The News Release 01.28.03

Welcome back to the lastest edition of the News Release. Hopefully, some of the wrestling fans made it over here, as I begged and pleaded with them to on Saturday. THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN WRESTLING YOU SONSABITCHES.

Nah, in all fairness, I do get e-mail from the same people on both columns, and I appreciate every piece I get. I do my best to respond if there’s something to respond to… either in e-mail or in the column if there’s something that warrants attention of everyone. I’m expanding my small fan-base with the news, I think. The slow takeover of the net is going according to my evil plan.

Actually, it’s Widro’s evil plan… but I have no problem going along for the ride.

It’s looking like this could turn out to be a turbo column this week, as I have to finish it on my lunch hour, and it looks like, for the most part, Marshall covered everything exciting yesterday, so lets get to rollin.

The End of Pantera?

Looks like it, at least for the time being. Dimebag Darryl and Vinnie Paul of Pantera have been working with a new band A New Found Power and are working on an album. According to Dimebag, Phil Anselmo and Rex Brown (the other two members of Pantera) have been shuffling Dimebag off when he asks what’s up.

I’ve seen Pantera live once in my life at Ozzfest, and they have a power about them that it’s tough to describe. Like, you KNOW you’re watching Pantera. They hammer you and don’t let up. It’ll be a big loss for the metal world if they decide to hang it up. However, with Dimebag in a band, you can bet the new band will be something to write home about, too. I can’t say I’ve ever heard of (or heard) the singer of New Found Power, but I’ll be willing to give it a listen when they come out with something.

New Godsmack

Thanks to a buddy, I got to hear a thirty-second snip of the new Godsmack single before they put it out. I gotta say, I’m not terribly impressed by it. Of course, it may just be because it’s only a thirty second snippet, but you’d think they’d send the best thirty seconds of the song for people to impress the radio stations. Like, when I Stand Alone Came out… I was like… “Aw f*ck yeah.” With this one I’m more like, “eh, ok.”

It could also be that I expect a lot out of Godsmack, because I really like them and have been impressed with them right down the line… more on this when I get a full listen of the song.

Online Marketing

Six of the largest music retailers in the country have banded together to form an online service to deliver music via the Internet. Best Buy, Tower, TransWorld, Virgin, Wherehouse, and Hastings companies are teaming up in an online music store called Echo. There weren’t any details in the article about how exactly it would work, whether it’ll be subscription based or whether it’ll be per download based, but it’s basically the six of them teaming up to survive the onslaught of piracy and the label’s new Direct Delivery system.

In case you didn’t know, music labels, over the past couple of years, have been trying to eliminate the need for third party stores like a Best Buy by getting their products straight to the buyer. This also comes on the heels of the price-fixing lawsuit, where the labels charged stores penalties if they didn’t charge a certain amount for each CD.

If it keeps up, you’re going to see a court case brewing, much like the one in the auto industry. Third party mechanics are basically gearing up to sue auto manufacturers for trying to put them out of business by doing things like voiding warranties if you take your car anywhere but the dealership for repairs, and even so far as refusing to release specs on how to even REPAIR some of the newer models.

However, if the recording industry can achieve some sort of vertical integration, then more power too them. Let them charge whatever they want for CDs.

Doesn’t matter, I don’t buy them anyway! I BURN THEM ALL!!!!! MUAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!

In all seriousness, this is just another variation on the Recording Industry trying to f*ck everyone like a two dollar whore. By eliminating third party retailers, they can basically charge whatever they want for a CD, because you can only get it from them. While, theoretically, it’s a good idea… eventually they’re going to push people over the edge. More and more go over the edge every day. A big bunch will go over the edge when a Multi-billion dollar organization starts going after 15 year old kids and 85 year old grandmothers who are exchanging songs. They think a NINE percent decrease in sales is something to worry about. I’m waiting… and I’ll enjoy every second of it.

Barbie Girl

The Supreme Court rejected an appeal by Mattel that the song “Barbie Girl” infringed on Mattel’s copyright for “Barbie.” Mattel claimed that song could confuse customers and dilute the power of the Barbie Brand, while MCA (the label for Aqua, who released the One Hit Wonder Song) claimed it was parody or social commentary and thus covered under the Fair Use policy.

The Court, without comment, upheld the ruling in MCA’s favor, made by a California Federal Judge.

MCA, on the other hand, was somewhat pissed they spent every cent Aqua ever made them on lawyer fees to fend off the Barbie folks.

Marilyn Manson

Helping to prove my theory that the music industry is faker than wrestling, Home Alone star Macauly Caulkin had to teach Marilyn Manson how to smoke a cigarette.

Manson plays a transvestite stripper in an upcoming movie Party Monster.

Yes, the Home Alone kid was a bad influence on the self-proclaimed Anti-Christ.

Thanks to the NY Post.

Welcome Back Machinehead

From The Man Himself Robert Flynn.

“All that I will tell you about the new MACHINE HEAD demo is that:

“THE GUITARS ARE FUCKIIIIIIIING BACK!!!!!!

“We’re talking B-I-G, fat, meaty, slicing f*ckin’ guitars. The type of guitars that have the painful frequency that hurts your ears, and rips your head off in sweet, sweet, painful bliss.

“Ahrue eat your heart out.

“FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

“We’re talking guitars like concrete slabs.

We’re talking drums like concussion mortars.

We’re talking bass so heavy it’ll make your testicles / ovaries ache.

We’re talking melodies so sad, and mellower moments so lonely, that you’re gonna weep tears of joy, in a fit of depressed glee, while babbling mindlessly with your thumb in your mouth, looking for your f*cking nook-nook.

“FUCK YEAH!!!!!

“We’re talking Molten Metal Hot Lava from the Super Satanic Sacred Volcano located in the Bowels of Fucking Hell!!!!!!!!

Or something……

“And…… even some LEADS are back. And not just any old leads, we’re talking 2 part shredder leads ……. IN HARMONY!!!!!

We’re talking sick, sick beats, with fills galore.

We’re talking Adam doing a bass riff so crazy, it’s done with Eddie Van Halen finger taps, and Cliff Burton wah-wah.

I call him Eddie Van Burton.

“FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

“UNLEASH THE KRACKEN!!!!!!!

“This shit’s like goddamn ‘Masters’-era METALLICA! … only slower … and not like METALLICA.

“FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

“In other news:

“[Producer] Colin Richardson absolutely ‘RULED’ the Live album. He made ‘HellaLive’ sound in-f*cking-credible.

“Plus, comin’ at cha’ soon, we have a kick ass video for ‘The Blood, The Sweat, The Tears’. Shot at the 2002 With Full Force festival, it was MH’s ‘first-ever’ headlining festival slot, in front of 20,000 + maniacal ‘HEAD’ fanatics, and it turned out really good.

“Last but not least,

We have listened to your requests, we have heard your pleas, and, we have heeded your advice. Soon, we will be having a ‘Studio’ section on the web site. With video footage, pictures, rehearsals, recording, snippets of new songs, weekly e-mail updates from the band, and bi-monthly video updates, that will essentially document the making of our new album from demos to album, with all the ups and downs in between. We are very excited about this, and want to thank everyone who pestered us to get off our butts and do this.

Thank you f*ckerz!

“FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

“AND (just so I can say “f*cking” one more time)

“THE RAIDERS!!!!!

ARE IN THE FUCKIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!

SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!

“WOOOOOOOOO – HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

“FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!”

Sounds good to me. Machinehead has never put out an album I didn’t like… even the slower stuff. More on this as it comes up.

Out Today

Zwan: Billy Corgan’s new project is finally coming out. The pre-release single is great… and Billy is almost too talented to disappoint. This will probably be terrific.

There’s other stuff, but none of it matters. If you buy one CD this week, buy Zwan.

In Other Reading

Cody with possibly the worst picture of AJ from BSB I’ve ever seen. If I had any question about the gayness of the BSB, this clears them ALLLL up.

Adam Wallis with Yet Another Top Ten list. ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY.

Matt Jones is your God and mine. Now read him.

Triple shout to Evocator, who’s got reviews here, here, and here. I’ve only heard of 1/3 of the bands, but just read it because it’s Evocator.

Aaron the Rapman with a Jay-Z review.

And Oasis is apparently still making albums, and Jeremie Brazeau has it covered. He also now Hates the Rolling Stones.

Phil McCann, on the other hand, Loves the Vandals.

In Closing

No weigh in this week… you’ll have to all wait with baited breath till next week, since I’m a day behind because of the Super Bowl. I’d also like to thank those of you that have sent in good wishes and advice. Hopefully it will all work out.

Jeff, Adam, Claire, James, and the other Tom coming up… and I’ll see you next week.

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