– If there’s a viable marketing reason for using “Revenge†instead of “XI†as the modifier for the Superbrawl name this year, it’s lost on me. I guess I’m just not hip enough.
– Live from Nashville, TN
– Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Scott Hudson
– Opening match: Yung Yang v. Kaz Hayashi v. Evan Karagias v. Jamie Knoble v. Shannon Moore v. Shane Helms. Helms is replacing the “injured†Kidman, thus rendering this basically yet ANOTHER chapter in the never-ending feud with these three teams. Knoble & Moore start, and Moore reverses out of a powerbomb, but gets backdropped for two. Moore & Helms hit a double-team powerbomb and toss Knoble. Evan dumps both Three Count guys, but the Dragons take over with a pair of quebradas on Three Count, and then double-team Knoble in the corner. Evan comes in with a bodypress for two. Kaz headscissors Knoble into the corner, but he comes back with a pair of blown armdrags. Ye gods, just do an armdrag, don’t try that Mexcian flippy-floppy stuff. I can appreciate lucha libre, but not from a white guy. Neckbreaker on Yang gets two. Evan nails Yang and they slug it out, dragging the match down. Evan is just useless in this division. Give him some more juice and promote him to Nitro jobber or something. Evan blows a full-nelson slam sequence, and then botches a Lionsault for good measure. Yang jawbreaker, but Helms comes in after Yang and gets rolled up for two. Shannon tags in and they hit a double-team neckbreaker on Yang. He comes back with an INSANE tornado DDT that goes all the way across the ring, nearly killing Shannon. Kaz & Shane go next, but Evan rams Kaz into the corner. Superplex is blocked, but Shane sneaks in and gets it off on Kaz. Yang tries a flying splash and misses, triggering a series where everyone misses their top rope moves. Well, at least it was intentional THAT time. Cute spot. Everyone is out. Kaz hits a leaping enzuigiri on Knoble, as Three Count destroys Kaz and Shane topes Yang. Everyone follows with their highspots, as it’s a total trainwreck spot. Into the ring, Evan hits a Rube Goldbergian spinebuster on Kaz for two. K&K hit their version of the Doomsday Device for two, but then bicker over the pin. Yang dumps Knoble, but blows a Lionsault in awful fashion. This is so sad. He uses a Vertebreaker to finish Evan at 10:25 for the first elimination. Knoble quickly tombstones Yang for the pin at 10:56. He dropkicks Moore to the floor, and hits Shane with a flying forearm. He goes up and Shannon takes him down with a top rope fameasser for the pin at 11:57. Three Count double-teams Kaz and hits a sick-looking backslide/legdrop combo, and neckbreaker combo, but Shannon suddenly turns on Shane with a fameasser for two. Ref is bumped. Shane goes after Shannon, but the superkick is countered with a lowblow. Kaz & Shannon double-team Shane, and I’m having visions of WCW splitting all three teams up and rearranging them again. Thankfully, Kaz turns on Shannon before that can happen. He misses a moonsault, and Shane gets the Nightmare on Helm Street on Shannon for the pin at 15:10. Kaz works on Shane’s knee, but a DDT is blocked. Kaz gets a german suplex for two, however. Facebreaker and lariat get two. Kaz rolls through a sunset flip and kicks him in the face for two. They fight over a suplex, but Shane gets the Vertebreaker out of the deal and the pin at 17:28. The first half was nearly ruined by blown spots out the wazoo, but the last portion pulled it out of the fire with a spot-tacular finish. ***1/2 Not that WCW will do anything to elevate anyone because of this match, but the thought counts, I suppose.
– Hugh Morrus v. The Wall. Slugfest to start. Brawl outside, Morrus gets the upper hand. Back in, Morrus hits a flying elbow and chokes him out. Thrilling stuff, no? Wall hits the big boot and takes over. He goes up and misses whatever. Double KO follows. Morrus messes up a stungun, and then REPEATS THE SPOT like a rookie. They lay around for a while again. Lot of that going around in this match. Slapfest and Morrus gets a german suplex, and No Laughing Matter finishes at 9:42. 80% of the match involved them laying on the mat to sell how tired they were. Blergh. ½*
– WCW World tag team title: Sean O’Haire & Chuck Palumbo v. Mark Jindrak & Shawn Stasiak. In this match is contained the most boring collection of ring-names ever. Slugfest to start, and Stasiak hammers O’Haire. Three clotheslines give him a two count, but O’Haire comes back with a bodypress for two. Jindrak comes in, but he gets caught in the champs’ corner and double-teamed. Palumbo gets two. Sleeper goes nowhere, but Palumbo hits a cool hiptoss-slam thing for two. Palumbo catapults Jindrank into Stasiak for two, but gets punked out and plays Ricky Moron. They hurt his arm, but don’t focus on it, instead choosing a double-sideslam for two. Stasiak gets a bulldog for two. The crowd is certainly hot for this. Jindrak gets a lariat for two. Palumbo gets a fluke cradle for two, but gets beaten down again. Jindrak slows things down with a chinlock, and redeems himself by putting his feet on the ropes. O’Haire’s manic facial expressions on the outside are awesome. They should push this guy to the moon and tell the old farts to go f*ck themselves. He’s big, fast, over, intense and has a better look than half the guys on the roster, and that’s exactly the sort of thing WCW is desperately lacking in the mid-to-uppercard right now. Whether he can work or not is immaterial right now, because they need someone like him more desperately than they need a great match on top. Anyway, Stasiak suddenly goes back to Palumbo’s arm, but Palumbo gets another fluke cradle for two. Jindrak sideslam gets two. Stasiak misses a flying splash, hot tag O’Haire. He KILLS the heels with clotheslines, but takes on from Stasiak. He comes back with a superkick on him, Palumbo nails the same on Jindrak, and the Seanton Bomb finishes at 11:37. See that? Nothing fancy, ironic, overbooked or SWERVED about it, and the result is a hot, energetic tag match to get O’Haire over as a monster. ***1/4
– Cruiserweight title match: Chavo Guerrero Jr. v. Rey Mysterio Jr. Slugfest to start, Rey gets a lariat. Dropkick dumps Chavo, but he comes back with a powerbomb attempt on the floor that gets turned into a rana by Rey. Back in, Chavo hits a gutbuster and a suplex onto the top rope. It gets two. Lariat knocks the horns off Rey’s head. Bummer. Superplex is blocked by Rey, but he gets crotched and choked in the Tree of Woe. Chavo charges for the kill, but Rey sits up and turns it into a sunset flip for two. Chavo nails him for two. He goes to the Gory Special, but Rey escapes with a Mexican armdrag that totally misses. What is WITH that move tonight? Chavo goes back to the Special, and this time pancakes Rey on his face for two. He dumps him and sends him to the railing. Back in, Rey tries a quebrada, but gets caught, onto to recover with a headscissors. He springboards at Chavo, but gets dropkicked in the knee coming down. Chavo works him with an STF. Rey comes back with a leg lariat, but gets tossed again. Back in, Chavo steals a mask from a fan at ringside and covers Rey’s face with it. Backdrop suplex gets two. He goes up but gets crotched and masked by Rey, who hits a top rope rana to take him down again, for two. Rey flips out of a suplex attempt and headscissors Chavo out of the ring. He follows with a somersault plancha, and back in for a cannonball and horribly blown Lionsault. Chavo covers for two. Are the ropes too tight or something tonight? Rey dumps Chavo, but he grabs a chair. Back in, Chavo stunguns Rey and wedges the chair into the corner. They both hit the floor, and back to the apron where Rey misses the flippy-floppy portion of the move but manages to finish strong by hitting a vicious rana off the apron. Chavo actually bounces off the matting, leaving a large sweat stain on the floor. That’s gotta hurt. Back in, Rey hits a diving headbutt for two. Tornado DDT and broncobuster follows, but Chavo bails before anymore contact with Rey’s genitals can result. He lures Rey over to the corner, grabs a chair, KERPOW, and the brainbuster finishes at 15:53 to retain the title for Chavo. Chavo is THE KING right now, carrying Rey through a sloppy outing. ****
– US title match: Rick Steiner v. Dustin Rhodes. Rick’s continued existance, push and protection in the wrestling world continues to baffle me. Shit like this is why WCW will always be perceived as second-rate. Rhodes gets a quick DDT for two right away, and a lariat puts Rick on the floor. Back in, Dustin misses the crossbody and hits the floor in dramatic fashion. It gets two for Steiner. Steinerline gets two. Belly to belly gets two. We HIT THE CHINLOCK for a bit, then Steiner switches to a half-crab. Back to the chinlock. Dustin jawbreakers out and a backslide gets two. Another Steinerline puts him back down. Dustin makes the comeback, but Steiner won’t sell. I’m shocked. Atomic drop and lariat get two for Dustin, followed by a bulldog that sends Steiner running. They brawl, but Dustin gets tied up with the ref, allowing Rick the opportunity to undo a turnbuckle pad. He drops Rhodes on the COLD, COLD UNFORGIVING STEEL and gets the pin to retain at 9:14. Usual crap from the Dogfaced Nepotist. *
– Totally Buff v. Kronik. Bagwell wipes Clarke out on the floor, leaving Adams to stink up the match by himself. He DDTs both guys, but gets ballshotten. Bagwell neckbreaker gets two, Luger suplex gets two, Bagwell splash gets two. We HIT THE CHINLOCK as Clarke has been out so long he should be legally dead. Adams makes the comeback and fights both guys off, but Clarke comes in and reveals himself to be Mike Awesome in disguise, laying out Adams in the process and allowing Bagwell to get the win at 6:47. I’m sure if I cared about anyone in this match, I’d be shocked and/or appalled. ¼* Totally Buff gets a tag title shot at some indeterminate point in the future.
– Lance Storm v. The Cat. Does anyone REALLY care about the commisionership anymore? Storm rides the Cat on the mat, and they exchange wristlocks. Cat gets a big kick and Storm bails. Stallorama 2001 follows. Brawl outside, Storm prevails, and he works on the knee. Cat comes back (and here I thought he was a goner) as Storm goes upstairs but gets slammed off. Boogie-woogie elbowdrop, but Storm reverses the Feliner into the Maple-Leaf. Cat makes the ropes and hits an enzuigiri. Mike Sanders makes a token appearance, gets punked out by Miss Jones, and Cat finishes Storm with the Feliner for the pin at 8:08. Mildly entertaining crap. **
– DDP v. Jeff Jarrett. BUT WAIT! Jarrett has a surprise for Our Hero
– DDP v. Kanyon. Anytime, anywhere indeed. Slugfest, and DDP chokes Kanyon with his own shirt. Brawl outside, and back in as DDP gets a flying lariat for two. Kanyon goes low and DDP bails, so Kanyon follows him out and hits a fameasser on the stairs. Back in, Kanyon does his suplex on the 2nd rope back into the ring for two. DDP fights back, but Kanyon hits a northern lights suplex for two. Kanyon drives him facefirst for two, and we hit the chinlock. Neckbreaker gets two. Blind charge hits boot and they do a sunset flip reversal bit. Discus lariat and we get the double-KO. Slugfest results in another lariat for DDP. Sambo suplex gets two. Kanyon powerbomb gets two. DDP powerbomb gets two. Diamond Cutter is blocked and reversed to the Kanyon Kutter, for two. Jarrett hits the ring as the ref is bumped. Stroke, Flatliner, and Kanyon gets the win at 8:15. Kanyon Kutter should have been the finish, but the match was DDP’s usual solid by-the-numbers performance. *** Kanyon then introduces our original match
– DDP v. Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett takes the time to do his whole ring entrance again, which struck me as pretty funny for some strange reason. Jarrett dumps Page, but they slug it out and brawl into the crowd. A plastic garbage can gets used in ways that would surely void the warranty. Back to ringside, DDP DDTs JJ on the announce table, but Jarrett shoves him off on a second attempt and Page lands in Tony’s lap. Jarrett chairshots him a couple of times and back in we go. Jarrett pounds him down for two. Lariat and sleeper follow. Is DDP out? NAY! Call the children, our hero is alive. Another try, but DDP valiently reverses. DDT cues the double KO. Slugfest, won by DDP. Backdrop suplex gets two. Belly to belly gets two. Pancake gets two, and Kanyon pulls him out of the ring, allowing Jarrett a chairshot. Back in for two. Guitar gets involved, but the crushing hand of irony strikes as Kanyon takes it by mistake, Diamond Cutter, and SEE YA at 8:30. Good heat, good match, but no real substance. That’s more due to DDP’s stringently laid out match plans than any lack of effort. ***1/4 Jeff Jarrett hasn’t meant squat since jobbing to Booker T in July, so the win didn’t really do anything for anyone. They might as well give DDP another run at the top with Scott Steiner to kill the month before the “relaunchâ€Â, because god knows he can probably get a better match out of him than Nash can. Overall, Page would probably be better served to use his rock-solid matches to make names for all the young talent at this point, but that’s probably not something that guys with egos and contracts as big as DDP want to hear.
– WCW World title: Scott Steiner v. Kevin Nash. Flair makes it a retirement match, just in case there was a couple of people who had never been to a WCW show before who might actually believe it. Nash comes out in a wheelchair because he’s “injuredâ€Â, but HE’S NOT. It’s a SWERVE. Oh, that crazy Kevin. He sneaks up on Steiner, blasts him with the title belt, and gets the pin at 0:16. I don’t even wanna get into how counterproductive it is to job a guy who you’re building as an unbeatable monster in 16 seconds, because the booking actually gets stupider as we go along. Sooooo, Flair decides to channel Vince McMahon and suddenly change the match to 2/3 falls, no DQ. It’s bad enough they ripped that gimmick off in August for a midcard match, but to drag it out AGAIN to ruin what is already gonna be a bad match is asking for trouble. Nash runs through his extensive offensive repretoire and dumps Steiner, but gets nailed with the foam pipe just in time for Flair to make the match falls-count-anywhere and Steiner evens it up at 3:45. Back in, Steiner gets a belly to belly for two. Backbreaker gets two. T-Bone suplex gets two. Nash bumps like Dusty Rhodes after a night of drinking. Big Lazy makes the comeback and through the two or three moves he forgot to do in his initial run, but Steiner grabs a chair and blasts him with it. Nash manages to escape the Recliner because according to Schiavone and Hudson he’s, quote, superhuman, unquote. So now he’s managed to pin the champion in 16 seconds AND become the only guy to escape his deadly finisher. That’s just peachy. Chokeslam from the resurgeant Nash gets two. Snake Eyes, big boot and powerbomb, but Midajah attacks the ref and Flair punks him out for good measure. Steiner goes low on Nash, another chairshot follows, and the Recliner finishes Nash’s career (HA!) at 12:08. Well, that’s good, he only needed three falls, a lead pipe, two chairshots, Ric Flair, Midajah, brass knuckles and two referees to beat Kevin Nash. At least it’s not 1999 – if Nash was booking, Steiner probably would have had to stop in the middle of the match and cut a promo to tell the fans what a great guy Kevin was, as well. DUD The Honky Tonk Man had it right on Meltzer – with Steiner, they should be feeding him guys like Nash and having Steiner dispatch them in 10 minutes max by squeezing them until their eyes pop out, and if they refuse, fire ‘em. WCW’s existance at this point depends on the wrestling equivalent of guerrilla warfare – they have to get somebody over as a monster heel by any means necessary and sacrifice anyone who’s not contributing to get to that goal. The time for playing stupid political games to make sure the highly paid prima donnas stay happy is over, because the company is losing 5 million dollars a week and unless Fusient has some miracle money source than no one on earth knows about, they can’t sustain this payroll with these losses and survive past the summer.
The Bottom Line: As usual recently with WCW, the cruiserweights put on a couple of incredible matches to steal the show, and will probably get ignored as a result. Thankfully, the good on this show thanks to the NBT and DDP was good enough to outweigh the bad, but it’s all kinda pointless when the company is restarting again in a month anyway.
Still, for the moment, thumbs up for Superbrawl.
