The Monday Edition 9.23.02

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Happy Monday, Ladies, Gentlemen and Joshua Grutman. I’m Flea and Hell has officially frozen over. Why? Because NEVER is my life did I think I would actively cheer the disgusting, historically overrated scourge of college football and life in general, the most DESPICABLE team in college football, the FLORIDA GATORS, but damned if I wasn’t. See, the talk all week (and it was especially brutal in Florida) was that the Gators were going to lose to Tennessee (YAY!) but the blame was going to fall strictly on the shoulders of new coach Ron Zook, which is horseshit. Spurrier left this team high and dry (i.e. recruiting was a bitch) and Zook has been pretty much set up to fail, by not only the media, but the supposed “diehard” Gators fans. Well, those fans have (up until Saturday Night, that is) had pretty much resigned themselves to the fact that it would be a 3-4 loss season and then they would collectively ride Mr. Zook out of town. Well, watching the game, I was rooting for Zook, just so he could shut all these fair weather fans the hell up, which happened in spades. The Gators clobbered heated conference rivals (and #4 team in the nation) Tennessee and naturally it’s a love affair in Gainesville now, with confidence and just due being given to the man responsible, Zook. Good for him. Of course the shitbag Gators need Tennesse to fumble 45 times but a win is a win. Now would everyone get of this guy’s back? The Gators still suck of course, I was just rooting for the underdog

Eh, who am I kidding. The only reason I was rooting for the Gators is because I took every bet I could find, against Tennessee winning.

Anyway, that’s enough football talk for now, you guys are here for WRASSLIN NEWS and I will provide that for you. Actually, most of you are here and wondering where the hell Hyatte is. My guess would be Rhode Island, but who knows. At any rate, you have me to start your Monday off so let’s not waste any more time (f*cktheGators, butIloveRonZook)

Come on, let’s go

FIRST OFF

Unforgiven went down tonight and here are the results. My preview from The Saturday Matinee is included and just happens to be in italics! Don’t think that precludes you from going back and READING that news report, it’s only for consistency. So when you are done here, please go read Saturday’s News, if you ain’t already done so. Grazi. Here we go!

WWE World Title Match – Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

Set them up and watch them fall. Brock’s destruction of the remaining “top tier” continues with what hopefully will cement Brock as a killer. Do NOT look for this match to be a high flying affair, in case you were looking for something like that. Brock appears to be taking things back to a “mat work” style, meaning he is going to attempt to wear UT down to the ground. I have no problem with that and have enjoyed his squashing of opponents on Smackdown, although I have a feeling the crowd will have a few “boring” chants, but that’s only because they don’t know any better. If you are looking for a point of reference, think back to UT’s match against Ken Shamrock a few years back, or even the one with Austin, where they threw out the punching and kicking in lieu of some dreaded PSYCHOLOGY. It’s funny. Because people complain all the time about wanting some “wrestling” but when it happens, the competitors are met with a yawn and general non response. So be it. I’ll be digging this match just for the ramifications – Brock killed Hogan, knocked rock-E’s “face” off (there is a joke there if you think about it) and most likely will pummel UT. Good for him and good for what was formerly known as the Undisputed Belt. I’m just hoping they keep the belt on him all winter and do a super build up with Angle for WrestleMania, as is rumored. I’m also thinking how cool it will be if we get some “internal bleeding” and a heel beatdown after word. I do not really care to see Sara Taker, but she will probably show what can be loosely considered as her face sometime during this match.

Shit, piss, f*ck, cunt, cocksucker, motherf*cker, tits. This one was going so well until they DQ’d both of them. PA FANGOL and f*ck you. Not you, whoever booked this bullshit. God Damn. At least give me a f*cking finish, you .oh what am I crying about, I didn’t pay for this shit. Great match, brutal finish.

World Heavyweight Title Match – Triple H vs. Rob Van Dam

Did any of what H said the other night sink in? RVD is NOT Championship material. So sayeth H. The buildup has been comical to say the least, as anytime RVD gets near a mic, it’s trouble. The burnout just can’t speak. I have never really wished for Fonzie to show his one-toothed face in WWE, but if RVD cuts another promo like he did Monday, I just may petition Vince on Fonzie’s behalf myself. Anyway, the match should be the normal RVD – a thon, complete with all the high falutin “unorthodoxness” that normally transpires when MR PPV is given more than 20 minutes. And as much as all you H haters hate to admit it, he will be the one that carries this match, not the other way around. And for all you RVD fans – think back to what HBK did last PPV (even with a crippled back) and that’s how it’s done. No more of this RVD is the next HBK crap, it ain’t happening. I think I’ll be into this match, if only because the outcome is in jeopardy much moreso than the other championship bout. Not to mention Monday will be fun if H wins and everyone starts crying again how he’s holding people down and such .bleh.

Another really good match with HHH reigning in RVD’s ECW amateur bullshit. But here we go with another bullshit finish, which I guess is going to build to another RVD / H match? How is Flair involved? Oh Lord

Speaking of which

WWE Intercontinental Title Match – Some Other Guy vs. Ric Flair

I stole this from BOB’s site a review of Guy on the radio

“Jericho suggests that internet analysts are misinformed if they believe he is being buried. He feels comfortable moving around on the card and pointed out that he is in the main event on Raw and at most house shows. To further illustrate his point, he has even has suggested that he lose some of his matches. “I’m kind of bullet-proof,” he said. “It doesn’t matter if I win or lose. I’m one victory away from being the champion again and everyone would believe it.”

SO THERE! STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSES MOUTH! HE IS NOT GETTING BURIED! AND EVEN IF HE WAS, HE DOESN’T CARE. DROP THE ISSUE!

Damn. Speaking of burials, what he heck is with Flair? Oh, see, he CAN lose and is still a legend. And he will probably lose here, because Some Other Guy needs his win back from the last PPV and that’s how politics works. Still feel “smart”?

And Flair gets himself f*cked once again. Back in the day, he would have just kicked Some Other Guy right in the leg, but now? I guess we are doing storylines bleh

HLA vs. Butt-Kissing Match – Billy & Chuck vs. Rosie & Jamal

Here’s the payoff for 3 minutes and the Greatest Angle You’ll Ever See Transpire. One of these teams we have never seen wrestle. Will the crowd be into this match? Will Stephanie and Bischoff be involved? Will everyone who is trying to figure out the proper political context of this match finally just shut the f*ck up? If you answered “yes”, “yes” and “no, because as much as we hate to admit it the tension between Stephanie and Bischoff is rolling right along and should make for an interesting week of wrestling regardless of the outcome”. And really – why do you care if Billy and Chuck go back to Velocity? The only reason the net crowd is behind them right now is for sheer reasons of martyrdom. Let’s just make monsters out of Rosie and Jamal and squash the midcarders back to oblivion. And like I said(!) last week, change Rosie’s name to Juan.

Because if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Jamal! HA HA HA HA HA! That was funnier last week, I think.

Rosie and Jamal must have won because the next thing I know, they have Steph in the ring attempting to do HLA and f*cking Lawler’s screaming. No dice. Rikishi comes out in drag and gives the stink face to Uncle Eric, popping the crowd, but making me ill. Whatever.

USA vs. Canada 8 Man Tag – Booker T, Goldust, Kane, Bubba Ray Dudley vs. The Un-Americans

This reminds me of something. Like I’ve seen this before, which I believe is déjà vu. (Austin?Shamrick?Hawk?Animal?Harts?Pillman? I can’t place it. I say they will play this one strictly for comedy, with spinnarooneys, Goldust ball shots, Bubba dancing and Christian crying like a baby. I also say they should just go ahead and give the UnAmericans the victory and then have the REAL blowoff at Survivor Series. If GRUT were here he would say that Storm should be fired. Should be some good entertainment, however.

Yeah, this was the opener and they tried to be funny, but it didn’t f*cking work.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Okay, now is the time when all you fine folks put your money where your mouth is. How may times have you heard this statement:

“Just give me Benoit and Angle on PPV and that alone would be worth the $30”

Well, here you go. You have absolutely no reason NOT to buy this PPV, except for lack of following through on your convictions, statements and promises to a certain Internet Community. Unless you don’t have cable PPV access. “OH HYATTE! The rabbit ears do not appear to be working! Could you please stick your tongue in the light socket?” HAW! Buildup for this match was short and sweet, which is no problem for these two. I don’t know about “match of the year” (I think HBK should have those honors, just by default) but this is a match that will rock the cashbar. Benoit is getting back in form after his return from injury and Angle has not been able to do wrong in what seems like forever. As stated above, this match is the “workrate freak” darling so if you were one of the people that made the statement above, here is YOUR match. See? Vince stills loves us!

Phenomenal match with the right man going over. I hope they continue this feud. Only bright spot on the card.

I think there is also supposed to be a Women’s match between Trish and Molly, and no one can seem to confirm whether or not Rey Rey is going to wrestle. So even though the buildup was a little lax, it looks to me that Vince and the Gang have another one of those “on paper” winner of a PPV. Are you going to order? I’m gonna have to – the Undertaker called me!

So Trish won. And is playing it up. I’m thrilled for reasons no one cares about. Lousy PPV and I’m glad I didn’t spend the dough to buy it. If you have the option to buy the replay or treat a girl to dinner, pick the latter. But don’t invite her! You know who I mean. Well, I do, but I ain’t being so obvious in my disdain, at least for a few more weeks.

HAVE YOU HEARD?

Wow. I read on the newsline last night that Rocco Rock (real name Teddy Petty) died of a heart attack Saturday Night at the age of 49. Rocco, of course was half of the tag team Public Enemy, where he and the appropriately named Johnny Grunge innovated the tag team scene in the early to mid 90’s. mainly in ECW. Ever heard of the “table spot”. These guys, along with Sabu, were doing it waaaay before the Dudleyz made in en vogue. My memory of the Public Enemy will be their feud with Cactus and Mikey Whipwreck ECW 95ish. That was a REAL pop when Mikey fluked out the title win. More forgettable was the time when Farrooq and Bradshaw stiffed the hell out of them and pretty much ran them out of the WWF. Oh well. Look for retrospectives this week and at least one or two articles about how it seems that the wrestling profession seems to have a higher death rate that most other lines of spots / entertainment. I guess the people who write those articles do not follow the music industry and it’s penchant for killing the young. Goodbye Rocco.

In another bit of bad news, it looks like The Road Dogg (real name Brian James, which is guess that’s the moniker he uses now – B.G. James) was in a car accident. According to wherever I read this, Dogg was rear ended by Pat Patterson no, that’s what, nevermind. James was hit from behind on his way to the airport, causing his knees to hit the dashboard and internal injury to occur. Looks like he will be ok, but he did have to skip a scheduled appearance at an Indy Show. Look for him to still appear on the NWA-TNA show on Wednsesday in some capacity. Also keep in mind it ain’t called the “Armstrong Curse” for nothing.

Moving on to a happier topic, the guys at the Torch have the rumor mill going, this time concerning Rosie and Jamal. You see, Rosie is well liked backstage while Jamal apparently is not. My guess is that Keller and the Gang just sit around and throw darts to determine who will be the “heel” in the backstage rumor game. Fortunately, they have a tag team to work with this time and can easily say “oh that should have been the other way around”. Whatever. Oh, and please get the newsletter to Hyatte on time. Trust me on that one. Thanks!

Under Armour is now my favorite product, just because they have adopted In A Gadda Da Vida as the jingle for their commercials. In A Gadda Da Vida, for those of you that don’t know, is the coolest song ever written and performed, running anywhere between 18 and 25 minutes, depending on which version you have. Go support Under Armour and tell the they rule. At least until they change jingles. Oh yeah, some of you younger kids out there will know the song better from the Simpsons. “In the Garden of Eden, Baby” Right on. “Brown” on the other hand, remains the stupidest marketing campaign since “Herb” and Burger King. Guys! The f*cking company is U.P.S.!! I know the unwashed masses are stupid but color association is not needed when the company only has THREE abbreviated letters!

A lot of people are bitching about Stephanie’s appearance on Byte This. I haven’t heard the show, or read E.C.’s always brilliant recap as of this writing, but I did catch a recap on another site, as well as said site’s follow up commentary on the subject. Apparently, Steph went on “in character” instead of “shooting” as is the norm on that show. GOD FORBID! I’ll have to hear it for myself, but what was she supposed to do? Come out and say “oh this is all bullshit, here are the results and don’t forget to order the PPV! THE INTERNET RULEZ! God Bless the Smart Fan! And my tits aren’t real either! Good job breaking that story! By the way, Hunter is an animal in bed and all those stories you hear about “backsatge power” are TRUE! IT’S ALL TRUE! We are trying to RUIN the company! You guys were right all along!” I’m sure that would make everyone just happy, happy, happy. I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. They lack of “kayfabe” has hurt the product. The whole Billy / Chuck thing was the final straw. We are more likely to rake JR and Lawler over the coals for trying to sell us an injury than we are to believe that the “injury” may be a vital portion of an angle. Oh, it’s soooo “confusing” when “work” and “shoot” is mixed. Jeez, no one bitched at ECW when they did the exact same thing and “revolutionized” the business! Wonder why. I’ll check out E.C’s thoughts on the whole thing when he posts his report. Even if he didn’t like what Steph was up to, I at least respect his opinion as objective.

Let’s change things up a little

FROM THE FLEA’S BAG

You know, I remember talking with BOSS a while back and he was lamenting over the value of Top Ten lists and how good of a gimmick they are. Easy to follow and good for feedback. I said, something to this effect “Bullshit, That’s an easy way out”. But low and behold, Top Ten are all over the place and I figure I might as well try my hand at one, lest I be left behind by the “in” crowd. Conformity has its privileges. So without further ado, here is Flea’s Top Ten Drinks of Choice!

Before we get started, honorable mention goes out to Orange and / or Grapefruit juice, bitters, various chasers and, of course, ICE. Couldn’t be done without you! Thanks for being there!

Oh yeah just a quick disclaimer

Don’t try this at home. Hell, don’t try this period.

10. Crown Royal

This is only out of respect. I quit drinking Crown a few years ago but back in the day, that was the exclusive drink of choice. Nothing better on Earth than removing the little purple bag, popping the top and just taking a big couple of swigs to start the morning. Also, it’s the sole reason why I can never maintain any hatred towards Canada. Anyone who would make a drink this good can’t be all that bad. Shame I don’t drink it anymore, but I’ll always have the memory of true love.

9. Tanquarey and Tonic, splash of lime.

This is the first of the “travelling” drinks on my list, normally saved for trips where a lot of time is spent in a car. Gin will give you a nice refreshing buzz, making the perils of traffic seem obsolete as a the whole world just seems to look brighter. Must be consumed out of a Collins glass, no straw, for asthetic purposes.

Speaking of gin

8. Singapore Sling

This has become a favorite of mine during the times of extended “beach hanging out”. There is just something about the mix of salt air and the taste of gin and brandy. Not to mention, fresh Florida blood oranges are used to garnish the damn thing. Desi has a penchant for tying the stupid cherry stem in a knot with her tongue, which that alone is good enough to place this drink on the list. Definitely recommend if you have never had one. The drink, not a wife. And especially not mine!

7. Knob Creek

All you Bourbon drinkers beware. This stuff is 100 proof and will knock you dick in the dirt. That’s why I love it. I once had a drinking contest with some chump and his only stipulation was that “Flea, you can’t drink Crown!” I said “pick something else and bet double” .he picked Knob Creek and I have had a love affair with the tatse of this Kentucky Bourbon ever since. Not for the weak at heart. Unless you wanna bet.

6. Airport Screwdriver – Skyy and Orange, double shot for an extra $1.

Oh man. My other traveling drink. Never ask an airport bartender to make you a “Screwdriver”, always ask for “Vodka and Orange”. This is the only time I’ll spend 6 dollars and smile like I just ate a f*cking canary. I was sitting in Charlotte one time and David Crosby came up and asked me what I was drinking. I responded, then realized who he was and told him how off key his voice was singing “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” at Woodstock. His “people” weren’t impressed, but we missed two flights sitting together getting f*cked up. That’s good enough for me.

5. Miller Genuine Draft

Had to have a beer on this list and why not MGD. Nothing thrills me more than to go to Happy Hour and have the waitresses break there f*cking legs to get me a $1 MGD everytime I holler “MORE BEER” or if they don’t speak English ”MAS CERVEZA” cheap thrills, baby.

4. Moonshine

Specifically, Kentucky shine, which one of the readers in the audience (YEAH YOU!) can attest to it being some goooooood shit. Hell, I’m typing pretty good at the moment and I’m blasted out of my skull on the shit. So, my advice would be to drive to Kentucky. Just don’t drive drunk.

3. Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo Tequila

I thought this shit was over hyped until I got some. Believe the Hype! NOTHING is better in a Margarita (by the way, never drink frozen Margarita’s) and this stuff straight up will put hair on the chest of a dead man. It’s tough to find but I get 4 bottles a month sent up from my friend in Ft. Lauderdale. I’ll ask him if he wants to be known, because in my opinion, Cabo Wabo should be in Coke machines.

2. Mimosa – Vueve Cliquot champagne and fresh Fresh Florda Orange juice

Now then there is nothing I would rather wake up to than the sound of Desi attempting to open a new bottle of Vueve Cliquot. I, being the real man that I am, assist her during her time of trouble. Then I down half the bottle and smile just waiting for her to tell me how much she loves me. She always does : -) then I open another bottle and make us a few drinks while we sit poolside and waste the day away. No driving, no hassles and the living is easy. I love Mimosas

And numero uno

Wait wait wait I missed one

CUAENTRA Y TRES Number 43 just ask for it at you local bar. If this drink don’t get you laid, at least you’ll have a nice buzz

And numero uno

1. Vodka Martini

Specifically, just like this

Take a martini glass and fill it to the rim with some Tanquarey. Then take said glass and drink the gin. Good. Then fill the glass with Grey Goose Vodka, add two olives and there you go any deviation from these instructions is wrong.

And there you have it. A Top Ten List. The whole experience is accentuated if you smoke non-filtered Camels, but remember I have been doing this for a while, so it’s best not to try too hard. Professionalism has its privileges.

ANOTHER WEEK OF THIS CRAP

RAW and Smackdown will be on TV next week, but I’ll be in Atlantic City. Stop by and say hello! I’m easy to find

THE LINKS ARE ON ME!

You know, I ain’t plugging no one except BOSS and Hashish. They rule the Earth. I just hope they remember me .

PAGE SIX

Sometimes you have to question why they brought him to the dance. Sure, the ratings are down from the days of glory, but this totally reeked of desperation by the Powers in Charge of the ubiquitously titled “Entertainment” empire. But this one is liable to blow up in their faces

For years, there was no questioning who was Number One. Sure, there were contenders to the title, people with perfect hair and ideas that would change the world, but when it came down to the brass tacks, there was no question which show would be the most appealing to the prime demographic that the advertisers wet themselves over – “fads” come and go but “established institutions” are where the bread is buttered. It struck me as odd that panic set in, although the writing has been on the wall for many years now.

There was a time when the “show” was the what drew the fans to watch, ultimately bringing in the “fringe fans” who found the product to be stimulating and enjoyable – hell, even WOMEN started watching and making themselves as knowledgeable, at times, as the men, who up until that point always assumed that it was their show and their reason to be able to sit in front of the TV and suspend disbelief while the women stuck to their own damn “soap operas” or whatever else was playing on the tube Monday Nights. Heroes and villains made their monkey asses famous; whether it was it was allowing their bald heads to be prominently shown and used at the ultimate sign of rebelling, trash talking everyone in site or ending the career of a legend in a scene that went horribly wrong. These men were the stars; however, they would soon be overshadowed by what was happening behind the scenes, which would ultimately lead to a final act of desperation by the “brains” behind the operation, who thought the way to return to the long gone days of ratings dominance and public relevance was to bring in the person who for the longest time was considered an enemy, but a person whose talent, as well as “mainstream recognition”, was too appealing to ignore.

Years ago, it seemed simple. The established talent was rumored to be at each other’s throat, but it all came together for the benefit of the “show”. It was the opinion of many that the blatant “on air drinking” of the top talent would lead to self destruction, but the fact of the matter was he was so good in his role and became so identifiable with the “show” that the negatives were overlooked for many, many years. In fact, it wasn’t the powers in charge that made the decision to sever the relationship, it was the fact that this particular top talent did not like the way the direction of the show was taking – i.e. the talent seemed to be more of an attraction than the “show” – and although his ego was legendary, he could not resign himself to the fact that a once great program was becoming a parody of itself. His final year with the program showed one of a superstar “going through the motions” while plotting his escape. And although his ego knew that he was irreplaceable, he never thought that the “show” would sink without him.

A struggle took place to keep “status quo” – but the damage had been done. People moved on and found other forms of entertainment, leaving the core audience, which in itself was still a large enough ratings number to appeal to the advertisers and keep up the façade of relevance but the backstage dealings were getting tense. “We were once Number One and Untouchable, what has happened?”. “We are still in the Top Ten and have a bottom line television rating for which many shows would give their right arms, but that is not enough!” “WE NEED CHANGE! WE NEED HIM”.

In life, no matter what the topic or presumed problem, “hot-shotting” never works. Yes, it does get the “buzz” out on the street and maybe good for a short term boost, but nothing can take the place of long term planning. The Powers in Charge found this out the hard way, as their attempts to “restart” fell flat on their face and what should have been “the talk of the town” ended up being a laughingstock from top to bottom. Most people thought that the “last restart” (hiring a person who was supposed to “remind” us of a former legend) was some kind of sick joke thought up in a late night backroom dealing and that in no way, shape or form is the viewing public supposed to take this “restart” seriously – hell, we are here for the “show”, the individual personalities should be a backdrop to what is happening, not the focal point and damn sure should NOT be the reason that people watch.

That “restart” has now become almost legendary in its failure. But wouldn’t you know that fate has a way of making men out of mice. The Powers in Charge used this failure to convince themselves that only one person could save them and no matter what the cost (or whose feelings were hurt) this person would be the one to turn things around. “Hell, it’s OUR “show”, we don’t need “The Game” to entice people to watch. It’s quite possible “The Game” is the problem. We have had our eyes on this person for YEARS and just KNOW that he while be the one to turn the “show” around!” Offer the contract! Let’s make the deal! Do it NOW!”

Now, I’m just guessing that was what was going through the minds of the Powers in Charge. How else can you justify the thought that bringing in HIM would make a damn bit of difference?

ABC shakeup

Madden joins Monday Night Football in two-man booth

NEW YORK (AP) — Boom! Just like that, John Madden is in, and Dennis Miller is out.

Madden is carrying his inimitable mix of enthusiasm, opinions and analysis to Monday Night Football, leaving FOX Sports and agreeing to a four-year, $20 million deal with ABC Sports to pair with Al Michaels in a two-man booth.

CNNSI.COM – 2.28.02

Headed in the wrong direction

MNF ratings down three percent from last year

NEW YORK (AP) — John Madden’s debut on Monday Night Football was the lowest-rated opener for the program in at least eight years.

ABC said the rating was the lowest for a MNF opener since at least 1994.

CNNSI.COM – 9.10.02

At this point in time, the most recent attempt at “hot – shotting” has not worked. Will the Powers in Charge give Madden leeway or will it be another “restart” sooner, rather than later. Maybe the answer has been there all along

Is it really All About the Game?

Thanks for reading THE MONDAY EDITION, I’m Flea.

Oops, just one more thing You don’t think I would bring you the Monday News without including HIM, do you? I know you need your fix

THE BREADLESS HORSEMAN

I like a week off every month. Gives me more time to treat my bitches like shit.

Not sure if you assheads noticed…

Over at Alexa there is some startling news…

411 wrestling is now ranked as the 7’468 most popular web site.

Okay, good… so what?

Well, wrestling.com is now ranked as the 7’587 most popular.

That’s right… this site is now MORE POPULAR that 1con.

Only prowrestling.com is doing better ranked at 6,129. Fuck them… they’ve got the name and that’s it… we’ll catch them. I’LL CATCH THEM.

WWE.com… the Holy Grail, is ranked at 481

All of those other loser sites… the sites with the oh-so-proud web masters and the “real” news reporters… we still blast their fudgepacking asses OUT of the water. AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO!!

Why? Why is 411 so damn big? Why are we kicking everyone’s ass?

Most importantly, why can’t NONE OF YOU catch us? Easy… so very easy…

Because no one else has ME!!!! NO ONE ELSE HAS THE MIGHTY HYATTE!!!!! BOOYAAAAA BOOYAAAA!

Oh, right… 411 has Scooter too… so does Online Onslaught, and that’s ranked at 77,446… riiiiight. Must be because we have the Feedbag… everyone LOVES the Feedbag. Telling Widro to absorb the Smarks was the smartest thing I ever did.

Widro and Ashish… bigger than Ryder. Hyatte’s bigger than Scherer. Flea’s bigger than Buck Woodward. Grut’s bigger than Georgie Something Greek. Eric’s bigger than Tommy Fierro. Scooter Keith is bigger than umm… Jim Hall!! Raywhat Deonadrano (like I keep track of these names) is bigger than… umm, I’m fresh out of 1bob writers. He’s bigger than Wade Keller! PK’s bigger than CRZ!! The Rapping Dude is bigger than Bruce Mitchell!!! Carlos Mahuad is Bigger than Dean Rassafrassaf*ckface!!! Jim Vanderhorst is bigger than Dave Meltzer (you heard me!!)!!! Tom Daniels is bigger than Mr. Tito!!! Ron Gamble is bigger than Jason Powell!! The Time for a Take Dude is bigger than BlowJob Bethel!! Jay Bower is bigger than Freakboy!! Scotsman is bigger than Pat McNeill!! Clara Flynn Whatsername is bigger than Rick Scaia!!! Big Mike Watters is bigger than that CRZ Doofus brother!!! Jacob Ziegler is bigger than The Janitor!!! Blake Norton is bigger than Dusty the Fat Bitter Cat!! E.C. Ostermeyer is bigger than that Torch Hype Idiot!! The list goes on and on and on….

Basically… WE’RE ALL BIGGER THAN YOU!!!!!!!

INFINITE DEGREES OF HYATTE SELF-FELLATIN’!!!!!

Now back to Flea who will no doubt call me a cocksucker for some reason (although probably well deserved)

This is Hyatte

Now why would I say that? .

FLEA

FLEA is an Inside Pulse Original in every sense of the word, from his unique style and viewpoint. You can send any feedback to ryderfakin@yahoo.com, or just type it the comment box below. also but follow FLEA on Twitter @ryderfakin.