The Coliseum Video Rant VI


The Netcop Coliseum Video Rant Syxx

– This week it’s a trip back about 1989.


– Your hosts are Ax and Smash.

– Opening match: WWF tag team title match: Strike Force v. Demolition.

From Wrestlemania IV. I could watch this all day. Demolition was still

technically a heel team at this point, but everyone knew who the cooler

team was at this point. The pretty boys do a lot of quick tags and

armbars to start. But Tito gets caught in a bearhug and clotheslined

from the outside by Ax. Tito plays Ricardo Morton until nailing the

flying jalapeno on Ax. Crowd is pretty dead. Hot tag to Martel, who

gets the Boston Crab on Smash, but the ref is distracted with a pissed

off Santana. Ax whacks Martel with the cane, Marella is there for the

pin and the glorious 18 month reign of Demolition begins with one of the

biggest pops of the night. A mediocre match, but it’s still one of my

favorite moments. 1 for 1.

– Demolition v. Hart Foundation. From Summerslam 88. Another

reasonably pretty decent match between these teams. I did a full review

of this match in my Summerslam 88 rant, so I won’t go over it again.

Bret Hart is the lucky victim as they work on his arm a lot. Smash

misses a charge to the corner and Neidhart gets the hot tag and the

Harts destroy the Demos with their usual stuff, but Marella gets

distracted and Hart gets whacked with Jimmy Hart’s megaphone and pinned.

2 for 2.

– Demolition & team v. Powers of Pain & team. From Survivor Series 88.

Clipped to the end as we’re down to Demos & Conquistadors v. Bulldogs &

POP. This was an extremely long match by WWF standards (about 30

minutes) so I’m glad they clipped it. Bulldogs are the first gone after

Dynamite is clotheslined by Smash and pinned. Demolition is gone after

Mr. Fuji trips Smash with the cane and he falls out of the ring and gets

counted out. This marked the official Demolition face turn, as they

beat the crap out of their now-former manager. Then, to complete the

double turn, the Powers pick up Fuji and bring them to their corner,

turning them heel. Back in the ring and they quickly finish the

Conquistadors to win the match. Another memorable moment in history. 3

for 3.

– Demolition v. The Bolsheviks. This would be a dark match from a

Superstars taping in 1988. Demos double-team Volkoff to start. Some

boring stuff results as the Russians never really get into it. The

Demos finish it with the Decapitation. 3 for 4.

– Demolition v. Rhythm & Blues. Honky and Greg weren’t that official

team yet, but it’s easier to type that than “Greg Valentine & The Honky

Tonk Man”, even though I just did, so really the point is academic.

Ahem. This is from SNME in early 89. Honky gets destroyed by the

Demos. Watching him sell the double-team pounding is hilarious. But Ax

gets caught in the wrong corner for a bit and beat up by Valentine.

Smash gets the hot tag and Hebner gets bumped. They double-team Hammer

and sometime referee Ronnie Garvin runs in and disqualifies the heels

for no apparent reason. It was still a decent match. 4 for 5.

– Demolition v. The Brain Busters. From SNME. This is the match that

led to the title switch a couple of months later. As usual, the faces

wipe out the heels to start, no-selling everything. Ax destroys Tully,

who pulls out a Flair Flip in a cheeky segment. Tully goes over the top

and actually nails Heenan in the neck on the way down. Smash with a

bearhug on Tully, but Arn clips him to turn the tide. Spinebuster gets

two. Tully is a dick, strutting, taunting, and doing everything in his

power to get Ax to come into the ring so the Busters can double-team.

And of course it all works. Finally Ax goes nuts and comes in, and

tosses Marella, drawing a DQ. Still, a good match that set up a better

match. 5 for 6.

– Demolition v. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji. From Wrestlemania V.

Well, at least it’s short. Demos dominate to start, but Ax gets caught

and double-teamed. Powers are horrible by this point. Fuji tags in

when Ax has been beat down, of course. He goes to the top rope but

misses, and Smash gets the hot tag. Everyone gets some. Chaos ensues,

but Fuji’s salt toss misses and he gets nailed with Decapitation. Demos

retain. 5 for 7.

The Bottom Line: The Demos were an interesting team. Even after they

turned face, they kept wrestling as heels. Which is possibly why they

remained over. They’d fit in well today, I think. Anyway, if you’re a

new fan and you want to know who Demolition was and why everyone thought

they were so cool, this is a great introduction to them and overview of

their glory years — 1988-90.

Tape #2: The Best of the WWF #17.

– Opening match: Dino Bravo v. Ken Patera. Frenchy Martin rants en

francais before the match. This is pretty much the same as every other

Patera-Bravo match on WWF Challenge that year. Patera is horrible. But

then prison will do that to you. If Patera did his comeback today Jerry

Lawler would be making “drop the soap” jokes during his match. Bravo

controls most of the match, but Patera makes the superman comeback,

doing his usual weak offense. Double axe-handle off the second rope and

Patera goes for the full-nelson, but Martin is on the ring apron,

distracting Patera long enough to hit the sidewalk slam for the pin. 0

for 1.

– Big Bossman v. Sam Houston. Mucho stalling as the ref makes Bossman

take off his badge. This is pretty much right after Bossman’s debut.

Total squasharoo. I’d fast forward but I’m dubbing it. Houston with

some token offense to get the crowd back into it, but gets caught coming

off the top and powerslammed for the pin. 0 for 2.

– The coronation of King Haku. Harley Race had retired after a match

with Hulk Hogan, so Hennan needed a new king, which turned out to be

Haku for no particular reason. Vince and Jesse make “sitting on the

throne” jokes throughout the segment. 0 for 3.

– The Bolsheviks v. The British Bulldogs. You know it’s a Philly crowd

because they’re chanting “Volkoff sucks”, “You both suck” and “Russia

sucks”. It only lasts about two minutes, as Dynamite gets caught in the

corner and clotheslined by Volkoff for the pin out of nowhere. Weird.

0 for 4.

– The Rougeau Brothers v. The Rockers. Here we go! The Rougeaus were

in the preliminary stages of turning heel at this point. Jannetty plays

Ricky Morton, getting caught in the corner as the Rougeaus work on his

back. Nice move as Raymond drops Marty on Jacque’s knee. Marty gets

caught in an abdominal stretch, then a nice double-team dropkick->atomic

drop->splash segment. Jacques misses a move and Marty makes the hot

tag to Shawn. Pier-six brawl and Shawn gets the FLYING FIST OF DOOM!

for two. Back to the top, but Jacques pushes him onto the top rope and

Raymond pins him. Too short. 1 for 4.

– Honky Tonk Man v. Brutus Beefcake. “Peggy Sue” looks suspiciously

like Jimmy Hart here. Brutus has his girlfriend “Georgia”, who has a

green tongue and looks suspiciously like someone else. You can pretty

much infer that this will be a comedy match. Georgia has his doll

“Mine”, which is also in drag. Even the announcers are betting on a

comedy match. Georgia refuses to leave the ring and Honky waits around

outside until “she” leaves. Finally Honky jumps Brutus and we’re

underway. And of course it lasts about 2 seconds before Brutus proceeds

to wipe the mat with him in every way possible. Honky gets no offense

and gets hooked in the sleeper, but the megaphone and managers get

involved, Honky whacks Brutus with the megaphone, and gets the pin. 1

for 5. And to head off any exceedingly stupid questions that may

result, Georgia was George “The Animal” Steele.

– WWF tag title match: Demoltion v. Strike Force. As an addendum to

the Demolition video, we have another historic match. It was the

rematch from WM4, and it was the match that put Martel on the shelf for

a year, thus satisfying the legions of Strike Force haters. Demolition

was getting serious Steve Austin heat by this point. Santana plays

Ricardo Morton again, and again hits the flying jalapeno to stun Ax long

enough to make the hot tag. Martel is a house of fire, getting Ax in

the crab, but Smash quickly breaks it up. Martel goes tumbling out of

the ring, and Smash gets a chair and rams it right into Martel’s neck,

which probably is the injury right there, and then for the ultimate

humiliation Demolition does Decapitation on Martel from the apron to the

floor! Whoa! Martel is either SERIOUSLY injured or selling really

well. He didn’t reappear until WM5, so bet on the former. You know

what, though…it looked REALLY FUCKING COOL! It sounds terrible, but I

was young and markish at the time I first saw it. 2 for 6.

– Alleged main event: Hacksaw Duggan v. Andre the Giant. Lumberjack

match. You can just imagine how good this is. I’m glad the surgery was

a success so we can go back to making fun of him again. Kick, punch,

lumberjack spot, kick, punch, lumberjack spot. In case you’re a really

new reader, the point of a lumberjack match is that there’s 10 or 20

other wrestlers surrounding the ring, and their job to is toss the guys

back in if they leave the ring. Faces will be beaten up by heels and

helped by faces, and of course the opposite is true. Andre gets tied up

in the ropes as per his contract, but Duggan stupidly headbutts him

(HELLO?!?) and Andre takes the opportunity to untie one of the

turnbuckles. Duggan gets rammed to that a few times, but ducks a

headbutt and Andre hits it headfirst. Hacksaw with the THREE POINT

STANCE OF DOOM! and then nails Andre with the 2 x 4, but Andre rolls out

and destroys the lumberjacks who try to get him back in. Cute. Back in

the ring, Andre rams Duggan to the turnbuckle again, drops an elbow and

gets the pin. Bad, but not as bad as I expected. 2 for 7.

The Bottom Line: A decidedly mediocre tape. I wish that Demolition

match had been on the Demos tape rather than this one, but beggars and

choosers and all that. Not recommended.