Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man of wealth and taste. I’ve been around for a long, long time. Stolen many aâ€¦
Well, that’s not really true. But I’m on a Stones groove this morning.
I’ve stolen nothing other than a few hearts. I’ve been â€œaroundâ€ this business for about five years. And all the wealth I have is more spiritual than financial. But apparently, being here now, I do have taste.
As some of you may be aware, in the past I wrote a little column called The Mount for a little publication known as Fanzing. Fanzing was devoted towards showcasing fan fiction and art, reviews and news relating to the properties of DC Comics. And The Mount â€œwas devoted toward my sermons upon many matters related to the comic industry: from the signs of a bad comic book shop to reviews of superhero-themed video games and movies, with the occasional bit of satire thrown in. Note the emphasis upon â€œin the pastâ€ and â€œwasâ€.
For time was not kind to the editors and most of their free time was spent working upon the magazine. And lo, the cost of said webzine was growing ever higher. Thus it was decided, with heavy heart, that they would bring their great works to a close before a closing was forced upon them.
And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth, for many a writer now found themselves without an outlet for their creative energies. And such a writer was Iâ€¦
Until one day. One magic day, He passed my way. And while we spoke of many things, fools AND kings, this He said to me: â€œThe greatest thing for you, young Stars, would be to write for me.â€
The “He”, in this case, is Ben Morse who is editing this whole little section of web site and will be doing a darn good job, I’m sure!
I’m sure you can all guess what my answer was since you are reading these words right now. True, there was much heavy negotiating over my salary and benefits. I insisted upon a penthouse office, a fully stocked bar of fine sipping tequilas and as many stripped and shaven wenches as my poor, little, innocent (ha!) eyes could stand.
Well, after Ben was let out of the hospital for the heart attack brought on by a â€œsevere bout of uncontrollable laughterâ€, we talked again and came to an agreement. I would have total freedom to write about anything in the comic genre and they would publish it, for as long as the readers kept reading.
The handle is Starman Matt. Also Know As: Starman Matt, Stars Morrison, Unca Stars and for a brief period before an injunction by Stan Lee’s lawyers, Spider-Man Matt and Spider-Matt. No distinguishing marks, scars or tattoos.
Wanted by 411mania.com for amusing and enlightening the general populace of the world with his humorous and educational writings on current trends and specific stories in the comic book genre.
If you should see this man, do not confront him. He is unarmed except for the most sarcastic wit this side of Peter Parker and should be considered dangerously esoteric.
Tune in Next Week: Same Matt Time. Same Matt Website. Until then, may your clerks be friendly and your comics unbent!