The Saturday Matinee News Report 08.03.02

Hello again. Did you miss me? I, for one, missed Saturdays and I am glad I can join you once again to start your weekend off quite rightly. I’m Flea. I gave up weekends to spend my summer not doing things like the words you are about to read, but, to make a long story short, my weekends got shot to hell. So when Hashish came a-calling, I said “why not” and here we go with another case of “there you are”

So this new thing is called The Saturday Matinee, as Hashish and I came to an agreement that it would be turned in by 10am Saturday morning instead of Saturday at 10pm. As far as I know, at this point BOSS was not contacted, but I’m sure he will happy to know that I am back on staff full time. Oh how I love my spiked– who knows what color it is this week- haired BOSS. And Hashish too, because he actually TALKS to me now! How many of YOU can say that!

Let’s get to it .

TOP STORY

RAW 3.7 Smackdown 3.1 I guess that means that the whole wrestling business is in the crapper and we should all give up

BUT WAIT! Those were some two of the best shows all year and bring the Fed’s total count of good shows up to FIVE, counting the PPV. Which brings me back to my point I have been saying since forever – I don’t give two shits if the ratings suck, just give me some good TV. Some of you may remember, some of you may not, but some of the Fed’s best TV was when their ratings were around the same level as typed above. Austin was just coming into his own, Bret was cussing the USA and sucking up to Canada, Rock –E was hated, DX was all over the place and Cactus/Mankind was 2 years away from becoming a f*cking goof. Good TV. As it is now. Now all we need is for the unwashed masses to tune in and give us that 5.0 rating so everyone can shut the f*ck up.

Smackdown was the best show of the Fed’s I’ve seen in a long time. From open to close, 2 hours of fun and la di da di dah. From Rey / Tajiri to Benoit/ Eddie vs. Rock – E / Edge, the show rocked and I’m glad. Not that I’m happy that the Fed turned out a good show, but glad the ratings are still in the toilet. A drop in the ratings means the Fed will hopefully realize that they are on to something and no one else has caught up to yet. At least that’s what I’M thinking. Of course, they could be desperate and throw the last fours weeks aside and start anew but I hope not. With Cena and Rico, I saw the future, with Rey and Tajiri I saw some promise, with Rock-E and Benoit and Lesnar , I saw a feud building and with Angle and Hogan I saw confirmation that Angle is, in fact, a prodigy and should just embalm the belt on his waist and beat EVEYONE that comes his way until Wrestlemania. Then lose it to Austin, just cause that’s what’s gonna happen.

So, don’t get discouraged if you see a low rating or read that these shows suck. They don’t. What would be the worst thing that could happen is that the Fed listens to all the harping and gets giddy again. They are down to the point where the next phase is turn the book over to Paul-E, who would leave the IC Belt on Benoit, give the tag belts to The Dudleys (Dvon and Bubba), give the Hardcore belt to Rhyno and reinvent the Television Belt for RVD. That sounds good doesn’t it?

What happens when Paul –E puts the World Title on Justin Credible?

THIS IS EXTREME(ly) how you should not fantasy book, but just enjoy good TV while it’s available.

HEADLINES

How do you spell NWA-TNA?..like this- F.L.E.A. s.u.r.e. a.s. h.e.l.l. a.i.n.t. b.u.y.i.n.g. i.t. n.o. m.o.r.e. Aw man, did these guys let me down. I truly enjoyed the first five weeks but have been ripped off the last few. Why? Because it turned into a dog and pony show, complete with an attempt to bury one of my idols (Dragon) and promote something that I don’t even know how to relate to – a f*cking midget with a gun! Do you know what you call a midget with a gun? A MIDGET!. Of all the times in the world that life calls out for “DON’T SELL THAT SHIT”, it should have been Double J when Jerkoff the Dwarf got his GAT on. And you have reputable folks out there calling this a crime against humanity. The only crime was the NWA –TNA should have showed up at my door with a mask and a gun (sans midget) and HELD ME UP for my ten bucks, cause they robbed me. Speaking of which, I think I’ll incite some flame mail here

The X division has turned into a load of crap. Sure, it was nice to see a few matches (which I enjoyed) but damn would one of these guys please sell a f*cking move now and then? I suspend disbelief as much as possible (and almost to a fault) but LORD how the f*ck do you do seventeen different finishing moves and still have the guy kick out in two? Didja all see Rey vs. Tajiri? When Rey pulled off that bitchin Frankensteiner from the top rope and dropped Tajiri on his HEAD, you just KNEW the Jap wasn’t getting up. That never happens in the X-Division. They seem to two count your ass to death to the point that when the pinfall FINALLY occurs, I’m glad the match is over. Now, I’ve been to my share of Indy shows and although I ain’t an expert like some folks, these ***** classics don’t seem so classic when they are filmed for posterity. In other words, when there are more than 125 people watching, the stars seem to fall like a drunk down a flight of stairs – quick. Which may be why ain’t none of them guys are currently working for the Fed. I think Foley said it best: Austin is (was) on the cover of TV Guide instead of some lucha for a reason. I may (did) paraphrase that but the point is .umm .it wouldn’t kill these guys to quit what they are doing and sell a move every once in awhile.

In lighter news (as in damn, I can’t find my lighter and I need a cigarette found it and trust me that wasn’t an attempt at humor, because I ain’t funny. Flea vs. no cigarette = hell, I don’t know, I always have one available) the PTC has published their list of “shows that offend and therefore will lead to the downfall of civilization as we know it” once again..and here we go

Fuck it I don’t do Top Ten lists. But in case you didn’t read, the PTC came down hard on the Osbournes, some other shit, RAW and MTV in general. Never mind the fact that Vince just won a lawsuit against the PTC, armchair lawyers out there are saying that the PTC has the RIGHT to say that RAW IS PORN, seeing as we have free speech in this country. Which gets me to thinking – how creepy did the PTC have to be to get fined THREE MILLION SMACKAROOS? Eh, who cares .20 years from now rasslin will still be around and there will still be uptight pricks that will tell the viewing public that they will go STRAIGHT TO HELL if they watch one more second .

Wanna take a flashback?

The Year was 1992. Guns and Roses had just released their much-anticipated follow-up to Appetite for Destruction. And no, GNR Lies does NOT count cause half of it was released years before (pack your bags and move to the cit-tay). Nope, I’m talking about Use Your Illusion I and II, which I already had, but the 16 year old sister of the girl I was dating at the time (f*ck am I old) worshipped Axl and wanted needed had to HAVE this album and therefore offered me anything in the world if I would take her $15 bucks and go buy the new GNR record for her

My immediate response was “why the f*ck don’t you buy it yourself” until I started thinking about this nubile 16 year old, my girlfriend and me all together with some .SODAS AND SOME PIZZA watching a MOVIE!!!!! Cause 411 is SAFE AND FRIENDLY AND SAFE AND GOOD FOR YOUR CHILD TO READ

So she said back to me “Because them motherf*cking f*ckers at the f*cking store won’t sell that f*cking album to me because I am f*cking underage!”

Needless to say I was shocked not at her blatant destruction of the English language (chick only used FIVE f*cks in one statement entry level was THREE FUCKS back then and that was just to tell you the time) but the fact that she had to be EIGHTEEN to buy the album cause of the warning sticker attached by the PMRC (Parents Music Something or Other) that labeled AXL and the Gang OBSCENE!

The PMRC was a forerunner to the current PTC and, if you don’t didn’t know, the PMRC was headed by Tipper Gore, the wife of Al Gore, the man that was ALMOST elected President of our great nation.

God Bless Florida and yes, the fix was in .

Speaking of pre-determined outcomes, why don’t we get back to wrestling and see what JR is up to

THE ROSS SAYS THIS

In the latest Ross Report, Good Ol’ continues to be a hoot. Hey, he opened the door wide open a long time ago for us chumps to “read between the lines, BY GAWD, and I’ll be damned if I ain’t gonna. His latest views on the cutbacks are “Blame Danny Davis and Jim Cornette we are trying to accommodate all possible up and coming talent as well as picking the brains of Kurt and Brock for the new up and comers” or something. Les Thatcher is taking this as well as someone who is now no longer under the Fed’s umbrella vis a vis(?), he is bending over quite rightly. Long story short, HWA is closed and too bad for Mike Sanders.

By the way, if you are one of the people that reported that there is heat between JR / King and Tazz / Cole, then you SUCK. There ain’t none and will be more of the same ain’t none. Anti-kayfabe is what sucks, especially oh well

JR drops in a line about HBK not being “ready” which leads me ask this – f*cking Cactus came back from who knows how many injuries and still finished his career on a high note (never even mind WM2K) you think HBK can’t drag a “punch/kick” match out his dilapidated self?

Who knew that Rene Goulet was 70 f*cking years old? That means aw shit I’M OLD. And HEY! Good Ol is coming to Florida to hang with Gene Mean, work on his new cookbook and have a frosty beverage. With Desi out of town, they are more than welcome here, especially if the Fed is buying the booze. Of course, if either one of them gets loaded, does a belly flop in my pool and ruins Desi’s plants, there will be some OLD COOT BEATING but they are still more than welcome, just behave.

Damn it’s been awhile since I have done this and forgot that JR’s last page is just like Scherer’s – ain’t a damn thing there. Cept BOOMER SOONER and we know what that means .see you Okie’s in the ORANGE BOWL, cause your playing for 5th place. Hicks.

RADIO GA GA

Many of today’s wrestlers choose to express their opinions and gripes on various radio programs, be it the standard AM/FM stations or the up and coming Internet talk shows. Here is a run down on who said what

This is gonna have to wait but Greg “The Hammer” said some good stuff, The Real REAL Double J (TRRDJ) had some words towards the people that f*cked him and some positive news about the future. I have two words for him .BACKGROUND CHECK. Who the f*ck hires someone without running a background check, much less an investigative search into the possible employees job history. Some folks is just asking for trouble.

IN OTHER WORDS

Now available on 411

E.C did a Mind Squeezin, BOSS brings you TNA, and I ain’t saying no more because bad mouthing other writers is nom de plume shit that ain’t the Latin word I was going for Havre de Grace nope, that is a shitbag town in Maryland let’s go with OFF LIMITS~!

Except for Pat Fucking Brower, who can flaunt that teaser all he wants but oh, I love him too. But I ain’t linking this because he does Velocity and it ain’t on yet. But go read it when it’s available. By the way, Hashish or BOSS links these things, so don’t damn me.

And in case you didn’t know, KEN ANDERSON (don’t link the f*cker, this is personal and like eleven people have already plugged him) KEN ANDERSON is well not God or nothing, but he is definitely on the same scale as Cuarenta y Tres, non filtered Camels and KFC. The only higher compliment would be he is sexier than Desi, but he ain’t cause he’s a dude and I ain’t no homo.

PAGE SIX

Well, it’s nice to be back in the saddle for Saturdays. To leave you this week, I will give you a look at the most pretentious, egotistical item I have ever published. Not to mention, it will serve as a good primer to those of you that only know me as “that dude that Hyatte always mentions”. So without further ado

TAKE US HOME FLEA!

Hello there Flea and thanks for joining me!

FLEA: No problemo. My pleasure and feel free to ask anything you want. You have my undivided attention.

Good deal. First question – are you Hyatte?

FLEA: No, I am not. Many readers think there is some sort of “work” or conspiracy going on and I still get about three letters a week asking me to come off the charade and just admit I’m Hyatte. But no, I’m Flea. For better or worse.

Well count me in as someone who is a big fan of your work. You seem to be a little less “negative”, if that’s the proper word, about wrestling in general than most people who write on the web. What gives?

FLEA: I have been a fan for many, many years and have seen my fair of shit. What we are watching now is kind of stagnant but I try to maintain a positive outlook on things. One thing I do not do is base my opinions on angles or wrestlers on the “backstage rumors” that permeate all us “smart” fans. For example, I don’t like Stephanie’s character because she is annoying and shrill, not because she is “behind the scenes, taking control and booking things into the ground

But isn’t that what she is doing?

FLEA: The booking right now is boring, not horrible. Besides, according to all reports she is assisted by Paul Heyman. I thought the guy was a booking genius? At least that’s what he told us during his brainwashing years. He’s the same guy that let Justin Credible hold the top belt in his company when RVD was right there for all those years. For all you guys and gals complaining about the lack of main event level push for RVD, keep in mind that the Lord and Savior Paul E would not even give the guy his promotion’s World Championship.

My point is Steph can not be held totally accountable here. There has been a lack of direction for over a year now, even Linda McMahon mentions those things publicly in her quarterly reports conference call. I think they will get their ducks in a row, which is why I made the New Year’s Resolution to just sit back and enjoy until WMX8. Just let things play out.

Okay, let’s move along. What did you grow up watching and who are your favorites?

FLEA: I grew up on Florida Wrestling back in the late 70’s and early 80’s. Also Georgia Championship Wrestling. You name them, they were there. Dusty Rhodes was big time in those days and the Road Warriors were the nuts. Blackjack Mulligan ruled the earth as did Kevin Sullivan’s whole devil worship gimmick with the Purple Haze, etc. I went to the Eddie Graham Sports Complex more times than I can remember.

What about the WWF?

FLEA: That didn’t start until Hogan got big. I missed WMI but saw the next 3 on closed circuit. Hogan was never my favorite although I would still mark out for him. Piper was my main man. And Savage. The heels.

What about Flair?

FLEA: What else in there to say? The Man. My favorite at the time just because he was the coolest person walking the face of the Earth in those days. I never realized until I got older how great the guy was, ring work wise. But I always knew there was that something “extra” when you just know for some reason you are watching the best at their best.

What about the current wrestlers. Jericho, HHH, Benoit Austin, Bret, HBK

FLEA: Let’s go one by one. I call Jericho Some Other Guy because in the early days of their feud, Rock E. considered him second rate and made an off- handed comment that he was just “Some Other Guy”. It stuck. I think the guy is one of the best promo men around and love his work as a heel. It’s his in ring work I have a problem with. Sloppy and uninspired. I would be the biggest fan of his around if he could just give me classic matches instead of classic moments. And he can do it, I think. Jury is still out.

Benoit? No doubt he is the best “wrestler” around these days but I think he is way overrated by people who can’t see the forest through the trees. There is a reason that he is not on top right now: He can’t talk. Here is a guy that everyone complains about his “lack of push” but jeez after all these years the dude has never taken the time or put the effort into learning promo work, which is a big part of the business. Bret realized this. So did HBK. So do I ever feel sorry for the guy? Never. And for him to win the WCW belt and then bolt showed about a much class as him f*cking Nancy right in front of the Bookerman. You reap what you sow. He could have spent his whole rehab working with Arn (who is a f*cking genius) or any other member of the Fed on his mic / promo work. Do you think he did it? Nope. I would love to channel his in ring work into Jericho, who has all the personality and promo skills. That would be a beautiful thing.

I do however feel sorry for Bret Hart. Not because of what happened because he brought a majority of it upon himself sometimes, but because he was a huge mark for the business and himself and it destroyed him. His work towards the end of his WWF run (feud with Austin, the split face/heel roles) was brilliant. I hope someday he comes back and gives us the angle to end all angles, which I know if he’s properly motivated will happen and will be a classic. And a pox on that idiot Goldberg for ruining the career of someone 100x times more talented than he is so unceremoniously. And curse to the sonofabitch that ever brings that asshole back into the wrestling biz.

You don’t like Goldberg?

FLEA: No. Let’s keep going. Who’s Next? Ha HA HA HA .eh

HBK?

FLEA: Now there is a guy I miss. My second favorite in ring performer of all time. Even better than Flair, just for the innovations and the high flying stuff. He always looked good and just had all the “right stuff”. What Jericho should aspire to be, in my opinion. Can’t he just watch tapes and copy that stuff? For christsakes, HHH stole everything in his arsenal from Flair and look what it did for him. HBK coming back would be the coolest of the cool, even though he can probably only punch and kick. But who cares, that’s the going style of performance nowadays.

You said HBK is second fave. Who’s #1?

FLEA: Cactus who else.

Please elaborate

FLEA: I remember watching Cactus in the early 90’s in WCW. He was just doing wild shit that no one else was doing then. And his matches had intensity, which is what I like in a match. You can save all the flippy flop shit, just give me some good, intense matches with innovative REALISTIC offense. His work in ECW was classic as was his early Mankind character. His matches with the UT were phenomenal and his match with HBK at Mind Games was just off the charts. Glad to see that match finally getting it’s props. But unfortunately Mick became a f*cking goof. All was forgiven with the Cactus Jack angle vs. HHH, which remains permanently fixed on my all time list of favorites. But now he has flipped out and quit, effectively biting the hand that feeds him. Although I hope it is some kind of angle; Cactus is hard not to like, but he is doing his best for me in that regards at the moment.

At the moment, Austin is the best in the business. His mic work / promos are second to none and he puts on the best in ring matches of anyone around. People may dispute that, but look at who has been involved in some of the best matches over the last year or so. HHH, Angle, Benoit, Rock. Their common opponent for Main Event matches? Austin. And every damn one of them was great. Intensity ,folks. I’m looking forward to his match with Hall. And don’t forget about Angle. Give the guy about 2 more years and he is gonna show you stuff you won’t believe. Da future, that boy is.

You’ve expressed you opinions on the n.W.o. in your news columns. Anything more you would like to add?

FLEA: Not really. I think their return is good for business but hope the Fed doesn’t leave them in the “cowardly heel” role. We have enough of those, thank you. They should be coming in and just beating the living shit out of everything in sight. I’m psyched for Hogan / Rock E. The Fed sure ain’t wasting time giving that one away, are they?

So how do you like having the opportunity to express these views on a website?

FLEA: I’m having a ton of fun. I think and have thought for a while that 411 is a great site. BOSS and Ashish do a great job putting together a top notch site, unlike other places in this Internet Wrestling Community. No names mentioned of course. But I’m sure if you think about it you know what I mean.

Do you realize you are, in effect, talking to yourself at the moment?

FLEA: That just sank in on that last sentence I typed.

Anyway, I have fun on the weekend with the two news reports and EXCESS.

How long have you been reading the net, wrestling content wise?

FLEA: Since about 93-94ish with RSPW. Herb Kunze. DEAN~! The old Wrestlemaniacs site was great as was Scoops. I’m a HUGE fan of CRZ’s work and, of course, really dug what Hyatte was doing back in those days. Another one of my favorites was a WCW writer at Scoops, Mike Michaelson. His positive outlook on WCW was a beautiful thing when around that time everyone started getting more and more negative. Not even sure if the guy is still around anywhere, but I think about his columns sometimes when I try to stay positive. So, Mike, if you are reading thanks!

The most fun and entertaining thing ever on the IWC was the NWWWO. If you were around back then you know what I am talking about. This beget the war of words between Hyatte and Sean Shannon, which beget sides being drawn and feelings being hurt to the point of breakdowns and the ultimate demise of the IWC to the point of where it is today. So f*cking childish but really f*cking entertaining. It was around this time that wrestling columns became forums for content non-wrestling related. Whether that’s a good thing or bad thing is up to the reader.

And of course the jollies never end with Dave and BOB pretty much running the show now. It’s a shame that Al Issacs went down in flames, he was the most talented of the three.

What about Meltzer and Keller?

FLEA: What about them? They have us wrapped around their fingers with the inside gossip, but do not have to worry about the fickleness of Web Advertising. They are pretty much there to advertise themselves. Everyone knows that. But those are two guys who have dedicated their lives to being about as “inside” you can be, without being on the payroll.

Going back to BOB? How did the whole Six Degrees of Ryder Fakin thing start? And / or your “career” in the IWC for that matter?

FLEA: Totally out of the blue. It’s seems for a long time now (especially over the last three years) that the IWC and the entire world for that matter revolves around BOB. It popped into my head one night and I emailed Hyatte, figuring he would get the joke. He liked it a published it in his news report. Then another, then another. Next thing I know Hyatte recommends me to Widro and I’m recapping EXCESS. Shortly after that I did Hyatte’s obit and am now doing the weekend news. Like I said, I have a ton of fun. I get good feedback and people seem to enjoy what I put out there for their reading pleasure. I haven’t managed to push the “hate” button yet…

Like Eric S.

FLEA: Eric is one of a kind. I like his work and have for a long time. It seems the more bitter and hateful he gets the better I like his columns. Not to mention he is the King of Feedback and pretty much put the blueprint to said feedback in his news last week after I questioned him on it. I’m glad he decided to join 411, if only for the pleasure of watching people freak out but still read and write to him, sometimes becoming fans. I don’t use that approach just because I look on the positive side of things. Curmudgeon is the word, I think. Him, not me.

What about the whole “smoking” issue?

FLEA: Oh there will be more of that, especially as we get closer to election. It was something I wrote off the top of my head just because I’m sick of these of these non-smoking pricks being a bunch of crybabies. If you don’t smoke that’s fine. We have a lot of non-smoking friends and when we have parties, they are always accommodated. Same as when we go out. It’s a matter of respect. I do not disrespect non- smokers and would expect the same treatment. They do have non-smoking sections, you know. If you go to a bar, you should expect a smoking section and if it bothers you that much, transfer to the non smoking side or don’t go. But Flea?, you say. Why should I have to put up with that? My answer? Smoking is banned in a majority of buildings except most bars and restaurants. I think we have plenty of room to compromise and coexist. Just don’t enact legislation telling me what I can and can’t do. I pay enough in taxes to have some semblance of freedom , I think.

Enough of that. I don’t want to alienate my readers.

Fair enough? Going back to the IWC, who do you like here at 411?

FLEA: Everyone does a great job here with their respective bodies of work. Except that burnout Art Martinez. Why the hell BOSS keeps someone around who does nothing but smoke pot and think up goofy shit oh wait. Guess I shouldn’t call that pot “kettle”. Or whatever. But the drunks around here have to get their act together. There is too much alcohol abuse at this site.

So what else interests you? How about the music scene? What’s your faves?

FLEA: Elvis. Elton John. Stones and Beatles, Grand Funk, Motown, and good old crying-in-your-beer old school country music. Wille, Waylon(RIP), George Jones, Hank Sr and Jr. and of course, Guns and Roses. Axl’s the best.

You don’t like anything, you know, more modern?

Not really. Kid Rock is cool just because of his versitality. One night he can be jamming with Aerosmith and the next at the Grand Ole Opry. But most of today’s music it pretty stale. It doesn’t “rock” as people keep telling me. Everytime someone tells me that I need to hear the latest Godsmack song because “they rock as hard as anyone ever!” I just go and play them “Saturday Night’s All Right for Fighting” or anything by Led Zep. Most see the light. It’s all a matter of taste really.

One song I never get tired of is that one by Pink. My kid listens to that constantly and I ALWAYS sing along with that one (IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M COMING UP SO YA BETTA GET THIS PARTY STARTED! IIIIIIIIII’MMMM COMING UP

I think you may be very close to alienating the other half of your readership.

Good point. One era of music that currently is back in my life is the 80’s. Desi, me and a majoity of our friends are children of that era and that seems to be playing everytime we have a party. Think Big Chill.

Huh?

FLEA: It was a movie about children of the 60’s rediscovering their youth and coming of age replace 60’s for 80’s

That’s it, the readers are gone .

FLEA: Don’t blame me, you’re the one with the questions.

Back to wrestling, where do you think they are going with this stuff?

FLEA; What stuff is that?

The current advancement of the WWF

FLEA: Oh. Hopefully towards a split promotion. I would like to see the developmental talent get some tv time, but the Fed is taking their time. Which ain’t a bad thing, look at how WCW stepped on their own dicks pushing the “not ready for prime time” players. Bad idea. Cruiserweight matches always make for good tv but you can’t count on them to carry a promotion. Fortunately the WWF has a deep enough talent pool to have proven main eventers to mix in with the up and comers. I think if we just sit back and be entertained we are about to go into a great era in Professional Wrestling.

You’re not concerned about the whole “backstage political holding the talent down..

FLEA: I think it’s 96.5% bullshit.

Why?

When the common fan watches wrestling they don’t concern themselves with “oh, Jeff Hardy just did the job for the Undertaker because UT rules the backstage area and is holding Jeff down” line of thought. Even the biggest mark in the world knows Jeff can’t beat UT. That’s why one of the dumbest arguments I have ever read here is the whole “HHH held Jeff Hardy down! Jeff should be given all these clean win over H and be pushed to the moon” Glass Ceiling!! HHH is evil!!! At the time I couldn’t believe people actually were serious about that. We are supposed to be the “smart” crowd, right?

So you do not buy into the whole “glass ceiling” theory?

FLEA: Well, there is a certain “hierarchy” no doubt. But it’s based on merit. HHH busted his ass to be in that position. UT and Austin too. Rock, etc. What has Jeff Hardy done? As far as the “glass ceiling” theory, at what point to you become a backstage menace? X-Pac is supposedly a little backstabbing prick, but I don’t see him wearing the unified belts. Angle could very easily be playing Jericho’s role at the moment but Vince and the boys are giving Jericho a chance to run with the ball so to speak. It his fault if he drops it

But they won’t book Jericho to win clean over these guys!

FLEA: He’s a chicken shit heel. They can’t book him as a “monster heel” like HHH because who in their right minds would think that Jericho could go toe to toe in a Street Fight with Cactus Jack? Or Hell in the Cell for that matter. At the time, I didn’t think H could pull it off, either. But he did, I became a huge fan of his. Jericho has his position right now and regardless of the way he is booked, he hasn’t stepped up to the plate and delivered match wise. I think Vince, JR, etc. will look at that more than they will anything else.

A chickenshit heel can be effective but the fans can tell when a guy just doesn’t have “it”. Angle does and the crowd recognizes that, especially during his matches. I think his match with Kane at WM will be right on the money. And I hope for the best for the H vs. Jericho match.

What about Hogan / Rock?

FLEA: I think this will be a classic along the lines of Hulk / Andre. 10 years from now you are not going to be talking about ***** workrate in regards to this match, but you will damn sure be talking about it. Hulk “passes the torch” with a clean 1,2,3. You heard that here first.

Well, Flea, we need to wrap things up. Any closing thoughts?

FLEA: Just want to thank everyone for reading and hope you enjoy what I bring to 411. Thanks to BOSS for everything. And if wrestling pisses you off to the point of all you want to do is bitch, please go to the nearest message board or website and tell everyone. Your opinion matters!

Thanks for joining me, Flea.

FLEA: No thank you. Would you like a drink?

You don’t have any beer on premises at the moment.

FLEA: How the f*ck would you know?

You idiot, YOU’RE the one doing this interview.

FLEA: Right on. I’ll run to the store.

* * * * * * *

Yeah, some of that is outdated, but just blame the Fed’s writing staff. Like you wouldn’t anyway, Sunshine.

This has been The Saturday Matinee and I’m Flea.