Okay, given that I was incredibly critical of this year’s effort by WCW,
I felt it would only be fair for me to go back and review one of my all
time favorite cards, the 1994 version of Slamboree, which was
entertaining and action-packed from top to bottom and seemed to mark a
high point for WCW, one that they hadn’t achieved since the switch from
the NWA to WCW.
Of course, this would all change with the very next card, as Hulk Hogan
entered WCW and sent the federation spiralling into the toilet until the
cruiserweights came onto the scene, but that’s neither here nor there.
This show came from Philly, and the crowd was decidedly ECW-ish, with
Hawaiian Guy in the front row.
Michael Buffer does his usual shitty job of announcing the title
matches.
US title match: Johnny B. Badd (challenger) v. Steve Austin (champion)
This was during an ugly period in both guys’ careers. Mero (I just
can’t think of him as Badd anymore) was going nowhere as Johnny B Badd
and was jobbing to major champions (Rude, Austin, Steve Regal) to make
him look like a contender when in fact he was a glorified JTTS. On the
other hand, it was during this time that he began to truly show the
(arguable) greatness in the ring that was to come.
The Hollywood Blonds had split months ago, and Austin had won the US
title at Starrade 93, but was perhaps the biggest non-contending US
champion ever, eclipsed only by the recent reigns of Eddy Guerrero and
Dean Malenko, in that his shots at the World title were non-existant, as
were meaningful feuds. Quick: Who did Austin fight at Superbrawl?
Spring Stampede? Can’t remember, can you? I rest my case.
This match was a very good one, with some mat wrestling in the middle
that, predictably, the clueless Philly fans booed. Paul E. had not yet
introduced that aspect into ECW at this point. Oddly, Steve has
completely changed his arsenal since entering the WWF, for whatever
reason. I think that’s one reason his stint seems much fresher than
someone like Vader, who has essentially been wrestling the same match
since 1993. The most striking thing here: Austin’s hair. He should
have shaved it off years ago. It just never worked, no matter he tried,
and the Guy Gardner look is no exception.
Sidenote: Is anyone else waiting for Austin to declare himself the
“one, true, WWF World champion?” Didn’t he actually use that quote on
one RAW? If he starts wearing goofy boots and hanging out with a dog
named G’Nort, I’ll kill myself.
Those who have no idea what I’m talking about, be glad.
Okay, match going on, get a grip, Scott. Super-hot ending sequence
leads to several near-falls for the Badd Man, before Austin turns a
belly-to-back suplex into an odd-looking pinning combo for the win to
retain the title. ***1/2
Legends Match: Terry Funk v. Tully Blanchard.
This would be the ersatz ECW invasion of WCW, three years before it
happened for real in the WWF. The crowd is totally behind the Funker
here, and with good reason. Killer match, even Hawaiian Guy’s hat gets
it here. Terry uses everything he can get his hands on — chairs,
boards, the rampway — to funk up Blanchard. Crowd chants “We want
blood!” several times. Gosh, what a surprise. Funk tries piledriving
Tully, off the top rope, onto a chair, but it doesn’t quite work.
Finally, Nick Patrick just DQs both guys, because it’s not ECW. ****
for the match, but -1/2* for the ending, for a total of ***1/2
Non-title match: Steve Regal (TV champion) v. Larry Zbyszko
God, hard to believe Regal has basically been TV champion off and on for
almost four years now. Bill Dundee was playing Regal’s butler at this
point, for you historical buffs out there. Regal was a major-league
heat machine back then, using stalling and psych-outs to the limit.
For those who don’t know the backstory here, Regal made many
anti-American comments while being interviewed by Larry Z, in retirement
at that point, until finally Larry popped him one in retaliation, and
came out of retirement.
Did I mention the stalling? You want to see a human chess game, here it
is. Regal and Zbyszko (hard to maintain 100 wpm while typing that…)
pull out every trick in the book to psych the other guy out. Great
stuff. The match itself is slow paced (can you guess how the crowd
reacted?) but solid. Zbyszko reverses a butterfly suplex into a bridge
for the pin, and gets a mega-pop. *** Zbyszko would go on to win the
TV title from Regal before permanently re-retiring.
– I’ll skip the legends induction, because I edited it out of my tape
for time considerations.
Bullrope Match: Dustin Rhodes v. Bunkhouse Buck.
Pretty weird watching Dustin as Dustin, because he and Goldust wrestle
totally different match styles. Although lately Goldust has been
incorporating Dustin stuff. That being said, this was a pretty dull
match, saved only by a post-match Terry Funk beating. Dustin won after
hitting Buck with the cowbell, if it matters. ** for the match, extra
1/2* for the ass-kicking. **1/2 total. Dustin went on to do nothing of
note in WCW, before getting fired for blading at the first Uncensored.
Who can blame him for becoming Goldust?
WCW World title match: Ric Flair (champion) v. Barry Windham
(challenger)
The big gimmick for this match was that Col. Robert Parker was promising
a 6’2″, blond ex-World champion mystery man to challenge Flair, which
was widely assumed to be Windham by everyone with half a brain at the
time. WCW didn’t disappoint in disappointing, of course. Indeed it was
Big Barry…and I do mean big. The guy had a beer gut the size of Texas
here. Hey, it’s called a gym…you might try it sometime. It’s Flair
v. Windham, which is always good, but Barry looked lacklustre, and Flair
knew the end was near, so both of them kind of dogged it here. But
that’s not bad given the talent…it had a lot of wasted potential,
that’s all. The Flair Flip actually works here, as Flair nails the
often-missed cross-body off the top rope for the pin to retain the
title. **1/2
Aside: This was the last appearance of the true Ric Flair. Almost
immediately after this match, WCW began a hasty heel turn in order to
set up the ascension of the Hulkster to the WCW throne, basically
flushing 6 months of character development down the toilet. Flair
became a parody of himself, taking on Sherri as his manager and jobbing
to Hogan twice that year, the second time sending him into (temporary)
retirement. It was a truly sad thing to watch someone as great as Flair
turn into a ranting old man, believe me, and a testament to the
widely-held belief that the inmates should not run the asylum, of which
WCW is a prime example.
WCW World tag title match: The Nasty Boys (champions) v. Cactus Jack &
Kevin Sullivan (challengers)
The first of many, many ECW-style matches booked by Kevin Sullivan in
WCW, and one of my top 10 favorite matches ever. Others prefer the
Jack/Payne version of this match from Spring Stampede 94, but I like
this one for it’s sheer historical weight. It settled, decisively, two
seperate feuds, gave Cactus his first major title, and set the template
for every match the Public Enemy have since wrestled in WCW.
It’s pointless to try to run down the match, because of the sheer chaos
involved. Chairs, tables, fire extinguishers, garbage cans, a hockey
stick, a camera from ringside, you name it, it was used here. Just
utter, unmitigated brutality and hatred for ten minutes. Glorious, and
never quite matched by any of these types of garbage matches in WCW
since. Maxx Payne settles his score by giving Jerry Sags the coolest
guitar shot you’ll ever see, and Dave Sullivan breaks a crutch on Knobs
for good measure. Cactus and Sullivan winning the titles was almost
incidental to everything else going on, which was a lot. Great booking,
great match, the only complaint I have is Dave Schultz’s fast
three-count, but he’s a hockey player, so counting that high is a
challenge, no? I have since hated almost every other chaotic ECW brawl
since, but this one still stands out in mind and is still enjoyable to
watch today. One of the few times the Nasty Boys didn’t suck, which is
worth ***** by itself. The match gets ****3/4 for the action, and the
remaining 1/4* for the booking, for a total of *****
The only question left in my mind is why didn’t that match close the
show? Instead we get…
WCW/NWA/International/World/Gold Belt title match: Sting v. Vader.
I won’t even get into the headaches that the fabled Gold Belt brought to
WCW here, but suffice it to say at this point in time WCW was getting
ready to unify it with the real WCW World title and get it out of their
hair for good. Sting is subbing for Rick Rude here, due to injuries,
politics, and a complex storyline involving a (sort of) title change in
Japan.
The match itself is #1856 (of 1872) in the eternal Sting v. Vader
series, and just about all of them are an automatic ****. This is no
exception, but by this time nobody really gives a shit about them
fighting anymore, including myself. Total letdown after the last match.
Sting wins after Vader misses the big splash, to claim his 5th World
title, although I’d very much dispute that this should be counted as a
recognized World title reign. I’d dispute his 4th reign, which was also
this version of the Gold Belt.
Okay, just for those who don’t know the story, here’s a quick rundown.
The Gold Belt, by 1994, was like the biggest inside joke in professional
wrestling.
Back in 1991, Ric Flair jumped ship from WCW to the WWF, while still NWA
World champion. At this point, WCW left the NWA and created their own
World title, which, despite the fact they now use the same physical
belt, is *not* the same title as the NWA version, by any means.
While Lex Luger won the WCW version of the World title, Ric Flair was
continued to be recognized as the NWA World champion while in the WWF.
Confused yet? You will be.
Ted Turner bought the actual belt back from Flair, since Flair was the
one who actually paid for the belt himself back in ’86 and thus owned
it. By 1992, what was left of the NWA had stripped Flair of the title
and was forced, by financial necessity, to cooperate with WCW again.
So WCW arranged for an NWA World title tournament (and World tag title
tournament) in 1992. The singles tournament was won by Masahiro Chono,
making him NWA World champion, which basically meant nothing because the
NWA was just a WCW puppet at this point.
The title itself passed from Chono to the Great Muta to Barry Windham to
Ric Flair, losing meaning and prestige by the day. Finally, when it got
to Flair, the NWA itself folded and was restarted by Dennis Corraluzo,
with no connection to WCW. So WCW no longer had the legal right to the
NWA name, and now had a worthless belt.
Rick Rude won the worthless title from Flair, and it was simply called
“The Gold Belt.” It should be noted that the title became absolutely
and totally worthless at this point, and any title reigns after this are
bogus claims.
WCW came up with a (bogus) “International Committee” which then decided
to “recognize” Rick Rude as (get this) WCW International World champion.
Many observers, myself included, felt this was a load of horse shit and
completely insulting to the viewer’s intelligence.
The 2nd World title was cheapening the real one, however, so before Hulk
Hogan entered WCW, they did the wrestling equivalent of shooting the
title to put it out of its misery by unifying it with the WCW World
title. And it was about time, too.
But I digress. Slamboree was, from top to bottom, a very entertaining
card, with no match below the “fair – average” area. It wa an easy
thumbs up at the time, and remains so today. Of course, Hulk Hogan
would soon bring Beefcake, Duggan, and the rest of his buddies and
totally wreck everything they had worked so hard to build up, but that’s
another rant.
As always, I remain the net.cop…
