The Monday Edition 2.11.02

Hey There! I’m Flea and it’s just another Manic Monday. Sometimes they call it Stormy Monday but in my experience Tuesday’s just as bad. Thank you for joining me first things first.

I want to apologize for the quality of last week’s Monday Edition – I wrote it at work and did the old rush job. Although it came out like crap (spelling and grammatical errors, liable does not equal libel jeez) I did get positive feedback, so thanks. I just wasn’t happy with the report and try to hold myself to a higher standard as far as proofreading goes. I never claim to be the best at this but I do take a certain amount of pride in my work. Spell check doesn’t cost a dime, you know.

I’ll lay off the smoking thing this week, but only because I have the return of something near and dear to my heart, so enjoy. One quick thing – did you see the Truth ad complaining about the advertisements in Africa? Here is a country being destroyed by the AIDS VIRUS and the Truth gang has the nerve to whine about “cancer sticks”. Priorities, kids, PRI-OR-IT-IES!

Come on, let’s go

FIRST OFF

Okay. If you have been reading my columns for any length of time you will know that I am a fan. And a mark, to a certain degree. I welcome the N.W.O. into the WWF and refuse to buy into all the “backstage politics” and “glass ceiling” theories / rumors that float around and are basically DRILLED into your head. This unfortunately turns our fun, twisted world of wrestling into a laughable circus of “we know more than them because we am SMART”. Go back and read some of my archives if you want more detail on this topic and my views. That’s how I feel and I’m not ashamed to admit that I am still a mark for “sports entertainment”. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be watching and damn sure wouldn’t tie up my weekends writing about it for an Internet Wrestling website. Of course, the whole concept about being involved in the Internet Wrestling Community is the fact that you normally give up being a “mark” for the world of wrestling and start becoming a mark for yourself. Check out yesterday’s Saturday Evening Post if you want to see me, Flea get all self important. It was fun but definitely not an accurate portrayal (well some of it was, but to make the point I just tuned it up with a little “smart” and “holier than thou” flava). What does all this have to do with the news report you are reading right now? Two words – Stephanie McMahon.

Before we get started here I want to bring up to “givens”

  • Given #1 – Pregnancy angles, as a rule, suck. Always. I’ll back that up in a second.
  • Given #2 – Steph is NOT pregnant. Not in real life or the story lines. I have seen the former reported by supposedly reputable sources and the later bandied about as a possibility. There is and will not be a baby. Which is why Given #1 is accurate.

Now then – Stephanie McMahon: Now here is someone who is the ultimate mark for herself. Nepotism has put her (according to all sources) in a very envious position: in charge or the booking/writing staff with say-so over the majority of the angles we are watching. So what is the first thing on her mind? Herself. As in plugging herself into key storylines. As in making herself the focal point of the top one or two angles in the WWF. As in giving herself valuable TV time as opposed to many of the wrestlers on the payroll. Because she is in a position to do this and then actually goes and DOES it, Stephanie is (and has been for quite a while) the scourge of the “smarter fan” who sees what she is doing as a horrible thing and something that is on the verge of ruining the WWF. No, really. I can’t make stuff like that up. Check out any website / message board / opinion column, etc. Stephanie is the REAL cancer, not the “backstage politicking” of Hogan, Nash or Hall. It was like a BOMB was dropped when she announced “I’m Pregnant!”. Of course everyone knew that was coming because hindsight is 50/50 and all that.

The reason pregnancy angles suck in the Wrestling World is because we do not want to wait 9 months for the payoff to an angle. We have been conditioned (for better or worse) to accept nice and tidy angles in 4-6 week bursts or maybe the ever elusive 3 PPV program, which takes the right characters and a good enough story line to keep us enthralled. As Cactus said in his book, the modern day fan finds “fast food” easier to digest than “a seasoned filet mignon” i.e. we want our payoff and we want it NOW! Catchphrases optional. NOW! NOW! NOW!

This isn’t even bringing into play “What do you do if the baby is born? It’s kinda tough to put a six week old in a TLC match. And I doubt wrestling fans would buy the old “General Hospital Rule of Childhood Age Advancement” – have the kid run up the stairs at age six saying “I’m going up to do homework I’ll be right back” and then comeback at age sixteen ready to have some easy to write teen angst. Sure, we will accept HHH dropped inside a car from 40 feet in the air, nary a scratch, but that whole kid thing? Bull – oney.

So despite the fact that pregnancy angles suck, this one has a couple redeeming qualities. The first thing it did was put instant heat on the HHH vs. Angle match, which was thrown out there last minute style for No Way Out. It’s much more effective than “I just came back from injury and want to beat your ass” type of thing, because H wasn’t even involved with Angle when he was injured. It also allowed the possible continuation of the “love triangle” betwixt H, Steph and Kurt. For reference, I watched SS2000 and the follow-up RAW and Smackdown this weekend and this was an intriguing story line that was unfortunately dropped like a hot potato with no closure. If they play the “who’s the daddy” card, Kurt can be the antagonist for the situation, regardless of the fact he will not be the father. As I have mentioned, Kurt Angle is a genius and a prodigy – he can make an angle (har) work and interesting to some degree – Smackdown and the baby carriage / monkey promo proved that. From a match standpoint, H vs. Angle makes great sense because Hunter may need a little “carrying” until he gets back to 100% ring shape. Who better than Angle to provide that. (Well, Austin but no sense in touching that feud for a while). Angle will make H look good and if H beats him, Angle can get his heat back just like that with out a loss in credibility. The whole thing makes sense all levels.

Where I think they may be going with this is some kind of super angle, WMX-8, blow-off with Some Other Guy as the possible “father”. H and Guy are set to tie it on at the big show and this will give it a little extra “oomph”. I asked several weeks ago how Some Other Guy would get “heel heat” seeing as he is Canadian and WM will be on his home turf well, there’s your answer. Hook him up with Steph in his corner and the possibility he not only stole H’s woman but did the wild thing with her. BOOOOOO! Not because he did the stealin and the wild thingin, but because it’s Stephanie McMahon and EVERYONE hates her, even the jaded Canadian crowd who cheer their hometown boys by default. All the time, every time. (Please do not bring up Christian getting booed. He clobbered Edge, a fellow Canadian. SOMEONE had to be the heel. If it had been anyone else, Christian would have had his own holiday). So putting Steph with Guy will hopefully get some booing and hissing going on instead of a monster pop for Guy which would be confusing as heck considering the storylines.

So there are a couple of “plusses” that can happen from the “I’m Pregnant” story line. As always I will ask you to keep an open mind while watching and try not to get involved in the mindset of “I hate Steph because she’s booking herself into the top angles”. Or even the “I hate Steph because she takes up to much TV time and was lucky enough to be born a McMahon and is just such a “mark” for herself” line of thinking. In reality, that’s what drives the IWC crazy the most, methinks. The fact that she IS a mark for herself and has the ultimate stage to prove it. And it’s the ultimate FU to the IWC, who thinks that everyone should be booking for our tastes and our tastes alone. It drives folks NUTS watching the bitch as she goes and shows off her egocentric behavior as much and as often as possible. And if you listen very carefully this is what you hear: “She’s a goddamn mark for herself…who does she think she is?”

“Us?”

BENOIT RULEZ~!

HAVE YOU HEARD?

In addition to Chyna, it looks as if Big Poppa Booty Daddy may be looking at a choice role in Ah-nolds new Terminator flick. Sounds good to me. Ah-nold rules. And the Terminator stories and movies are so strong the only way they would be able to ruin them is to add a possible transvestite and an unintelligible roided out freak. Right.

According to BOB, this is what’s happening for the WWA PPV not this coming Sunday but the following Sunday.

How about a “Cruiserweight Survival Match” with AJ Styles, Tony Mamuluke, Shark Boy, Low Ki, Chris Daniels, and Nova.

Also be on the lookout for Crowbar vs Sabu (?) (!!!!)

Eddy Guerrero vs Psychosis vs Juventud Guerrera (!!!!!)

Disco Inferno vs Brian Christopher. (well, can’t win em all. At least it’s Disco though)

Also on the card in some for or fashion will be Bret, Big Bad Poppa Daddy, Macho Man and Jeff J-A (HA HA) DOUBLE R (HA HA) E- DOUBLE T.

Sounds like fun. I’m gonna order it. How bout you? Two weeks to decide and save that money. Who knew that Sabu was even still alive?

Speaking of Disco, looks like the Fed might be interested in hiring him. I like the idea. Disco has been one of my favorites for a long, long time, just because he can make anything work and appear entertaining. Good wrestler too.

And if you haven’t seen the promotional work for WM-X8 in appears to have been N.W.O. – ified. See what I mean right here.

ANOTHER WEEK OF THIS CRAP

The WWF takes a trip south for the week. Monday Night is RAW and will be brought to you LIVE from Jonesboro, Arkansas. The focal point will be the renewal of marriage vows between HHH and Stephanie McMahon. Think something screwy will happen? Tune in to have those thoughts confirmed.

Smackdown will be taped in Little Rock, Arkansas for Thursday Night’s show. This will be the final leg of PPV promotion. Message to Grut – it’s probably best if you don’t take a drink every time they say No Way Out. But if you decide to, use Tequila instead of beer. If your gonna be hardcore you gotta do it right.

THE LINKS ARE ON ME

E.C. has Byte This avaiable

Daniels has the Week in Wrestling.

Brower gets Jakked

And the link got messed up yesterday – so hear you go again – www.lethalwrestling.com

Where is my EXCESS report? Right here. Grut joins me again as he gets invited to a party on a Saturday Night. Check it out.

PAGE SIX

Well, that’s another week(end) of news for you. Hope you enjoyed. If you have some time and haven’t done so yet, go back and check out Saturday Evening Post. I do a nice little tribute to Sting among other goodies which you may (or may not) find entertaining.

An individual at this email address – bastian0@swbell.net found it interesting enough to send me the following

i m soorry but you are a bitch if it wasent for sting i wouldnt be watching wcw he was the best wrestrel ever so is Benoit

Well, pal, you’re in LUCK and just because I’m in a good mood I’ll break the news for you just like this

SIX DEGREES OF RYDER FAKIN

The Winter Olympics have started and are taking place right here in the GOOD OL’ U.S.A! This has rekindled our patriotism, which had cooled off a bit since the events of 9.11.01. Patriotism in the form of American flags, banners and many heroes of our country, including firefighters, police officers and members of our military both past and present.

Our public servants and military veterans are a constant reminder of what individuals will do on behalf of our country. Whether it be domestically providing assistance and protection or even 10,000 miles away in a jungle fighting an unidentifiable enemy or even more tragically, besieged by one of the earliest forms of chemical warfare, Agent Orange, which left many veterans sick later in their lives.

A different kind of agent will besiege the Winter Olympics, the kind that attacks our stars of sport with dreams of cashing in on their newfound fame. One thing that the athletes will need to remember is once they are “in bed” with an agent, they MUST keep in contact, lest things get misinterpreted in regards to their career.

Case in point – Sting. Just yesterday he announced his “retirement” from the sport, apparently forgetting to contact his “agent”, who still appears to be negotiating on the dude’s behalf to get a few “big payoff” bookings. For shame on Sting for doing this. Or maybe for shame for the agent taking Sting’s career into his own hands. But maybe he realized Sting is not going to go out of his way to get involved with that kind of stuff.

What I do know is I would have not know about the “agent’s side of the story if it was not for the person that all of this revolves around. And I’m always ready to give credit where credit is due. I stole the above item of news from my savior and yours .and yes, of course, that would be

BOB

And thank you for the career.

Thanks for reading THE MONDAY EDITION, I’m Flea.