– Live from Baltimore, Maryland.
– Your hosts are Tony, Bobby and Iron Mike.
– Opening match: Booker T v. Chris Benoit. This would be #8 in the best of 7 series. A lengthy video recap introduces this one. Now, you’d think they’d just let it all hang out, with it being the finale on PPV and all, but it’s pretty slow for much of the match. The extended resthold segment near the middle is pretty inexcusable, I think. Benoit works on Booker’s leg as the big storyline for the match. Benoit is the subtle heel. Crowd is hot, match is good but not up to the standards set by these guys. We’ve seen it all before and done better. Booker takes control with a hot series of stuff but Benoit blocks the missle dropkick and superplexes him. Another hot series and a Benoit Dragon Suplex (which I thought would end it) but Booker kicks out. Swan dive for two. Booker then comes back with two side kicks and a missile dropkick for the pin. Sigh. An anti-climactic Benoit job. That’s just what this card needs to start out. Why do I even bother hoping anymore? ***
– Saturn v. Kanyon. Kanyon is still using the Mortis music. “Mortis” comes down the rampway, which allows Kanyon (the real one) to attack Saturn from behind. The Flock tries to interfere but is quickly fought off. Kanyon and Saturn pull out some eye-popping spots, but the wrestling in between is non-existant. Saturn does some goofy submission holds. Saturn debuts the triple-jump moonsault in WCW and Kanyon does a Rocker Dropper off the top rope. Really boring portion in the middle as both guys lay around recouperating. Neither guy looked ready for the 20 minutes they were given. Crowd starts to get *really* restless. Then it gets really silly as two guys dressed as Mortis run into the ring and start fighting. Huh? Saturn is distracted and is caught with the reverse legsweep as he comes off the second rope, and Kanyon wins! ** The “evil” fake Mortis unmasks as Raven, but we never find out who the other one was. Raven takes out Kanyon, then berates Saturn for getting beat by a loser. The Flock attacks Saturn and gets trounced in the process. I came out of this liking Kanyon, but then I liked him as Mortis too and he did better stuff with Glacier so who knows.
– Recap of Malenko-Jericho.
– Cruiserweight title: Dean Malenko v. Chris Jericho. An emotional roller-coaster for Malenko here. I don’t what happened here, but it never clicked for me at all. Jericho wastes beaucoup de temps jawing with the fans and drawing heat. Awkward spot as Deano tries the super gutbuster and Jericho reverses to a super frankensteiner. Jericho with the Liontamer, but Dean makes the ropes. And vice-versa for the Cloverleaf. Jericho gets Malenko in the corner and insults Dean’s father, and Dean snaps. They fight outside the ring and Dean hits him with a chair for the DQ. A DQ in a cruiserweight match? The only division in wrestling where you could be 99.9% certain of a clean finish for two years now and there’s a FUCKING DISQUALIFICATION??? I’m extremely disappointed to say the least. **1/2 They fight all the way to the street. I assume that Jericho gets the title (it was “vacant” coming in) but the announcers refuse to speculate until the almighty JJ makes a ruling. Oh, great, I bet we’ll have to wait until Nitro…
– Juvy video spot. All that was missing was the Spanish poetry in the background…
– Juvy Guerrera v. Reese. I still don’t get the point here. Reese tosses Juvy around like a ragdoll, with Juvy being allowed to get in a kick to the shin (and groin) every now and then but otherwise Reese sells nothing. The beating goes on and on until Hammer plants himself at ringside. Juvy tries a rana, but Reese holds him…and holds him…and holds him…until finally Hammer gets into position and nails him with a chair. Reese sells the ugliest rana you’ll ever witness and Juvy gets the “surprise” pin. * Well, Juvy was getting his butt handed to him until Hammer interfered, so that didn’t exactly prove anything…
– Chavo Guerrero Jr. v. Eddie Guerrero. Oh, lord, what happened here? Another snooze-fest crowd-killer that was supposed to be an automatic ****. Chavo blows a tope con hilo, but otherwise there were no high-spots to speak of and the entire match was focusing on Eddie’s fear of Chavo and boring weardown holds. Two very, very loud “We Want Flair!” and “Boring!” chants came through. I love both guys to death, but this was SOOOOOOOOO boring. Is Eric purposely trying to sabotage the midcard so he can say “Well, I gave them all 20 minutes and look how dead the crowd was”? Eddie blocks the tornado DDT and tosses Chavo out of the ring, but Chavo springboards back in with another tornado DDT for the pin. Well, there goes Eddie’s credibility. *1/2, and it pains me to give that rating because I wanted desperately to like this match, but I couldn’t.
– Recap of the crap leading up to Jurassic Park: The Tag team match.
– TV Title match: Fit Finlay v. Booker T. Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good bye. Crowd was chanting that at several points, because I and everyone in attendance knew exactly what was about to happen. This was 15 minutes of Fit working on the knee. Literally. Crowd is just out of it, as the weardown-fest goes on and on. More “boring” and “We want Flair” chants. Finally, Booker just decides to forget the crippling knee injury he’s been selling for 15 minutes and make the miracle comeback, sidekick, piledriver and we have a new TV champion. So after all those matches and all these months, Benoit is still jobbing, Finlay is going back to Worldwide hell, and Booker is TV champion again. What a pointless waste of one of the best series of matches we’ve ever seen. *1/4
– US title match: Goldberg v. Gonnad. I’m in a really bad f*cking mood now, and this isn’t going to help. Ring intros last longer than the match. And that canned “Goldberg” chant is really grating on my nerves. 2 minutes and a bit. You guess the ending. DUD Curtrick Hennigrude just shock the hell out of everyone on earth by beating up Gonnad and revealing an nWo Hollywood shirt. Well, gosh, I didn’t see that coming, did you? Nash and Luger, who have no reason to be in the building other than situations exactly like this, rush in to make the save.
– Hulk Hogan & Bret Hart v. Randy Savage & Roddy Piper. Bret has to share his entrance with Hulk. Piper gets the honor of playing Ricky Morton. Bret does nothing outside of his FIVE LETHAL MOVES OF DEATH, and I think that’s a shame because if anyone could have carried this dog above * it’s Bret, but I guess Vince might have been right about him. I mean, is *this* what he considers respect? One notch below THE DISCIPLE on the backstage pecking order, for god’s sake? This was like a dark match from a 1987 Superstars taping. One neat spot as Savage uses a chair to block Bret’s midsection-headbutt. Piper makes the lukewarm tag and the nWo do a tradition miscommunciation spot. This is just sad, folks. Savage goes for the elbow, but that pesky knee acts up again and he falls off. Hogan wraps the knee around the post twice and Bret puts him in the Sharpshooter for the submission. Well, at least it was clean. 1/2* Piper helps Savage up, but Savage turns on him with a weak clothesline, so we have…
– Roddy Piper v. Randy Savage. Savage to the top quickly, but the knee gives out again. He decks the ref. Piper puts a figure-four on, another ref runs in (DUSTY FINISH~! Whoo-hoo!) and Savage submits AGAIN! DUD Jesus, did he piss off someone in the front office for this kind of treatment?
– World tag title match: Sting v. Giant. Giant is smoking a cigarette on the way to the ring. Sting has new stylized Wolfpac tights. I think there were maybe 6 wrestling moves total here. Remember two years ago, when these guys were fighting for the World title in a match that meant something? Giant beats the crap out of Sting for a few minutes, then Sting comes back with the two moves he can still do: Stinger splash and Scorpion deathlock. But it doesn’t work. Deathdrop, doesn’t work. Another deathdrop, doesn’t work. He goes to the top and deathdrops from there, and that works. Sting with the pin for both belts. 1/4*
– End of show.
The Bottom Line:
Well, god forbid WCW should just tell us who Sting’s partner is going to be or who the cruiserweight champion is without making us watch Nitro. In fact, this whole show felt like a big Nitro ad for some reason. I bet we’ll hear more from Savage and Piper tomorrow, and I bet we’ll hear more from Benoit and Booker tomorrow.
Totally lethargic card overall, a show which I sooooo much wanted to give a good review and tried to like from the start, but as usual, WCW blew it. It wasn’t actively bad, just booooor-ing for the most part. Okay, the last few matches were actively bad, but then I wasn’t expecting them to be anything good anyway.
Thumbs in the middle, leaning towards down.
