Till My Head Falls Off 02.27.03: The Killer Crossover

For Your Listening Pleasure
Alanis Morissette – Jagged Little Pill

Remember when SHE was taking home all the GRAMMYs? How about last week’s featured FYLP artist, Lauryn Hill? Now think: where are they today? Sorry, Norah. You’ve been cursed. And you might actually be for real. Isn’t it ironic?

In honor of Alanis, Lauryn, and Norah’s careers, this week’s column is going to be a bit short (yet full of promise and potential!).

News to You
According to Billboard, country singer Johnny Paycheck died in his sleep on Tuesday at the age of 64. He was suffering from emphysema and diabetes, and passed away in a Nashville nursing home. Paycheck is best known for his 1977 hit song “Take This Job and Shove It,” and probably the coolest name in all of country music.

The Killer Crossover
I just noticed something rather interesting over on TheTripwire.com. Apparently, CBS, television home to the 2003 NCAA Tournament, is putting contingency plans in place, in case March Madness coincides with an Iraqi war, which obviously would get priority over the college basketball games. According to CBS president Sean McManus, if major war developments occur during the broadcast of the tournament, there’s a good chance games will be pre-empted by breaking news, with the games being broadcast on one of Viacom’s other TV stations: MTV, VH1, or TNN.

TNN would be a natural spot for the games, with the re-positioning of the channel on most cable systems alongside ESPN, TNT and other networks known for showing sports, along with its recent re-branding as “The New TNN” that caters to the demographic most likely to tune into sports coverage. Hey, anything’s better than “Star Trek: The Next Generation” as a lead-in to their professional wrestling, slam ball and robot wars programming.

But MTV and VH-1?

I know MTV rarely shows music videos anymore, and is even the home of World Wrestling Entertainment’s “Sunday Night Heat” and “Tough Enough” series, but c’mon now. Where’s the “cool factor” that will draw the TRL Kids in? How will CBS’s production team spice up the tournament to fit in with the rest of MTV’s regularly scheduled broadcasts? Oh, and where’s the music come in?

I’m not saying sports and music don’t have a natural link. If it wasn’t for the convergence of the two forms of entertainment over the years, we would have never had such memorable events as:

– Justin Timberlake getting his ass handed to him in celebrity basketball games in Philly;

– Cyndi Lauper teaming up with Captain Lou Albano during the mid-eighties’ “Rock ‘N Wrestling” era; or

– Master P trying out for the NBA… year after year after year….

At least the “Rock ‘N Jock” softball and basketball games have had live performances by groups such as Smash Mouth, and play-by-play from “Remote Control” star Ken Ober to give the games some MTV authenticity. I don’t know if I can stomach the inevitable “Dick Vitale: Cribs” or “Making the Team” starring Bobby Knight. Maybe we shouldn’t go to war after all.

Festival Update
No big news with the major rock festivals this week, but I did come across some sad, yet utterly bizarre, commentary from the always articulate Fred “I hope we’re all in agreeance” Durst, care of LimpBizkit.com:

“i am horrified at what happened to the innocent people who were burned to death at the great white concert recently. i feel so much sadness inside because of it. how could such a thing happen? especially when it could have absolutely been prevented. it is so important to make any concert a safe place for fans to be. we have had our own terrible exsperience with a similar situation in australia a while back. i believe that it is our resposibility to provide you with the safest most secure conditions when you come to our concerts and i pray that every club owner, tour promoter, venue security, and band will learn from this horrible incident. i want to create some sort of benefit for the families of the ones who were lost. it feels right to get involved because i am a musician, i love music, and i love going to concerts. that could have been any of us!! fortunately it wasnt and we can come together to help not only cause awareness to prevent anything like this again, but to help the people who are sincerely hurting from their loss. if you feel the same then please call 310 865 7671 and let the world know how you can help. this really got to me. i mean it. i am so sad. it hurts me to think of it. i cant bare to think that i wont try to make a difference this time. thanks for listening. we can help. i know i can.

fred”

Okay. First off, I also share in Fred’s sadness about what happened. All tasteless jokes aside (“Who knew Great White had so many fans?!”), it truly is a tragedy that anything like this could happen, especially when you realize how avoidable (read: how stupid WERE the people in charge here?) the situation was.

But he’s going to have a benefit concert? As if Fred’s spewings about war, not to mention his relationship/non-relationship with Britney Spears, didn’t destroy every last hope Fred had of being taken seriously… Will ANY bands take him seriously when he sends out invitations to this benefit, laden with misspellings and horrible grammar?

At this point, not even Spellchecker can help him.

Fun With Spellchecker
Speaking of Spellchecker, let’s see if anything good comes up this week:

What I typed: Lauper
Spellchecker’s suggested replacement: Pauper. Now if THAT doesn’t say it all….

See you all next week!

peace. love. moe.

– Matt

Till My Head Falls Off can be found weekly on 411 Music (old columns are archived in the pull-down menu below). Already hit everything on 411? You can find more from Matthew Michaels at moodspins and 1-42.

Matthew Michaels is one of the original editors of Pulse Wrestling, and was founding editor of Inside Fights and of Inside Pulse Music.