Counterfeit Pennies 04.16.03: 100 Little Things I Love

For the last few weeks I feel like we have all been hit with heavy doses of reality, both in the world of politics and in the world of professional wrestling. Even with the impressive operation we have already orchestrated through Operation: Iraqi Freedom, there is still a lot of work to be done overseas, and, consequently, there are many families who will have to remain separated from their loved ones who are serving our country (and doing us proud!).

In WWE, well, let’s just say there isn’t a rosy picture over at Titan Towers these days, as ratings remain paltry and fans that do tune into WWE programming continue to become disgruntled with the product being presented. (This frustration, of course, is more directed towards Raw and Triple H than it is towards Smackdown!, though both shows have their blemishes.)

However, instead of bashing WWE and reiterating many of the same criticisms already tossed out by other Internet columnists, I figured it would be a good time to just step back and reflect on the little things in life that make us laugh, relax or just feel good inside.

Below is my personal laundry list of lifetime occurrences that have made my day, my week or maybe even my year. Some of these things have been drawn out from the spectrum of popular culture. Others, of course, come from positive wrestling memories.

Whatever the case may be, I really think that there is an eclectic potpourri of items here, and I hope you all enjoy this special edition of Counterfeit Pennies.

Chris Biscuiti presents 100 Little Things I Love

100. The singing oven mitt from Arby’s.

099. Catching an old episode of “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” on the Cartoon Network.

098. Playing RBI Baseball for Nintendo and slapping a pinch-hit home run against Calvin Schiraldi with Danny Heep.

097. Hitting a reverse lay-up.

096. Driving around in the summer with Erick, windows open, singing the wrong lyrics to crappy pop songs at the top of my lungs.

095. Petting my dog.

094. Watching “Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas” every holiday season.

093. Going to Borders with Jen.

092. Chinese buffet.

091. Fast food dollar menus.

090. Seeing any major league pitcher throw a perfect game, as long as it isn’t against the Mets.

089. That feeling I get when professional wrestling is going good.

088. The “Boston Public” theme song.

087. Listening to Joe Benigno’s overnight show on WFAN, especially when 1) Jerome from Manhattan calls; 2) he plugs Umbertoooooooooooooo’s Clamhouse; and 3) he gets pissed at the Jets, Mets and Knicks for the same reasons that I do, proving he’s a true fan of his teams.

086. Diving for a loose ball/Saving a penalty shot.

085. Joking around with my mom.

084. Going to Friendly’s or Gino’s Pizzeria with my cousins.

083. Red Lobster dinner bread.

082. Catching repeats of “Everybody Loves Raymond.”

081. Opening a fresh pack of Altoids.

080. Calling my dad before I go to work.

079. Getting a phone call from an old friend who wants to catch up.

078. Breakfast cereal.

077. Lazy Sundays after a busy weekend.

076. 1980s T-shirts from Hot Topic.

075. Fantasy baseball.

074. Trips to the batting cage with my brother.

073. Mini-golf with a group of friends on a clear summer night.

072. 2 scrambled eggs, toast and fries from the diner for $2.95.

071. Anytime I get to chill with Skip.

070. Erick’s house for wrestling Pay-per-Views.

069. Barbecued burgers and hot dogs.

068. Boardwalks at the beach.

067. Hugging the cushioned poles at United Skates, which have saved me from countless falls to the ground.

066. Bowling a strike.

065. Pizza Friday’s in high school.

064. Playoff overtime hockey.

063. Buzzer-beaters during the NCAA Tournament.

062. Anything with Don Cheadle.

061. Keifer Sutherland’s voice.

060. 18 “G.I. Joe” public service announcements as an extra feature to the DVD of the full-length cartoon movie.

059. The theme song to “Rocky”

058. “All your base are belong to us.”

057. Cadbury cream eggs, though by now you’d figure they’d have enough money to fund a new commercial.

056. Dairy Barn iced tea.

055. Seeing kids in my neighborhood run through sprinklers with the same unhindered enthusiasm we all used to exude.

054. Getting an unexpected ride into the city instead of having to take the train as originally planned.

053. Nikka Costa.

052. Reciting old commercial jingles to the bewilderment of others.

051. That feeling you get from a movie or television show where you just have to watch it whenever it’s on.

050. Pressing the Snooze button.

049. Glasses cleaner.

048. Finding a plastic spoon to consume a cup of chocolate pudding late at night so I don’t have to go back downstairs and wash the metal spoon or feel guilty about leaving it upstairs until the morning.

047. Being quirky, e.g., #048 on this list.

046. Watching clips from “The State.”

045. Freshly sharpened #2 pencils with brand new erasers.

044. “Burger Time” for Intellivision.

043. Dennis Miller’s commentary.

042. Chocolate milk.

041. Fitted hats.

040. Kurt Cobain’s lyrics.

039. Peanut butter and jelly picnics.

038. Big League Chew.

037. Throwing Gummy Bears at the screen during an awful Hillary Swank movie.

036. Feeling the cool side of the pillow after flipping it over.

035. The optical mouse that never acts up no matter how much dust collects on the bottom.

034. Watching soccer highlights when a scissor-kick goal is scored.

033. College life.

032. Watching mascots get their asses handed to them from the opposing team’s fans.

031. When the underdog wins.

030. Pressing the Snooze button again.

029. Perusing the Sunday newspapers while watching “The Sports Reporters.”

028. The fact that at the beginning of each season, my favorite teams are all tied for 1st place.

027. When one of the Iron Chefs actually loses out to a challenger.

026. The fact that “Supermarket Sweep” has had more than 1,000 episodes aired. Think about how many turkeys and packs of fresh ground coffee that is?

025. Midgets who hit it big in Hollywood or in pro wrestling.

024. Velcro sneakers.

023. Chicken wings on Super Bowl Sunday.

022. Seeing The Belmont Stakes live.

021. Back massages.

020. Hot chocolate with whipped cream.

019. Knock hockey.

018. Internet journalism.

017. Any commercial with Jason Alexander, and any show involving Larry David.

016. “Office Space.”

015. 22 short films about Springfield.

014. Fun tack.

013. Playing baseball with a pack of M & M’s: Brown = Single; Yellow = Double; Orange = Triple; Green = home run; Red = Grand Slam.

012. Pool volleyball.

011. Climbing a fence and laughing when one of your guy friends gets stuck at the top and becomes an instant soprano.

010. The way George Washington stares right through you no matter how you position a dollar bill.

009. The fact that on some coupons someone actually took the time to write: “Face value 1/100 of a cent.”

008. Waffle fries.

007. Nasty boy band breakups.

006. The Sugar Hill Gang.

005. George Carlin.

004. Direct deposit.

003. Def Poetry.

002. Ziggy.

001. Mick Foley vignettes.

That’s all for now PEACE.

Chris Biscuiti

Aside from his weekly musings on 411Mania, Chris Biscuiti is a regular pop culture, political and pro wrestling contributor to moodspins.com.