The Monday Edition 02.25.02

Welcome to Monday, I’m Flea. No time to waste as we have a PPV to cover and a special surprise interview at the end enjoy!

Come on, let’s go

FIRST OFF

Well O.K. Apparently 411 did decide to have coverage of this event as BOSS did a play by play over on the newsline. Obviously I was totally incapable of convincing him and PK that my version would be worth a flying f*ck but

Here you go anyway .WWA Revolution Live from Las Vegas.

We start out with an address from the owner of the WWA Andrew McManus, who breaks the news that Savage no showed. Useless f*ck. And that’s coming from a big fan of the Macho Man.

The show opens with a live performance of the theme song of the PPV “Revolution” performed by a band called Tantric. They sound like Creed. Who could like the Cult who pretty much rip off the Doors anyway, so I guess it’s safe to say that this dude singing is imitating Jim Morrison.

Tonight’s hosts are Jeremy Borash and Mark Madden. Tell you what I’ll do. I’ll hold all comments regarding the announcers (with a few exceptions) and the general feel you the show until the end. Let’s gets to the matches.

“Cruiserweight Survival Match” with AJ Styles, Tony Mamuluke, Shark Boy, Low Ki, Chris Daniels, and Nova.

Madden starts the night off on the right foot by saying ain’t none of these guys did no PPV. Mamuluke and Styles start with Tony getting his nose busted open right quick like. BLOOD is what I like and so this show gets mad props right out the gate. Shark Boy comes in and apparently his gimmick is wearing a goofy match and biting people on the ass. But he is from “20, Leagues Under The Sea” so I’ll let him slide. Chris Daniels joins the party. Low Ki comes and starts kicking and chopping really stiff as everyone scratches their heads about why this guy ain’t famous. I’m not one of those people. Nova comes in and innovates but brings Low Ki wants more of Daniels. Never mind that, as we quickly bring back in Tony and not long after that Shark Boy. Independent highspot mania all over the place! The cameraman misses EVERYTHING and therefore should be shot, in my opinion. More highspots with no rhyme or reason. It kind of weird that all these guys want to get their highspots on tv but let their fellow struggling Indy brothers kick out on TWO! Nova wins the thing.

Bret comes out and rambles. I keep waiting for the guy to cut into a vicious heel speech but he just never does. Big boos for bragging about Canada and hockey, but Bret switches gears and names drops Bin Laden (Hooray!). Bret drops the bomb that Grand Master Sexay will be a main event contestant, fighting Jeff Jarret. Ramble on, mumble on, Hitman just seems really out of place. But good to see the guy.

Backstage we go, as it’s a f*cking midget trying to hit another f*cking midget in the face with a garbage can lid. Fortunately Angry Alan Funk steps in to break things up, but he ain’t no longer Angry or Alan. He’s the FUNKSTER! Confused yet? Well get this: He’s imitating Hulk Hogan! Right down to the old school Sterling Golden hair! Ripping off the Funkster or the Hulkster, I’m not sure which one is more sacrilegious. Guess we will find out when he hits the ring. Midget #1 throws the lid into a wall and makes chase of midget #2.

By the way, I am really disturbed by midgets. But everyone that knows anything says you must confront your fears. So I will. Later on, not now.

Added match – Reno vs. The Funkster.

Funk has the Hogan gimmick down to a tee. Solid match by both guys with Reno hitting some good stiff offense. Alan Funk has been around long enough to always have a decent match. He plays to the crowd with some “Hulk up’s but the crowd just doesn’t seem all that interested. Reno sneaks in the “roll of the dice” but the Funkster makes one final comeback and wins it with a keg drop. The resemblance is eerie. To Hogan not Funk for those of y’all who missed the show.

A limo arrives a produces Big Bad Poppa Pump. Looking good and carting around a carload full of freaks. No Midajah though.

Disco Inferno comes out to join the announce team and issues an open challenge, which never seems to bode well for the D.I. Disco gives Madden a hard time much to my delight and the delight of the crowd. They have the announce mikes “on” so the arena can hear the words of wisdom from the trio.

Next up is a tag match – Kronic vs. Native Blood

Native Blood are Navajo Warrior and Ghost Walker – California Independents would be my guess. Kronic comes out to a good pop and look much more comfortable in front of a smaller crowd and fighting jobbers. Quick match with all of Kronic’s trademark moves getting utilized. Glad these guys found a home.

Backstage we go to Terry Taylor who interviews Puppet “The Psycho Dwarf” (he’s a midget himself by the way.

Snatch that microphone away and preach my brother! “Gimme that mic before I put your balls in a speedbag!” Yes, MIDGETS are the true stars of America! When we came out of our mothers the doctors and the nurses just STOPPED ..and .STARED! When I was a little child, I would weeble wobble down the street and everybody would STOP and STARE! My ultimate goal in life is to destroy every midget, every weeble wobble that walks in America and the when they’re broken down I WILL BE the TRUE STAR OF AMERICA! Godddd Blesssss Ammmerriiicaaa!

The Erruption is the Next PPV offered from the WWA. If that appears to be a typo, blame Borash.

Confront your fears, Flea. Impromptu Midget match. Bodyslam by Puppet (The Psycho Dwarf) on Tio (the other midget) ..another slam on the metal stage.Whip face first into the steel post and Puppet stops to taunt the crowd. Reverse whip by Tio into the steel stairs. Tip with the trashcan and puts Puppet inside it! CRACK! with the chair. Again! Again! Tio scaling the ropes, oops slipped, back in business now with Puppet stuck inside the garbage can, still on the floor. SUPERFLY SPLASH!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh LORD! Damn is that funny. Pin attempt 1,2 no. Back into the ring, couple of punches by Tio, and he slides in a chair. Up to the second rope guillotine legdrop on the chair! Punch, punch, whip to the ropes reversed by Puppet who catches him and hits him with a powerslam. Follow-up that with a jackhammer. Whip to the ropes, facebuster 1,2 not enough. Puppet badmouths the crowd again. Into the ropes and it’s some kind of submission move! “Midget Tamer” sez Madden. Puppet goes for some plunder and finds the garbage can. Tip sneaks up a gets a 10-punch count along. But he gets a powerbomb for his troubles. Puppet with the trashcan again, places in between the first and second ropes (har) but gets reversed headfirst into it! Tio back in control, up to the top SWANTON BOMB! Puppet throws him to the outside and finds a bag of

THUMBTACKS!!!!!!!!

Puppet hoists Tio up on his shoulders ..TKO on the thumbtacks FACE FIRST! Wow! And Brutal. Couldn’t happen to a nicer midget. 1,2, and that’s all folks. Puppet wins! Play Scott Steiner’s music!

And here he is folks. Big Bad Poppa Daddy comes out and cleans house on the midgets. He then says a bunch of things in his own special unintelligible way. Next on his list is an ass kicking of Disco, which happens posthaste. Genetic Booty Pump looks pretty damn good. Al lot quicker than the last time I saw him, that’s for sure.

Eddy Guerrero vs Psychosis vs Juventud Guerrera (!!!!!)

I’m wore out after that midget stuff. But I’m over my fears some I’m sure you are happy for me. Some lucha action here as these guys are professional enough to just slow down a little and actually hit their spots. One spot that stands out – Juvy and Psy try a double dropkick but Eddie ducks and they both go nuts first into each other. Don’t see that on Monday night. Multiple false finishes and then the “ring around the Rosies everyone hits their finisher until one man gets the duke”. This man tonight is Eddie who wins it with the frogsplah. He jumps on the mic and gets heelish but then breaks down into his personal problems and says he’s glad to be back. This bring out

Jerry Lynn?

Yes indeed. He calls Eddie a whiny bitch, which leads to them scrapping which leads to a Cradle Piledriver by Jerry on the the belt. He lets Eddie knows he has his number and it looks like we have a feud brewing. Works for me.

Also be on the lookout for Crowbar (Devon Storm) vs Sabu (?) (!!!!)

And here they are! First time I have seen Sabu actually “in” a match in a long, long time. He looks rough. Fonzie is with him, who has looked the same for 20 years. And it looks like Devon has “Al Snow” disease – talented but will never be a star, therefore relegated to stupid hardcore matches. The timing is off a Sabu misses to moves on the outside. Landing right on his head both times. In another moment of brilliance Crowbar tries to powerbomb Sabu from the apron to a table outside. He misses and Sabu goes SPLAT on the floor. Yuck. To repay the favor, Crowbar takes the a powerbomb on two chairs, set upright. You’re welcome. Sabu is a bloody mess by the end of things and speaking of messes, Crowbar wins this mess after Fonzie clobbers Sabu by mistake with a chair. Sabu ain’t happy about that but doesn’t punish Fonzie for it. Instead he puts Crowbar on a table and jumps off the top of the stage set with an Arabian Facebuster. Looked to be a good 10 feet drop, for those of you that count. Sweet Revenge it is.

Mark Madden welcomes our second surprise of the evening – Larry Zbyszko. He shoots all over Vince McMahon but never tells us why he hates Vince. That’s the only reason I was paying attention was to hear the reason. Other than that, bullshit. Larry! The wars are over and Vince won. Can’t believe Borash would put this on PPV and still be able to sleep at night. Oh, wait. Yes I can.

Lenny and Lodi are the recipients of our next surprise – Rick Steiner and The CAT!!! E. Miller. This lasts all of..about that long. Lenny gets murdered and well, that’s all that happened. Coolest thing was Cat walking over to Madden and Jap-Smacking him into oblivion. Ha Ha and HA! Madden recovers and Cat does it AGAIN! “Fat bastard!” Preach on Cat!

Main Event – Jeff Jarret vs. Grand Master Sexay (Brian Christopher)

Good solid match with tons of stalling, just like they were taught in that place down south. But this is fer sure not main event PPV stuff. Even though the announce team drilled into our head how over Grand Master is over in England. Someone gives the idiot a microphone where he let’s us know JJ don’t suck, he swallows. Stick and stones can break your bones but words cause permanent damage. Crowd goes wild at the end when the refs start fighting, and that is your biggest “pop” of the night. Guitar gets used and JJ retains the title with the Stroke on the belt. That ends our night with the WWA.

First of all, they need a new announce team. I like what Borash is doing trying to get a new promotion off the ground, but he should not be out there calling matches. Neither one of the guys can even be bothered to learn the names of the moves (whattamanuver and whattamove where used, ad nauseum). If Borash wants to announce at least bring Tenay back to be the third man. His expertise would have definitely helped, especially with the Crusierweight matches when everyone was flying around. Madden is still Madden, which shows you how depleted the announce pool in Pro Graps actually is.

This was not a “horrible” show by any stretch of the imagination. It did seem like a cross between Thunder and ECW tv. With all apologies to Borash and the guys busting their ass it just wasn’t very good. Whether or not you order the replay depends how much you value $20. I’m sure everything will be rosy over in BOB’s world, I think I’ll go check

HAVE YOU HEARD?

Proving the ghost of ECW stupidity still haunts us, Vic Grimes may or may not be dead at the moment. At an XPW show over the weekend (cleverly titled XPW Freefall) Grimes had a “match” with New Jack. If you have ever seen a New Jack match, it5’s usually a bunch of crap with one big spot and the end. This one was no different. Seems the two of them went up a scaffolding about thirty feet in the air with the “target landing area” and bunch of tables stacked 3 feet wide and 4 feet high, by most reports. Grimes was the one to take the fall and wouldn’t you know, he MISSED the majority of the tables in a dive the would probably rate 3.5 from the judging community. He didn’t get up. Cue the EMT’s and the stretcher. No further status of his condition is available at this time. All the best to the health and welfare of Vic Grimes. I have no further comment about this bullshit.

  • Update: according to Da Meltz, Grimes was actually walking around backstage in lieu of the ambulance ride. Looks like another bump like this is in someone out there’s future.

The Ring of Honor show went off without a hitch last night in Philly. For those of you not familiar, this is the promotion being run by Rob and the gang at RF Video. The show drew around 500 folks and here’s the results (Indy Fans should know some of these names)

  • Hit Squad defeated Christopher Street Connection

  • Red defeated Jay Briscoe

  • Xavier defeated Scoot Andrews

  • Spanky & Ikaika Loa defeated Oz & Michael Shane

  • Super Crazy beat Eddy Guerrero to become first IWA Intercontinental champion

  • Low Ki won a three-way dance over Christopher Daniels and American Dragon.

Sounds like a dandy and another chance to carve out an identity in the times of one great big national promotion. Look for videos of the show over at RF Video. A complete report should be available on 411’s Indy News Report.

ANOTHER WEEK OF THIS CRAP

RAW will be in Providence R.I. at the Dunkin Donuts (ha ha ha ha ha) Center. Look for some n.W.o. revenge. Also be on the look out for an APA bar skit, as they usually go to the Friendly Tap to drink some beer and raise some hell. Jeez. First the place shows it’s ass and calls Farrooq a “darky” now there gonna get homosexual material to work with in the form of Chuck and Billy. You know, right there is the reason I’ll be watching RAW tomorrow. Can’t get enough of that there gay humor!

Smackdown will be in Bahstan. Hopefully they put just a tad more effort into this week’s show. Recaps and Reviews just don’t cut it for me.

THE LINKS ARE ON ME

Looks like Brower has Jakked available.

Expect a Heat Report from Carlos.

As previously mentioned no EXCESS report this week. I will be back next week. All apologies for the lack of advanced notice and if you ever see an EXCESS report NOT written by me, ignore it. I do have a certain amount of pride, you know.

I imagine Eric will be back next week and full of piss and vinegar. Be on the look out for Grut’s return as well. Unless we are fortunate enough to get a repeat of the guest reporter, Dog ApeMan. Grut will be back, I’m sure.

PAGE SIX

And now, as promised an EXCLUSIVE interview to The Monday Edition and 411. The subject of the interview was more than happy to comply when I mentioned the fact that “this will save having to do one of those nasty “Random Thoughts” or such and such anytime in the near future.

So enjoy as I sit down with the person who has more fun than a barrel full of monkeys (and his old lady, she don’t care) bringing the fun to you every weekend

Give up? Wait no longer .

TAKE US HOME FLEA!

Hello there Flea and thanks for joining me!

FLEA: No problemo. My pleasure and feel free to ask anything you want. You have my undivided attention.

Good deal. First question – are you Hyatte?

FLEA: No, I am not. Many readers think there is some sort of “work” or conspiracy going on and I still get about three letters a week asking me to come off the charade and just admit I’m Hyatte. But no, I’m Flea. For better or worse.

Well count me in as someone who is a big fan of your work. You seem to be a little less “negative”, if that’s the proper word, about wrestling in general than most people who write on the web. What gives?

FLEA: I have been a fan for many, many years and have seen my fair of shit. What we are watching now is kind of stagnant but I try to maintain a positive outlook on things. One thing I do not do is base my opinions on angles or wrestlers on the “backstage rumors” that permeate all us “smart” fans. For example, I don’t like Stephanie’s character because she is annoying and shrill, not because she is “behind the scenes, taking control and booking things into the ground

But isn’t that what she is doing?

FLEA: The booking right now is boring, not horrible. Besides, according to all reports she is assisted by Paul Heyman. I thought the guy was a booking genius? At least that’s what he told us during his brainwashing years. He’s the same guy that let Justin Credible hold the top belt in his company when RVD was right there for all those years. For all you guys and gals complaining about the lack of main event level push for RVD, keep in mind that the Lord and Savior Paul E would not even give the guy his promotion’s World Championship.

My point is Steph can not be held totally accountable here. There has been a lack of direction for over a year now, even Linda McMahon mentions those things publicly in her quarterly reports conference call. I think they will get their ducks in a row, which is why I made the New Year’s Resolution to just sit back and enjoy until WMX8. Just let things play out.

Okay, let’s move along. What did you grow up watching and who are your favorites?

FLEA: I grew up on Florida Wrestling back in the late 70’s and early 80’s. Also Georgia Championship Wrestling. You name them, they were there. Dusty Rhodes was big time in those days and the Road Warriors were the nuts. Blackjack Mulligan ruled the earth as did Kevin Sullivan’s whole devil worship gimmick with the Purple Haze, etc. I went to the Eddie Graham Sports Complex more times than I can remember.

What about the WWF?

FLEA: That didn’t start until Hogan got big. I missed WMI but saw the next 3 on closed circuit. Hogan was never my favorite although I would still mark out for him. Piper was my main man. And Savage. The heels.

What about Flair?

FLEA: What else in there to say? The Man. My favorite at the time just because he was the coolest person walking the face of the Earth in those days. I never realized until I got older how great the guy was, ring work wise. But I always knew there was that something “extra” when you just know for some reason you are watching the best at their best.

What about the current wrestlers. Jericho, HHH, Benoit Austin, Bret, HBK

FLEA: Let’s go one by one. I call Jericho Some Other Guy because in the early days of their feud, Rock E. considered him second rate and made an off- handed comment that he was just “Some Other Guy”. It stuck. I think the guy is one of the best promo men around and love his work as a heel. It’s his in ring work I have a problem with. Sloppy and uninspired. I would be the biggest fan of his around if he could just give me classic matches instead of classic moments. And he can do it, I think. Jury is still out.

Benoit? No doubt he is the best “wrestler” around these days but I think he is way overrated by people who can’t see the forest through the trees. There is a reason that he is not on top right now: He can’t talk. Here is a guy that everyone complains about his “lack of push” but jeez after all these years the dude has never taken the time or put the effort into learning promo work, which is a big part of the business. Bret realized this. So did HBK. So do I ever feel sorry for the guy? Never. And for him to win the WCW belt and then bolt showed about a much class as him f*cking Nancy right in front of the Bookerman. You reap what you sow. He could have spent his whole rehab working with Arn (genius) or any other member of the Fed on his mic / promo work. Do you think he did it? Nope. I would love to channel his in ring work into Jericho, who has all the personality and promo skills. That would be a beautiful thing.

I do however feel sorry for Bret Hart. Not because of what happened because he brought a majority of it upon himself sometimes, but because he was a huge mark for the business and himself and it destroyed him. His work towards the end of his WWF run (feud with Austin, the split face/heel roles) was brilliant. I hope someday he comes back and gives us the angle to end all angles, which I know if he’s properly motivated will happen and be classic. And a pox on that idiot Goldberg for ruining the career of someone 100x times more talented than he is so unceremoniously. And curse to the sonofabitch that ever brings that asshole back into the wrestling biz.

You don’t like Goldberg?

FLEA: No. Let’s keep going. Who’s Next? Ha HA HA HA .eh

HBK?

FLEA: Now there is a guy I miss. My second favorite in ring performer of all time. Even better than Flair, just for the innovations and the high flying stuff. He always looked good and just had all the “right stuff”. What Jericho should aspire to be, in my opinion. Can’t he just watch tapes and copy that stuff? For christsakes, HHH stole everything in his arsenal from Flair and look what it did for him. HBK coming back would be the coolest of the cool, even though he can probably only punch and kick. But who cares, that’s the going style of performance nowadays.

You said HBK is second fave. Who’s #1?

FLEA: Cactus who else.

Please elaborate

FLEA: I remember watching Cactus in the early 90’s in WCW. He was just doing wild shit that no one else was doing then. And his matches had intensity, which is what I like in a match. You can save all the flippy flop shit, just give me some good, intense matches with innovative REALISTIC offense. His work in ECW was classic as was his early Mankind character. His matches with the UT were phenomenal and his match with HBK at Mind Games was just off the charts. Glad to see that match finally getting it’s props. But unfortunately Mick became a f*cking goof. All was forgiven with the Cactus Jack angle vs. HHH, which remains permanently fixed on my all time list of favorites. But now he has flipped out and quit, effectively biting the hand that feeds him. Although I hope it is some kind of angle; Cactus is hard not to like, but he is doing his best for me in that regards at the moment.

At the moment, Austin is the best in the business. His mic work / promos are second to none and he puts on the best in ring matches of anyone around. People may dispute that, but look at who has been involved in some of the best matches over the last year or so. HHH, Angle, Benoit, Rock. Their common opponent for Main Event matches? Austin. And every damn one of them was great. Intensity folks. I’m looking forward to his match with Hall. And don’t forget about Angle. Give the guy about 2 more years and he is gonna show you stuff you won’t believe. Da future, that boy is.

You’ve expressed you opinions on the n.W.o. in your news columns. Anything more you would like to add?

FLEA: Not really. I think their return is good for business but hope the Fed doesn’t leave them in the “cowardly heel” role. We have enough of those, thank you. They should be coming in and just beating the living shit out of everything in sight. I’m psyched for Hogan / Rock E. The Fed sure ain’t wasting time giving that one away, are they?

So how do you like having the opportunity to express these views on a website?

FLEA: I’m having a ton of fun. I think and have thought for a while that 411 is a great site. BOSS and Ashish do a great job putting together a top notch site, unlike other places in this Internet Wrestling Community. No names mentioned of course. But I’m sure if you think about it you know what I mean.

Do you realize you are, in effect, talking to yourself at the moment?

FLEA: That just sank in on that last sentence I typed.

Anyway, I have fun on the weekend with the two news reports and EXCESS.

How long have you been reading the net, wrestling content wise?

FLEA: Since about 93-94ish with RSPW. Herb Kunze. DEAN~! The old Wrestlemaniacs site was great as was Scoops. I’m a HUGE fan of CRZ’s work and, of course, really dug what Hyatte was doing back in those days. Another one of my favorites was a WCW writer at Scoops, Mike Michaelson. His positive outlook on WCW was a beautiful thing when around that time everyone started getting more and more negative. Not even sure if the guy is still around anywhere, but I think about his columns sometimes when I try to stay positive. So, Mike, if you are reading thanks!

The most fun and entertaining thing ever on the IWC was the NWWWO. If you were around back then you know what I am talking about. This beget the war of words between Hyatte and Sean Shannon, which beget sides being drawn and feelings being hurt to the point of breakdowns and the ultimate demise of the IWC to the point of where it is today. So f*cking childish but really f*cking entertaining. It was around this time that wrestling columns became forums for content non-wrestling related. Whether that’s a good thing or bad thing is up to the reader.

And of course the jollies never end with Dave and BOB pretty much running the show now. It’s a shame that Al Issacs went down in flames, he was the most talented of the three.

What about Meltzer and Keller?

FLEA: What about them? They have us wrapped around their fingers with the inside gossip, but do not have to worry about the fickleness of Web Advertising. The are pretty much there to advertise themselves. Everyone knows that. But those are two guys who have dedicated their lives to being about as “inside” you can be, without being on the payroll.

Going back to BOB? How did the whole Six Degrees of Ryder Fakin thing start? And / or your “career” in the IWC for that matter?

FLEA: Totally out of the blue. It’s seems for a long time now (especially over the last three years) that the IWC and the entire world for that matter revolves around BOB. It popped into my head one night and I emailed Hyatte, figuring he would get the joke. He liked it a published it in his news report. Then another, then another. Next thing I know Hyatte recommends me to Widro and I’m recapping EXCESS. Shortly after that I did Hyatte’s obit and am now doing the weekend news. Like I said I have a ton of fun. I get good feedback and people seem to enjoy what I put out there for their reading pleasure. I haven’t managed to push the “hate” button yet…

Like Eric S.

FLEA: Eric is one of a kind. I like his work and have for a long time. It seems the more bitter and hateful he gets the better I like his columns. Not to mention he is the King of Feedback and pretty much put the blueprint to said feedback in his news last week after I questioned him on it. I’m glad he decided to join 411, if only for the pleasure of watching people freak out but still read and write him, sometimes becoming fans. I don’t use that approach just because I look on the positive side of things. Curmudgeon is the word, I think. Him, not me.

What about the whole “smoking” issue?

FLEA: Oh there will be more of that, especially as we get closer to election. It was something I wrote off the top of my head just because I’m sick of these of these non-smoking pricks being a bunch of crybabies. If you don’t smoke that’s fine. We have a lot of non-smoking friends and when we have parties, they are always accommodated. Same as when we go out. It’s a matter of respect. I do not disrespect non- smokers and would expect the same treatment. They do have non-smoking sections, you know. If you go to a bar, you should expect a smoking section and if it bothers you that much, transfer to the non smoking side or don’t go. But Flea?, you say. Why should I have to put up with that? My answer? Smoking is banned in a majority of buildings except most bars and restaurants. I think we have plenty of room to compromise and coexist. Just don’t enact legislation telling me what I can and can’t do. I pay enough in taxes to have some semblance of freedom , I think.

Enough of that. I don’t want to alienate my readers.

Fair enough? Going back to the IWC, who do you like here at 411?

FLEA: Everyone does a great job here with their respective bodies of work. Except that burnout Art Martinez. Why the hell BOSS keeps someone around who does nothing but smoke pot and think up goofy shit oh wait. Guess I shouldn’t call that pot “kettle”. Or whatever. But the drunks around here have to get their act together. There is too much alcohol abuse at this site.

So what else interests you? How about the music scene? What’s your faves?

FLEA: Elvis. Elton John. Stones and Beatles, Grand Funk, Motown, and good old crying-in-your-beer old school country music. Wille, Waylon(RIP), George Jones, Hank Sr and Jr. and of course, Guns and Roses. Axl’s the best.

You don’t like anything, you know, more modern?

Not really. Kid Rock is cool just because of his versitality. One night he can be jamming with Aerosmith and the next at the Grand Ole Opry. But most of today’s music it pretty stale. It doesn’t “rock” as people keep telling me. Everytime someone tells me that I need to hear the latest Godsmack song because “they rock as hard as anyone ever!” I just go and play them “Saturday Night’s All Right for Fighting” or anything by Led Zep. Most see the light. It’s all a matter of taste really.

One song I never get tired of is that one by Pink. My kid listens to that constantly and I ALWAYS sing along with that one (IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M COMING UP SO YA BETTA GET THIS PARTY STARTED! IIIIIIIIII’MMMM COMING UP

I think you may be very close to alienating the other half of your readership.

Good point. One era of music that currently is back in my life is the 80’s. Desi, me and a majoity of our friends are children of that era and that seems to be playing everytime we have a party. Think Big Chill.

Huh?

FLEA: It was a movie about children of the 60’s rediscovering their youth and coming of age replace 60’s for 80’s

That’s it, the readers are gone .

FLEA: Don’t blame me, you’re the one with the questions.

Back to wrestling, where do you think they are going with this stuff?

FLEA; What stuff is that?

The current advancement of the WWF

FLEA: Oh. Hopefully towards a split promotion. I would like to see the developmental talent get some tv time, but the Fed is taking their time. Which ain’t a bad thing, look at how WCW steeped on their own dicks pushing the “not ready for prime time” players. Bad idea. Cruiserwight matches always make for good tv but you can’t count on them to carry a promotion. Fortunately the WWF has a deep enough talent pool to have proven main eventers to mix in with the up and comers. I think if we just sit back and be entertained we are about to go into a great era in Professional Wrestling.

You’re not concerned about the whole “backstage political holding the talent down..

FLEA: I think it’s 96.5% bullshit.

Why?

When the common fan watches wrestling they don’t concern themselves with “oh, Jeff Hardy just did the job for the Undertaker because UT rules the backstage area and is holding Jeff down” line of thought. Even the biggest mark in the world knows Jeff can’t beat UT. That’s why one of the dumbest arguments I have ever read here is the whole “HHH held Jeff Hardy down! Jeff should be given all these clean win over H and be pushed to the moon” Glass Ceiling!! HHH is evil!!! At the time I couldn’t believe people actually were serious about that. We are supposed to be the “smart” crowd, right?

So you do not buy into the whole “glass ceiling” theory?

FLEA: Well, there is a certain “hierarchy” no doubt. But it’s based on merit. HHH busted his ass to be in that position. UT and Austin too. Rock, etc. What has Jeff Hardy done? As far as the “glass ceiling” theory, at what point to you become a backstage menace? X-Pac is supposedly a little backstabbing prick, but I don’t see him wearing the unified belts. Angle could very easily be playing Jericho’s role at the moment but Vince and the boys are giving Jericho a chance to run with the ball so to speak. It his fault if he drops it

But they won’t book Jericho to win clean over these guys!

FLEA: He’s a chicken shit heel. They can’t book him as a “monster heel” like HHH because who in their right minds would think that Jericho could go toe to toe in a Street Fight with Cactus Jack? Or Hell in the Cell for that matter. At the time, I didn’t think H could pull it off, either. But he did, I became a huge fan of his. Jericho has his position right now and regardless of the way he is booked, he hasn’t stepped up to the plate and delivered match wise. I think Vince, JR, etc. will look at that more than they will anything else.

A chickenshit heel can be effective but the fans can tell when a guy just doesn’t have “it”. Angle does and the crowd recognizes that, especially during his matches. I think his match with Kane at WM will be right on the money. And I hope for the best for the H vs. Jericho match.

What about Hogan / Rock?

FLEA: I think this will be a classic along the lines of Hulk / Andre. 10 years from now you are not going to be talking about ***** workrate in regards to this match, but you will damn sure be talking about it. Hulk “passes the torch” with a clean 1,2,3. You heard that here first.

Well, Flea, we need to wrap things up. Any closing thoughts?

FLEA: Just want to thank everyone for reading and hope you enjoy what I bring to 411. Thanks to BOSS for everything. And if wrestling pisses you off to the point of all you want to do is bitch, please go to the nearest message board or website and tell everyone. Your opinion matters!

Thanks for joining me, Flea.

FLEA: No thank you. Would you like a drink?

You don’t have any beer on premises at the moment.

FLEA: How the f*ck would you know?

You idiot, YOU’RE the one doing this interview.

FLEA: Right on. I’ll run to the store.

* * * * * * *

Enjoy your week. See you next weekend.

Thanks for reading THE MONDAY EDITION, I’m Flea.