Welcome to the Happy Birthday To Me Edition of The Bootleg! Now, my birthday-proper isn’t actually until Sunday (and I have to share the day with twin brother), but I’ve got a nice lil’ four-day party planned. Tonight, it’s dinner and a movie with the wife. It’s usually a high-priced meal at some pretentious place by the water. This year, I wanna pace myself.
San Diego isn’t exactly known for its BBQ joints, but Phil’s (and if you’re ever in town, you’ve gotta try it) is pretty damn good. That and the new Chris Rock movie should be a good start. Saturday afternoon it’s a BP Pizza Feed with other obscenely fanatic baseball fans. On Saturday night, it’s the big-ass bash with the friends at Gordon Biersch. The family makes the trek down from LA on Sunday, so it saves me from wasting some of that $2.15/gallon gasoline that we have out here towards a trip up there.
Finally, it’s the home opener for the San Diego Padres on Monday. The gates open at 9:00 am and the tailgating/eating/drinking shall commence at 9:01 am. Ditching work for a day has never been more fun! Sure, the Pads will probably be in for a long, long year, but it’s baseball, so it’s all good. Besides, I’m an A’s fan and after three first-round disappointments, me thinks this is our…ah, why jinx it.
Now, drink in the goodness that is The Bootleg, won’t you?
The New Ginuwine Album Has Got Me Thinkin’
R&B playa Ginuwine has targeted an April 8 release date for his new album The Senior. Scheduled guest stars include Sole, Tweet, Baby, Snoop Dogg, Method Man and Missy Elliot. OK, I have two questions. Question #1: Am I the only one who thinks Tweet looks like Gary Payton without his goatee? She tries to play the sex symbol thang and I just ain’t feelin’ it. Still, I confess to being intrigued by the lesbian overtones to the No Panties video featuring Tweet and Trina. Question #2: Next to Puffy and Nelly, is there any less talented (yet more paid) rapper than Baby? Discuss.
The McCartney World Tour Continues
Paul McCartney continues to top himself at every turn. He’s now scheduled to headline the largest concert of his career with an appearance at The Via Appia in Rome. Officials are expecting close to 500,000 fans for the (wait for it) free show. While I admire the drive and desire of the hardest working Beatle, I seriously question whether or not gathering a half million people in the same place is wise in this terror-happy world we live in. Hell, The Super Bowl is secured like Fort Knox and they only draw about 70,000.
Bravehearts Continue a Bad Trend
All of this protégé rap must stop and it must stop now. The Bravehearts have been swinging from Nas’ sac for a few years and appear ready to release their debut album (creatively titled Bravehearted) on May 13. Why can’t acts like The Bravehearts, The St. Lunatics and D-12 just be happy for the success of their respective mentors? They all should just be wildin’ out in the background of videos throwin’ up their hoods. You know, kinda like Puffy did while Biggie was still alive. Oochie Wally, my ass.
Led Zeppelin Is Getting Back Together…Kind Of
Rumors persist that a Led Zeppelin reunion is in the works for later this year. Jimmy Page continues to deny these rumors, but anyone who recorded a duet with Sean Combs for the Godzilla soundtrack has no cred with me. Fans can look forward to the Led Zeppelin DVD on May 27 and a live album, How The West Was Won, shortly thereafter. I’m sure Scott Keith will have you covered on the DVD review while the man of 1,004 reviews will cover the CD. Just a hunch.
New 50 Cent Videos
The juggernaut that is 50 Cent continues to roll on. This weekend he will begin shooting the next two videos from his multi-platinum debut. The first one will be for 21 Questions and features my boy Nate Dogg with direction from Dr. Dre. The second video shoot will be for Many Men. 50’s newest video (Patiently Waiting) is just starting to work its way up the chart. It will be interesting to see how 50’s career parallels the last rapper to make such a splashy debut, Snoop Dogg in 1993. Legal troubles kept the Doggfather from recording a follow-up for three years and by then, many of his fans had moved on.
Dissed by a Grown Man Named Toby
It’s always fun watching yokels turn on one (or three) of their own. The slack-jawed Toby Keith lobbed some bombs at The Dixie Chicks during a show in Huntsville, Alabama (Bobby Eaton’s hometown!) last weekend. Specifically, he targeted the one who made the anti-Bush comments. Poor Natalie Maines was then subjected to her image appearing on a giant video screen side-by-side with Saddam Hussein. Nice to see a law-abiding, red-blooded American citizen compared to a psychotic dictator. Very classy, Toby.
Snoop Makes a Wish come True
Here’s one for your “All Rappers Are EVIL!” file. Fellow Long Beach native, Snoop Dogg has granted the wish of a terminally ill teenager in Ohio. Branson Walker is suffering from a fatal kidney disease and through the “Special Wish Foundation”, he was able to meet the D-O-double G, attend a taping of Snoop’s MTV sketch show and received a platinum and diamond cross from the rapper.
It’s Jennifer Grey and Ashanti on the Undercard
What happens when a washed-up actor teams with a talentless rapper? Let’s find out together when the video for Reign makes its debut! Ja Rule has enlisted Patrick Swayze for the video, which will reportedly be loosely based on the all the drama that has surrounded Ja’s Murder Inc. label over the past few months. Swayze plays Detective Fitzgerald who is described as “an overzealous police officer”. I guess Tom Berenger and Treat Williams weren’t answering their phones when Ja came calling for them.
If You Hate The Dixie Chicks, The Line Forms to the Right
Those three broads are making a long list of enemies, aren’t they? First it was a good chunk of their fanbase, now it’s PETA. Apparently, the corn-fed divas had participated in a photo shoot for the animal rights organization in protest of animal fur clothing. However, The Chicks management has asked that the ads not be run citing the shocking fact that many of their fans are deer-hunting, heavily-armed banjo pluckers. I hear that the gals were photographed in the nude, save for some seductively placed musical instruments. So, to the ladies’ management group, I say, “thank you”.
Y’all say “Cares”, when I say “Who”!
I guess I’m a little out of the loop on the hip hop social scene. It seems that Jay-Z and Beyonce have already broken up and reconciled since I first heard about their little Beauty and The Beast fling a few months ago. Man, that beer commercial with Jigga is pretty damn bad, isn’t it? If you haven’t seen it, Jay-Z portrays one of the world’s ugliest rappers and an “actress” plays his girl. He gets up off the couch and rifles through the fridge, passing up the high-end wine and champagne for a Heineken. It’s the longest 30-second spot ever.
A Delayed Puddle
Puddle of Mudd fans will have to wait a few more months before they can pick up the group’s new CD. Life Of Display was originally supposed to be out next month, but now the release date has been pushed back to August or September. The reason being given is that three more songs were to be added at the last-minute. John Kurzweg of Creed is producing the album. I really hate news items that I can’t think of a joke for.
Scarface Targets 50 Cent
Texas rapper Scarface, who has released a handful of critically acclaimed albums in his career, has leaked a diss track about 50 Cent. Snitch N**** covers the persistent rumor that 50 sought police protection from members of Ja Rule’s crew in exchange for information. This is a surprising development, since Scarface (despite the Tony Montana name) is usually above a lot of the gutter exchanges that go on in the game. A cynic might think this was designed to get his name into the minds of casual rap fans (see: Benzino). An opportunistic rapper? The hell you say!
Christina Aguilera, NBA Groupie
Christina’s new song Fighter will be prominently featured in the NBA’s “Love It Live” ad campaign. It’s scheduled to debut during the nationally telecast game between MJ’s Wizards and the Boston Celtics on April 6 on ABC. The ad will feature the barely-dressed star along with highlights of Shaq, Yao, MJ and a bunch of highly paid cats in shorts and corn rows. There’s also some contest where you can enter for a chance to meet Miss Aguilera and Justin Timberlake. Check out nba.com for details. For the love of God, please don’t.
The Stones and Mariah do Asia…or not
The Rolling Stones have cancelled a pair of concerts set for Hong Kong this weekend due to the mysterious flu-like illness that has swept the region. The disease has been rapidly advancing to pneumonia for those who’ve contracted it. Surely, decades of casual drug use and groupie sex has destroyed the immune systems of Keith Richards and company, so better safe than sorry.
Mariah Carey, on the other hand, is going full speed ahead with a tour of Japan later this year. I was really feelin’ the chubbier, wigged-out Mariah who had the nervous breakdown on MTV a few years ago. The sensible stick woman look, just didn’t do it for me. It’s just more proof that mental health is very overrated.
General Haberdashery
Cocozza banishes Evocator from his Kingdom, but not before one last EM filibuster.
Mike Blast has your review of the album you’ve all been waiting for (no, not Nate Dogg).
Claire is our answer to Yahoo Serious (or “I know those words but that sign makes no sense”).
Rhett wishes death upon another man. It’s just music, dawg.
Junk Mail
The response to last week’s debut of the junk mail segment was phenomenal. A hearty Bootlegged “thank you” to all those who took the time to write, as I received over FIVE times the feedback than all the other previous Bootlegs combined! You may recall that I covered the best diss tracks ever.
Most of the responses were of the “How could you leave out ___________?” variety. The most mentioned track, by a surprisingly large margin, was The Ripper Strikes Back by LL Cool J. The sentiments of many were echoed by my boy E.I. who wrote:
Nice, nice, sweet, sweet column. I’ve got to say LL Cool J’s “The Ripper Strikes Back ” is one of the top diss tracks I’ve ever heard. Sure, LL’s doing more posing than rapping nowadays, but he served Canibus something terrible on this track.
Through the magic of Kazaa, I gave the track another listen. While a pissed off LL is a good thing on the mic, I think I was justified in leaving it off the top five. It definitely has its moments and basically killed the career of Canibus before it ever started, but it wasn’t Top Five-good.
Among others in the reader’s “Honorable Mention” lists were some of the previously unreleased Tupac disses and Eminem’s mixtape grenades at Benzino.
This week, the postmark comes from the Dirty South as reader Ethan Ralph asks:
Hey man I enjoy reading your reviews and was just wondering who the top rapper is in your mind. I would have to say mine would be Tupac Shakur. Biggie is close but his catalog of music pales in comparison to that of 2pac.
This should guarantee a few more pieces of hate mail. Just send the flames to the address below. Here’s my top five in order.
1.) Tupac Shakur – No one covered as many sub-genres of rap as well as Pac. He could be socially conscious like on Brenda’s Got a Baby, promiscuous on How Do You Want It, vengeful on Hit Em Up, political on Letter to the President, partying on California Love, emotional on Dear Mama or prophetic on If I Die 2Night. His current releases are dated, but haven’t hurt his legacy.
2.) Notorious B.I.G. – The greatest storyteller ever, Biggie never had the opportunity to stray too far from the gritty street tales he spun. He was a wonderful lyricist and painted the most beautiful and tragic pictures of ghetto life.
3.) Eminem – Forget the color of his skin, it doesn’t matter who makes up his fanbase and I don’t care if he pisses you off. He’s released three albums, each better than the last. As a rapper, he’s not boring us with talk of bling-bling, Escalades or commercials for tennis shoes. He’s just a great lyricist, plain and simple.
4.) Nas – I can forgive some of his late ’90s work. When he’s on, it’s like listening to the work of a young intellectual blended with the wisdom of someone who’s seen 100 years of life.
5.) Snoop Dogg – He’s not what he was when he first debuted 10 years ago, but if you compile his best work and put it up against the likes of others in his field, you’ll find he’s not just comparable, but, in nearly every case, better.
Good luck to all the men and women serving in the Middle East. Please hurry home.
