Since I did indeed watch a WWe pay-per-view for the first time in months, I figured I’d treat you guys to a special double-sized column this week. This also gives me a rare chance to write about some of my favorite SmackDown! performers.
We will skip the readers’ picks section as well because the result was unanimous – the gum-swatting tribute to Mr. Perfect by Chris Jericho was such a reader favorite that readers were nominating it before the column was even written. A very small but very classy gesture that said a lot.
So what did you think of No Way Out? In gerneral, I thought the show was a very entertaining show despite it not being an exact display of technical ecstacy. A couple of wrestlers really went beyond the call of normal duty to entertain the energetic fans in Montreal and they will be mentioned below. Overall, I walked away feeling like I saw a good show for the time/money/effort spent in watching it and as always, the little things were a deciding factor. So, here is a special Little Five for No Way Out, 2.23.2003:
1. Rock On
You really have to take your hat off to a true performer like The Rock. From the moment his new Hollywood-themed entrance hit, Rocky bombarded the viewers with little thing after little thing to elevate his heel character and the rivalry between himself and the Hulkster. Without using notes, I recall the following:
– I think I’d piss my readers off if I did not mention the wincing facial expressions that effectively conveyed the disgust Rock had for Hogan and the fans in Montreal.
– Interacting with the fans to establish heat. My favorite piece of crowd interaction in particular was when a fan touched him on the shoulder while on the outside. I really thought Rock was going to turn around deck him.
– Using Hulk’s own mannerisms against him. How could you not laugh when he donned the bandana and belt and went on a lashing spree against the Hulkster’s back? I can’t tell if that was my favorite spot or the Hulk Hogan pose/People’s Elbow on the second go around.
– Stopping in the middle of the lashing spree to drink some bottled water. Just priceless.
– Stalling done correctly. By this I mean, stalling to make the wrestler seem intimidated by the crowd and his opponent thus ratcheting up the heat, as opposed to boring the crowd and making them restless.
2. The Quick and The Dead
Despite the entertaining match, my good friend Bill of the Harvard education still wanted a quick count from the fake ref to cement the screw job. Definitely a good call, although I give the WWe creative team credit for coming up with a halfway interesting method of screwing Hogan and executing it flawlessly.
3. Mattitude Adjustment
I’ve wanted to write about the progress of Matt Hardy for a very long time, so I’ll live for the moment, as it were. Unlike his brother or either of the Dudleys, Matt has managed to create a character for himself that is wholly distinct from the tag team persona he previously carried. Matt has had a lot of little things working in his favor to do it and the reason I love them all is because I cannot help but notice the striking resemblance to Chris Jericho’s old Nitro persona. Pardon the repeated bullet points, but the evidence shows:
– A wrestler willing to negotiate the cruiserweight weight maximum in entertaining ways. The furious pedaling on the exercise bike skits on SmackDown the past 2 weeks are still making me laugh.
– A lackey that is the butt of jokes and a diversion during matches. Granted, Shannon is no Ralphus, but then again who is? Anytime Matt leads Shannon to the wolves, it is a victory for old-school heel tactics. While we are on this subject though, Shannon really needs to work on those top rope trip-up sequences as it looked like he plain fell off the apron at the end of the Kidman/Hardy match.
– Calling one’s fans MFers is ironic and over-the-top enough to be very catchy if given a chance. I could see it on a t-shirt as easily as I see Jerichoholic on the shirt hanging in my closet.
– When Hardt knocked Kidman down and did jumping jacks in front of him to demonstrate his newly-found athleticism, it reminded me of the C’mon, Baby! expressions we used to get from Jericho and the muscle flexing we are currently getting from him.
– Now, a run with the cruiserweight title where hopefully he will stoop to hilarious levels to retain his precious title.
Let’s not forget the factoids we get every match, too. In sum, I watch SmackDown primarily to see what he and John Cena will do and say next.
4. Ready to Brock
Brock Lesnar’s entrance theme has really grown on me. I can’t tell if it’s the blood red video imagery in the background, the Goldberg-esque music or the methodical jogging in place of the giant Lesnar, but when I’m trying to psyche myself up at the gym, I’m using this as motivation now. So it must be working. You can assume that myself channeling Brock is as funny as it would seem.
5. Identity Crisis
I will try not to be too hypocritcal here, because it is a delicate point I’m trying to make. I was very entertained by Vince McMahon as he watched his plan unfold and mocked a fallen Hulk Hogan after his match vs. The Rock. However, there is only so much improper booking I can take. How can one character be the toast of the audience, thowing the hated Bischoff to the biggest wolf in the industry during one match but then stand over one of the most popular performers currently going in the federation during the next? At some point, the confusion in Vince’s character could lead to confusion in the storylines and potentially damage a money feud at Wrestlemania, which in the end, would result in a net loss of entertainment value. Then again, I guess if anyone in WWe is big enough to put himself above the face/heel dynamic, Mr. McMahon is first in line.
Stephanie McMahon also was an offender (at Edge’s side one moment, allowing his teammates to face Team Angle without a partner the next) so I guess she is second in line. This, my readers, is symptomatic of a problem that runs across the entire company – some people have the ability to play by their own rules.
For those readers asking for some Austin input, don’t worry it will come as I assume he is a RAW performer for the time being. Speaking of RAW though, let’s continue the expanded column with a look at the Little Things for the 2.24.2003 edition of RAW:
1. Shouldering the Load
I breathe a huge sigh of relief as I write this, knowing that the arrogant, over-the-top Randy Orton character still exists. The idea that he was really concerned about throwing out his shoulder after hurling Goldust into the fuse box was just as funny as his declaration that it popped back into place and is 99%. I am ready to buy him and Batista as a tag team contender, so long as they strictly adhere to defined roles – Orton as the sneaky mouthpiece and Batista as the intimidating muscle. Ganging up on faces like Goldust is also a trend that should continue with Booker T up next in their crosshairs.
2. Don’t Be Shocked
I’ll use this space to put my credibility on the line and make a small prediction: Goldust’s nervous tic angle is going to produce some laugh out loud segments in the future and help him maintain his position as a strong face. Call it intuition or call it blind faith in a character I’ve enjoyed, but I believe Dustin has the personality to make this quirky feature entertaining.
3. Blown Away
It was very nice of the writers to finally put the charisma and mic skills of the Hurricane to good use. It helps too that he had a natural performer like the Rock to play off of. From this we can truly see what makes The Rock great – he can simultaneously create personality in other wrestlers while getting his entertaining personality across. In the battle royal, the underdog Hurricane character that used to attempt chokeslams on larger wrestlers rose out of the ashes of midcard jobberdom and provided us with a very enjoyable exchange in what is typically a plodding affair. Let’s not forget too, the vignette that set it all up, especially the guitar segment, Hamburglar comment and Brendan Fraser comment, which the Rock sold like a million bucks. Special effects, indeed.
4. Balls to the Wall
Recently, Jericho’s heel character has been as hot as it has been in years. Little things like flexing his muscles at the crowd, waving them off haughtily as he steps into the ring, repeated use of handcuffs, putting a beautiful woman wearing a Maple Leafs jersey in the Walls of Jericho while in Toronto, and running away like a coward from said beautfil woman’s boyfriend are making his impending match with HBK a must see.
5. Water, Water Everywhere
To complete a column that may as well have been dedicated to The Rock’s heel character, I cannot state how ingenius it is to employ little devices in order to establish a character. Nothing screams Hollywood arrogance more than taking cell phone calls and water bottle breaks, especially during matches. HHH has nothing on Rocky in this respect.
With the return of the star power and Wrestlemania closing in, WWe seems focused on producing entertaining segments and executing the requisite little things to accomplish this. It certainly helps that said star power could teach classes on providing details that make for interesting characters and wrestling matches.
I’m enjoying what I see for the most part and I know this because as I wrote this column, I realize I could’ve written many more entries pointing out things that were well executed (except for the Nowinski mic mishap, which is really starting to get on my nerves). So, feel free to drop me a line and make your own calls for next week’s column.
See ya.
