The SmarK Retro Repost – In Your House III: Triple Header

The Netcop Retro Rant for In Your House III: Triple Header.

– Live from Saginaw Michigan.

– Your hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler and Mr. McMahon.

– Opening match: Savio Vega v. Waylon Mercy. Waylon is Danny Spivey

with a black dye job, knowaddimean? Waylon was a very high-concept

gimmick that got over big on RSPW but failed due to injuries on the part

of Spivey. The idea is that Mr. Mercy is an Forrest Gump-like idiot

savant from Georgia who dresses like ECW’s Hat Guy and believes himself

to be a face but wrestles like a heel. This is pretty cerebral stuff

for 1995. This is Mercy’s one and only PPV appearance. This match is

slow and plodding, to say the least. Savio sucks less than others who

could have been stuck in there, I’ll give him that much. Very sloppy

brainbuster from Spivey provides for a scary moment. Savio with the

spinning heel kick for the surprise upset. *1/2 This made zero sense

at the time, but since Mercy was leaving anyway I can understand why

they did it.

– Sycho Sid (w/ Ted Dibiase) v. Henry Godwinn. There was no Phineas at

this time — HOG was just a JTTS with a bad gimmick. He turned face

after refusing a spot in the Corporation, so Dibiase sicked Sid on him.

Sid was seriously dogging it by this point, and was fired in December

(then re-hired after softball season the next year). This match sucks,

of course. HOG with the Slop Drop (Scorpion Deathdrop), but Dibiase

pulls him off. Another exchange, and Dibiase trips him this time.

Legdrop, powerbomb, say goodnight Henry. 1/2* Bam Bam Bigelow attacks

Henry, but Kama comes out to make it a 2-on-1 for the Corporation, then

Henry slops Dibiase when he’s not looking. 1995 was such a wretched

year for the WWF.

– Gorilla Monsoon argues with Jim Cornette because Owen Hart has yet to

show up, despite being in the main event.

– The British Bulldog v. Bam Bam Bigelow. Bulldog had just recently

turned heel and joined Camp Cornette. Sloppy match, as Bigelow knows

he’s bound to be canned any day now and just goes through the motions.

Bammer’s big headbutt only gets a two-count, which is the kiss of death

for any babyface — when your finisher doesn’t work, it’s time to pack

it in. They spend the entire match hyping Bulldog v. Undertaker on RAW

the next night. Kiss of death #2 — when your opponent is scheduled for

a bigger match on RAW, it’s time to pack it in. Bulldog works on the

arm until finally I just FF and get it over with. I stop when Bigelow

regains the advantage, but misses the Lunasault. Bulldog whips Bam Bam

to the corner, powerslam, see ya. Bam Bam’s last appearance of note in

the WWF. *

– Ad for Wrestlemania: The Special, just to rub salt in Bam Bam’s

wounds.

– Mr. Bob Backlund waddles down to ringside to introduce…

– Dean Douglas v. Razor Ramon. These guys hate each other’s guts in

real life, although the real nasty stuff didn’t start until In Your

House IV. Pretty good to start, with some awkward pauses because

Douglas is a talentless hack deep down. Hall’s dazzling array of

armbars don’t help, either. Douglas must have suffered some pretty

crippling injuries in his later ECW tenure because he looks fit as a

fiddle here. One of my major complaints about Douglas — he’s a very

generic wrestler, with no real “mark out” moves that distinguish him

from the pack. I think Val Venis is having the same problem. Ramon

comeback and he does his usual spots. Ref bumped. Ramon with the

Razor’s Edge, but 1-2-3 X-Pac runs in and counts the pin, which of

course means nothing. Ramon is fooled into breaking the pin, however,

which gives Douglas the chance to roll him up for the real pin. Not

bad, even with the cheap ending. **3/4 The Ramon-Kid feud was one of

the few highlights of 1995.

– Dok interviews Shawn & Diesel.

– Jean-Pierre Lafitte v. Bret Hart. You may know Lafitte as the fat

Quebecer. Lafitte was doing Chris Jericho’s “trophy” gimmick, and stole

Bret Hart’s prized jacket to set this up. For some reason, Vince felt

the need to stick Bret in there with every two-bit newcomer in an

attempt to make them look good with help from Bret. Ask yourself what

Hakushi, Isaac Yankem and Jean-Pierre Lafitte are doing these days and

wonder whether it worked or not. A thorougly decent match to start,

even without Bret carrying it. Lafitte does look green in places. Too

long of a resthold in the middle. Lafitte hits a top rope legdrop but

misses a Cannonball. Bret comeback, Lafitte blocks the Sharpshooter and

shoves him outside, but misses a somersault plancha. This guy is having

no luck. Back in the ring, and it’s Bret’s Same Five Moves. Lafitte

blocks the elbowdrop, however and does some more cool stuff. This match

just keeps getting better by the second, and the finishing sequence is

like three minutes long! Bret crotches himself on the ropes, but

Lafitte misses *another* big move. Double clothesline, but Bret wiggles

into position for the Sharpshooter and Lafitte is too gone to stop him

and submits. A terrific ending and a great match. **** Bret reclaims

the jacket by way of victory.

– Cornette offially designates British Bulldog as Owen Hart’s

replacement. This was just begging for a screwjob and everyone knew it.

– Main event: WWF Tag titles v. WWF title/Intercontinental title,

Yokozuna & British Bulldog v. Diesel & Shawn Michaels. The concept here

is simple: He who is pinned loses his title. Superhot opening sequence

thanks to Shawn, but Yoko gets in and kills it. Totally. Yoko

restholds abound until Shawn makes the hot tag to Diesel, who

obliterates Bulldog. Then a pier-six brawl and Bulldog gets creamed

again. Owen Hart suddenly runs out and launches himself off the top

rope, but Diesel catches him coming down, jackknifes him, and pins

him??? New champions. *1/4 This WCW-like boneheaded booking decision

would be overturned hours later on RAW. Shawn & Diesel were credited

with a title reign here, however.

– The Bottom Line: Eh. Like most of 1995 for the WWF, there was no

direction here and nothing that happened affected anything else. To put

it in perspective, the booking was a combination of Bill Watts and the

Clique, and various politics meant that nothing really clicked, except

for the stuff with Shawn, Diesel, Ramon and the Kid. (Gee, I wonder

why). Watts was never suited for the WWF, which is why he was turfed

out as fast as he was.

Basically the whole year was a writeoff and this is just another example

of that. I didn’t actively hate the show (Douglas-Ramon and

Hart-Lafitte saved it quite nicely) but it didn’t really make an

impression on me one way or the other. Neutral feelings.