I guess if you have come this far, you might as well as hang on till the end. Hi ! I’m Flea and this report news report covers the time frame of No Way Out Sunday through Smackdown spoilers Tuesday Night. Most of it anyway. Included are also updates on Eric S. , Chris Hyatte and the upcoming “launch†of 411 Mania, which, if you read my interview with BOSS last week, you will know of the big plans that are on the horizon, and to hell with the rest of you IWC scum. Quick note to Elvis Foley. THAT is what PK was talking about. His “no more†was a very subtle hint at what I’m going to pound into everyone’s heads throughout this report – 411maina is coming.
Did you ever stop to think that Phil Ochs was right?
Everybody’s coming back, don’t worry
PRIMARY PARABLES
Some crowd. Attention fans of Montreal: you can’t claim to be “smart†by booing Steiner and chanting “you screwed Bret†and then turn around and cheer for Hogan like a bunch of ugly sheep. BAAA! And what is everyone’s problem with ANOTHER screwjob in Montreal? If it’s booked right, which last night was, then what’s the problem? Because it’s been done before and the idea is stale, and stale means the writers are creatively bankrupt. Following that alleged logic, why is everyone asking for the return of THE FOUR HORSEMEN and still pining away for Cruiserweight division that will never succeed? I LIKE the Montreal concept – it puts a history behind double-crossing the good guy and creates an aura for shows in Montreal that “something wrong is going to happenâ€Â. Is that the reason why that was one of the best wrestling audiences I have seen in years? I can’t compare the Montreal crowd last night to a Wrestlemania show, if only because of the size difference, but as far as normal arena shows go – that sure beat he hell out of those jackoffs in places like Cleveland, Jersey and ANYWHERE around New York and Philly. It really redeems my opinion of the wrestling fan when I see people still go crazy stupid over a wrestling show instead of paying $40 to sit on their hands or chant for the local hockey or baseball team. But as mentioned above, they only read half of the negative and bitter bullshit that permeates the net – STEINER SUCKS ! Boy, we READ about this guy! Look at him SUCK! SUCK! SUCK! – which is not true this time around. This match was 100x better than the Rumble match – but the Canucks got confused – they rag on Steiner but then go back into ULTRA MARK mode when HHH slapped Hebner around. Smart money says this is the end of the road for Steiner but I doubt that people love him when he’s NOT working matches, my advice would be just go ahead and make him Commissioner – he wouldn’t have to wrestle, just jap-smack people every once in a while and then speak for 20 minutes a show. THAT’S entertainment!
So Steiner ain’t going anywhere. Booker T on the other hand, is in a quandary. Last year, he did an interview saying he would only be in the business for “two more years or so†and time keeps on slipping into the future. This looks to be Booker’s chance to once again grab the bulls by the horn, as word on the street is he will be chasing HHH’s title up to and including Wrestlemania. Good for him and I hope HHH is healthy enough to keep up his end of the deal. I’m sure this will be an off-debated topic up until that time – but HHH will “put Booker overâ€Â. And again at Backlash. Of course, that’s all speculation – but so is HHH’s “political manipulating†while stories of who * really * has the power circulate the net as everyone seems to be concerned about the welfare of Paul E. Heyman.
15 websites, 4 message boards and a buddy of mine who stopped over for afternoon joints and beer by the pool (79 today!) are talking about Heyman’s “demotionâ€Â, which Da Meltz says is “carny†for “demotion†huh? Anyway, Paul E. has been removed as lead writer for Smackdown in lieu of Brother Love and some dude from the ECW Arena in what appears to be “personality differences†with more important members of WWE – namely Kevin Dunn; the head of production, guru and by most accounts 2nd in command right behind Vince McMahon. In other words, if he doesn’t like Heyman, Paul E. changes his job title to “consultantâ€Â. Which is exactly what happened. Surfing around for commentary on the subject, people (once again) are cow-towing to the Little Heyman that Could as he (once again) battles for truth, justice and pushes for Benoit and Hardy against the evil hierarchy that appears to be anyone who doesn’t agree with him.
Think about this the next time you (or anyone else) blindly defends the genius that is Paul Heyman. He has burnt just about everyone he has ever done business with, including close friends and family, has mortal enemies on three continents, and is universally despised by everyone in and out of wrestling, except for a handful of brainwashed loyal followers and the Internet Wrestling Community. Smackdown has been on a strong run, supposedly due to the “writing†of Paul Heyman – but Jesus ANGLE, BENOIT, EDDY, BROCK, HARDY, CHAVO, ETC etc it’s three of the best workers in the world and a whole buch of wrestlers that can keep up with them enough to put together match after match of quality action – compared to a “competition†that is doing corspe f*cking and has their “main event†featuring two guys too crippled to do anything but “punch and / or kick, with the obligitory suplex now and then. It seems like a no-brainer that Smackdown would rule. Heyman knows how to book good angles, but that’s like driving a Ferrari – who cares if you are the worst driver in the world and run into curbs on a consistent basis the car will STILL get you laid. Whatever the role of “consultant†to the RAW and Smackdown shows is (I have seen it described as anything between “watching the show after it airs and provide feedback†to “one step away for the unemployment line), don’t worry about Paul Heyman – even moreso that Kevin Sullivan, he is a “phoenix†– always rising out of the ashes, just when things look bleak. And note to Kevin Dunn – you’re one to talk about sub-par work. How many PPV’s in a row did you miss the 1,2,3 finish? Why did it feel like I was in Tijuana (bbq’d iguana) for the first few minutes of RAW a couple weeks ago? WHY WAS JIM ROSS ON FUCKING SMACKDOWN BACKSTAGE calling the matches into an earpiece, telling Michael Cole what to say and Smackdown is a post-produced show! I could go on and on, but my point is constructive criticism is sometimes necessary and having nothing but “yes men†usually means the light at he end of the tunnel is a train. Just ask Vince. Either one of them.
Also of interest on the PPV was the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin. I, for one, was glad to see him, as he is my favorite wrestler not named Cactus Jack. He looked good, beat he hell out of Bischoff and even better yet let Eric get absolutely NO offense in, save for a half-assed eye rake and a back leg front kick that was promptly rung up as NO SALE! ha ha ha ha great match. What happens from here is pretty much anyone’s guess, and that’s what most people are doing at this point. I wouldn’t mind seeing Rock vs. Austin again, anything to keep Bill Goldberg away. “Closer than ever to signing†is what I’ve read – horseshit. Especially if it’s true. More Austin, all the time and I will predict a 4.5 rating for this Monday’s show! At least one of the hours.
Did I mention the hell of a match from the Undertaker? I guess it depends on your frame of mind, but I mark out more for UT’s dive over the ropes than ANYTHING else that night – including Austin. You may or may not agree with that, just quit trying to convince me that oh f*ck it. Overall, a very enjoyable PPV, loud and rowdy (if really confused) Montreal crowd and a much better effort than last month as we are only a few weeks away from The Big One. Start placing your bets.
JIVE TALKIN
It seems to be one of those times where everyone in the wrestling business has something to say! From various recaps of radio programs around the net, here’s a roll call of who is saying what
Justin Credible on fashion and politics –
-On his choice of dumping the jean shorts, HHH mentioned something about losing the look. And Credible agreed and chose to “look more like X-Pac, hindsight 20-20 I would have done a lot of things differentlyâ€Â. “They pulled the reigns back on me big time, I wouldn’t have changed my outfit. I went there with a sense of respect to the locker room and the boys because I started there when I was 19 years old. I went in there way too timid for where I’ve been and what I’ve accomplished. I am a nice guy out of the ring, and let that get me because I wasn’t aggressive enough in getting what I needed, as far as backstage stuff. I didn’t assert myself the way I should have.†When asked if HHH has as much power behind the scenes that the Internet has reported, and if he could have used his friendship to get a better spot, Credible says “I think so, I never went that route, I always believed I could do it on my own steam. I hate to be labeled a kiss-ass, I was friends with Hunter when we were on the same level and he was doing the bow. He was no big deal, we were both on the opening match, and I didn’t want to go there. It’s not like I’m too good to kiss ass, I’m just not good at it.â€Â
Justin Credible on his relationship with Paul Heyman:
“I don’t have one with him. The relationship wasn’t the same, then again business is business. There’s certainly no heat, I think I pissed him off somewhere though. I think he had bigger toys to play with when he got to WWE, I think I was a big fish in a little pond in ECW.â€Â
Shane Douglas on politics:
Shane said two reasons he always has heat in the business is because he doesn’t sit back and let people control him and he has never acquired a taste for kissing ass
Shane Douglas on Paul Heyman:
Shane said he was grateful to Paul Heyman for the Franchise character but did not deserve the 140,000 dollar kick in the ass when he left ECW.
(Quick Flea note: see what I mean about Heyman? These two guys would probably not be in the business had Paul E. not revived their careers. And they hate his Jewish f*cking guts. And YOU’RE defending him?)
Stone Cold Steve Austin on relationship with his co-workers:
I’m getting a fine reception. There were a couple of people who either I pulled aside or they pulled me aside, and we kind of buried the hatchet with stuff that went on. Like I said, I did what I did, and so be it. Some people can understand that, and some people aren’t going to understand that, but that’s just the way it is. We’ll see how everything goes from here.
Stone Cold, on drinking beer:
That was non-alcoholic beer. From what I hear, there was a little flack coming from the office down in San Antonio, saying I shouldn’t even drink non-alcoholic beer because it’s sending out a bad message. Non-alcoholic beer is non-alcoholic beer, in my opinion. That being said, we’re not looking to ruffle any feathers with a little beer drinking. We’ll get by without it for a while, and when that time is over, go back to drinking the beer.
Austin on dealing with creative slumps in t-shirt creation:
We just pumped a shirt out for this pay-per-view. Yeah, I’ve got some good ideas. I was just telling someone today, hanging around the fans – because I’ve been doing these back-to-back appearances – and then seeing the camera guys and sound guys that I always hung around with at the TV tapings, and of course the boys, I’m starting to feed off the adrenaline again. My brain’s starting to click again, starting to feel like, “OK, here we go.†Ideas just pop into my head.
Stone Cold on not being as talkative as he used to be when things were not so bad:
I don’t know how toned-down this interview sounds, but I’m just kind of hanging out for my first match back. I’ve tried to cover as many bases as I can on the areas that you asked. I’m not trying to be vague; there’s a lot of things now that I don’t care to go back over, and a few things that I can’t talk about. I know that sounds pretty ambiguous, but that’s the way it is.
RAW IS WAR
Before we get started with this – why do I see more than one person complaining about WWE’s use of pyro in wake of the tragic fire that burnt down a jerkwater club in Rhode Island? I’m failing to see the connection – kind of like the blurry lines between “tribute†“insensitivity†and “down right morbid behaviorâ€Â. Why is Chris Jericho cheered for the “gum swat tribute†when all that did was remind me that Mr. Perfect is just another victim? Why are the Owen “tribute†videos always met with such glowing praise? It seems odd a simple act like the fireworks starting a WWE show (like the last umpteen times, forever) is so vile as to be called “tasteless†and “not respecting the tragedy that happenedâ€Â. Of course the same thing occurred when “Bodies†was pulled from the Fed theme music rotation on account of 9.11. I thought THAT was bullshit, but I could at least see some people points of view – sympathy and respect. But complaints about pyro or even the idea that pyro should not be used means to me that you (or whoever) are taking the side of the club owners, as they attempt to pin the blame on a washed up Rock and Roll band.
As you may or may not know, I hate (emphasis HATE) lawyers. I know I have readers that are in the law profession and appreciate you reading, but do not apologize for that statement. Hell, I hate my own lawyer and he’s been a family friend for thirty years. It’s not my fault that he (or you) chose a scumbag profession. But I do know the law and the court system fairly well, so allow me to slip into F.LEA BAILEY mode and present to you the following
– Mr. Club Owner, could you please explain to me how a bar can practically burn to the ground in 10 seconds and still be up to code?
– Mr. Club Owner, have you actually * seen * the “pyro†these bands use? A child’s sparkler would do more harm.
– Mr. Club Owner, have you ever been around a grinder, possibly sharpening a shovel, and been witness to the amount of sparks that fly off the tool in question like a Fourth of July spectacle? If you haven’t, those sparks also do not harm the human flesh – although if you let them ignite an oily rag, or maybe a piece of ragged out insulation, you better know how to dance the Charleston or, at the very least, Shuffle off to Buffalo, because you gots FIRE!
That’s all I would ask. Hopefully the jury is made up of 80’s rejects attempting to hold on to the youth of their teenage years as well as attempting to hold on to their fat old lady while not spilling their beer. Yeah, guys like that. And Chris Hyatte.
THIS JUST IN – watching the news tonight, apparently an employee of said club warned of the trouble with the “firecode†and “safety of the building†it’s on like neckbone.
Back to RAW – Okay this was pretty good – FINALLY the Rock points out the fact that fans are stupid for falling for the “Foley cheap pop†gimmick! And he did it to a Canadian crowd! Ha ha ha! Of course, the Rock was childish and an asshole, kind of like people who write things like:
“OH YAY ME! I’ve been a Rock fan forever and yippee now that everyone is jumping on the “heel Rock†bandwagon I can say that * I * was there all along!!!â€Â
Whatever. You guys should grow a set of balls. Like this
“Heel Rock is so much more interesting.” Gee, glad to see that people are starting to say the SAME FUCKING SHIT I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE PAST THREE GODDAMN YEARS! Look, no one cares about the match. The only thing people care about is whether or not I’m going to start calling Flex by that Other Name because he’s ostensibly turned heel. There’s only one possible answer: not yet. There’s not enough evidence in at this point. Some completely bizarre shit can happen like the previous encounter at WM last year, where the alleged creative team were caught off guard by the audience turning on Flex. Who knows what the hell’s going to happen if the marks start cheering Flex, whether out of sincerity or the fact that mass brainwashing takes longer than a few weeks to wear off? So if Flex’s pending heel status survives this match and he gets an encounter against a face at WM while still maintaining his heel promo style, then I’ll change. As for his opponent at WM, dear God, let it not be Austin again. Three f*cking times? Talk about creative bankruptcy. However, isn’t Kevin Nash due back right about now?
Winner – Again, no one cares about the f*cking match, just about what I’m going to call Flex
– Eric Szulczewski, No Way Out Rasslin Roundtable
Right on.
HEY! It’s Mrs. Trish Hyatte! She looks pissed at Jazz but relieved that Hyatte was not turned into ash by the lame pyro from a washed up band. Good to see her back!
In a weird twist that could only happen in wrestling, Mrs. Trish Hyatte is removed from my screen and replaced with a bunch of dim witted, half – inebriated skanks. Girls Gone Wild – have some f*cking class kids. 80’s porn is so much more enjoyable. And tasteful.
That’s about all of RAW I watched. Some reports made it sound like a great show, while others made it sound like horseshit. I had some kind of analogy about HHH not being their combined with Austin and .just remembered what it was
Wasn’t it nice of HHH to take the night off to let Rock have the spotlight all to himself?
FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT STAR RATINGS, RATINGS IN GENERAL AND THE FRENCH
From Reuters –
LEADING FRENCH CHEF COMMITS SUICIDE
The pronouncements of France’s mighty food guides have always been able to make or break a restaurant in this food-obsessed country.
But the critics themselves faced criticism Tuesday after top chef Bernard Loiseau was found shot dead in an apparent suicide following the decision by the renowned GaultMillau guide to cut its rating for his flagship restaurant in Burgundy.
A self-styled perfectionist who once said he wanted to be to food what Brazilian (news – web sites) star Pele was to soccer, 52-year-old Loiseau was found dead at his home in the Burgundy town of Saulieu Monday afternoon, his own hunting rifle at his side.
Police sources said an autopsy later Tuesday would establish the circumstances of his death. While few doubted any other conclusion than suicide, GaultMillau vigorously defended itself against the accusations flung its way saying Loiseau had other problems.
Police provided no immediate details. Famed restaurateur Paul Bocuse said his friend was devastated with the 17 out of 20 awarded to his Cote d’Or establishment in the 2003 guide, down from the 19 out of 20 score of last year.
“I think GaultMillau killed him. When you are leader of the pack and all of a sudden they cut you down, it’s hard to understand. It hit him hard,” Bocuse, high priest of sophisticated “nouvelle cuisine” cooking, told LCI television.
A good rating by GaultMillau or — the ultimate accolade — three stars from its illustrious rival the Michelin guide, is guaranteed to boost sales for any restaurant in France’s rarefied world of haute cuisine.
Michelin has recently taken to announcing its ratings ahead of schedule to cut off rampant speculation over the winners and losers in its guides.
“The critics play with us,” Michelin-starred restaurateur Jacques Lameloise told Le Parisien newspaper.
“They mark us up, they mark us down. I think that’s what made him crack.”
Loiseau was among a handful of established stars who saw their scores docked by GaultMillau in its 2003 edition published this month. One critic welcomed the downgrades as an injection of reality in a “world brimming with overblown egos.”
* * * * *
Now that’s taking people’s judgement a little harsh. But in a way I guess I’m committing suicide, but only on the installment plan check this one out, also from Reuters –
Teens, Heavy Drinkers Drink Half U.S. Alcohol-Study
The alcoholic beverage industry relies on underage drinkers and adults who drink too much for about half its sales in the United States, according to a study released on Tuesday that the liquor industry blasted as sloppy and manipulative.
“Alcohol is a premier drug of abuse in America, and sales to children, underage drinkers, and alcohol abusers are a critical component of the alcohol industry’s profits,” said Joseph Califano, president of Columbia University’s National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, which produced the report.
The study concluded underage drinkers and alcohol abusers spent about $57 billion in 1999 on beer, wine and liquor — nearly half of the industry’s $116.2 billion in sales that year.
Califano said the center took pains with its analysis after a mistake in a similar study a year ago forced the authors to withdraw their claim that teen-agers accounted for 25 percent of the U.S. alcohol market. The error prompted several media to issue corrections and triggered an outpouring of criticism from the liquor industry.
SLOPPY WORK?
“Our position is that this is just another attempt by (the center) to manipulate data to get sensational headlines,” Lisa Hawkins of the Distilled Spirits Council said.
“They selectively went through three different data sources to choose the figures that best serve their position,” she told Reuters. “Their work is sloppy, it’s that simple.”
Califano responded in a telephone interview that researchers aimed for “the truest estimates possible” after last year’s gaffe, and subjected their results to the “most rigorous peer review we could get.”
The report, which culled data from three surveys covering more than 200,000 people, was published in this week’s issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association. The AMA is a vocal opponent of binge drinking.
The study said underage drinkers accounted for nearly 20 percent of U.S. alcohol consumption in 1999, or $22.5 billion worth of beer, wine and liquor.
Adults defined as heavy drinkers — those who consume more than two drinks a day — accounted for 30 percent of alcohol consumed in 1999, spending $34.4 billion, it said.
The report linked underage drinking to adult abuse, stating that those who begin drinking before age 15 are four times more likely to become dependent on alcohol than those who do not drink before reaching the legal age of 21. It said 78 percent of high school students have tried alcohol.
The industry group countered that the study mischaracterized excessive drinkers as any adult who drinks more than two drinks on a given day, a level considered “moderate” under federal dietary guidelines.
To that, Califano, a former U.S. secretary of Health, Education and Welfare, responded, “the most revealing thing about their attack” was that it “reveals their interest in selling people more than two drinks a day.”
MILLIONS OF ABUSERS
An accompanying editorial published in the journal called alcohol abuse one of the most serious U.S. health issues.
“More than 8 million U.S. individuals meet the diagnostic criteria for alcohol dependence and an additional 5.6 million meet the diagnostic criteria for alcohol abuse,” wrote Glen Hanson of the National Institute on Drug Abuse and Ting-Kai Li of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.
The report said alcohol is often a contributing factor in the leading causes of teen-age deaths — accidents, murders and suicides — and it is blamed for adult illnesses ranging from liver disease to stroke.
Califano called on the industry to fund an independent foundation that would coordinate research and a public information campaign to combat alcohol abuse.
* * * * * * * *
Well, Goddamn.
HOLY SHIT!
Just surfing for stuff and at BOB’s site, I found this –
WWE POSTS $26.7 OPERATING LOSS FOR 3RD QUARTER; CLOSES WORLD
The WWE released their third quarter financial results today and showed a $26.7 million operating loss for the quarter versus an operating income of $8.5 million last year.
The loss included a charge of $32.9 million related to a revaluation of good will and long-lived assets at the World, the entertainment facility located at Times Square in New York City.
The company announced the restaurant portion of The World would close effective immediately and that the retail store would close effective April 27, 2003.
And then this from Reuters
STAMFORD, Conn., Feb 25 (Reuters) – World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. said on Tuesday it swung to a fiscal third-quarter net loss as revenue slipped and that it would close its restaurant in New York City.
World Wrestling Entertainment reported a net loss in its fiscal third quarter of $16 million, or 23 cents a share, compared with a year-earlier profit of $9.4 million, or 13 cents a share.
Revenues in the quarter ended Jan. 24 fell to $95.6 million from $100.2 million a year earlier.
The company said it expects full-year 2003 revenues will be between $370 million and $375 million, with full-year earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization of between $42 million and $45 million.
Full-year operating income from continuing operations is expected to be between $27 million and $30 million.
Boy, I tell you what. I also read the financials over on the business wire page and this ain;t good news. It’s by no means the end of the world (ha! Hey GRUT! It * is * the end of the WORLD! THE WORLD is closing! Ha ha ha Flea Rules) – WWE appears to be picking up the pace going into Wrestlemania – which will end one fiscal year and begin another. The estimates look good for this fiscal year and they have found pots of gold overseas, as their stateside “fans†remain as fickle as ever, for this upcoming year. But at this point – this is big news the conference call is tomorrow and I think I’ll call in this time. The number is over by the phone and bottle of Grey Goose. That’s me, knucklehead. YOU can find the number over on the 411 newsline. Maybe I’ll get serious and do some financial and business talking next week – if only in honor of the LAUNCH OF 411MANIA! I’m sure the businessmen here at 411 want to talk some business for their big premiere, so I will most certainly give them the business. 3.3.03 is the magic date kids! Be here!
This has to be some kind of cruel prank
Some hillbilly restaurant in North Carolina is selling French Fries, sticking a couple little plastic American flags on them and calling them “Freedom Friesâ€Â? And people are coming from MILES around (680, one couple) to pay money to eat “Freedom Friesâ€Â. Which are French Fries with little American Flag sticks in them. Viva la Cuba~!
God will make sure that Robert Blake is found innocent and according to newsources, Great White has cancelled their remaining tour dates. Mysterious ways is right!
PAGE SIX
Wake up! 3.3.03 is the big date. 411Maina is here! Historical happening assist your near pants pissing excitement! Here’s what’s been going cooking on various 3.3 dates over the years .
Let’s start with birthdays!
1823 William Macy “Boss” Tweed corrupt NYC political boss
1924 Marlon Brando Omaha Neb, actor (Superman, Godfather)
1942 Wayne Newton singer (Danke Schâ€Ân)
1944 Tony Orlando NYC, singer (& Dawn-Tie a Yellow Ribbon)
1961 Eddie Murphy Bkln NY, actor (SNL, 48 Hours, Beverly Hills Cop, Raw)
1968 Sebastian Philip Clerk Bach Bahamas, rock (Skid Row-Psycho Love)
1972 Jennie Garth Champagn Ill, actr (Kelly Taylor-Beverly Hills 90210)
TONY ORLANDO!!!!
And some DEATHS
1936 Bruno Hauptmann convicted Lindbergh baby killer, executed
1946 Lt Gen Masaharu Homma (responsible for Bataan Death March), executed
1950 Carter G Woodson “father of black history,” dies in Wash DC at 74
1882 Jesse James shot dead in St Joseph Mo by Robert Ford
As Archie Bunker would say ” A Kraut, A Jap, A Spade and a regular American. That’s what I call balanced!â€Â
And in HISTORY
1868 A Hawaiian surfs on highest wave ever, he rides a 50′ tidal wave
1908 Frank Gotch wins world heavyweight wrestling championship in 2 hrs
1936 Al Carr KOs Lew Massey on 1 punch, :07 of the 1st round
1936 Shortest boxing bout with gloves lasts only 10 seconds
1974 Gold hits record $197 an ounce in Paris
1975 Bobby Fischer stripped of world chess title for refusing to defend
1975 James Rupers kills his family to inherit
1981 Arnie Boldt of Saskatchewan jumped 6′ 8.25″, with 1 leg
and finally, the THOUGHT OF THE DAY
” Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door. “
3.3.03
You know, I just thought of something. Last week, I explained a few things announcing the contest winner (who has claimed the prize, sorry Earl) and OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD typed a SIX DEGREES OF RYDER FAKIN. Now, I know not * all * of you are Eric’s readers, so what’s the deal? Not ONE letter, saying “Hey Flea, that was coolâ€Â. Or even telling me to “f*ck offâ€Â. I don’t know how some of you sleep at night, much less get up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror. Fangol!
THE PARANOID HOOLIGAN
Cooking steak and eggs Saturday morning, my wife asked me
Desi: Hey, did you see the news about the club in Rhode Island burning to the ground?
FLEA: Great White?
Desi: Yeah. Do you think Hyatte is okay?
FLEA: who?
(Ha ha ha .just kidding!)
FLEA: Yeah he’s alright. You know how my luck is. Remember that club that burnt down in Chicago? And that guy they were wheeling in the ambulance giving the “thumbs up†sign the same clip showed over and over and over?
Desi: Ha haha I saw that!
FLEA: That was the only cocksucker in Chicago that owes me money. Some people have more class than to die in a fire. Pass the Grey Goose, please.
What? You thought I forgot about that “Joe Rivett bet?â€Â
From a phone conversation last weekend
FLEA: So check out this word association from my interview with Widro .Flea “Hyatte†– Widro “flaky†/ Flea “Netcop†– Widro: “wittyâ€Â
HYATTE: BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR BLAHR
So yeah, he’s coming back around three weeks or so.
SCREEDS FROM THE CURMUDGEON
I received a nice letter from Eric S. the other day, basically detailing his life status, all in a creepy third person context that would put the Rock to shame. Long story short, it looks like 3-11-03 is the date of return. Good, I say. Eric also wanted me to pass along the following message .
6) Now you can say that Eric S. contacted you. Eric S. wishes you to pass along LUV to GRUT!, Daniels, Ashish, and all the guys in features and the rest of the sections.
6a) Eric S. got more drugs from the shrink, which explains the above.
Yours, Eric S.
He’s doing very well, it appears. And as mentioned, Hyatte is also apparently on his way back, over / under = 3 weeks (as always, bet the over), so it appears that things will be getting back to normal, just in time to ride the wave of 411MANIA! which is such a coincidence because it’s the time of year when Flea goes to the beach!
This is The Mid Week News, I’m Flea.
