The Weekend Hotline: 4.26.03


So, I was getting all ready to start this column off with a mailbag, and then I realized that I took last week off and the rest of my mail got punted when I got mailbombed through the music column that got Fark-linked. Not a bad mailbomb just lots o mail.

So anyway, some stuff:

First, something I need to reprint out of the music column because more of you read this. Verbatim. If you read music skip this

Why I’m registered Independent

In a move that I’m sure puts me on Modzelewski and Eric S’s side, the Bush Administration filed a brief backing the RIAA in their lawsuit vs Verizon. The lawsuit revolves around Verizon refusing to give their customer records over to the RIAA so they can identify people who are trading songs online. IE: Using Kazaa.

In the brief, the Justice Department (read: Adolph Ashcroft) urged Federal District Court Judge John Bates to refuse Verizon’s request to quash a subpoena sought by the RIAA under the Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA). Under the DMCA, a copyright holder can win a subpoena for a copyright infringer’s identity.

Verizon’s argument is they are a conduit, and what their user’s do are their own business, but they are not responsible to turn over customer records under the First Amendment right to privacy. Assistant Attorney General Robert McCallum Jr drafted the brief which dismissed both of these claims:

“Congress certainly has the authority to direct federal district court clerks to issue similar subpoenas related to cognizable controversies before (the) courts — like a potential copyright-infringement action, With respect to Defendant’s claim that (the DMCA) violates the First Amendment as facially overbroad, Defendant has failed to show that (the law) proscribes spoken words or conduct that is commonly associated with expression, Moreover, (the DMCA) is not facially overbroad because it neither compromises a recognized First Amendment protection of parties not before the Court nor is there a realistic danger that such a compromise would occur.”

Now, keep in mind what he’s saying there. You do not have a right to privacy.

Now 2, make no mistake the Bush Administration could give two flying shits about whether or not you are trading files on your computer. However, what they DO care about is the way the court system works. The court system in the US is based on precedent which means a law can be interpreted any way until it comes up in a court proceeding. Once it DOES come up, the way that judge rules affects the application of said law all the way down the line forever until an equal or higher court overrules it meaning if Local judge A rules one way, then Federal Judge B can reverse the ruling and Local Judge A is outranked. Then Federal Judge B can be over ruled by a higher judge and so on to the Supreme Court. (At least, this is my understanding and, if I’m wrong, I’m sure someone will tell me)

Now, keep in mind, GWB is looking to get the Patriot Act over, in which the Government can subpoena your credit card records because you looked at them funny with no good reason other than they want them. And now Congress is trying to get this act, set to expire in 2005, to become normal law this in the interest in protecting the country which is one of the bigger lines of bull that I’ve heard.

Problem is: this hasn’t been applied in any cases yet and the subpoenaing of information under the DMCA is pretty similar to the subpoenaing of information under the PA. SOOOOO, Friends and Neighbors, if the judge allows the RIAA to subpoena information about YOU because you MIGHT be trading songs online, then when the Patriot Act is finally challenged on constitutional grounds, they can point at the application of the DMCA (in this instance) and say “see, precedent says this is just dandy he MIGHT be a terrorist so give us his credit card records.”

Ashcroft doesn’t care if you’re trading the latest Jay-Z Joint on the Internet (though I have it on good authority that Ashie’s Ride often has said joint bumpin down the streets of DC), but he DOES care if the Patriot Act gets shot down the first time it comes under scrutiny. AND, these two acts are close enough in their non-Americanness that a judge just MIGHT actually listen to the precedent set in this case.

Make no mistake, this Verizon v RIAA case will go to the Supreme Court and it’s the SINGLE reason I want it to get there before Bush gets another Justice on the bench.

I feel Eric S will be proud of me for this and for that, I smile.


You can stop skipping now

Moving on:

Kinda interested to see where the OJ Simp er Scott Peterson case goes. The state has a long way to go to convince me of Murder One especially if they can’t come up with anything better than a string of coincidences. “oooooh, he went fishing on Christmas.” Hey, I go to the movies on Christmas, does that make me murderer? “ooooh, he dyed his hair and grew a goatee and was heading to Mexico.” Really? With Reporters following him around and hassling him 24/7. No one would POSSIBLY change their appearance to escape that, would they?

Also interesting to see how the judge rules on whether or not the baby was murdered since the National Orginazation of Yaks are already chiming in on this variable.

Bah stupid media.

Also big thanks to the gentleman who sent me Origin the limited edition first Evanescence CD. Thanks man!

Now, for those keeping count, I’m still looking for the Pre-Sunburn release of Fuel if any of you out there have it. Email me.

Also, if anyone else has the super-duper limited Evanescence releases Whisper, I think the name is. Also email me.

We got a ppv this weekend so I actually have something to talk about.


The card is finally all together and it’s looking like a show that shouldn’t suck much. The main event is looking kind of weak, but the Smackdown title should be something to watch, so long as they don’t go the route of just having Brock squash Cena like in the Undertaker/Cena match. But, I’m ahead of myself.

The Rock vs. Goldberg

This is the match to establish Goldberg as a threat in the ring. All the bitching and moaning about how the Rock has been made to look stronger is a bunch of horseshit. Guys, quick reality check. The Rock is going away for however long he’s going away they have had exactly THREE weeks to build this match. The stronger they make the Rock look heading INTO the match is the stronger Goldberg is going to look WINNING the match. If Rock is booking this whole feud, as is the rumor, he is doing a great job so far. Goldberg squashing Rock in a fight days before the event isn’t going to make people want to see him get his comeuppance. Goldberg taking a Rock Bottom, basically no-selling it, and then pursuing is perfect. It shows him as someone who can take the Rock’s best, get up, and ONLY have problems when the Rock starts cheating. Now we have people paying to see Goldberg get his revenge. No one was hurt by the buildup of this feud and, in fact, it has only helped to establish Goldberg in the WWE scene.

Now, the difference between ROCK booking his own feuds and HHH/Hogan/Savage/Nash booking their own feuds, is that the Rock will book himself to lose plain and simple. Rock will get nailed, clean, come Saturday to establish Goldie as a top face in the federation, much to my chagrin. But hey, you got him roll with him.

Then, next month, they can start burying him against HHH.

Winner: The Heva clean.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena for the WWE Title

Assuming the plan actually is to go forward with Big Show push number 562, I expect Cena to get eaten by Lesnar, but how they book him in and after the match is what’s important. Cena has one of the more identifiable characters on the show, and one the core wrestling audience will love to hate. If they just bury him post Brock, it will be stupid however I can also see blame being levied on him if Buyrates on Backlash don’t come back with what’s expected. I mean, obviously they won’t blame it on Raw, where all the “top guys” are wrestling together.

If Cena does get buried after this, it will be a bad sign for the future of the company because, at this point, they ONLY have guys who can get quick pushes for belts because they’ve successfully stuck ALL the big names on Raw, and have left no credible threats for Brock on Smackdown. So, this system will have to remain unless they have the balls to put the belt on Benoit, which I don’t think they will.

All the while, they DO have the ECW World Champion sitting on Smackdown with nothing to do. HELLO, USE THE BELT YOU HAVE RIGHTS TO IT.

Winner: Brock.

Triple H, Chris Jericho, Ric Flair vs. Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, Booker T

Speaking of no credible threats Nash, HHH, and Michaels are in this match who else? Someone couple guys, I think. I’m kind of wondering why they even bothered going the six man route, rather than just having Flair and H vs Nash and Michaels and let Jericho and Booker settle some issues from the past. But that’s beside the point now, I guess.

This match isn’t going to do anything for any of the guys involved and the only finish that would make sense is either 1) a heel turn by someone or 2) Nash pins HHH to set up his world title shot (next month?). HHH will gladly stare at the lights for Nash which will leave the two guys with talent and who AREN’T past their prime (Jericho and Booker) with nothing to do for the next couple of months.

And, since I don’t think they’re ready to pull the trigger on ANOTHER Michael’s heel turn, I’m going to go with the only other finish that makes sense.

Winner: Team Nash: Nash pins HHH

Kane & RVD vs. The Dudley Boyz for the World Tag Team Titles

There are tag team titles on Raw? Who has them? If they had any desire to forward storylines, I would assume the Dudz would win so they can be the champs and thus: unfireable. Hence, a feud begins where Morely starts throwing teams at them to get the belts off them so they can be suspended. Or something.

But, since we don’t need no stinkin storylines on Raw, I expect Grassfire to retain.

Winners: Grassfire

Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros for the WWE Tag Team Titles

I expect Team Angle to hold the belts till the Captain comes back. Nuff Said.

Winner: Team Angle with some shenanigans

Sean O’Haire vs. Rikishi

I guess the production packages have been forgotten? He’s just Piper’s guy now? Whatever O’Haire is on the receiving end of a push, so he should theoretically go over Rikishi, who is just kind of there to put guys over now and to pop the crowd. O’Haire is a future big heel if they use him right and Piper’s involvement can only help him.

O’Haire still needs help with his mic work and this is what Piper’s around for. Remember Chuck Palumbo when he first started in WCW as the New Total Package? Awful. He needed someone to do the work for him. O’Haire’s got that now. Should work out well for everyone.

Winner: O’Haire

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz for the WWE Women’s Title

Ashish said it all here. Until there is more than one face in the women’s division, it is ultimately pointless. So Trish wins.

Winner: Trish

Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show

Eh, who cares. If they job the Big Show to Rey he may as well retire.

Winner: Big Show

One Step Closer

Triple H and Steph have announced an official date for their wedding. October 25th, 2003 is the day Hunter will become Hunter McMahon.

Think you see a lot of him now? Wait till he actually has a stake in the company and really DOES run the place.

Smartest wrestler alive?

And, in that sense, what is wrong with Stephanie? I mean seriously the dude’s like ten years older than her, roided up, and NOT even that attractive. I mean, there are some very pretty men in the WWF and Hunter does not top my list. I mean, obviously he’s got a perfect body and gorgeous hair, but he has a giant forehead, a big nose, and a scrunched up face.

*shrug* Never underestimate the Ox Cock. And if he’s still got THAT with all the juice in his system, he must have started as a freakin Whale.

Ladies I know there’s like ten of you out there hell, guys too who’s the hottest wrestler? Guys, if you’re in, no chicks. If you were Steph and you had the pick of the litter, who would you take?

Anyway, back to HHH being in charge. If this really does become the case, and, if they’re engaged I have no reason to see why it wouldn’t be, I think you might start to see more Jeff Hardys start popping out of the WWE. Guys who just become so disillusioned with the scene they just “lose their smile” and/or go away. I think you will see some of them start to think about TNA, too.

If any wrestling biz needed a national promotion, it’s TNA. They are in as prime a spot as Nitro was when it started. The WWE sucks and is begging for someone to swoop in and put on better shows. No one is willing to drop the cash to support a wrestling show though especially not one who’s biggest star if Jeff Jarrett. However, if some names start disappearing in a fit of boredom from the E, then things might start changing.

Who knows.

However, I fear for wrestling next year at this time when Hunter becomes FIRMLY set in the driver seat. If I was Vince, I would demand he “retire” from in-ring, but then Vince doesn’t think logically about most things, apparently.

In Other Reading

John Haley hates women. He also digs on the Little Thing that kill. Tearin at his brain yet again.

Ron the Communist checks in with The World According to him. He’s also a poopiehead. Opposed to Ron, I wasn’t interested in Szulczewski and Hyatte’s trip UNTIL I found out it involved butt plugs and whiskey. Where do I sign up?

Zucconi digs HHH. He also threatened the life of my teddy bear if Grut and I don’t hook up for another debate. Read him.

In Closing

Bower tomorrow, Hyatte on Monday. You gonna read?

You know you are.