It is starting off to be a good weekend, folks. The Friday weigh-in was great news! My first 10 pound milestone has been reached! I am now 229 from a start of 239 eight weeks ago. That’s possibly the best motivation I’ve gotten so far. 10 pounds in 8 weeks.
YOU CAN DO IT, TOO!
And I know a lot of you have. A bunch of you folks have sent me encouraging things with your own personal stories of weight loss, and believe me, I read every single one of them and use them for my own motivation.
I may actually reward myself with Chinese Food this weekend, as I’ve been on hiatus from eating it ever since I started. Subway is the only fast food place I go anymore and I’ve eaten enough turkey subs to be considered Jerrod’s underling. Of course, I won’t have 85 pounds of skin hanging off me when I’m done either. *shiver*
I got to see Chris Jericho’s band Fozzy on Thursday, hence I missed Smackdown. You can read a concert review (of mine!) here.
Also, for the smart people out there who think that the No Mercy engine beats the holy crap out of the Smackdown Engine (and were pissed about the crap that was Wrestlemania X-8 for the ‘Cube Click Here to tell THQ about it. Make your voice heard!
And vote for No Mercy or WCW Revenge as the best game. Get that engine in their next game for your friendly neighborhood Daniels!
Mailbag
AOL User of the week: YOU WRITE THE WORST CRAP I EVER RED I WILL NEVR READ AGAN U JACKASS
You’ll be missed really.
Kevin Smith takes some time off from his busy Jersey Girl post production to write: I’m very glad to hear that you are avoiding the low-carb diet that many people will try to convince you of. Most people who go on these diets lose a lot of weight right away and then get discouraged when the weight loss levels-off a little bit. This is because they lose all kinds of water-weight (from epidermal-bloating caused by carbohydrates) and don’t realize that losing water-weight is different than burning fat. Also, once you are done with the diet, yes, all the weight will come crashing back. Besides, you’d be miserable trying to lose 50-lbs without eating breads/pasta/rice/cereal etc . . . a diet is FOR LIFE. If you don’t think you can maintain your diet for the rest of your life, then you need to pace your weight-loss slower.
Oh yeah – that, and a lack of carbohydrates can WRECK your kidneys, among other vital organs.
– Kevin.
P.S> I don’t know what your exercise plan is – but just a word of advice that a lot of people miss: don’t work TOO hard! Seriously! If you get your heart rate up too high, your body stops burning body fat and starts burning glycogen (because it can convert it to energy faster than bodyfat.) You should be working hard enough that you can’t sing, but you should still be able to carry on a conversation with someone. If you can’t put sentences together, you’re likely burning glycogen and that won’t help you lose weight at all.
Yes, low-carb diets are possibly the worst thing in the world for you. Any diet in which your body eventually starts consuming itself to stay alive = BAD. However, done to drop a quick ten or fifteen they can be ok. The problem is, people think they can stay on them forever and end up breaking internal organs. The body has to filter protein the same way as it filters alcohol out of your bloodstream. The thing with alcohol is that it eventually catches up. With all protein diets it doesn’t, and you end up wreaking hell on internal organs. Also, I did not know that working too hard was bad however I have yet to get to the point where I can’t speak. Thanks though.
Matthew Michaels from over in music points out: This is actually a case of actual storyline continuity. Big Show came out after Taker was giving his “Brock got the better of me, and really beat my ass at Hell in the Cell” speech post-PPV, and basically kicked Taker’s ass, throwing him off the stage and putting him on the shelf for 3 months. Taker’s recent return was aimed at getting back at the Big Show. So what do Heyman and the Show do? Hide. Instead of confronting Taker, Big Show has SAID he’d meet him in the ring only to leave the arena instead; sent Brian Kendrick out to sing an apology to him; and presented him with two gifts — Brother Love, his first manager, who tried to appeal to Taker’s compassionate side, and Kanyon, who tried to beat him up (unsucessfully).
I’m hoping to see Kanyon vs. Taker at No Way Out, with Chris pulling out a cheap win (maybe due to a Show return), and them continuing to build to Taker/Show at Mania. Taker’s Mania program last year was apparently written by Heyman (vs. Flair), and was great and had a nice, long buildup. Why not keep building for Show/Taker at Mania. Sure, we know who’s gonna win, but I’d rather keep Show and Taker in a bigman-bigman feud, and out of the title picture, for another two months.
Very true I forgot about that It’s so rare that the WWF actually remembers shit that happened three months ago, that I forget when they remember. Good call. As for Kanyon/Taker, I have no interest in seeing that, just because it’ll be ‘Taker squashing Kanyon.
A Rams fan, but we’ll forgive him: with the hiring of dreamer to creative, what are the chances he could be done wrestling. As you said the guy is a cripple, maybe he realizes this, and wants to move to an off air role, kinda like billy gunn recently becoming an agent, or Al Snow becoming a Tough Enough trainer who rarely ever wrestles. Its also possible he saw the cutting of Raven and D’Lo, who shouldve stayed in the announcer’s chair. He could see this as being his way to avoid release. Anyway I think itll be a good thing, as gerwitz hasnt been cutting it, maybe dreamer will also be someone who could actually stand up to HHH. Being an underapreciated guy himself, maybe hell be more prone to push opther underapreciated guys(RVD, Booker to the world title picture, or Richards, Storm on to a higher level than where they are now)
This is a good possibility. Dreamer obviously isn’t going to get pushed anywhere ever because he’s not homegrown WWF and all. However, I will believe it when Tommy comes up with a good storyline that puts someone over SonInLaw H and it goes through. Until then, it’s just another attempt that’s going to fail.
Jack: They didn’t exactly give a month’s notice that they were going to release Bull. It seems odd that they are giving a month’s notice of D’Lo’s release. You don’t think this is a storyline thing to play into D’Lo’s current angle, do you? It seems like it could be possible. I mean, usually it seems when the WWE releases someone, they do it quietly, ala Raven and Bull. Just a thought.
I think this would have worked nicely into the storyline, but it doesn’t look like it’s coming to pass. Looks like D’Lo really is Just Another Victim. However, having them work it into his new gimmick in TNA that I can totally see. Can NWA do a WWE hates blacks angle? Pretty much already have, and this will breathe new life into it.
On the other end, isn’t it cool how they dropped Bull Buchanan to give Cena a new partner and then the partner mysteriously moves from Raw to Smackdown, gets a new name and gimmick within a week and NOBODY MENTIONS IT? This cancels out any continuity rewards the WWE gets for the week.
If that doesn’t float your boat, how about Nicholas’s Conspiracy Theory: My theory goes like this:
Someone in WWE’s personnel department likes NWA-TNA very much.
Think about it. They start pushing Bull Buchanan, and then cut him out
of nowhere. Now say what you will about Bull, he has some potential.
He’s remarkably agile for a bigger man, has paid his dues more than once, and was starting to build up some heat towards the end there. However, he’s never really drawn a dime for the WWE, so he’s easy to cut. Well, let’s just postulate that this unnamed person is watching NWA-TNA one week, and thinks “You know, with the right push behind him, a match between Bull Buchanan and The Truth might draw some money”. (The irony behind this line of thinking is they could have had this match at one point, both the then-named K-Kwick and the RTC were active at Survivor Series 2000, a PPV I was unfortunately attending live.) So they cut Bull Buchanan, but surprisingly he is not picked up by the (arguably) #2 federation in the nation.
Well, this unnamed person sits back in their theoretical office and
starts thinking. Who do we have on the roster who’s got a great head for the business, both in and out of the ring, but we haven’t really done anything with since acquiring him in our roster? Well, Raven, of course. His soliloquizing promos and solid in-ring work have earned him a cult following who will watch him anywhere he goes, and he’s shown talent and humility as a booker in the past, writing storylines that would in fact call for him to lose from time to time. So this unnamed executive cuts Raven from the roster, and to the surprise of no one, he is picked up by NWA-TNA faster than you can say “Nevermore”.
Now we come to the matter of D-Lo. D-Lo has always been an excellent
worker whose career has been marred by one unfortunate incident. I know people who swear that the injury is entirely Drozdov’s fault, that he didn’t cinch in tightly enough with D-Lo during the move and thus D-Lo should hold no blame for it. Sadly, having worked in the ring for six months in my younger days, I can say that D-Lo was probably at least partly to blame for it. However, these things happen. A similair thing happened to Chris Benoit in Japan; only his quick thinking and athletic ability spared him from a similair fate. Well, this executive looks at D-Lo and thinks “You know, he’s a great worker who’s capable of doing a lot more than he is here. He’s getting a
little heat on him with this whole racist angle, I bet NWA-TNA could
use some of this.” D-Lo’s given his month’s notice and the Jarretts start writing angles for him.
Is it likely? No, not really. But is my version of the truth more
fun?
I think that speaks for itself.
No Way Out
Since it’s a PPV weekend, that makes the column lots easier. Lets take a look at the blow by blow for the upcoming event.
Matt Hardy vs Billy Kidman (c) for the WWE Cruiserweight Title: this match hinges on the “can Matt make weight†clause. See, he has to get under the cruiserweight limit for the match. So, this angle was introduced for one of three reasons. 1) So they can Dusty finish the belt back Kidman after Matt beats him or 2) they are going to make Matt look like a hardcore cheater and make it obvious to everyone but the other people in matches with him or 3) They don’t want to brand him “permanently†as a Cruiserweight, this making people believe he’s on the borderline between cruiser and heavy. Either way you look at it, I doubt Billy Kidman has any shot at winning this match, save for some screwy interference by Shannon Moore gone awry. That being said, I don’t think that Matt Hardy is going to win the cruiserweight belt either, because he isn’t (and should be) in the cruiserweight division. Shannon Moore is more the cruiserweight guy. I also don’t think that any of the ways this match could end would make Billy Kidman look good.
Winner: It doesn’t matter, but Kidman is going to retain the title.
Big Show vs Undertaker 2: What we ever did to deserve this. It’s one of the few things the WWF has decided to maintain their continuity on and it’s done nothing but make the Big Show, who is probably half a foot taller and fifty pound heavier than the Undertaker, look like a big pussy. Which is with good reason considering the “Big Show Push†ain’t gonna start here either and probably never will start cuz he’s still a WCW guy.
Winner: Taker.
RVD/Kane vs The Commonwealth Connection: I guess I don’t pay enough attention to this feud because it’s basically treated like an afterthought on Raw. The push with the Commonwealth Connection is still kind of going nowhere, but I don’t think they’re ready to give up on it quite yet. Besides, neither of these teams has anything to do for ‘Mania with the Dudley’s suspended. I smell a non-finish to this match. The only question in my mind is what the readers would prefer me to start referring to RVD/Kane as. Would you prefer “Team Spark It Up†or “Grassfire.†Email me to vote or email me with a better name.
Winner: Again, it doesn’t matter Commonwealth Connection retains the titles.
Jeff Hardy vs Chris Jericho: I would like to say I got the inside track here from Jericho this past Thursday, but that would be a lie. By the way he shook my hand, I predict Jericho via the tamer.
Winner: Jericho
Team Angle vs Brock Lesnar, Edge(?), and Christ Benoit: The ? is next to Edge because I’m unsure if he’s wrestling or not. If he is, I assume they’ll work some injury angle with him, since he’s supposedly having a similar neck surgery as Benoit and Austin have, which means he’s out for a full year (WAHOOOO!!!!). They should, theoretically, have him do a light match, and then get decimated by Team Angle involving ankle locks, chairs, and what-not. It’s much better to write someone off a show than to just have them disappear for a year with no explanation at all. Since I got Brock pegged to win the ‘Mania match, I think Team Angle goes over here.
Winner: Team Angle
HHH vs Steiner 2: Unless they’ve had Steiner doing straight cardio since Rumble, this one is going to suck as bad as the first. The title isn’t going on Steiner for Mania because “the heel MUST have the belt going into ‘Mania†and “HHH must always have the belt.†If the match with Booker T is really happening, then they aren’t transitioning the belt to Steiner for less than a week. I’ll pick HHH here with some help from the HHHorsemen.
Winner: HHH
Steve Austin vs Eric Bischoff: This match probably won’t be much of anything. It’ll either be a total offensive punch puch kick wham Stunner seeya, OR it’ll be Chief Morley comes out to help and they BOTH get punch punch Thesz Press punch kick wham stunners. Either way, it’ll barely be a match, but basically a tune up for Austin to do some Stunners.
Winner: Austin
Hogan vs Rock 2: The most expert man in the business for turning the crowd on him The outcome of this match really depends on where they have both guys going after this, but I have no problem believing it’s a random way for Hogan to get his pin back from the Rock following last year’s ‘Mania. If they’re planning on leading into Vince/Hogan for ‘Mania, then it makes sense for Hogan to pin the guy that Vince throws at him as an obstacle.
Winner: Hogan.
As an addenum to this, Vince is considering splitting the PPVs into brand-specific ones again and the only “joint†productions of both Raw and Smackdown being the Big-4 PPVs. Ashish didn’t seem to think it was a great idea whereas I think it is. The Brand Extension is going to work depending on how much pseudo-competition exists. Raw and Smackdown are no different now than before the brand extension. The more different the products look, the better things are in the long run. One problem is: they never work the brand extension into storylines. They advertise for one on the other, etc. Thus far, there’s barely anything different.
Splitting into separate branded PPVs is a step in the right direction, in my own dumb opinion.
What’s Left to Talk About
Word on the street is Booker T is getting the push to Mania to face HHH for the title. I’m torn between being excited about this for Booker and being “eh†because I have no faith in them putting the belt around Booker for any extended period of time. I think they should, don’t get me wrong but I don’t think they have 1) any faith in him and 2) the desire to put the belt on any Ex-WCW guys, regardless of how long they’ve been in the federation. And now, with HHH having more pull than ever in the locker room as the new son-in-law-to-be, I don’t know that the belt will EVER come off him for extended periods of time.
If I was Vince, the first thing I would do is remove HHH from the active roster because it’s only going to become more a problem after the marriage (if it happens). The ONLY person in the McMahon family that has ever been willing to consistently look bad is Vince and Shane. Steph does not look bad, ever, and I’m 50% willing to bet that Raw is being booked into the ground on purpose so Steph’s Smackdown looks better all around. People in the back aren’t THAT stupid to not realize what’s going on with Raw think about it.
Vince has to realize what has happened over history when family gets pushed as huge wrestlers. If I was Vince, I would immediately job the belt of HHH and get him functioning in some sort of backstage role. It’s the best for everyone. He wants to be part of the booking committee so much fine let him, but he should not be wrestling anymore. They got by without Austin with Austin returning, they could get by without HHH, because HHH isn’t half the draw Austin was. Get him in the back, because Steph cannot book him to lose and if someone else writes the show, then Steph will use her pull to keep him from looking bad. It’s not a good way to run business. The problem with having family in high positions is that you can’t fire them when they f*ck up. Putting them in creative start there.
According to Meltzer, Goldberg is closer than ever to signing with the WWE. Well, gee, thanks, duker. Pretty safe news story to run with no details, considering he was technically closer than ever after just speaking to Vince McMahon last month. Once again, I will say that, unless they can sign him to a full schedule, it is a waste of money and time. And again, Goldberg is NOT going to come in without Hogan’s old clause of “reasonable creative control†which translates into “never losing.†Goldberg is not what the WWF needs right now, it’s writers.
In Other Reading
Scott Keith in the columns section with a new Ask 411. Letawski’s out?? Why wasn’t I notified? I never get the memos anymore.
Ron Gamble who, according to Grut, Is Not Dead.
Dino Zucconi, who got lots of flame mail last week thanks to me, talks about the Return of Big Goddam Van F’n Vader.
In Conclusion
Thoughts and Prayers to the people who were lost in Rhode Island. Hope Hyatte got through it all untouched, both physically and mentally. As for me, I’m off to measure the rooms in my new house!
Till next week.
