The SmarK Rant For OVW Rockin’ Rumble (June 2000)

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The SmarK Rant for Ohio Valley Wrestling – Rockin’ Rumble (June 23 / 2000)

– See I know what you’re thinking – “All the kids at school say I’m real squaresville, daddy-o, a real zero, because they’re all talking about that OVW stuff and I’m stuck watching Smackdown. They all knew who John Cena was BEFORE he debuted.” Well, fret no more, because thanks to Mike DeGeorge, and courtesy of ovwrestling.com, here’s a tape chock full of OVW goodness to let you know what all the hep cats are watching this year.

– Your host is Jim Cornette.

– Opening match, OVW tag titles: The Disciples of Synn (Slash & Damian) v. Scotty Sabre & BJ Payne. The Disciples get dumped in a brawl to start, and the faces hit them with pescadoes. Back in, Payne powerslams Slash for two. Sabre springboards in with a dropkick for two, and Payne cleans house and suplexes Slash for two. Damian comes in, and when Sabre goes to the top, Slash pushes him off into the railing in quite an insane bump. Back in, Damian pounds away and they work Sabre over in the corner. Cornette clarifies for us – they’re not crazy, they’re just evil. Slash chops away in the corner and gets a Michinoku Driver (because when you sitout it’s always more painful) and Damian comes in with an atomic drop and elbowdrop for two. They double-team with a crab/kneedrop combo for two. Slash hammers away in the corner, but Damian gets sunset flipped for two. Small package gets two. Sabre gets knocked down again, however, and the heels pound on him. Slash charges and hits boot, but fires back with a powerslam. Sabre puts his head down too soon and gets powerbombed (with a sitout, of course, because they’re PURELY EVIL) for two. Damian gets a reverse elbow and a sideslam and goes up, but misses a splash. Sabre is all mixed up, but he makes the hot tag to BJ Payne, and houses are cleaned. He’s fist and/or fire! Overhead belly to belly for both heels, but the ref gets pulled out by Judas, one of the managers. Payne gives Synn a Rydien bomb and goes up to finish her, but misses a frog splash and the Disciples hit him with a bad 3D for the pin at 8:25. Standard stuff but fun. **1/2

– Charlie Steele & Rico Constantino v. Tony Vannetti & Robbie D. Steele & Vannetti are DJs, and this is for the usual morning show supremacy. Rico is CUT here. A note on the matchlist informs me that Robbie D died last year. Vannetti cuts a WACKY DJ promo before the match. Robbie and Rico start, thankfully. Holy SHIT is Rico huge. Robbie reverses a whip into the corner by leaping on the top and flipping over Rico in a visually impressive spot. I mean, that was a straight leap from the mat to the top. They do a hiptoss reversal spot and Robbie legdrops him. Robbie dances for us to remind us that, yes, he is black. Rico does his own flip out of the corner and gets the intended hiptoss, and some dancing to remind us that yes, he is white. Robbie and the DJ decide to regroup and take a walk. Stalling follows. Back in, Rico & Robbie do the test of strength, and Charlie Steele sneaks in and gives Robbie a cheapshot with the ref’s back turned. So Robbie wants to try it again, and when Vannetti tries his cheapshot, Steele counters with an eyepoke that results in Vannetti accidentally hitting Robbie in the nuts with the back of his head. Now THAT’S a well-tuned comedy spot. Rico works the arm on Robbie, but a cheapshot turns the tide. The heel side double-teams Rico’s arm, as Robbie keeps taunting Steele, allowing them time to work nefarious dealings behind the ref’s back. I bet that backfires on them on the third try. And yes, indeed Rico waits until Vannetti’s back is turned, and he puts Robbie in position to be worked over by his own partner. Funny, funny stuff. Note to future celebrity partners: Don’t try an arm-breaker with your back turned, just in case, and NEVER try ANYTHING three times. Back in, Rico hits Robbie with a spinkick and a legdrop for two. Robbie grabs a headlock, and brings Vannetti in for the first time, and they do a triple-criss cross spot that results in the heels colliding. This is so Jim Cornette. Robbie comes back in again and gets a fisherman’s suplex for two. Vannetti chokes out Rico in the corner and Robbie grabs a chinlock. Robbie gets a knee to the gut for two. Belly to belly, but Vannetti wants the pin. Oh, that’s a mistake. He struts around, and then completely misses an elbowdrop. Hot (?) tag to Charlie Steele, and the DJs have a catfight. Rico sends Robbie to the floor and Steele goes for a piledriver, but Robbie nails him from behind and Vannetti gets the pin at 13:03. A bit long, but tremendously entertaining stuff. ** Rico gets his revenge afterwards, beating on both guys and counting the pin for Steele himself.

– The Collector v. Kurt Angle. Collector, according to Cornette, is the 1993 NCAA champion, but he lost his only match the year before to Kurt Angle. Collector has a generic fat manager and a generic blond bimbo. Cornette notes that this is a shoot-fight, which is somewhat undermined by the long wrestling promo cut by Generic Fat Manager. Angle gets a huge pop, obviously working as a babyface here. He cuts a heel promo, but the crowd still cheers everything. Collector overpowers him with a lockup, and the ref prevents Angle from hitting him with a right. Collector shoots for a takedown, but Angle reverses and they head back to square one. Collector takes him down with a single-leg and gets a couple of one-counts, but Angle reverses to a bodyscissors. Collector makes the ropes. Collector works him over with punches, but Angle gets an overhead belly to belly. Well, so much for shootwrestling. Backdrop suplex gets nothing because Generic Fat Manager has the ref distracted. Collector reverses a vertical suplex and goes up for a flying leg lariat (NCAA standard, I’m sure). Collector pounds away, but Angle gets a hiptoss and slugs away. They head up, where Angle gets a belly to belly off the top. Collector goes low and gets a clothesline, but Angle reverses another one to a Herb Kunze armbar. The towel is thrown in at 6:03. They never really went anywhere with this. * An irate Collector yells at Generic Fat Manager.

– Jason Lee & Derrick King v. Stan Lane & Steve Keirn. Rip Rogers is managing King & Lee. Rip pays off the referee, just in case. Jackie Fargo chucks the dirty ref, and a clean ref takes over. Well, there’s 5 bucks that Rip will never get back. Jason Lee starts with Lane and grabs a headlock, and turns it into a big celebration with King. Lane rides him down, but Lee makes the ropes and complains about tights being pulled. Lane gets a neckbreaker and superkick, and hits the chinlock. Lee reminds me a lot of Chris Candido. The Fabs work him over in the corner, and Lee retreats to the corner and tags in King. King is a black guy with the Butch Reed dyejob going. King works the arm on Keirn, but gets hiptossed and backdropped. King screams the whole way and retreats again. Total cowardly heel team here. King regroups and tries again, but gets legdropped by Lane. Hotshot and legsweep from Lane, and he does some strutting. Lee comes back in and Lane works his arm. Keirn picks up that thread, and heel miscommunication results in Keirn hiptossing them into each other and it’s BONZO GONZO. The heels get dumped and Jackie nails Lee. Back in, Lee gets a headlock again, but Keirn suplexes out of it. A cheapshot turns the tide and Keirn gets worked over on the floor. Back in, Keirn is YOUR grandpa-in-peril, and the heels double-team him for two. Lee hits the chinlock. More double-teaming and King chokes away. As does Lee. They do the false tag spot, which lets King get two on Keirn. Lee misses a moonsault, and Keirn makes the hot tag to Lane. Lane kicks King down for two. It’s breaking loose in Tulsa, and the Fabs flapjack King for the pin at 14:15. Pretty boring match. *1/2

– Mark Henry & Mr. Black v. Bull Buchanan & Russ McCullough. Some have compared Russ to Kevin Nash, but really he doesn’t have the hair to pull it off. The zen of Big Kev is 50% big boot, 50% conditioner. Sure, you might be able to choke a guy in the corner with your foot, but without the golden locks, forget it. Henry pounds on Bull in the corner and gets a clothesline, but Bull comes back with the axe kick and brings in McCullough. Russ pounds away, but Henry dumps him. Bad looking stuff there. Russ sunset flips back in onto both Black & Henry, and gives Black the big boot. Well, he’s at least got it 50% down. Bull comes in with the rebound clothesline and a flying forearm for two. DDT and Bull goes up, but gets crotched by one of the numerous managers. Henry slams Bull and gets a legdrop for two. Black comes in and hammers away, and gets a dropkick. Bossman slam gets two. Henry gets his rope choke thing. Heels use nefarious tactics to keep Bull in the corner, but they stupidly whip him into his own corner, and Russ tags in. He slams Black for two and everyone is brawling. Russ beats on the manager and the heels get whipped together. Bull goes up for a flying legdrop and Russ pins Black at 9:14. Maybe if Russ lost 30 pounds and washed his hair more often, he’d have a shot. As for the match, I’ve scraped more entertaining things off the bottom of my shoe. ½*

– OVW Hardcore title: Trailer Park Trash v. Flash Flanagan. Dutch Mantel is YOUR special referee. Trash & Flash slug it out to start and Flash bumps all over and out. Trash grabs a pool cue from under the ring, but Flash gets it and uses it for no good. Flash whips him with his weightlifting belt, but gets it back from Trash. Trash whips Flash into the ring and hits him with a clothesline, and then follows with a garbage can off the apron for two. Trash finds the hood from a pickup truck under the ring (no, really), but Flash uses the garbage can to stop him from using it. They head back in, but Trash sunset flips Flash off the apron, onto the hood. Trash finds a ladder under there (how big IS that ring?) and brings it in, but Flash sends him into the turnbuckle and chops away. He sends Trash into the ladder and superkicks him for two. Flash goes up the ladder in the corner and drops an elbow, and then heads under the ring again for a good-sized piece of lumber. He puts it between the ring and the rail, and backdrops Trash onto it. It doesn’t break. Yikes. Flash puts him on it and heads up for an elbowdrop, and the board STILL doesn’t break. This is the toughest board in America. Flash finds a guitar and shatters that on Trash’s back for two. Back in, Flash brings a table in and puts it on the top rope, along with Trash. Flash tries a powerbomb off that table, but gets reversed to the mat and Trash falls off to the floor. Now Trash retrieves the hood of the truck, and another table. Flash catches him from behind, however, and slams him on the floor. A good old chair gets set up in the ring and Flash uses it to vault over the top and nail Trash with a somersault. He pounds Trash down with the chair and sets up the ladder in the corner, as they head back in. Flash goes up the ladder and Trash follows, and pushes him off the ladder, to the floor, and through the table! HOLY SHIT! Trash sets up another table in the ring and retrieves Flash and a chair, and drop toeholds him into the hood. He sets up the chair and rams Flash face-first into it a few times, then clotheslines him right off the chair. Trash goes up and misses a butt splash from the top, but comes back with a sunset flip. Flash grabs onto Dutch to block, but gets popped and rolled up for two. Dutch grabs the whip, and Trash DDTs Flash in the chaos and puts him onto the table. Trash then goes up the ladder and legdrops Flash through the table for the pin at 16:31 to win the first OVW Hardcore title. What a car wreck. In the good sense. ****

– OVW title: “Mr. Wrestling” Nick Dinsmore v. Al Snow. Snow points out that as far as his boss in concerned, wrestling is dead and it’s sports entertainment. A referee brawl leaves us with no ref, so Teddy Long steps in. Snow seems happy to see it. They exchange mat-wrestling to start and get nowhere. Al takes a break to talk to Head, who apparently instructs him to go for a hammerlock. So he does. They trade off on that move and Dinsmore grabs a headlock for two. They trade wristlocks and do a neat legsweep sequence, as Snow goes into the judo moves and heads back to the armbar. Snow goes to the eyes to stop a Dinsmore rally, but gets hiptossed and headlocked. Snow tries to suplex out, but gets taken over as a result and the headlock remains. Criss cross and Dinsmore goes back to the headlock for two. Snow gives him some pounding in the corner, but Dinsmore gives it right back, and Snow hits boot on a charge. Snow powerslam gets two, however. Dinsmore gets a clothesline off a reversal sequence, and Snow bails and regroups. Back in, Snow catches him off the chase and hits a reverse elbow, then dumps Nick. Snow baseball slides, but misses and gets clotheslined by Dinsmore. Snow declares that he’s “going back to Vince” and takes a walk. Dinsmore chases him back in, however, and pounds away. Monkey flip into a pin gets two, but Snow reverses for two. They do the pinfall reversal sequence right out of the Flair playbook, but Snow goes low on the backslide attempt and Dinsmore goes down like Missy Hyatt at a John Holmes fanclub convention. Snow clotheslines him for two. Snow stomps a mudhole and whips Dinsmore from pillar to post for two. Dinsmore gets a reverse rollup for two, but Snow clotheslines him down again for two. We hit the chinlock. Nick breaks and takes him down with a single-leg, but Snow comes back with a neckbreaker for two. Back to the chinlock. Snow gets a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Backbreaker and another wheelbarrow gets two. Dinsmore fights back and gets a flying forearm, but Snow crotches him when he goes up. Snow spits on his hand a few times for maximum effect, and then superplexes him from the top after softening him up with spit-punches. Another punch misses, and they punch each other. Dinsmore gets a legsweep for two. Snow blocks a dropkick with a powerbomb for two. He goes up and gets the Snowsault for two. Man, I haven’t seen him hit that in like 5 years. Dinsmore keeps fighting to his feet and gets a sunset flip, but Snow walks him to the ropes to block it. Long kicks his hands away and Dinsmore gets two. He makes the comeback and gets a spinebuster, then goes up for a missile dropkick that bumps the ref. German suplex, no ref. It finally gets two. Snow goes for Head and nails Dinsmore behind the ref’s back, but Teddy sees Head and stops counting. He’s all “What up, dog?” and Snow’s all “Dunno” and Dinsmore is all “German suplex, bitch!” and Long is all “1, 2, 3” at 19:16 and I’m all “Great match, chinlock sequences aside. ****” and Nash is all “Damn, my leg hurts. Now where’s my Pantene Pro-V?”.

– Okay, I lied about Nash.

– Main event: D-Lo Brown & Rob Conway v. Damaja & Kane. Damaja appears to be the white version of New Jack. YOUR special referee: Mick Foley. He’s still got the Tank Abbott look going at this point. Mick is the most over guy in the match. He makes sure to score on Snow in the pre-match promo (“I know a lot of you came out here tonight to see the WWF superstars and Al Snow”) and points out his hip new hairdo. Conway starts with Damaja, and they exchange chops before Damaja flapjacks him. Thesz Press for both heels, but D-Lo catches Damaja from behind with a leg lariat. Conway gets a kneelift and a neckbreaker for two. Blind tag to Kane, however, and he destroys both Conway & Brown and no-sells everything. Brown nails him with a clothesline off the top, however, and the heels stomp him down. Kane does the zombie situp and the heels double-team again, but Kane handles both at once. The heels bail and strategize, but Kane follows and continues beating on them. Back in, Damaja comes in and hits a missile dropkick on Brown for two. Conway hotshots him on the top, however, and Damaja turns around and walks into a Sky-High to make him YOUR wigger-in-peril. Brown goes up with a moonsault for two. Man, everyone’s hitting their moonsaults tonight. Conway and D-Lo stomp away in the corner, and Conway catapults Damaja into the corner for two. Brown pounds away in the corner, but Damaja fires back, only to walk into a boot on a charge. D-Lo legdrops him for two. Damaja fights up, but Conway cuts off the tag and inflicts some damage on Damaja (oh, the irony) on the floor. D-Lo suplexes him in for two. Conway hits the chinlock, and D-Lo tries to convince Mick that Damaja gave up. It doesn’t work. D-Lo comes in to finish with the frog splash, but it misses. Hot tag Kane, who comes in with a flying lariat and gives both guys a big boot. Sideslam for Conway, and it’s BONZO GONZO. Damaja reverses a double-backdrop in a weird spot, and Kane chokeslams Conway, but Foley’s count is broken up by Generic Fat Manager. Mr. Socko makes his OVW debut to avenge that, and double finishers by the faces finish things at 12:11. This was pretty much your standard WWF house show main event, but it served the purpose intended. *** Everyone in the locker room, including Cornette, Bruce Pritchard, and Kevin Kelly, falls victim to the babyfaces’ finishers after a huge brawl erupts.

The Bottom Line: This is some good old-school stuff, with two REALLY good matches near the end to make it a very worthwhile pick-up. Cornette knows enough as a booker to put the comedy stuff at the beginning and build to the really good matches with a mixture of stuff to keep the crowd hot throughout.

If you’re at all interested in checking this stuff out, give it a look at OVWrestling.com, where can you buy OVW and SMW shows directly.

Recommended show.