So, I was reading in the USA Today on Tuesday that the Music Industry just doesn’t know what to do to combat flagging sales. Digital copying and piracy is killing them, they say. Of course, at least the author of the article had the decency to point out that the Music Industry is currently in sadder shape right now than it’s been in years. Never mind the fact that there hasn’t been a band with an original sound since Limp Bizkit came out with Three Dollar Bill, Y’all, and even they decided to turn retarded since then. Never mind the minor fact that the stuff MTV and Top 40 crams down our throats from day to day is interchangable. J Lo, Mandy Moore, Brittney what the hell is the difference. Never mind the fact that the stuff ROCK stations cram down our throat is interchangable now-a-days, too. Is there an unwritten bylaw in the music industry that says every new band to come out has to be a white rapper with metal music? Maybe the simple fact that people aren’t willing to shell out $20 for a CD with three good songs on it especially since they have the means to preview the whole thing before wasting good money. I, for one, have bought many CDs on the promise of one single, and the rest of the CD has proven to suck ridiculously. Now, I can avoid it. Let me shed a tear.
The music industry may as well get over digital piracy. It’s out there, and they will never again prevent it. They can make it illegal as they want on the Internet and all of us who know what we’re doing will go back to where we came from IRC. Napster didn’t do anything that people hadn’t already bee doing for years it just made it a whole lot easier and brought it into the mainstream. Maybe the music industry will learn and maybe start signing some bands or groups with actual, you know, talent.
Finally watched the series finale of the X-Files. I have to say, it was a decent way to send off the series but I’m kind of curious as to what happened to Dogget, Reyes, and Gibson at the end they just kind of fell off the radar and we didn’t pay any attention to them afterward. I don’t know if they ended the way they did to leave room to make some movies, or what but it didn’t tie anything up particularly well besides, the “Big Secret†being the world is going to end on 12/22/02 well, we all already knew that anyway, it’s just a matter of how.
Watched the Tyson/Lewis fight last night. Now everyone knows what I’ve been saying for years. Tyson isn’t what he used to be, and he’s far from the best heavyweight ever. Lewis knocked him around for 7/8 rounds before putting him out of his misery. Tyson can’t now, and never could, hang with people for any longer than three rounds. He was TOO good in his early career for his own good. If he can’t knock someone out quickly, he doesn’t win. He bit Holyfield because Holyfield was knocking him around. Lewis did the same thing and that’s why I walked out of the fight last night with $40 from two different people. I read something about Tyson before 1-3, unbelievable 4-6, really good after 7 ordinary. That’s Tyson by rounds.
Now, I’m ready for Lewis/Holyfield. THAT will be a good fight.
I was also a little bummed to not get pimped by Eric S last week. THOUGHT WE WAS FRIENDS!!!!
And a “Welcome Back†to Hyatte, who doesn’t appear to hate all my stuff anymore!!
Raw
Started with an interview with Ric Flair, Benoit, and Guerrero. Benoit is supposedly an offical Raw guy now you’d think they’d have some sort of reasoning as to why. I suppose I’ll give them time. The long and short of it saw Austin pissing on Arn Anderson, because they left him with no security guards. Somehow, this is supposed to make Austin happy. That concernes me.
Bradshaw is the new hardcore champion.
The King of the Ring qualifying matches were going on even though I haven’t seen any brackets yet, so I’m not sure what winners face who in the next round. X-Pac moved on against Goldust in a move that probably didn’t surpise anyone. Funny visual saw Goldust giving Pac the broncobuster. Goldust still rules. Booker T again had the funniest lines of the week when he called X-Pac a “Ratty lil sucka†and later, in his KOTR qualifying match he asked Regal if he could dig ‘dat and then left and then came back 10 seconds later and said “SUCKAAAAAA†all the way across the screen. The WWF should have Booker-vision in the corner of the screen at all times. Anytime something is going slow, have a little picture of Booker where the WWF logo is in the corner with him just staring at his hand, nodding his head, and doing spinaroonies. Ratings . SKYROCKET!!
By the way Goldust’s character may be old, but dammit, they’re doing a good job making him funny and interesting. I enjoy him nearly as much as Booker.
Flair and Austin’s contract was drawn up in the back by Flair’s lawyer. Austin just signed without reading it. Later we find out that there’s a stipulation where the loser becomes the winner’s personal assistant for some inordinate amount of time thus sealing Austin’s victory. Besides, it’s only Ric Flair Austin couldn’t possibly lose.
This week’s goal on Raw was, apparently, to gross as many people out as possible, easily erasing the visual of Arn getting pissed on by Tommy Dreamer puking in a bucket. Later, he brings it out to the ring, assuring us all that it will be used later in the match. Sure enough, shades of the Godwinns, Undertaker dumps the “bucket o puke†on Tommy and then ends up landing in it when Jeff Hardy comes out and dropkicks him into it. And the mid-card destruction will continue next week as Jeff is murdered by the Undertaker. I don’t quite know where they’re going with this, other than the fact they don’t have anything else for the Undertaker to do, other than kill people who shouldn’t be getting title shots like Tommy Dreamer and Randy Orton. Of course, the match against Jeff should, at the very least, be pretty exciting.
Kevin Nash comes to the ring for his big announcement. You’d think a guy who makes as much as Nash could get a better dye job I mean, it looks like chunks of dye were stuck in his hair. Nash let the crowd know that most of the time, “big announcements†don’t usually live up to expectation. This time though, he has Shawn F’N Micheals. Shawn comes out and just poses for a while they hold off on his opening promo until next week.
Well, the nWo is officially over even if Shawn never wrestles another match. This is all they had to do to “pop†that rating and they didn’t even need Bill “The Overpriced Diva†Goldberg. This week, people will tune in. Now, just give them a reason to tune in the following week. I have to say I felt somewhat gay when the music hit and the H B K popped up on the Titan Tron. I got chills.
And, in no big surprise, Austin beat Flair. Flair now becomes Austin’s personal assistant.
Smackdown
Show started with a Battle Royal with 16 guys already in the ring then we moved on to the introductions of the four guys who might possibly win, that being Hogan, Jericho, Angle, and HHH. HHH and Hogan went out of the ring at the same time to end it the announcers insisted that there was no conclusive camera angle, even though one of the camera angles clearly show a camera guy standing right there. Ah well, the whole battle royal was an excuse to set up the main event of the evening that being HHH vs HHH.
Angle and Bob Holly had a match apparently Bob is still hoppin mad about having his arm shattered Two years ago. This match would have made tremendous sense when Holly first came back now it’s meaningless. Regardless, they did have a nice little match together.
Billy and Chuck won the tag titles back. Now they can move on to all the OTHER teams on Smackdown. Um right.
Hurricane’s stalker was revealed to be none other than Nidia! Who then proceeded to sick her new boyfriend, Jamie Knoble, on him. Sweet new cruiserweight the Texan who pretended to be Asian for a year.
Val Venis beat Christian in a KOTR qualifier. Seem to be just about done with Christian now, too. Why Val is getting pushed again, I don’t know. He seems to be one of those pet projects, like Billy Gunn. I don’t know why they waste their time with guys who don’t work, when they got guys like Sean O’Haire being wasted in the developmental territories. I guess they need their talent thouroughly brainwashed, so they forget they were ever trained in the Powerplant.
Torrie visits Maven in the hospital. Apparently, they don’t want him out of sight while he’s out. Torrie gives a suggestive pose with a banana, and I find it necessary to pause the tape then rewind it then pause it then rewind it. After I’d successfully finished, I watch the rest of the segment. Sometimes I wonder if Torrie knows what is going on around her.
Dawn Marie now wants Vince, too. Ah, must be nice to be able to book chicks into wanting you. How fun would that be in real life? “Yeah, you two are going to feud over me then I’m just going to choose both of you and have mad threesomes.â€Â
Lance Storm had a match with Kidman which was, surprisingly, not a KOTR qualifier. Bah, who needs guys like these in the tournament anyway? You know, new faces with talent? We don’t need them. Let’s just leave them in the midcard.
HHH beat HHH and a posedown ensued. I’m tired of all the HHH respect garbage. TAKE PEOPLE OUT WITH SLEDGEHAMMERS, DAMMIT. Also, I want to purchase the HHH Wife Beater it’s super cool. The segment ended with Angle and Undertaker making the HHHs there bitches.
The Week in Wrestling
The second week of wrestling that I’ve really enjoyed. Shawn Michaels, great matches, and Raw actually holding onto some storylines and moving them from week to week. I’ve been reading on some things that people think Smackdown is the better show and I tend to disagree. I think RAW has been the more solid, interesting show but that’s just one dude’s opinion.
I’m actually looking forward to watching tomorrow for the first time in a while mainly because it looks like they can go all sorts of good places with Michaels in the nWo. Over on Smackdown, I just wait for them to do something with Kidman and Storm and all the other guys who are just sitting around over there.
Sorry for the lack of humor and overall poor quality of the column this week. Other things on my mind. Hopefully I’ll be back up to speed next week.
Till then.
End Transmission
