The Monday Edition 01.13.03

Good morning, I’m Flea and welcome to another week of hopefully non-felonious behavior. You know what sucks about being retired? The kid still needs breakfast. It gives a new meaning to the once screamed phrase “FIVE AYYYYEMMMM”, but you take the good with the bad. Sorry about last week – signals were crossed, miscommunication abounded and GRUT nearly had a drunken nervous breakdown I think everyone is straightened out now. Daniels takes over Saturdays, I’ll be doing Mondays until Hyatte escapes from Patterson’s basement (who think their coincidental disappearances are accidental?) and then

Hey Eric S? Come On! This thing about “no Internet access” ain’t flying with the Fleabag. I once did TWO reports – on Valentine’s Day weekend no less – from Key West, with a Gay Jamaican and a woman who decided to redefine excess and romance at the same time. So, according to my sources, Iowa does have Radio Shacks and/or computer stores where you can get Internet Access AND send mail. Hell, as fast as you type, you should be in and out of there before the asshole salesman tries to sell you a cell phone. So improvise!!!! For crying out loud, why the hell am I bitching at you? Congratulations! and all the best with the new job – my advice was that you should have taken whatever they offered you in Florida last year because February = f*ck this cold weather, let’s play some GOLF. I’m supposedly keeping your Tuesdays and Wednesdays warm until you return – and damn straight I am going to blatantly steal a Tuesday format you created and will keep my fingers crossed that the flame mails from morons are not kept on speed dial.

By the way – BOSS and Hashish – if you are reading this, please have my mail link on Tuesdays and Wednesday directed to somewhere else – preferably to GRUT. The last thing I need right now is a bunch of freaks clogging my mailbox with delusions of grandeur. Except Gamble and the irregular regulars I’m gonna need to fill space so you guys are more than welcome to send comments, suggestions and wisecracks. Grazi.

If you are looking for further discussion of The IWC 100! look no further than Page Six, where I give a couple apologies then post some comments that appeared on various message boards around the Net. Should be fun and groovy and stuff. But before all that we have some wrestling news to type about, so let’s see what’s up

Come on, let’s go

FIRST OFF

It’s probably odd to talk about a week old RAW, but how can you not look at that 12-car pile up? In what proves to be an interesting twist of fate, HHH is NOT being panned this week for being a menace and most people are not hanging themselves over the damn I don’t even know what to say about what happened on RAW. The whole bodybuilding segment SCREAMED of one of those “backstage occurrences where we have to return the rib on National TV to keep order in the locker room” type of things. I guess that congrats should be given to Ghoastwlaker and the other Indian dude for building on their appearance on a WWA PPV into something as dubious as a televised masturbation contest, but I would blame / credit that more on location rather than resume. Before the last 30 minutes, the show was good, featuring a Some Other Guy / HBK confrontation and a good ole fashioned beatdown of Bubba and D’Von. Throw in a nice Women’s match with what is quickly becoming an underground favorite of the washed and unwashed members of the IWC – Victoria’s music. I got the emails telling me who sings that but never posted it – mainly because I was like Eric’s S. in the confusion – the description of the band is just too much to type without laughing. But it’s a killer song and I think that what’s going on with the Raw promotion of the Women’s division is miles ahead of what appears on Smackdown. Think about it would you rather see Trish and Victoria go at it with stiff kicks and plenty of action or see a three – way “Viagra / Ben Wa Balls on a Pole match between Torrie, Dawn Marie and Al Wilson? I think I have made it clear that I think Dawn Marie is and always has been the Flea’s Meow, but I do have my limits. The point of all this is

RAW 3.6 – based on 3.5 for the first hour and 3.7 for the second hour.

Just to let you in on a little secret – I have been tracking the ratings to see if people are doing the “mass tune-out” when HHH is featured. Guess what? For the (x) number week in a row, the second hour has had more viewers than the first, getting HHH closer to (x) number of weeks not leading to a second half rating plunge vs. how many PPV’s in a row in which he was featured in the Main Event. I figure this formula is as good as the one that Da Meltz is currently brainwashing everyone into believing – of course, I do not have the CREDIBILITY of Meltzer, but then again, I am perfectly content in blissful ignorance.

I have no interest whatsoever in bodybuilding but will give credit to the writing staff for doing their best to keep these two away from each other until what hopefully turns into a good series of matches. I think if HHH can get it into his head to get the f*ck beat out of him by Steiner (and by stiff I mean something to the effect of no foot stomping or none of the whole “no-selling” the suplexes) I think that you have the makings of a group of matches that will be looked upon as possible “classics” in the vein of what Big Bad Booty Daddy Freakzilla Poppa Boom Shaka a Laka Pump did against Goldberg and Booker T. If you go back and watch those matches, great action and show stealers, even if you count the crap that WCW was feeding us at the time. My only request is that they find that bridge in Detroit to create some shenanigans as opposed to Arm Wrestling and Pose-Offs. There are much more creative ways of building a feud – but when in doubt, go back to the time honered classics.

Smackdown kicked some ass – just on account of some good old fashion wrestling and .have you heard

Heyman goes both ways!

Ha ha ha and ha! Al and Dawn had some trouble – heart attack – and I have gone by the point of caring. I dig what they are doing with Team Angle and that’s enough of Smackdown. Rumor has it the are mucho grenada showdowns a- happening at UPN and their parent station, but if you depend on me for news – then join me in waiting until it all plays out like anyone who is making money off this should.

HAVE YOU HEARD?

Watching Smackdown the other night, I saw a promo for Tough Enough 3, promising a feature performance from Bob Holly, taking umbrage at the supposed lack of “respect for the business” from one of the hand picked contestants waiting to ascend to WWE (or at the very least OVW) stardom – long story short, Holly is gonna turn this punk into hamburger meat. I think my disdain for the Tough Enough shows has been made perfectly clear – and if not, I’ll explain again. Tough Enough is a slap in the face to anyone who claims to be a fan of professional wrestling and the ultimate middle finger to every wrestler in (or out) of the business. In my opinion, of course. For a fan, especially if you enjoy the Independent scene, it should make you sick to see people hand picked and coddled by WWE on your TV screens when the bottom line fact of the matter is that they couldn’t carry 95% of the Indy workers jockstraps. Not that Maven, Harvard, Nidia or anyone of the contestants / winners are to blame – they are simply trying to fulfill a dream by any means necessary. And all three of them are talented in their own ways – which keeps the “McMahon Genius” myth alive. If 8 years from now Maven vs. Nowinski headline a sold out Wrestlemania, Vince will have the ultimate validation; he took a nobody and transformed them into a Superstar. He can never truly claim full credit for Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Kurt Angle or any other “superstars” – each of those men are perfectly comfortable, and to a certain degree 100% correct in saying they had as much to do with their own success as Vince McMahon did, something I’m sure that, on some level, bothers Vince. The whole debacle over Hogan’s book (which I just finished reading) led to that book being a poorly written, sanitized version of half truths and exaggerations, but on many topics , Hogan hit the nail squarely on the head. It was a Hogan / McMahon * Team * that created a legacy. The same can be said for Stone Cold (who Vince had in a lousy gimmick before realizing he had a pot of gold letting Austin be Austin). As far as the Rock – he is 3rd Generation WWF as most likely loyal for life. But he would have been reasonably popular and most likely very successful for whomever he worked, based on his charisma and looks alone. Angle is a prodigy – I remember hearing about him years ago when he was languishing in the farm system and everyone that knew anything said that he was “special” and it was just a matter of time before he was the next breakout star. So obviously he brought a lot to the table; Vince just made sure he had his head on straight and then turned him loose. But when it comes to “creating” a superstar, Vince never could claim 100% responsibility – for that reason alone, we have Tough Enough.

It is no secret that wrestling is predetermined and, as all the “smart” people say, “worked”. That does not change the fact that wrestling is a tough business not only get your foot in the door, but once you are inside having the tenacity (as well as the talent) to fight your way, if not all the way to the top, at least to a level where you can reasonably be considered a “success” to some degree. What Tough Enough did was to open the door for the average “mark” to give their best performance in front of a home video camera, mail it to Connecticut and hope for a phone call. It’s pretty much similar to a concept like Star Search but with the MTV spin of creating a drama of love, betrayal and perseverance, using the common goal of “WWE Superstardom” as a backdrop of the latest version of Real World. Sounds good on paper – until you figure out the logistics of “gee, we are taking a sport that everyone considers “fake” and PROVING that it’s fake by showing that yes, Virginia, they really * do * learn how to fall!!! – regardless of what JR or Mick Foley say about the asshole at home on his couch with a beer screaming about “stuntmen”. But the moral is, even though they do learn how to fall and pull their punches, that shit ain’t easy. And neither is having to do squats and push-ups. By the way, have you noticed how in good of shape this Tough Enough III crowd is? Those guys are “ripped” as opposed to the sorry excuses for human beings we got in versions 1 and 2. But in classic MTV style, drama must be added to remind us of the human aspect, not to mention there is a need by the public to have reality on their televisions – even if the reality is filtered through an editing room. Hell, it’s proven very successful, so why quit now?

Vince appears to have the formula down pat, creating a mild sensation in Maven (who unfortunately broke his leg right when he was getting scary over) and Christopher Nowinski, who appears to be one of those guys that you just want to hate for some deep – seeded resentful reason – kind of like X-Pac. Sure, both of them are still a little green, but they both have been well protected, at least to the point that people have been given the opportunity to watch their characters develop and therefore have a vested interest in either cheering or booing them. Unlike the reverse effect with Hugh Morrus, Albert, Kane and Big Show, who are shoved down the fans throats whether we like it or not. Nidia has also been put into a role that has allowed her to entertain without being overtly obnoxious about it, but I can’t understand why her and Noble’s angle has been pretty much cut to three minutes a week. But to be fair, trying to figure out the booking logic is like pretty much like pissing into the wind – maybe that’s the reason that Keller, Meltzer and Scherer make up all those things. The only setback to the Tough Enough franchise was what is now known as the “Gayda Incident” – which has now been turned into a “ha ha the yokes on us” version of history, much like the Gobbledygooker, Brawl for All or anything that involves Mae Young and Moolah. But other than that, I think Vince has been very pleased on how his televised reality brainchild will prove once and for all who has the brains and who is the “true” genius in the world of Professional Wrestling.

Many of the wrestlers, be it privately or publicly, have expressed their dislike, and it some cases, outright hatred of the whole idea of a television show that not only gives away the “trade secrets” but also gives the contestants a shortcut into a business where “paying your dues” is not just a saying, but a way of life. One of the most vocal lately has been HHH – who blames his lack of being over as a heel on shows like Tough Enough and Confidential. I think that’s taking it a bit to far, but HHH is right on one level – respect plays a big part in how business is conducted in pro wrestling and it is very hard to believe the “respect” he is referring to can be taught in two months, in front of cameras, at a palatial estate by a beach. I have a strong suspicion that many wrestlers (as well as people behind the scenes) feel like this –

I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of crybabies in all my life.

– Bob “Hardcore” Holly, WWE.com in an interview on Friday

Before I read that interview, I read a bunch of people’s opinions on this – just because when I was sitting there watching the show Thursday Night, the first thing that popped into my head was “holy shit are the hypocritical wannabes on the net gonna have a field day with this one”. And sure enough, you guys did not let me down. The common opinion is that Bob Holly should be ashamed of himself

Bob Holly should be ashamed of himself.

– BOB Ryder, also on Friday, and it’s good to see him back.

See what I mean? Bob Holly is now the patron saint of what’s wrong with things with the consensus being that he is an insecure prick with no respect for anyone.

Matt gets on there and says I disrespected him? I don’t have to respect somebody I don’t know (and have never been in the ring with).

– Holly, again from the WWE,com interview

Unfortunately, that brings us back to the IWC’s opinions that what Holly did was uncalled for and disgusting. Not that I’m picking on Ryder here, but I will use his opinions as the common “voice” of the IWC. Most of the items I read had these same thoughts, but as per usual, BOB is much more coherent in his presentation

Holly was shown afterwards saying he was trying to teach Matt a lesson.

I’m curious as to what the lesson might have been that he was trying to teach. Was it that the wrestling business has jerks like Bob Holly in it who will take advantage of a kid and brutalize him like Holly did Matt? Was it Holly’s misguided attempt to tell the kid that he hadn’t paid his dues yet and didn’t deserve shortcut routes to the wrestling business like the one he was getting on Tough Enough? Whatever “lesson” Holly intended to teach, he succeeded in only one thing and that was embarrassing himself, his company, and his profession.

As Matt absolutely correctly pointed out, he thought being a professional wrestler was all about putting your trust in the hands of the people you are in the ring with. Every time a wrestler steps into the ring they are putting their lives in the hands of the people they are in the ring with. That’s what being a “professional” wrestler is all about trusting the other people you are in the ring with.
What Bob Holly did to Matt is inexcusable and unacceptable. It should never happen under any circumstances. Accidents happen, but this wasn’t an accident. It absolutely boggles my mind that Holly would try to justify what he did and that the burden was then put on Matt to just accept what had happened so he could earn respect.

– BOB Ryder, Friday

He was crying over a black eye and bruises on his chest from when I chopped him. This isn’t ballet. People are going to get black eyes and busted lips. I don’t know how many times I’ve had those in my career.

They made a mockery about what I did on Tough Enough III. They should be embarrassed. I’m not sorry for what I did. I don’t regret what I did. (When) Bob Holly is coming; I’m coming to be Bob Holly. I’m not going to change for anybody. They said they didn’t know what to expect when I got in there. If they were a fan of Tough Enough I or II, or wrestling in general, they would have known what they had in store for them when I got in there.

I didn’t have to do it; I wanted to do it,” he said. “And he’s going to sit there and cry over what I did? He doesn’t need to be in the business.

– Bob Holly, WWE.com

Well, that pretty much puts us at an impasse. On one hand, we have one of the toughest son of a bitches in the wrestling business saying “That’s life and if you don’t like if – f*ck off”. Other the other hand, we have a bunch of web geeks condemning him for making a fake sport real, not to mention some of the braver souls even calling Holly a “pussy” and a “bully”, claiming that he’s not a real man if he has to take advantage of the weak. Holly is in the business, we are not. Bob Holly does this for a living, we simply live vicariously through television and computers. So we are pretty much back to square one – an expert that does not no how to control himself vs. pseudo – experts that think that they have any say – so or control about what happens in a business they will most likely never be a part of, much less understand. So for the tie breaker, I would like to see what Holly’s compadres – his fellow wrestlers and co-workers – have to say about the whole thing

Oddly enough, a memo must have circulated as the company line appears to be “Holly went over the line” but not totally condemning his actions by qualifying their statements with “but this ain’t ballet”. Which would lead me to jump to the immediate conclusion that this is all a work and a semi-scripted angle that will revitalize the Tough Enough concept and most likely turn “Matt” into the next Tough Enough “superstar”. The set up is perfect – a young hopeful, dreamer who wants to show respect but gets punished by a miserable prick you resents anyone and everyone for his failure to ever make it “big” in the business. Talk about an angle that could make serious money – people are SUCKERS for the plucky underdog fighting against all odds. Hell, Maven is over due to the 5 seconds it took him to toss the Undertaker out of the Royal Rumble. But that’s probably giving Vince too much credit for planning ahead – what probably happened was Hardcore Holly took the opportunity to show the Tough Enough contestants first hand what I would imagine most wrestlers in the business probably feel – “f*ck you, you coddled punks, what you need is a stiff kick to the face to show you what reality is.” It’s not like this is anything new – read Hogan’s book, Foley’s book, Lawler’s book, the list goes on and on; there are times that things get a little rough and if you are a wise-ass, it can happen to you. One question I have is why didn’t Matt attempt to defend himself? Would * you * have just sat there and “trusted” someone who is legit beating the shit out of you? Or would you have, at the very least, done something about it other than crawling into a fetal position?

Which brings me back to Vince McMahon. This episode has more people talking than any I can remember in recent times. Sure, that whole “romance” some attention, but this show drew a new line in the sand. The Tough Enough trainers showed you a certain level of roughness before – but this was the first time people got to see what happens when things get a little out of control, but a lesson that is necessary to know if there is any hope to obtaining “WWE Superstar” status – which is precisely what Vince wants. It appears that Tough Enough will be his defining legacy – turning a ” nobody” into a somebody AND having the videotape archive to prove it. Do you think this doesn’t scare the shit out of the wrestlers not only currently in the business, but on the fringes- “paying their dues” at some American Legion in New Jersey? Was Bob Holly only acting out what everyone in the business is thinking? And is that a bad thing? Why are YOU so worked up about it? It’s Vince’s legacy, not yours.

QUADROPEDOPHLIA

“I am not a pedophile. I think pedophilia is appalling,” he said in the statement which was distributed by a woman to reporters outside his home in Richmond, south London.

“On one occasion I used a credit card to enter a site advertising child porn. I did this purely to see what was there”

– Pete Townshend, guitarist for the Who and all around legendary figure.

Why is he denying molesting children? It seems as though a tabloid in Britain ran a story about a “famous music star” being investigated for being a pervert. Pete realized “Oh shit, I’m writing a book on my childhood and am using child porn sites for research, not to mention the fight against child molestation in general the cops put two and two together and

“To fight against pedophilia, you have to know what’s out there”

Pete, talkin’ bout his g-g- general feelings on the issue.

I think Pete may have over-reacted on this issue. It’s common knowledge that Gary Glitter is the one that’s the freak, but I guess things are better disclosed rather than appearing to try and hide something. Hell, if Clinton had just come out and admitted to having a “relationship with that girl” he could have saved himself (and his fellow democrats) a lot of trouble and embarrassment. Same can be said for Nixon and Watergate. Or Justin and Brittany, who my kid hopes can rekindle their romance. But the genius behind a half-naked, deaf, dumb and blind, pinball playing YOUNG BOY decided that laying all your cards on the table is much better that getting caught with an ace up your sleeve. One more quote

(the Internet) will “subvert, pervert and destroy the lives of decent people.”

– Townshend, several years ago, predicting that it will be technology, not long haired, strung out, rock n’ rollers, that will bring the downfall of society.

Elvis and Waylon are dead, AXL’s a flake and Pete Townshend is a (alleged) pervert. When your only hero left is a British piano playing queen you might just want to give up. Guess I still have Willie. And Mick and Keith. Hey! It’s not all that bad. Good luck Pete!

Ah shit. Here is some more depressing music news

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE

Looks like the reports of Maurice Gibb being sick turned out to be true – he’s dead at age 53. For you young- ins, he was a member of the Bee Gees, who are best known for the sound track to the Disco decadence of the 70’s – Saturday Night Fever, which at last count had sold approximately 17 trillion albums. No shit, EVERYONE bought that album about 4 times. What is under-appreciated was the music beyond the disco stuff, which featured some of the finer love songs and harmonies of the era. But having “Jive Talkin” on you resume when you get to Heaven ain’t all that bad if that overrated shit-bag Morrison got in with his pseudo poetry, Maurice should be a lock. So to recap, Townshend is a pervert and Gibb is dead. And for the Flea bad karma trifecta, it looks like Bruce Fucking Springsteen is gonna sweep the Grammy’s this year. Not that it’s even an issue anymore – the Grammy’s are hardly relevant this day and age – it’s just the thought of another evening of kissing Bruce’s ass is not what this world needs. Or maybe it does – serves everyone of you right. I just hope they do a Bee Gees tribute.

ANOTHER WEEK OF THIS CRAP

RAW is somewhere and Smackdown was taped in Jersey expect PPV buildup on each of the shows

And do not forget that the TENTH ANNIVERSARY RAW SPECIAL is on TNN Tuesday Night! Live from the World, it’s a night of shits and giggles and well, who better to describe it than

THE PARANOID HOOLIGAN

.

Aw f*ck it. I wanted to quote something from Hyatte but I can’t find it. It might have helped if a certain cocksucker would have done what he was supposed to, but I ain’t even going there, yo. Move along and wake up, you’re asleep at the wheel

So anyway, the special is on and supposedly A WHOLE BUNCH of past and present Superstars will be on hand for the festivities and for your assistance, I offer you this

From my recap of the first “Monday Night RAW” – let’s see here… (most are mentioned as Royal Rumble participants in the Royal Rumble report and didn’t actually appear in the flesh, but let’s count ’em anyway)

Sean Mooney (unlikely, but it’d be a hoot)
Bobby Heenan (confirmed?)
Vince McMahon (guarantee it)
Randy Savage (highly unlikely)
Rob Bartlett (would be awesome – also highly unlikely)
Koko B. Ware (why not?)
Yokozuna (dead)
Steiner Brothers (Scott’s a gimme, Rick is unlikely)
Executioners (you could put anybody in masks in there, but wouldn’t it be great to actually see Dwayne Gill & Barry Hardy again?)
Razor Ramon (unlikely)
Tatanka (he’d do it for bus fare)
Max Moon (Paul Diamond – where’s he at these days?)
Shawn Michaels (yup)
Mean Gene Okerlund (sure)
Sensational Sherri (in my dreams)
Ric Flair (okay)
IRS
Bob Backlund (hope so)
Jerry Lawler (no doubt)
Mr. Perfect (unlikely)
Ted DiBiase (when hell freezes over, har har)
Crush (in Japan?)
Rick Martel (ooh, that’d be neat)
Mr. Fuji
Papa Shango (maybe as Godfather?)
Earthquake
Berzerker (YES! Oh wait – probably not)
Undertaker
Tenryu (hahaha)
El Matador
Typhoon
Samu
Fatu (Rikishi will be there)
Hacksaw Jim Duggan (HOOOOOOOOO)
Kamala
Reverend Slick
Damien DeMento (for Scaia’s sake, bring him in!)
Doink (We need ALL OF THEM!)
And I think Lord Alfred Hayes told us that promotional consideration was paid for by the following…

– CRZ! Over in Wienerville, clueing us in that a whole bunch of people * could * be there. You know, I would link you to the post if I had any kind of shame whatsoever, but the way I look at it, he Zimmermaned* my IWC 100, not to mention I am ahead of him on plugs by about 10 to 1. But right up there is a good list of possible RAW X participants! You only have a day left to ponder!

* Before all you numbskulls freak out – the term “Zimmermaned” does not mean I’m calling him a Jew. I KNOW that went through your closet anti-Semitic heads and you should damn well be ashamed of yourself. I would have normally typed “Bogarted” where I typed “Zimmermaned” but changed it because sometimes CRZ reminds me of Humphrey Bogart’s portrayal of Captian Queeg. So now you know.

In addition to featuring RAW Superstars both past and present, awards will be given in the following categories:

– RAW Superstar Of The Decade
– RAW Diva Of The Decade
– Shut Up And Kiss Me – On-Screen Romances
– RAW’s Greatest Matches
– Don’t Do This At Home – Crazy Moves
– Give Me The Mic – Funny Promos, Lines, Reactions
– Tell Me I Did Not Just See That – Shocking RAW Moments
– Network Difficulties – Edgy Moments You Never Thought You’d See On TV
– Fans Decide RAW’s Greatest Moment

The show has been expanded to two hours in length and looks to be fun, both on a nostalgia level and well ain’t it always nice to see all these guys having fun instead of taking things so f*cking seriously? Oh, it’s US that gets all bent out of shape at things!!! Anyway, my advice would be to tune in – maybe we can get Piper and Honky Tonk Man in the same room. Which reminds me

Nevermind. For some reason I am on the HonkyTonkMan.coms’s e-mailing list and have been kept abreast of the sniping back and forth between HTM and Roddy Piper – I think it has now escalated to lawsuits and all sorts of mean and nasty things. I would have re-posted the emails, but HTM’s site is FREE again, so scoot on over there and check it out for yourself.

THE LINKS ARE ON ME

Yeah right. Go read E.C. .

PAGE SIX

Now then- The IWC 100! For those of you that asked, it came out EXACTLY as I intended it to – suspicious errors and all. My only mistakes were omitting Seadawg, who kept the “steal from the newsletters” news reports alive over in CRZ land, not to mention running his Delphi forum, which must take more patience than Job ( the dude from the Bible not the action verb of losing a wrestling match. Jesus, “smart heathens” I would prefer “last call” to that.) So all apologies for the lack of Seadawg.

While I’m on the topic of Delphi

There was a thread over there about the IWC 100 and, oddly enough, many of the SAME PEOPLE that wrote me nice emails about the list TRASHED me on line. Not that I’m shocked, but Holy Shit, I am very tempted to include these emails here but will not just because you know who you are. And I do too. And to answer the one that said something to the effect of “Flea listed “?” he should do some research!” Well, that “?” is whoever put together “One Man’s Obsession Part II”. Up to you to find out who did it.

Enough of that moving along to Gamble – once again, sorry. Damn right you should be on the list and I can’t remember WHY you were not. “Well Flea, it’s because you f*cked up!”. That sounds about as right as anything I could say. Me no es Gabacho / Me no es maricon / Flea muy es macho / So now Flea sleeps alone. And to anyone else that I omitted next time!

And speaking of GRUT. Man, did he take it rough. In retrospect ah who am I kidding; I put you where I wanted to but the argument that Numero Uno said you were great doesn’t fly – but, if you think, it should tell you where FLEA’s place should be on this list. Glad everyone had fun with the list, look for the sequel next year, if we all survive.

And to cap it off, here is a special edition of some message board madness, just to see what various people had to say about this list. And me, for that matter here we go!

MESSAGE BOREDOM

– 99. Jeff Lynch – Being Jeff Lynch must be like having every sexual encounter you`ve ever had on video tape.

– And of course the greatest person ever is Chris Hyatte. Sure. The internet`s answer to Andrew Dice Clay. No talent, nothing interesting to say, but he cursed a lot, so he must`ve been cool and funny, right? Nobody from Scoops should be on that list.

– Any list with Hyatte at #1 is a fraud

– Being omitted from this is a blessing. You can just look at the top 10 and see what a blatant asskissing-fest it is; The last time I saw a swipe at 15 minutes this blatant, it was the Randy 100, and that had a lot more cred going for it than this.

– Oh, and who really gives a shit anyways? Not me.

– But what’s more likely to get me laid is that I rank ahead of Lance Storm.

– Didn’t this asshole read THUNDERWEAR either of the two weeks I did it? #83 was a fan.

– Hell, Flea should be on there if for no other reason than he actually put out an IWC 100. Everybody TALKS about it, but who’s bothered to DO it?

– I thought the internet wrestling community was dead. That list is f*cking hysterical, though.

– I can’t believe you dorks (in general, not just you, Mr. Weiner) are actually commenting on some kind of retarded newsmaker list that puts a second rate recapper ahead of the people who actually find and report the news. There are fundamental flaws here that cannot be overlooked.

– I disagree. If there was some attempt at reasoning we could follow, we could just decide it was horrible, and disregard it. Now, it has that mysterious “what the f*ck?“ vibe. It`s like driving along and seeing a Honda Civic stuck in a tree. Like, up in the branches. You see what it is, but you`re left trying to imagine just what exactly happened in order to get that Civic up there.

– i think Flea only did this so everyone would actully pay attention to him. I mean in the past he could’ve written news updates on his rape fantasies and who would’ve known? But he lists internet wrestling writers and now we all talk about it. i should od news updates on my rape fantasies.

– I`ve C&P`ed the list from 411Wrestling without including any of the explanations/ qualifications. Because it makes the complier look like (even more of) a fool. Other than that, Coey, Max and Zellner were robbed.

– If there is a list where J.J. Botter is more highly regarded than Justin Shapiro, then I wipe my ass with that list.

– I’ve been reading 411 for a while now, and I’ve been wondering about something… are Hyatte and Flea the same person? They use the same writing style and sentence structure, and they both have little quirks about thier style that just makes me think this.

– Sean Shannon should #1-25. God, when he was completely losing what was left of his grasp of reality, he manically vomited the greatest stuff ever written on the internet. Who could forget the poetry on Seanshannon.org or the stories about going to parties with theatre people? I wanted to drive to whereever he was and hug him and tell that everything was going to be okay. And how was his musical career and how much would you have paid for mp3s of those songs? I don’t think they print that much money.

– Of course, Warrior only 40??? That’s destrucity, dammit! DESTRUCITY!!!

– Oh lordy

– You’re ranked lower than Powell? SACRILEGE.

– Such as the fact that we’re arguing what a guy named Flea wrote.

– That list is so stupid and means nothing no offense to some, Dean and Phil your cool guys.

– There`s about 90-95 people on there that I don`t give a shit about. That`s all I know

– Man, those people in the Delphi forum are pissed. I really wish I could just get them all a beer

– You’d have to wait about 8 years for it to be legal with most of them…

– This is the most embarrassing list to be on ever compiled except like “100 Gayest Fags” which may as well be what this is

– To hell with Jericho. All he did was the message board equivalent of “trolling”. Now he is the Internet’s “friend” again. Fangol.

– Good Ol’ JR has made his disdain for the IWC very obvious so f*ck him and his stupid hat. The only reason he even bothers to post a Ross Report on line is because the WWF(E) finally realized that no one in their right minds would pay $1.99 a minute for a phone report, when a dude like Micasa would just transcribe the details and post them online. Not that I blame them for adapting to the growing Internet scene, but JR treats the Internet like it’s a bunch of overcritical queers who know how to type and make up rumors. So no, he ain’t on the list.

– They shouldn’t be Top 10 until they can keep 411’s site up for more than 3 days without a server crash or change.

– I think you should be #1, Scott, because I don’t see Hyatte with any crappy books.

– Well, shit yeah, of course this douchebag I never heard of has no right making that list, but, c’mon, who am I to comment on it, anyway?

– WHERE THE FUCK AM I

– Worst list ever.

* * * * * *

I think that sums it up

Be on the look out for SUV spells terrorism, why Yao Ming is a big chump, Flea going back to Philly? PAY MY WAY FAIRWEATHER FRED! and Clone me? You hardly even know me!

Because foreshadowing is a sign of quality literature

Thanks for reading THE MONDAY EDITION, I’m Flea.