The SmarK Retro Repost – In Your House: Revenge Of The Taker

– On Monday night, Bret Hart said he beat Steve Austin every time they met. Not true.

– Live from Rochester, New York.

– Your hosts are Jim Ross, Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.

– Free For All: The Sultan v. Flash Funk. The Sultan is hot off jobbing to Rocky at WM13, and Flash is hot off jobbing to Billy Gunn. Flash still has the Funkettes, demonstrating that he’s two years before his time. The match is nothing, as they trade some stuff and then Flash tries a rana off the top, but gets it blocked into a powerbomb for the pin. * for a couple of nice spots, but no wrestling to speak of.

– Another great Freddy Blassie promo starts us out.

– Opening match, WWF tag team title: Owen Hart & Davey Boy Smith v. The Legion of Doom. The Harts are fresh off rejoining with Bret Hart (and not earning many fans in the US by doing so) and the LOD are…well…the LOD. Animal controls Owen with some power stuff to start. The champs take over, and Hawk no-sells a bunch. Then Owen gets beat up by the LOD. Then Hawk gets beat up by the champs. It’s all as exciting as it sounds. A heel miscommunication spot leads to the hot tag, and Animal hits a powerslam off the top rope…for the pin! The LOD regains the tag titles and…oh, wait. Here’s another referee, pointing out that the wrong man was pinned, so the match continues. Hey, the ending sucks already and we’re not even done yet. Okay, we’re on again, and Animal is getting double-teamed by the heels. Owen misses a splash off the top rope and Hawk gets the hot tag. Doomsday Device, but Bret Hart runs in for the DQ. Okay, that sucked. *1/2 for the whole mess.

– Intercontinental title match: Rocky Maivia v. Savio Vega. Rocky attacks early with a couple of ARMDRAGS OF DOOM and Faaarrrrrooooqqqq (is that spelling right?) joins us for racist commentary. Rocky contiues working on the arm. Savio takes over with a leg lariat and a VULCAN NERVE PINCH OF DEATH! FFFFFFffaarrroooqqqqq challenges Ahmed Johnson to a match for the *next* PPV. More devastating restholds and choking from Savio, thrilling the crowd. Rocky hits a fisherman’s suplex for two, but Savio retaliates with a superkick. Rocky hits the hurricane DDT out of nowhere and gets two. Rocky makes the superman comeback. Rock Bottom only gets two. Savio tosses him to the floor, nailing Crush in the process, so Crush gives him the heart punch for the countout. Lame match with a dumb ending. 1/2* The Rocky angle was mercifully killed a couple of weeks later as Owen Hart won the IC title on a RAW. The Nation does a big beatdown on future leader Rocky, but Ahmed Johnson makes the save.

– Dok interviews Marc Mero and Sable, and in the background Steve Austin goes into the bathroom. Suddenly, you hear a bunch of yelling and screaming, and Davey Boy Smith emerges with a length of steel, bent at the middle. He does a HILARIOUS double-take upon seeing the camera, and Owen follows, shoots another hilarious look at the camera, and they run off. Funny stuff.

– “Double J” Jesse Jammes v. The Honky Tonk Man’s protege. Yes, HTM spent months hyping his newest find, and we get…Rockabilly Gunn. Oh you didn’t know that this match sucked? Your ass better call somebody! Honky does a quick interview to explain the nonsensical Gunn turn. The crowd is just gone, not caring a whit about either guy. Astonishingly, Gunn and Jammes would be tag champions by the end of the year, and the most over tag team in WWF history within another 6 months. Rockabilly gets a two off a Rocker Dropper. This match made the Netcop Busts compilation for sheer historical value of the stupidity. Massive stalling and showboating from both guys here. Jesse makes the big comeback with a bunch of punches. Rockabilly goes for a suplex and Jammes reverses to a small package for the pin. An awful match with an ending that made zero sense of several levels. On the bright side, it sewed the seeds for the New Age Outlaws. DUD

– ECW’s Lance Wright interviews the Hart Foundation about the Steve Austin attack.

– Really weird promo for the title match.

– WWF World title match: The Undertaker v. Mankind. What is with Mick main eventing the show after Wrestlemania, anyway? First here, then Unforgiven, then Backlash (before his injury changed that). Mick threw a fireball at UT to set this up. Of course, the stuff that UT ended up doing in later years makes that look pretty tame by comparison. Vince notes how strange “WWF champion Mankind” would sound. Heh, just wait. They brawl outside the ring, with Mankind taking a couple of decent bumps. UT continues the punishment with his ropewalking clothesline. Paul Bearer distracts the ref and Mankind nails UT with the urn for a two. Mankind takes control with a devastating nerve hold. They fight outside the ring again and Mankind whacks him with a pitcher of water. He drops an elbow from the second rope to the floor on Undertaker. Nasty. Back in the ring with a piledriver for two. Jerry Lawler asks Vince what the WWF suits would think of WWF champion Mankind, and Vince replies that “I’m sure they’ll find some way to market it”. Socko, anyone? Ref gets bumped and Mankind applies the Mandible Claw. Another ref runs in and gets Clawed. Fat Paul throws in a chair, but Mankind prefers a larger weapon and bring in the stairs. UT dropkicks it back in his face, then just kills him with a chairshot. Mankind gets tied in the ropes, losing his mask, and then takes the bump of the year (well, until Badd Blood), as UT rams the stairs into his head, and he flies off the apron, into the Spanish table, head-first. Ouch. Back in the ring, a chokeslam gets two and the tombstone gets three. Wild match. ***1/2 After the match, UT beats up Bearer while Mankind struggles to light a fireball. UT grabs it from him and fumbles with it some more, finally setting it off in Bearer’s face. This would be the angle that causes Bearer to change his hair color and eventually introduce the world to….Kane.

– Steve Austin v. Bret Hart. Slugfest to start. Austin quickly gets control and nails Bret with an axehandle off the apron to the floor. Bret to the stairs. Austin mocks Hart in the ring, then tosses him to the stairs again. He tosses Bret over the railing, into the crowd, then hits an axehandle off the railing. Bret is bumping like mad here. Back in the ring and Austin with a “f*ck you elbow” for two. Bret grabs a chair it backfires, as Austin takes it from him. Ref gets bumped and Hart smashes the chair into Austin’s knee a few times. Vince talks about Bret’s ego. Bret hooks the ringpost figure-four, then smashes a chair into Austin’s knee a few times. Austin’s knee is gone. Austin comes back with a series of elbows, but Bret simply kicks him in the knee to retake control. He rips off Steve’s faithful knee brace and works on the knee some more. Back in the ring and Austin with a low blow to counter. Dammit, that could cause a serious GROIN injury, the likes of which we’ve never seen before! Ahem. Austin chokes out Bret with his tape. The Fuck You Elbow misses and Austin lands on his knee. Bret, of course, goes back to it. Bret hits a figure-four. Austin reverses and they fight outside the ring again. Austin drops Bret on the railing and clotheslines him from the apron to the floor. Back in the ring and Austin with the CROSS CORNER WHIP OF DEATH. Bret should do that bump in every match. It gets two. Austin tries a piledriver but his leg gives out. Bret goes back to the knee. Austin drops him facefirst on the top turnbuckle for two. He goes for the Stunner but Bret makes the ropes. Bret with his own low blow. Bret with the superplex. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter, and Austin grabs his wayward knee brace and whacks Bret with it, allowing him to reverse to his own Sharpshooter! But then Owen and Davey Boy run in. Austin breaks the move, chases them off, and tries the Sharpshooter again, but Davey Boy smacks Austin with a chair for the DQ. **** Huge brawl breaks out and Austin fights them off. The next night on RAW, all hell would break loose, triggering the biggest feud of the year.

The Bottom Line:

Sure, the first portion sucked, but for a two hour show you can’t complain too loudly about the co-main events. Many people on RSPW called this one of the worst shows of all time, but it’s not even close. Definitely worth the rental to check it out a couple of years later for the good matches and interesting history.

Very mildly recommended.