A Wrestling News Report 2.21.02

I love you guys. I enjoy doing this. Wanna party?

NEWS!

SPOILERS AHOY!

Smackdown happened, and so does this. Vince talks, Angle and Kane fight, UT and Flair talk and baby Flair might be brought in on Monday, nWaustin wackiness, Christian and Edge fight and then Christian talks, nWaustin wackiness, those pretty Hardy Boyz and RVD fight Storm and the DUDZ BONZO GONZO, Flair and Steph and a man in the bathroom talk, oh God I can’t believe the match they’re setting up at Wrestlemania for the tag titles after spoiling me with two years of TLC, a Wrestlemania poster finally makes sense, HHH and UT kind of fight, and nWaustin wackiness. Sounds good.

JUNK NEWS, HUZZAH!

D-Lo and some merry men will be called up after the split. Brock and Ron need more development time. See boys, that’s what you get for showing up late and getting drunk and that’s some other people. Sorry.

Kevin and Jerry spill their guts at WWF.com, the last bastion of journalistic integrity since Tommy Fierro went soft.

All Japan Woman’s Pro-Wrestling apparently ain’t sumo. You lied to me, Widro! YOU LIED!

Regis and Kelly and E! have talked about the Rock and Hogan. (spoiler alert) Wait until the news about the APA vs. Billy and Chuck match hits the public. Tom Brokaw will finally have something important to talk about.

The nWo pricks keep showing up in a limo to the shows, although they shell out the fifty bucks for the limo themselves. The WWF is cool with this, so long as the referees don’t get a limo.

The WWF isn’t sure what to do with Nash at Wrestlemania. If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion, have him take on Kurt Angle. The match would most likely be just kind of okay, but promo wise, Angle is the best match.

Stacey Kiebler was on Howard Stern last night, and he wasn’t telling her to get off, and she wasn’t getting off anyway. WINK! ; )

Rock and Hogan got a 5.3 rating, although the first hour only did a 4.3. This cause many executives at Titan Tower to jump out of their offices but with a parachute. I dunno either.

Hall and Nash will work house shows this weekend, not for the WWF but for the nWo! TOO SWEET! 4 LIFE! I’M DRUNK! WHERE’S THE LIMO? SOMEBODY STOP MY EX-HUSBAND!

Girl, I need you to relax. You’re getting all angry with me, and I was just trying to have some fun with you. I thought you wanted me to do that. Okay, I’ll stop. Girl, why are you doing that? I guess that you don’t want me to stop. Okay, honey, I’ll do it to you some more. What the hell? I thought you were all into it? Aw, girl! Come on, don’t get all bitchy with me like that. I love ya baby. Just stop confusing me, and we’ll never fight again.

The above was a joke! Relax.

That last part was so inside, I bet you’re all confused right now.

You know who rules? Lora. And Flea. And Carlos, but only south of the border. And my readers. Even you, Widro and PK and Ashish, you all rock. Who else rocks?

PLUG ROCK!

Brian Cole and his International News report ROCK!

Josh Nason and his Fight Club ROCK SOLID!

Scott Keith and his retro rant ROCKS THE BODY THAT ROCKS THE PARTY!

Eric S. ROCKS! Well, maybe that’s a bad choice of words.

Benovitz and his top ten women in wrestling tornado with #1 Ric Flair ROCKS!

Letawsky, who answers all the questions you ask 411, ROCKS WITH THE POWER OF KNOWLEDGE!

Daniels and last weeks review ROCKS!

www.blowoutmagazine.com ROCKS BECAUSE A DRUNKEN PROMISE IS STILL A PROMISE!

ESPIN ROCKS!

ROCKS ROCK!

Everyone else sucks.

Ways to end this

I have this interview I did with Steve Corino I was going to make ME AND STEVE, but it wasn’t an AIM conversation. He just wanted me to send him questions, so I did. I was still going to make it a Me and Steve, but Flea had me call him last night and we spoke for 3 hours and at one point he told me this really nice story about Steve. I’ll write it up as a wrestling tale for next week and put the interview there. Instead, I got an IM from a guy who asked for my opinion on something. I saved the conversation and hopefully he won’t mind as I put in my column my favorite kind of IM talk with a random guy.

ME AND JPDAVIS01!

JPDavis01: I know you probably have a lot of people talking to you, but what is your opinion on this nWo thing?

VPJG: Actually, just you and Flea. It is 2:00 am.

JPDavis01: It’s 11 pm here in CA

VPJG: It’s okay. I hope it leads to the return of the 4 Horseman when Benoit returns.

JPDavis01: Who would the 4 be? Beniot and?

VPJG: Jericho, Rhyno and I dunno, let’s say, Kane.

JPDavis01: LoL, I don’t see Jericho in a group anymore. Unless it is to take out the nWo, and he would be the leader. I just wish they would give him a win without controversy.

VPJG: I reserve my wishes for porn.

VPJG: stars.

VPJG: On my penis.

VPJG: Female ones.

JPDavis01: LoL That is a good wish I guess.

VPJG: What do you think of nWo stuff?

JPDavis01: I like it, but I am a deranged individual. I loved the Rock getting Jacked especially cause he brought it on himself.

VPJG: The ambulance crap was stupid.

JPDavis01: I hope the nWo beats down JR though.

JPDavis01: It was hillarious.

JPDavis01: It’s hillarious because it is so comic bookish

JPDavis01: No way anyone EVER walks out of that alive.

JPDavis01: But there are some hicks in Alabama that think that stuff was real.

JPDavis01: That the Rock is really gonna recover from that before Wrestlemania

VPJG: You know what would be great? On a raw, for the first 50 minutes between matches we see the nWo planning an attack to finally take ‘HIM’ out.

JPDavis01: They shouldn’t have had them run away though. They should have lit the ambulance on fire or something.

JPDavis01: LoL Yea that would be awesome. Except that it would be complete and udder crap.

VPJG: Then the Zoo Crew faces the Dudleyz, and the nWo comes down and destroys Scotty. Then they celebrate like they won the superbowl.

JPDavis01: How to make an entire audience kill themselves. Book a hour long match between the Zoo Crew and the Gay duo of Billy and Chuck.

JPDavis01: At some point that would turn into Gay Porn

VPJG: At some point? I’d say about 5 seconds in! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

JPDavis01: True True

VPJG: Gay porn is funny.

JPDavis01: Well I never watch it so I wouldn’t know, but OK

Big one tomorrow, maybe. Later.