Saturday Evening Post 2.09.02

Hello there! I’m Flea you are about to read the Saturday Evening Post. Beware of flying egos.And am I the only one on this website that doesn’t drink on the job?

Before we get started with the news check this out

Video of Austin’s segments on Smackdown, WHERE Austin taunts poor Kurt, WHO is watching with dismay. WHEN Angle does not comply with Austin’s demands, Austin chucks the medals off a bridge. WHY resort to physical violence when you can play mind games? And HOW! WHAT?

Not only proving that I am a genius, but that the WWF reads my column and STEALS MY MATERIAL!

..I have always wanted to “mark out” for myself, please indulge. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out how these web guys can get all self important with a straight face. But today, I will try my best. We will revisit this on Page Six so stay with me and enjoy!

Let’s get to it .

TOP STORY

I was going to do the whole “Stephanie Pregnancy Angle” stuff here, but I think I will save that for tomorrow. For some reason more people read my Monday News Report (The Monday Edition) even though I think this report is better. Go figure. So come back Monday as I will try my best to show the positive aspects of it. And there are some, trust me.

Nope, today’s top story will be the retirement of one Steve Borden, better known as former WCW icon Sting. According to the newsline Sting announced that he is retired and will stay retired. He continues to make over 1 mil per year from AOL per contract stipulations. He also mentioned that it would “take a lot to get him out of retirement” and that the WWF is “raunchy”. Which has pretty much been his opinion of the Fed for the latter part of his career.

Most people are thinking his “take a lot” statement means he will come back for a big payoff. I don’t think so. He has been one of the highest paid wrestlers for the better part of a decade and has pretty much been stealing from AOL for the last 4 years, with limited wrestling and numerous “absences”. An argument could be made that the “up in rafters and be dark and brooding” layoff could be attributed to bad booking, I have always thought if he wanted to, Sting could have has more of an influence on what his character was doing; point is I don’t think he put up to much of a fight, wink, wink.

Personally, I have never been that big of a fan of Sting. I respected his work ethic and think he was a good in ring performer but I never really “marked” out for him and quite frankly would enjoy when Flair and the Horseman would kick his butt. I did like his matches with Cactus and also enjoyed his feud with Vader (one of my favorites; I was a big fan of Vader and used to love to watch him beat the heck out of Sting. That feud seemed like it lasted FOREVER!), but when I got right down to it, I was just never a fan of his.

I have always thought in some odd way, Sting has always been his own worst enemy. I questioned why he never went to the WWF, where Vince would have pushed him to the moon. He would have fit right in with Bret and HBK and know doubt would have been given a run with the WWF title sooner rather than later. Sting always maintained his loyalty to WCW (and this was before he found God). Flair had the same “loyal to a fault” disease (except when they pretty much hand-delivered him to the Fed, but he came back didn’t he?). Maybe Watts and/or whoever else hypnotized these guys or something. Maybe it was the higher contracts and less work dates. I think everyone would agree that being the WWF Champion is the most prestigious honor in the business and for one of the top stars of a generation to have never taken the opportunity to be the recipient of that honor speaks a lot his feeling for the business.

Later in his career Sting found God and had a huge shift in values and his perception of certain aspects of wrestling in general. It was at this time he appeared to be “phoning in” his matches and pretty much just stopped caring. Oddly enough, this coincided with the WWF’s “Attitude” period, something Sting abhorred and was pretty much the final confirmation that Sting would never join the Fed. We did get the match with Bret and it was damned good, but by then it didn’t have the aura or the excitement as, say, a main event match at Wrestlemania.

His final run in WCW featured a feud with Vampiro, in what featured several of the worst matches and most ridiculous angles in his career – which is pretty strong, considering he was also involved in the “White Castle of Fear” crapola. But at least we got a good match or two out of that angle. No redeeming qualities to the Vampiro angle. None. Zip. Zero. Unless you LOVED the “Fake Sting” gimmick. Yuck.

Sting did come back for one final mark-out moment – a match against his archival Ric Flair on the final Monday Nitro, signally the end of an era (figuratively) and the end of a wrestling company both men lived for, WCW. Good match with all the signature spots and the appearance that for at least one evening, Sting rekindled his the love for the sport. However, the whole match all I could think of was that so called of a scaffold match with Vampiro. Remember? The one where mindless brawling led to Sting being set on FIRE and pushed off a 50 scaffold to a stage below. And no, it never bothered me that it was a “cushioned mat” Sting landed on, I don’t want these guys to kill each other. What bothered me was that it wasn’t even Sting who did the big bump. It was a stuntman. A paid performer who took the fall for Sting in an angle that wasn’t even needed. Because Sting was afraid and /or saw no need to take the swandive. Which I think is the perfect epitaph for the career of Steven “Sting” Borden:

A man who never had the nerve or desire to really take the plunge for the wrestling business.

RIP Sting. Who’s Next?

Yep.

HEADLINES

Scott Steiner will be on the WWA PPV 24 Feb. according to most sources. The same sources also reported that Booty Daddy met with the WWF. The same sources also reported the WWA just can’t get their stuff together and the PPV is in jeopardy. But those sources later changed their tune and the PPV is back on, tickets are available and Poppa Pump will be joined by Macho Man Svage. Then the sources say Steiner will be a member of the NOW along with HBK and X-Pac. I don’t know what to believe but I do know this –

• I like Steiner and will be glad to see him back, wherever and
• I’m going to have to by ANOTHER gosh darn PPV. Rats. Let’s see – No Way Out, WWA, WM-8 not to mention another It Ain’t Sumo is about to get all busy. I know there is no point in asking for money but can at least have a T-Shirt? I won’t even bother asking for donation from all of my loyal readers, what do I care. I have more money than all of you anyway.

That’s all for Headlines today .I want to see what JR is up too. ME! ME! ME!

THE ROSS SAYS THIS

In the latest Ross Report , JR gets all cryptic again. He seems to do this every several weeks just to keep people on their toes. Case is point: Good Ol gives a brief two paragraph diction on “change” and how it’s a good thing. In other words, things are a-gonna be happenin and it would probably behoove the employees to adapt, lest they find themselves jerking the curtain at a flea (!) market someday. At least that’s what I got out of it. Then again, every time JR says stuff like this he comes back a week later and says he was “misinterpreted” and the folks on the Internet are schmucks for reading to much into his words. In essence, JR gets off on jerking people’s chains. Come back next week to find out for sure.

Also in the news, Rock – E needs a break. All his Hollywood antics on top of wrasslin have really burned the poor guy out. He’s apparently wrapped up the extra filming required for “Scorpio King” and is about to be anywhere and everywhere pimping the film something harsh. But he will still fight UT at No Way Out.

JR gives props this week to Val, Goldust, Booker, Test, Christian and DDP. In the “gee, thanks for telling me Good Ol’ department, JR thinks HHH vs. Angle as well as Austin vs. Some Other Guy at the PPV will be pretty good matches. Ya think?

He also keeps up the promoting of the “minor leagues” i.e. OVW and HWA. Looks like some of these wrestlers will get brought up when the “split” happens. Others may or may not be out of a job. Can’t spell “jerk” without JR I guess.

And finally, check this out –



The following talent were the individuals chosen to attend our “Invitation Only” Tryout Camp that the World Wrestling Federation is holding from February 16-23 in Cincinnati. Josh Wilcox, Rene Dupre, Jason Sugarman, Race Steele, Kevin Fertig (Seven), Travis Tomko, Matt Morgan, AJ Styles, Lex Lovett, Eddie Craven, Jorge Estrada, Sonny Siaki, Matt Stryker, Chad Collyer, Kim Neilson and Erin Bray.



All apologies to the wrestlers above, but doesn’t that list sound oddly like the cast of a gay porno? No wonder Sting retired.

RADIO GA GA

Many of today’s wrestlers choose to express their opinions and gripes on various radio programs, be it the standard AM/FM stations or the up and coming Internet talk shows. Here is a run down on who said what

To honor Black History Month, Native American and former WWF Superstar Tatanka did a radio interview and was nice enough to tell us stuff that I never knew. For example he was “undefeated” (supposed smart translation – didn’t job) for a two year time period. Shocking, just because I have never heard his name brought up with the whole “holding people down” theories that float around. Tatanka has been included in a book “Wrestling with God”, which details wrestlers who have found spirituality and let a higher power be their guide. That higher power apparently instructed him to leave wrestling when Vince changed over to the “attitude” era. But no regrets on Tatanka’s part, he is happy to do the spot appearances on Indy shows. Ugh.

IWC God Chris Benoit was on a tv show in Canada and shared some thoughts with us. Normal stuff. He name drops Dynamite, Steamboat and Flair as his inspirations and points to the Best of 7 matches with Booker as his most memorable. He expects his return to be April – Mayish but he will be at Fan Axxess for WM X-8. And check this out:

Benoit said WCW “sucked” and Hogan, Nash and Hall “blew his chances” at the WCW Title Belt when they all played in the same sandbox. OH COME ON! This may or may not be a “work” just to play up the “N.W.O” cancer thing, but it sounded like a shoot top me and something that all the Benoit marks will eat up with a spoon. Yes, the common theory is that the big, bad “top guys” held down the “Vanilla Midgets”, but didn’t Benoit get a title shot, WIN the belt and then BOLT to the WWF (which I always thought was awful unprofessional) because he couldn’t handle SULLIVAN being the Bookerman? Why is it always someone else fault? Don’t even get me started on the whole Nancy thing.

ROLL THE DICE

Look like you guys and gals with Direct TV have finally caught a break. The satellite company and the WWF have come to an agreement to get back in bed with each other and start making money again. First up is No Way Out and then moves along to WM-X-8 and the “Fanatic Series”. Good for everyone. I never understood the reasons behind the conflicts, except Vince likes to get into pissing contests every now and then and Direct TV underestimated the value of WWF programming, especially with the Biggest PPV of the Year coming up. I’m pretty sure you will still be able to get the webcast over on WWF.com, which just might be the way to go on this stuff. $15 vs. $35. Think about it. Unless you are still one of those dopes with a dial-up connection, then don’t bother.

IN OTHER WORDS

Steven Schwenke has a Joker’s spot up some Valentine’s day LUV all up in your area.

E.C. latest Mind Squeezin’s has a follow-up to his soon to be legendary “Losers” column – This one is titled “Wannabe” and is sure to make him even more friends. And contrary Schwenke’s, You get NO LUV from E.C. which may now stand for “(E.)xcept for Eric and Flea, it may come down to everyone calling me a miserable old (C.)oot.

Also go check out www.lethalinjection.com. Tell em’ Flea sent ya.

PAGE SIX

And that’s all from me today. The next time you see or hear something on WWF TV, just remember it has probably been stolen if not from ME, but probably from somewhere in the Internet Wrestling Community. Come back Monday a look at the pregnancy angle, Flea style.

Because I am a member of the IWC and what I say is important and should be revered. Now pardon me while I wait on your emails confirming that fact.

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That was pretty fun. But not addictive. Wonder how people get caught into that trap?

This has been Saturday Evening Post and I’m Flea.