Grut Vs. Daniels 04.11.03


VPJG: Welcome to a brand new Grutman vs. Daniels! Sorry we were gone for awhile, but Daniels vanished off the face of the Earth.

Kaisen316: Yes, I moved and changed my name.
Kaisen316: Then Widro fired me.
Kaisen316: Three times.

VPJG: But now he’s back! And, disregarding the gigantic pile of horse crap that was Grutman vs. Widro (what I wouldn’t give to work with him again), this is our second column!
VPJG: Because Daniels won the first one, he gets to choose the topic.

Kaisen316: Hmmm, let’s go with HHH: Time to play the game, or go back from whence you came? Basically, top heel or shit heel?

VPJG: I like a challenge. Against my better instincts, I’ll go with top heel.

Kaisen316: Please, fire the first shot my fiction writing friend

VPJG: “Fiction writing friend”? Well, I am a fiction writer. You got that much right.

Kaisen316: Fine: Kaisen316: Please, fire the first shot you fiction writing douchebag

VPJG: Much better. Now then, HHH is not the best in the business. He’s not as good as he once was. But he can still antagonize the crowd and his opponents.

Kaisen316: Yes, but booing because you hate a guy and booing because you’re bored of him are two different things
Kaisen316: He gets Earnest Miller heat nowadays.
Kaisen316: That would be the “Get the f*ck off my screen” heat

VPJG: Okay, you’re talking about pre-commissioner Miller, cause he was funny for a while.
VPJG: How do you tell the difference?
VPJG: Are you in every arena in the country where HHH appears?

Kaisen316: I can tell the difference because New H makes me want to turn the channel
Kaisen316: And I’m a pretty common wrestling fan

VPJG: You’re a pretty ugly wrestling fan.
VPJG: Sorry, I forgot I can’t mumble on AIM.

Kaisen316: That may be.
Kaisen316: All wrestling fans are ugly

VPJG: You’re telling me. I think we might very well be the biggest collection of ugly people the world has seen.
VPJG: But HHH is beautiful.
VPJG: He has played a different kind of heel in his past three feuds. The Internet calls him boring, yet he’s always changing.

Kaisen316: But he can barely move in the ring anymore
Kaisen316: I won’t argue that HHH was once a great heel

VPJG: We’ll get to that in a moment. Vs. Booker, he was the cocky racist proved wrong.

Kaisen316: But he hasn’t been interesting since they revealed he ran down Austin.

VPJG: You’re cutting off my point. People complained in our first column that you kept cutting me off. They want more me!

Kaisen316: No complains about wanting more you
Kaisen316: But continue

VPJG: “No complains about wanting more me”? Who’s no, typo boy?
VPJG: Now then, Vs. Booker, he was the cocky racist proved wrong.
VPJG: Vs. Steiner, the underdog.
VPJG: Vs. Michaels, the evil former best friend.
VPJG: That’s the impression that I got. I’m a pretty common fan to, and he got all three of those characters across to me.
VPJG: You may speak now.

Kaisen316: Orrrrrr, he was the same character in each one of those. The evil prick who never fuggin loses. Ever, even when he should. Everything pointed at Booker winning that match.
Kaisen316: And for God’s sake, look at what he’s done to Stephanie!

VPJG: I don’t want to drag backstage into this, because you’ll lose.
VPJG: And he beat Booker because HHH is a proven commodity. Booker is not.

Kaisen316: Booker is not? How can he prove himself if they never give him the chance. That belt was his opportunity to be “something different” for the WWE right now and they flushed it
Kaisen316: You know why HHH is still the champ? Two words: Ox Cock

VPJG: Let’s say I don’t have an argument for that. Let’s say I don’t care about Trip’s penis size. Does not losing to Booker T make him a bad heel or a bad person?

Kaisen316: A bad heel… simply because a GOOD heel knows that he has to lose every once in a while or he loses his inherent heelyness

VPJG: So, Triple H never loses?

Kaisen316: I didn’t say that

VPJG: He has been pinned twice by Booker in the past two months.

Kaisen316: OK I did say that but that’s not what I meant
Kaisen316: He has to lose matches that mean something. Getting pinned in a tag team match doesn’t mean anything
Kaisen316: A heel has to cheat to win.

VPJG: Then what the hell does Flair do?

Kaisen316: NOTHING
Kaisen316: That’s the problem

VPJG: Flair cheats all to hell!
VPJG: In his latest championship run, I don’t remember Angle cheating much to win.
VPJG: Except when he beat the Big Show for the title with the help of Brock Lesnar, and Angle was a face then. Does Angle suck?
VPJG: Is Angle a bad heel?

Kaisen316: Did Angle lose the belt? Yes… would he probably have even if he wasn’t going out for weeks?
Kaisen316: Yes

VPJG: Did you believe that Booker could beat HHH at Wrestlemania?
VPJG: You said you thought he would.

Kaisen316: I thought he should have, yes

VPJG: That’s not the question. Did you think it was going to happen?

Kaisen316: Not really

VPJG: I don’t believe you! I want the truth! You little fart in the wind, DID YOU THINK HHH WAS GOING TO LOSE THE TITLE TO BOOKER AT WRESTLEMANIA?!

Kaisen316: Booker had no shot

VPJG: Well, let’s see about that.

Kaisen316: Oh you punk

VPJG: Would you mind telling the fans the name of your Saturday column?

Kaisen316: It is called “The Weekend Hotline” available exclusively on 411wrestling every Saturday

VPJG: Lovely.
VPJG: Do you remember writing Wrestlemania predictions in this column?
VPJG: Well, do you?

Kaisen316: Yes I do
Kaisen316: And I believe I said I thought no one would win

VPJG: You do? Thank God. I couldn’t find them. I was bluffing.
VPJG: Where’d you write them?

Kaisen316: I believe I said Trippa H would win

VPJG: Where are they?

Kaisen316: I quote me: The Clique Trique win at the PPV and then lose the next night to the smaller audience.
Kaisen316: HA

VPJG: That is so vague!

Kaisen316: If you haven’t figured out the net thingie yet, Mr Grutman, I can’t help you

VPJG: That could mean anything!
VPJG: Anyway, there was a point here.
VPJG: I’d like to direct you to the Wrestling Roundtable.
VPJG: here.

Kaisen316: Ok

VPJG: Good people, no?

Kaisen316: Theoretically

VPJG: Yeah, I don’t trust Nate Stein either.

Kaisen316: Seriously
Kaisen316: Now, you said something about a point
Kaisen316: You are boring my readers
Kaisen316: I’m the only one who gets to bore my readers

VPJG: And did you know that Brad Jennette has this fetish for zebras?
VPJG: Sorry.
VPJG: The point.
VPJG: Make your way down to the Triple H vs. Booker T match.
VPJG: 8 out of 14 people picked Booker T to win.
VPJG: That includes Widro.

Kaisen316: Widwho?

VPJG: Our boss. Mysterious guy, wears a rainbow afro wig in public?

Kaisen316: Oh, yeah

VPJG: People believed that Booker was going to win. People believed that HHH could lose.
VPJG: No matter how many big matches he wins, the important part of being a heel is having people believe you can lose.

Kaisen316: I will also point out that Morse put that column together
Kaisen316: Which makes it lose all validity

VPJG: Granted. Did you know the first time he left 411 for awhile he went to a drug rehab center?

Kaisen316: I can see that. He has a nipple ring…. only druggies have nipple rings

VPJG: Ummm Triple H is a great heel.

Kaisen316: that is…. quite the strong argument
Kaisen316: All I’m saying is it’s time for HHH to move aside
Kaisen316: Pt some people over… if he’s so passionate about the business, it’s time for him to let someone else have the spotlight

VPJG: And who’s going to take his place? Someone else who’ll eventually blow out a knee so we can all bitch about him?
VPJG: Trip gave us his entire life. His first true love, his health, his family.
VPJG: And how do we thank him when he can no longer go as he once could?
VPJG: What kind of appreciation do we show to a fallen legend, a man who put on numerous classic matches?
VPJG: We spit on him.
VPJG: We call him a cancer. We call him crap. We ignore the good things he does and focus on the bad until he’s under a microscope of evil!

Kaisen316: I think wrestling is his first true love… but it sounds good.
Kaisen316: I have no problem with him. He’s the best and he’s protecting his top spot. But it’s eventually going to hurt the WWE more than it will help it. At some point, something has to be done with him.

VPJG: He gave us everything. So let’s say he now wants a little something for himself backstage! FOR SHAME, HHH!

Kaisen316: He CAN’T put on those matches anymore. Austin can’t either, but at least Austin was smart enough to know it

VPJG: So now we tell him to stop? We took his youth, his health, and now we thank him by waving him away with the middle finger? We do this while he still has passable matches and passable interviews?

Kaisen316: Passable is not for the WWE

VPJG: Oh yeah! You’ve got to be much better then passable to compete in the WWE.

Kaisen316: ok, well, you only have to be passable.

Kaisen316: You said yourself LAST TIME WE DID THIS that you didn’t want to watch a guy who was one step away from crippling himself.
VPJG: But I was lying because of the position I had to take! The truth is I’d love to see them all cripple themselves!

Kaisen316: Okay, but HHH is looking at burying the entire roster to make himself look good, and it’s killing Raw.
Kaisen316: It’s barely watchable anymore.
Kaisen316: Now there’s Nash, who might have a shot…. because he’s one of HHH’s buddies

VPJG: Who the hell is buried? Do you see dirt on anyone?

Kaisen316: RVD wasn’t even on Mania this year
Kaisen316: Kane wasn’t
Kaisen316: What is Booker doing now?

VPJG: HHH’s fault!

Kaisen316: He’s in a feud involving Michaels, Nash, and HHH
Kaisen316: He’ll be forgotten

VPJG: We haven’t forgotten them.

Kaisen316: We will

VPJG: You might, retard.
VPJG: Those three men you just listed, you think they’re better then Hunter?

Kaisen316: Are Michaels, Nash, and HHH better than Hunter?
Kaisen316: One is Hunter, fool

VPJG: RVD, Kane and Booker.

Kaisen316: RVD and Booker, yes
Kaisen316: No question

VPJG: Then why haven’t they beaten him?

Kaisen316: Better than TODAY’S Hunter

VPJG: Why haven’t they beaten Hunter if they’re so much better then him?

Kaisen316: Oh god, you’re kidding. We’re going to go there?

VPJG: You can just sum it up. Why?

Kaisen316: Because HHH has Vince and Steph convinced he is the answer to all their problems

VPJG: Let me decipher that for the readers.
VPJG: Kaisen316: Because I’m a smelly smart who cares more about backstage bullshit then the product.
VPJG: There you have it! You said it, not me!

Kaisen316: Or I’m a wannabe writer who knows when certain things should happen in logical storylines
Kaisen316: The good guy has to win eventually

VPJG: Not in House of 1000 Corpses. Let’s wrap this up. Final argument?

Kaisen316: HHH is another in the long line of wrestling superstars who just don’t know when it’s time to hang up the tights. He’s grasping on to one final thread of relevance and dragging the entire promotion job in his self blowjob to be the best.

VPJG: HHH has put on good matches in the past year, most recently on LAST MONDAY’S RAW. He still pisses off the fans, usually for the right reasons. He gave us everything yesterday, and now that he needs us the most, we’re gone. We don’t care. That really sucks.

Kaisen316: Till next time this is Daniels, leaving with this thought
Kaisen316: Grut sucks

VPJG: Well, as always, you can cast your vote to me as to who won this debate. And I don’t suck. You suck, you little pissant.
VPJG: You did the goodbye before the voting plug.

Kaisen316: I’m sorry
Kaisen316: I will do it now too
Kaisen316: Grut sucks twice

VPJG: You have any idea who I am?

Kaisen316: A pretty good idea…. some one who sucks
Kaisen316: Real
Kaisen316: Real
Kaisen316: Bad

VPJG: It ain’t over yet!

VPJG: Okay, cool. That’s where I’ll end it.

Kaisen316: Cool

VPJG: Good job this week.
VPJG: Needs a little cleaning up.

Kaisen316: Yeah

VPJG: Too bad you’ll be too busy SUCKING COCK TO DO IT!