A Wrestling Tale 1.29.02: Tazz And Triple H Vs. The Rock And Chris Jericho


Chris Jericho stared warily at his tag team partner. This made no sense. Why was he teaming up with the Rock? The audience cheered for the Rock when he came out, but they booed Chris Jericho. More importantly, why were they teaming up to face Triple H and Tazz? This was absolutely preposterous. Chris wanted to ignore the cheering crowd and run back to the dressing room so that he could find Vince and ask him what the hell was going on when Chris realized that he had no idea how he got here. He had no idea what arena he was in. He desperately tried to remember getting off the plane, getting his bags, getting into a limo and arriving at this this place, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember a goddamned thing.

Tazz and the Rock left the ring and stood on the apron. Triple H walked up to Chris and punched him three times. Chris Jericho fell down in horror. The punches had not been pulled. Sure, they hadn’t hurt as much as Chris would have thought, but they hurt all the same. Triple H tried to drop an elbow on Chris, but Chris rolled out of the way and made his way to his feet. He locked up with Triple H.

“You didn’t pull your punches,” Chris told Triple H. Triple H’s eyes went blank, and then showed a look of confusion.

“I know. I’m sorry. I need to ask you something. Where are we?”

Chris could not reply, because he picked Triple H up and body slammed him. He stomped on Triple H twice before Triple H rolled out of the way and got up. Triple H threw three punches at Chris, and Chris felt stunned. He didn’t fall down, but he couldn’t move. Triple H then ran at Chris as fast as he could and raised his knee. Chris felt a sharp pain in his gut and fell down. He quickly got to his feet and tried to punch Triple H, but Triple H blocked his punches and the two locked up again.

“You’re really hurting me, Hunter,” Chris told Triple H.

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. Where are we? Why am I tagging with Taz?”

“I don’t know,” was all that Chris could say before Triple H picked him up and hit a suplex. Triple H then began to stomp Chris, who could not move. Triple H looked at Chris with desperation in his eyes as he kicked him.

“I’m sorry Chris. I can’t help it. Chris, I can’t remember getting here tonight.”

Chris rolled out of the way and stood up. He kicked Hunter in the stomach and the two locked up again.

“Chris, I can’t remember my real name,” Triple H told Chris Jericho with a look of fear.

Chris suddenly felt all right. Nothing helps a person in a terrible situation like knowing that there is someone else in an even worse situation. At least Chris could remember what his real name was. It had to be that he was having some kind of dream, some kind of nightmare. Well, as long as he was dreaming he’d just have to take control of it and beat the hell out of Triple H. His patented double powerbomb seemed like a good idea at the moment.

Instead, Chris picked up Triple H and body slammed him again. He then dropped an elbow on Triple H. Triple H rolled out of the way and stood up. Triple H walked to Taz and tagged him in. Chris walked to the Rock and tried to tag him in, but wound up hitting him accidentally.

“Jabroni! What in the blue hell did you do that for?”

Tazz and Triple H made their way over to Chris. Triple H grabbed Chris from behind and Tazz hit him. Triple H let go and Chris fell down. Triple H spoke to himself as he walked back to his corner.

“What’s my name? I’m not Triple H. I’m not just Triple H.”

The pain was getting worse then before as Taz stomped away on Chris. Taz then picked Chris up by the hair and locked up with him. Chris spoke through his pain.

“I know you’re lost also. None of us know where we are, but I’ve got an answer. It’s a dream. It’s my dream. I’m sorry I had to drag you in to this.”

Tazz let out a laugh as he prepared to suplex Chris.

“If this is your dream, mind explaining to me why there’s a ramp and an entrance way but no doors to go through?”

Tazz suplexed Jericho. While in the air, Chris looked at the entrance ramp and saw that Tazz was right. There was an entrance, but there was no curtain, no doorway. Where that should have been was a black wall. Chris hit the mat and pain shot through his entire body. He wanted to scream, but he couldn’t. He moaned and lied there until Tazz picked him up and locked up with him.

“You feel that pain? I feel the pleasure of causing you pain, so you’ve got to feel the pain. This isn’t a dream. I think I’ve gotten it figured out.”

Tazz suddenly execute a belly to belly suplex. Although the pain was worse for Chris than the previous suplex, Chris was immediately able to roll over and get up. He punched Tazz once, but Tazz blocked the second punch. Chris walked over to the Rock and tried to tag him in, but once again wound up simply hitting the Rock in the face.

“Jabroni! What in the blue hell did you do that for?”

Chris stared at the Rock for a second before he felt Tazz wrap his arms around Chris’ waist. Tazz spoke to him as he performed three rolling German suplexes.

“You see Chris, I don’t remember getting off a plane and coming to this arena. I’m sure you don’t either. As much as I’m enjoying beating the hell out of you, I want nothing more than to run away from this ring. The thing is though, I can’t. I need to fight you. I need to fight you until I tag in Triple H or I defeat you. To be honest with you, I don’t think any one of us will ever be able to pin the other. I think we were on a plane, but it never reached its destination. I think we crashed. I think we’re in hell.”

Tazz finished his third suplex and the fans’ voices grew louder. They began to chant Tazz’s name. Chris was in an incredible amount of pain. He was sure that he was going to die. Tazz lifted Chris up, walked behind him and applied the Tazzmission. The hold was applied for nine seconds, and then Tazz let Chris go. Amazingly, Chris was able to make it to his feet with no problem. Tazz punched Chris and walked behind him. Chris was stunned with pain, out on his ffet. Tazz applied the Tazzmission once again.

“Tell me what you know, Chris. Tell me what you know about your life, because I don’t have one anymore. All I know is that I’m Tazz, I’m a good guy, I’m not supposed to have the skills to beat you but somehow I am. What do you know, Chris? Tell me what you know. I don’t even know my real name.”

Despite the pain, Chris spoke while trapped in the Tazzmission. “I’m Chris Jericho, I’m a bad guy, I’m more powerful then you. My nickname is Y2J. I know my real name. I am not just a character named Chris Jericho, I know my name!”

After a long nine seconds in the hold, Tazz released him. Jericho fell to the mat, and Tazz walked over to his corner and tagged Triple H. Tazz immediately walked back over to Chris and tried to pin him, but there was no referee to make the count. Since Tazz was the illegal man, it wouldn’t have matter anyway. As soon as Tazz covered Chris, the Rock entered the ring. He kicked Tazz and Tazz rolled off of Jericho and began to punch at the Rock. Chris Jericho rolled over and stood up. He heard the Rock’s voice behind him.

“Do you smell what the Rock is cooking, Jabroni?”

The Rock then spoke in a softer voice.

“I can’t help it. I can’t help saying these things. I must be dreaming. This has got to be a dream.”

Triple H kicked Chris in the stomach and put him in position for the pedigree. He spoke to Chris.

“Chris, what’s your real name? Tell me.”

Chris replied, “I know what my name is.”

Triple H deliver the pedigree. Chris hit the mat and rolled over so that he was on his back. Tazz entered the ring and hit the Rock so that he fell off the apron. Triple H covered Chris Jericho.

“If you know what your real name is, then tell me! I need to know!”

The fans began a very slow three count. “ONE!”

Chris Jericho could see only red, yet he spoke. “I know what my name is. My name is my name is ”


“I don’t have a name. I’m Chris Jericho.”

In that split second before the fans yelled three, Chris Jericho believed that he had it figured out. This might not be hell, but it was definitely some kind of punishment from God. They had been stripped of their lives by a higher power and sentenced to spend some kind of period of time fighting each other for real as simply their gimmicks. The reason that Chris was taking all of the punishment was because the power had made a mistake. The power didn’t realize that it was all fake. The power didn’t like the fact that Chris was a bad guy in the ring, so it sent him to a place with three good guys to get the crap kicked out of him. It was a place with no love, no real friendship or alliances, no real control over their own actions. It was a place to be judged, a place to be punished for being evil for a living.

But then why did Tazz and Triple H and even the Rock feel as though they were being punished also?

“Where the hell am I,” whispered Chris, “How could a place like this exist?”



Billy O’Neil, age 8, ran out of the room in tears. Tom O’Neil, age 12, laughed at his little brother as he ran away. Yeah, mom really wanted to hear about this. Tom could hear Billy yelling to mom, who was probably too busy cooking dinner to deal with this crap.


Mom, who obviously was not happy having to deal with this crap, yelled to Tom, “TOM! Come down here! Dinner’s almost ready anyway.”

Billy ran back into the room and gave Tom the middle finger and laughed at him. Billy then ran away. That kid was such a moron. If he had hit a instead of b, he would have been able to tag instead of punching the Rock. Tom couldn’t let Billy get away with giving him the finger, so he turned his video game system off and chased after Billy.