The Monday Edition 12.30.02

The bears will be gentle
And the wolves will be tamed
And the lion shall lay down by the lamb
And the beast from the wild
Shall be led by the child
And I’ll be changed, changed from the creature
That I am

– Peace in The Valley, Gospel Music – preferably performed by Elvis Presley

Why am I singing gospel music? Well, Jesus Fucking Christ, who is the sick bastard that formatted my Saturday News? It looks like something from a 14 year old’s NEWZ! – AND IT’S WRESTLING NEWZ!!!! RUMORS AND MORE! Damn, guys oh nevermind. Hello, I’m Flea and in lieu of the news today, I present to you the IWC 100! I’ve been promoting this damn thing for 2 months now and outside of the whole lotta people that have axed me where they is on this damn thing, no one is saying much. Just my anticipation .running away with me Will anyone give a damn? Guess we will find out.

The list below is a look back at the Internet Wrestling Community 1997-Current. Some of the names may be familiar, some will not be and some you will see will leave you scratching your heads wondering “why?”. My job in presenting this list to you is to explain why people are where they are; and if you believe that, you got another thing coming. I will explain in detail the Top 10 – after that, if I feel like saying something about someone, I will. If you want to ask me why some one is where, feel free – I ain’t hard to find. And if you are on this list, congratulations – you have made an impression on not only me, but on the IWC as well. If you are not on this list, all I can tell you is that you might want to have not complained about HHH so much. Not that was on the list of criteria that I used, by any means, just saying while I’m thinking about criteria, I should maybe explain how this list works

This is not a “power list”. This is an influence based list – as in who, in their writing or presence, has had the most influence on what you read on the net in regards to wrestling. If you haven’t noticed, there is a certain hierarchy to this whole thing and certain things are the way they are because people on this list have made it that way. Whether you think that’s a good thing or not is your choice I know from being an observer for many years and now a participant for the last year is that the IWC bears a strong resemblance to the Hotel California – you can check out, but you can never leave.

So without further typing and rambling here is the Internet Wrestling Community 100. Feel Free to disagree

FLEA

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1. Chris Hyatte

OK, quit your bitching. Hyatte is not Number One because he is a friend of mine. Many people on this list are “friends”, but that had no influence whatsoever. The reason Hyatte is Number One is because just about every columnist / re-capper in the IWC rips him off – some more blatantly than others. His irreverent recaps of the Monday Shows, titled The Mop-Up, were a kick in the ass back in 1997-1998 – and you are lying or delusional if you think that’s not true. NO ONE was doing things like that back then – not to mention taking shots at various “web personalities”, Tony Shiavone and creating a cartel of Villanos and proclaiming Doug Dillinger the Anti-Christ. Yeah, I know what you are saying and you are right – “Flea, I can read comments like that ANYWHERE!” Let me clue you into something – the reason you do is because just about EVERY wrestling re-capper since 1998 has followed the template that Hyatte set, including going of topic and attempting to use “stream of consciousness” as a pillar of their “originality”. Hyatte also branched out into “serious” writing, using “And Another Thing” to prove to everyone that he ain’t just a foul-mouthed f*ck. It worked – now everyone uses the “serious column” template he developed and even documented in a “How To Be A Web Writer” And Another Thing column. Have you read the Midnight News? Hyatte redefined the way news is presented – think about your favorite news reporter column – same idear, same format and same attempt at “originality”. I should probably mention that it was his idear to “merge” (hawr!) with TheSmarks, it was his idear to bring Eric S. to 411, and it was his idear to bring a couple of nobodies like Jonathan Grutman and Flea to Widro’s attention, while he tried to escape (dying?). Have I missed anything? Oh yeah Hyatte invented the question mark. Over the last year or so, the Glorydog has all but given up “reporting” wrestling news and now fills his Monday columns with useful bits of triviata, porn and general Paranoid Hooliganism; something else that is now commonplace in columns: NON-WRESTLING TOPICS! They say that Imitation is the Greatest Form of Flattery – but that same crowd also says Humility is the Most Obscene Form of Conceit. Hyatte is neither humble nor conceited – he is just a twisted prick that invented an “attitude” in the Internet Wrestling Community. Like him (and read him) or hate him (and wait impatiently for his next column to arrive – then read him) there is no doubt to me who has made the most significant impact on the IWC and who is the definitive Number One on a list based on influence.

2. Bob Ryder

Oh where do I start with BOB? Hero? Savior? Two-faced shill? Have you ever heard the story that Vince McMahon pimps about taking wrestling “from the smoky bars and into the mainstream”? That’s horeshit, if you didn’t know, but what ain’t horseshit is that is exactly what Bob Ryder did to what is now known as the Internet Wrestling Community. Back before everyone had a website, BOB was running Prodigy chats and attempting to CHARGE people to come read his “insider” wrestling website. The was no “web” then, only a bunch of “smarts” who frequented places like the RSPW boards, happy in their bliss, but never thinking that “Hey, there might be some money in this!”. BOB did and not long after that everyone was following his lead and starting their own websites – all the while taking a rattlesnake shit on the name of BOB Ryder and his capitalistic approach to the Internet. Of course, BOB didn’t help matters by being a pompous asshole and shamelessly sugarcoating much of what was going on in WCW (as he ran the Internet Talk Show and, by his own admission, was privy to “inside” happenings), not to mention writing the infamous columns RAW IS PORN, which he followed up two years later by PROVING he was right. And you know what? BOB, more often than not, is right. Look at how many wrestling sites there are. Also look at how many of them have pop-up ad advertising. Go back and search the archives for Notes From Bob, any one of them, and see how things he said three years ago have come to fruition. BOB is truly a pioneer and should be credited as such – besides, if it weren’t for BOB, there would have been no SIX DEGREES OF RYDER FAKIN and therefore, no IWC 100 list. That’s some influence.

3. Scherer

As much as I hate to rate him this high, Dave Scherer is the current king of the IWC rumor mill and, without a doubt, shapes the way that people (at least the ones that read the net) perceive wrestling. Scherer used to be a “contributor” to BOB’s 1wrestling.com, using his Lariat to provide news to those of us who did not subscribe to the Torch or Observer, but wanted some “inside gossip” so we would not walk around like stupid marks. Scherer cut his teeth being involved in the early stages of ECW, having almost carte blanche access to the inner working of the cult promotion, as he was the webmaster of ECW.com and could be counted on to report what was happening, but still keep his mouth shut. This hold true to this day – Scherer obviously has friends on the inside but only refers to them as “sources”. Oh, you have never heard of “sources say”? Maybe not. I bet the newsboard at YOUR favorite wrestling website has – 8 out of 10 times they use Dave Scherer as a “source” – and as one of the Top 3 “real” news providers, Scherer is the cream of the crop. Is he a pretentious asshole that “talks down” to his audience? I have heard that, but most people overlook his condescending attitude for the simple reason is it’s easier to get something 3rd handed than it is to be a second hand source.

4. Keller

My how the worm has turned for Wade Keller. Not three years ago he was saying how much better he was than the Internet, and now he has pop-up’s and a lounge If you have been around long enough, you should be laughing like I do every time I think if PWTorch.com. Although he has found success more from his Pro Wrestling Torch Nrewsletter than he has from the IWC, the reason he ranks this high on the list is because his news letter is one of the Top 3 to steal from (credit) for news reports and news lines. I heard one time that Wade Keller had more “inside sources” in WCW than Deep Throat; whether or not that is true, I don’t know – but remember that Keller is the guy that predicted Hogan would come back and Main Event Wrestlemania – only problem is he said that six f*cking years in a row before it happened. As always, the end justifies the means – which is how most people justify posting quotes from a paid subscription to their own columns and news reports. Whatever is Clever – I don’t think Wade would disagree.

5/6. Widro /Ashish

No, this ain’t brownosing to the bosses – these kids have taken nothing and turned it into what may be the top wrestling site on the web. They have managed to obtain the rights to Scott Keith (along with the rest of the Smarks), Hyatte, Eric S. (and other web luminaries) and have recently branched out to movies, music and oh shit! Do YOU know that 411mania is coming! 3.3.03 and be prepared – not you, I’m telling BOSS and Hashish to be prepared – the money is going to be rolling in and everyone of your “employees” are going to be looking for a handout. Not Flea, of course – I’ve Got Mine. But all bullshit aside, these two are at the top of the Internet Wrestling Community and have no place to go but up. I was talking to Widro the other night and determined that the more people scream “YOU SUCK!”, the more they are Jealous Jennys. Naturally, talking to Hashish led to him screaming about “how that hack Widro better not be rated higher than me!!” So you are tied punks.

7. Meltzer

Another one on this list for vague influence instead of an Internet presence. Ever been to his website? It ain’t a f*cking thing but a long-winded, poorly written advertisement for his newsletter. But that’s where the gold is – Dave is the resident “guru” of inside information, having dedicated his life to being a second hand source. Which is good – it’s tough to be “smart” without Da Meltz to guide you, so make sure you subscribe. Now!

8. Christopher Robin Zimmerman

King of Recapping. If you want to know what happened and when, go read CRZ. I remember reading CRZ waaay back when (before he retired the first time) and then recognized his name when Wrestlemaniacs.com launched – here was this guy who would meticulously detail EVERYTHING that occurred, including the now famous “(insert wrestler’s name) is WALKING! Classic stuff. CRZ also has his own site (now on hiatus) and a very popular Message Board, Wienerville, which, as much as he hates to admit, is one of the tops around. CRZ is now “retired” again, in pursuit of the finer things in life – what that may be, who knows – the dude is kinda vague, if you didn’t notice. His recaps are among my 3 favorite things ever on the web – and his influence is felt very peripherally no one has the balls to attempt to emulate him, which may just be the highest form of flattery of all. There is definitely no one like him – and if you don’t believe me, just ask him sometime.

9. Scott Keith

What type of world do we live in when our perceptions of wrestling are formed by some Canadian writing recaps? Tough to say – Netcop has always been a favorite of mine, even though I agree with almost nothing he says. But I will give credit where credit is due – Keith has blossomed from some RSPW weirdo into the preeminent PPV and TV show re-capper on the web. His match ratings are now the judge (in most people’s eyes) of what was a good match and what was a DUD. There are also not too many people can polarize a message board with “off handed” comments – look around sometime at all the “Scott Keith is a dumb f*ck” threads. Netcop is also a published author, with his first book “The Buzz On Pro Wrestling” being met with quite a bit of disdain by his peers in the IWC – for good reason that book could have used some editing. His new book will be out next month, and well, we will just have to see what happens then. I can’t complain about having Netcop writing on the same site as me – he does bring in the business. Are you on his inner circle list? Me neither – but I do know that better not say nothing else. Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9

10. Sean Shannon

And to round out the Top 10 with some good karma, here is the oddest freak ever to grace the Internet Wrestling Community. But to not include him (her?) would be a grievous mistake – after all, he did invent the term “Internet Wrestling Community”. For those of you that only know the myth of Sean Shannon – here is the story in a nutshell: He was one of the most pompous writers on the net, creating the nwwwo.com (one of the top sites for opinion back in the day), then later creating Rantsylvania.com, which became TheSmarks.com, which became part of the 411 empire. In between all that, he got into an infamous fight with Chris Hyatte, which put Hyatte on the map as the supreme ball busting asshole on the net and Shannon in a dress, by all accounts 3 years faster than it would have happened anyway. My words can not do justice to the influence that “Lil Miss Rebel” had on the net – my advice would be to go check the archives and find out for yourself. Truly one of a kind – and it’s was truly a sad day when Sean Shannon was not around to kick anymore.

And now for the rest comments inserted when I feel like typing

11. Mike Samuda – AKA Micasa. Before the days of everyone having a website, MiCasa used to comb the newsletters, dial the hotlines and then report what he heard. Totally original, but now common place. Rumor has it that he is now a lawyer in Miami. I don’t know which is worse that he’s a f*cking lawyer, lives in Miami or no longer reports on the web. I’ll choose the third option, although nowadays he would be bypassed by newsboards like an Edsel racing a Cadillac. But without a doubt an original.

12. Rick Scaia
13. Al Isaacs
14. Dean Rasmussen
15. Eric Szulczewski – quite possibly my favorite columnist
16. Greg Dillard
17. Jeff Marek
18. Herb Kunze
19. E.C. Ostermeyer
20. Mark Madden
21. Bob Morris
22. Rob Fienstein
23. Joey Styles
24. Zach Arnold
25. Josh Nason
25. DDT Digest Bill
26. Buck Woodward
27. tOA
28. Phil Rippa
29. Bruce Mitchell
30. Rajah
31. Mike Mooneyham
32. Jon Petrie
33. Michael K. Johnson II
34. Bob Magee
35 Honky Tonk Man
36. Dave Gagnon
37. Diamond Dallas Page
38. Ray Duffy
39. Seth Mattes – remember him? THAT caused some waves!
40. Ultimate Warrior
41. Don Becker
42. Georgiann Makropoulos
43. The Cubs Fan
44. Kevin Posiadlik
45. That Chick from Scoops years ago who use to be involved with the business but told everyone to forget her name I did. And don’t tell me who it is- respect her wishes
46. Al Galdi
47. Mark Coale
48. Tom The Actuary
49. Terry Talyor
50. IGN (rip)
51. Jeff McGinnis
52. Ken Anderson
53. Jon Richardson
54. G.P Ryan
55. BJ Bethel
56. ?
57. Freakboy
58. Ben Miller
59. Remy “The Slammer” Artega
60. Josh Shiaman
61. Erik Ashley
62. Michael Jenkinson
63. Joshua Grutman
64. Brian Alverez
65. Jason Powell
66. Jeb Tennyson Lund
67. Jess McGrath
68. JJ Botter
69. Scotsman
70. Luke Johnson
71. Mike Michaelson
72. Lance Storm
73. Ben Morse
74. Tom Zenk
75. The Superstar
76. Chris Williams
77.Jay Bower
78. Chris Bird
79. Tom Daniels
80. Brian Alvarez
81. Nicolas Seafort
82. Justin Baidsen
83. Justin Shapiro
84. Carlos Mauhad
85. Pat Brower
86. Michael Taveres
87. Derek Burgan
88. John Keane
89. Robert Ortega jr
90. Phil Scheider
91. Alex Marvez
92. John C
93. Scott Christ
94. PK
95. Brian Garside
96. Tommy Fierro
97. Tim Whitehead
98. Steve Schroder
99. Jeff Lynch
100. Fab Glitter – funniest column ever

And that’s that Happy New Year!

Thanks for reading The Monday Edition, I’m Flea