– Live from Roanoke, Virginia.
– Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan.
– Some country music guy sings the national anthem. I FF.
– Opening match: TV title: Lord Steven Regal v. Johnny B. Badd. This
marks the beginning of respectablility for Badd and the end of Regal’s
ability to see his own toes. This is also a rematch from Bash at the
Beach. Regal wears a powdered wig for the hell of it. Badd was so far
developed from the origins of his character at this point, it’s scary.
Chain wrestling segment to start, and of course Regal is the god of
that. Regal has a great way to call a spot: He taps his shoulder to
indicate pain to the fans and to indicate to Badd that he should apply
an armbar. Badd has the chutzpah to make Regal sell an airplane spin,
then nails him with a plancha as he rolls out of the ring. Great
segment, because it gives Regal an excuse to stand around like an idiot
as he waits for the big move. He misses whatever from the top rope and
Regal takes over. Regal with stiff forearms and a chinlock segment.
Badd comeback with an atomic drop and some of the usual Badd stuff.
Flying headscissors gets a big pop. Sunset flip into the ring for two.
Miscommunication spot leads to a Badd rollup for two. Elbowdrop misses
and Regal with more uppercuts, but Badd catches the arm and backslides
him for the pin and his first title. Great match and a huge pop. ****
Too bad Mero sucks now.
– Huge “We Want Flair” chant from the crowd as Tony and Bobby review the
Hogan situation. It should be noted that Hogan was booed loudly when
his name was dropped by Mean Gene earlier in the show.
– Loser leaves town: Cactus Jack v. Kevin Sullivan. Big face pop for
the supposedly heel-turned Jack. Jack was already competing in ECW
part-time at this point so the result wasn’t exactly in doubt. An out
of the ring brawl erupts immediately as they go into the crowd. Back
in the ring fairly quickly, however. Jack pulls up the blue mats and
goes for the elbow but Evad holds his leg and Sullivan slams him to the
concrete from the second rope. OUCH! Sullivan hits him in the ear a
bunch. Cactus with an elbow for two. Back out of the ring and Sullivan
reverses a piledriver into a backdrop on the concrete. Geez, someone’s
taking all the bumps here. Jack gets frustrated and tosses a chair into
the ring and they end up on the floor again. Evad prevents Jack from
using a chair, who gets beat up by Sullivan some more. Evad prevents
Kevin from using a chair, and Jack rams Evad by accident and gets rolled
up by Kevin for the pin. Bleh. *1/2
– The Stud Stable pontificates on the FBI (Fat Boys Incorporated). Arn
says it’s time to reach into a man’s manhood and pull something out.
Ewww…
– US title match: Ricky Steamboat v. Steve Austin.
But wait.
As you know if you read my review of Clash 28, you’ll know that
Steamboat’s career ended against Austin in August, so obviously there’s
no match. So Nick Bockwinkle awards the title to Austin by default and
everyone’s happy.
But wait.
Nick says that Austin still has to defend the title tonight against the
#1 contender. Austin disagrees. Nick doesn’t care and he
introduces…Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
It gets worse.
– US title match: Steve Austin v. Hacksaw Duggan. Here’s the match:
Duggan charges, backdrops Austin, and splashes him for the pin and the
title. That’s it. Welcome to the Hulk Hogan era, as Cactus Jack, Steve
Austin and Rick Steamboat are all unceremoniously bounced from the
promotion in the same show. DUD
– WCW World tag title match: Pretty Wonderful v. Stars N Stripes. For
those of you who have no idea who either of these teams are, Pretty
Wonderful is Paul Roma and Paul Orndorff, and the challengers are Marcus
Alexander Bagwell & The Patriot. Bagwell was neither Buff nor the Stuff
at this point. Sadly, Roma’s ex-partner Jim Powers has yet to win a
title in the sport, while Roma ended up with 4 WCW tag titles. Life is
so unfair. Pretty Wonderful’s entrance takes FOREVER, which the
announcers note. Cheap heat “Paula” chant wastes more time. Long,
long, long wristlock double-team segment on Orndorff. Roma tags in and
takes control with exciting kicks and punches. Orndorff with the
precursor to the People’s Elbow…the infamous Boogie-Woogie Elbow. I
kid you not, I couldn’t make stuff like this up if I tried. Bagwell
with the “heel poses and nearly gets pinned with a sunset flip” spot.
Roma with a nice elbow. It ends up outside and Orndorff dumps a cooler
full of ice on Bagwell. Bagwell escapes the piledriver but Roma
prevents the tag. Another chinlock. A sort-of melee breaks out and
Roma pins Bagwell after the Patriot gets removed for being the illegal
man. Bleh. **
– The Rhodes and the Nasties expound on Hemingway. Or something like
that.
– “Triangle” match: Sting v. Vader v. Guardian Angel (Ray Traylor).
They flip a coin and Vader v. Guardian Angel is the first match, with
the winner meeting Sting. This is supposedly for the #1 contendership
to the World title, although that goes nowhere. Stalling and test of
strength to start. Vader quickly takes to beating up Angel. The usual
Angel-Vader match results with Angel controlling most of it, until the
ref gets bumped and Angel hits the Bossman Slam. But of course there’s
no pin, Race headbutts Angel, and Vader pump splashes him for the pin.
– Second round: Vader v. Sting. A less-than-enthralling match as Vader
destroys Sting, but misses a pump splash. (Hey, I’m busy eating, you
want a blow-by-blow, go elsewhere). Sting mounts a minor comeback but
Vader is too much man and goes for the Vadersault. Of course it misses.
Sting with a bad superplex and the LEX LUGER ELBOW OF DOOM! Two of
them! Wow, he hit more in one match than Luger has in his whole career.
Samoan drop for two. Sting batters him in the corner, stinger splash.
Running clothesline as the match picks up. Two count. Another. Beauty
german suplex for two. Sting out of the ring and Race rams his
facefirst to the apron. Vader dominates a bit more, but Sting with two
gorgeous flying clotheslines and a flying splash for two. Vader with a
backdrop suplex for two. Vader to the second rope, but gets caught and
powerslammed by Sting as they pull out all their usual spots.
Clothesline for two. Scorpion deathlock but the 15 minute time limit
expires. Overtime is declared. Vader with a superplex attempt but
Sting fights him off. Nothing is happening here. Two count by Sting.
Vader headbutts him and goes to the top again, but Sting follows him up
and backdrops him off the top. Vader with a powerslam for two. Splash
for two. Powerbomb, but Nick Patrick takes too long getting in position
and the 5 minute time limit expires at the two count. Sudden death is
declared, first man off his feet. Vader lays into Sting, who is knocked
goofy. Clotheslines, but Sting won’t go down. Big crowd heat for this.
Sting fights back and knocks Vader down, but the Angel is fighting with
Race and Patrick is distracted. The MASKED MAN OF DOOM~! runs in and
nails Sting, and Vader is declared the winner. Yet another great match
to end the looooong feud between Vader and Sting. ****
– Hogan and Flair have a verbal confrontation via satellite. Gene
delivers his fabulous “What are you smoking, man?” line as Bockwinkle
announces a cage match between the two at Halloween Havoc.
– WarGames: Dustin, Dusty, Knobs and Sags v. Funk, Buck, Anderson and
Col. Rob Parker. Dustin and Arn start. Arn gets his head wedged in
between the rings. Nice cross-ring clothesline by Dustin. Flip flop
fly elbow. Rhodes works on the arm, but Arn hits a DDT. Arn chokes him
out with the tape from his wrist. Enjoy decent action while you can
because everyone else sucks. Arn misses an enzuigiri and Dustin applies
a half-crab. The heels wins the coin toss and Bunkhouse Buck is in.
Dustin still isn’t bleeding yet. Must be an off-day. Double half-crab
by the heels. Sags is in to even the sides. Still no blood. The faces
control until Terry Funk comes in to make it 3 on 2. This isn’t a very
intense WarGames. Terry brings a boot with him and waffles Dustin right
away. Rhodes gets rammed into the cage a million times and STILL
doesn’t bleed. Come on, just a trickle, ANYTHING. Knobs is in to even
it up and he takes out all the heels by ramming them to the cage,
although no one bleeds. Buck to the cage, and he doesn’t bleed. Throw
me a frickin bone here, WCW. Parker in and I don’t think we’re going to
have any blood here. Parker is dressed in street clothes. Belts get
taken off and people get whipped with them. Dusty is in and the Match
Beyond begins. The heels all jump him and he fights them all off.
Meanwhile the faces are destroying Col. Parker as Meng fights to get in.
Rhodes with a figure-four on Parker for the surrender. AAAARGH, NO
BLOOD! Weak Wargames. **1/2
– The Bottom Line:
Well, hard to complain with two **** matches. People trash this show
because of the Steve Austin thing, but it’s not that bad. Okay, the
main event sucks and the US title match sucks, but really everything
else is more mediocre than actively bad. Still, a bad sign of the Evil
Hogan Era to come.
Mildly recommended, but it’s not a show that leaves any lasting memories
or anything.
