VPJG: Welcome back to a brand new Grutman vs. Daniels! It’s been a while because Daniels was whipped so bad in the last one that he’s been ducking me like a little bitch.
Kaisen316: it’s true, once Grutman starts wielding the whip, all bets are off
VPJG: That’s right, bitch! Wait, was that sarcastic?
Kaisen316: of course not
VPJG: Rhetorical. Anyway, by the slimmest of margins, Grutman came away with his first victory! I beat you with the stance that Triple H is good.
VPJG: But tonight, we tackle a subject that hits close to home.
Kaisen316: *sigh* yes, against all odds
Kaisen316: I’ve never seen a man argue so hard for HHH
Kaisen316: Makes you wonder the motivation, perhaps
VPJG: It’s cough. Didn’t you go to college?
VPJG: Now then, moving on to tonight’s subject.
Kaisen316: Yeah, but I don’t remember most of it.
Kaisen316: s’ok though. I HAVE A JOB
VPJG: NOW THEN, MOVING ON TO TONIGHT’S SUBJECT! The Internet: Good for the WWE, Or Rightly On Us Vince Should Pee.
Kaisen316: is awful
VPJG: Shut up. You do better.
VPJG: I’m not Lanny Poffo.
Kaisen316: fair enough
VPJG: Choose your side.
Kaisen316: I chose last time, please feel free
VPJG: No. I chose last time. I picked defending HHH and whipped your ass. You’re part of this column and you don’t even know the rules.
VPJG: Winner chooses topic, loser chooses sides.
Kaisen316: no, I just tend not to pay attention to you
VPJG: You know how much more popular I am then you?
VPJG: 5 MORE PEOPLE!
Kaisen316: anyway…. I’ll take bad for the WWE.
VPJG: And you may begin as I light my cancer stick.
Kaisen316: We, in general are idiots. We sit here and comment on the business and write about it with no facts and nothing we can confim. We have no idea what actually goes on behind closed doors, yet we speak like we’re experts. We’re morons…. and we’re morons trying to live vicariously through the sport we love by making fun of it
VPJG: Most of us who write have watched, would you say, for an average of 5-10 years?
Kaisen316: hm, I don’t know if I can make that judgement.
VPJG: Well, you. How long have you watched for?
Kaisen316: I have watched since I was 3, so 22 years.
VPJG: Wow. I mean… wow.
Kaisen316: Well, with a three year gap
Kaisen316: when I was far too cool to watch wrestling
VPJG: 19 years. And you’re an average writer, I mean an average columnist, I mean an average guy… who am I kidding? I meant all 3.
VPJG: Anyway, you’ve got enough experience watching the product to have an opinion on it.
Kaisen316: Absolutely I can have an opinion
Kaisen316: But it doesn’t mean it’s fact, and it doesn’t mean it’s right. I don’t have nearly the experience in the business as say…. Vince
VPJG: Russo or McMahon?
VPJG: Or Carter?
VPJG: McMahon, okay.
VPJG: So what? He should be devoid of critics?
Kaisen316: No, he shouldn’t be devoid of critics, but Critics should actually no what goes on behind the scenes, and we have no idea.
Kaisen316: Most of the information, the backstage information, we rely on could be made up for all we know. HHH could be a great guy.
VPJG: But we do have some idea. Most of the stories we read on the net from the dirt sheets are somewhat true. If we allow ourselves to acknowledge that most of what we read is exaggerated, we still have a pretty good idea.
Kaisen316: How do you know? We have people obviously disgusted with the business and the WWE in general. How do we know they’re not telling bald-faced lies. Look at this Raul D Dice guy
Kaisen316: He’s obviously bitter… we have no idea if he’s telling the truth
VPJG: I can’t. He writes an anonymous column on the Internet. How can I look at him?
VPJG: We’re off point.
VPJG: How is the Internet bad for business?
VPJG: Isn’t all publicity good publicity? Are you going to stop watching because you read on 411Rajah1bobpwtorchsucks that Roddy Piper had sex with a sheep?
Kaisen316: How is it good publicity when people read and talk about how shitty it is…. ALL THE TIME.
Kaisen316: Even if it’s good, the Internet says it shitty.
Kaisen316: Prime Example: John Cena.
VPJG: I call bullshit on you!
Kaisen316: “PUSH NEW STARS, PUSH NEW STARS.” Ok, let’s give Cena a main event push. “….. HE’S NOT READY, NO ONE TAKES HIM SERIOUSLY”
VPJG: The Internet has been raving about John Cena. Scott Keith, God bless his miniscule remaining kidney, is not the Internet.
VPJG: I like John Cena. Let’s see if Widro likes John Cena.
Kaisen316: Widro is probably high
Kaisen316: Or coked up
VPJG: True. Best not to bother him. Being high usually mellows people out, but he gets all rageful. It’s scary.
Kaisen316: or both
VPJG: How about PK? One second.
VPJG: VPJG: Do you like John Cena?
Kaisen316: See now that for example: I could write an Internet column about how Widro is coked up all the time….. and it’s as valid as the Torch. Now, is the world finding out Widro is a cokehead good for business?
VPJG: For 411? Bring in the cokehead demographic!
Kaisen316: THE COKEHEAD DEMOGRAPHIC CAN’T AFFORD COMPUTERS
VPJG: THEY STEAL THEM!
VPJG: How does telling the world about Widro’s coke “disease” hurt business? Think anyone gives a crap?
VPJG: Now PK is talking to me about figures.
VPJG: “I like GI Joes! They taste funny!” PK is sad.
Kaisen316: But, what I’m saying is: The only person with a positive outlook is that dude that writes the fully positive column
VPJG: You doing some construction?
VPJG: What, Rivett?
Kaisen316: Stuff I Watched This Week that Didn’t Suck
Kaisen316: isn’t that the name of column
Kaisen316: AND EVEN THAT IMPLIES THAT EVERYTHING ELSE SUCKS
Kaisen316: The Internet is too negative, which is why I think Vince has every right to ignore us
VPJG: But we want to be positive! I always want to be positive. When I sit down to type, I don’t want to write about what pissed me off. That makes me angry.
VPJG: I want to be nice.
VPJG: I think others do to. If Vince would listen to us, his fans and critics who want to be happy, maybe he wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of handing out questionaires.
Kaisen316: Listen to one demographic of fans and cater to them…. when they’re going to watch anyway
Kaisen316: that’s smart.
Kaisen316: If we stop watching, we lose our column, and thus our one claim to fame in our sad little lives.
VPJG: Have you seen the ratings? Did you hear the boos for Goldberg at Backlash? WE’RE THE ONLY DEMOGRAPHIC LEFT!
VPJG: And your life might be sad, but I’m going to be a world champion playwright!
VPJG: So what if I’m also a three-time award winning wrestling columnist? It’s a perk. You’ve been doing this longer then me. I’m sure you have tons of awards.
Kaisen316: hey, people like you more than me… I’m fine with that.
VPJG: Daniels, don’t say that!
Kaisen316: BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT THE INTERNET IS GOOD FOR WRESTLING.
VPJG: People like me ALOT more than you. Say that.
Kaisen316: Fine, people like me a lot more than you.
VPJG: That’s better…HEY!
VPJG: Now, why do people like me more then you?
Kaisen316: People dig mediocrity because it makes them feel better about themselves?
VPJG: I make jokes about the product, but I don’t shit on the product. Parody is not negative criticism.
VPJG: Sometimes, maybe, I make people enjoy being wrestling fans.
VPJG: And Daniels, people, even Internet people, want to enjoy being wrestling fans.
Kaisen316: do they?
VPJG: Keith would love to enjoy watching fluid storylines on Raw and Smackdown. Eric S would be doing back flips to give every match a positive rating in his column.
VPJG: Review, rather. Eric S doesn’t rate matches. But he comes up with such clever nicknames for wrestlers!
Kaisen316: do you honestly believe that? Because I don’t. I buy into the theory that people like to piss on the product because in some asinine way they think makes them look smarter… and it’s wrong. If Benoit was the world champion, Keith would be bitching about how they treated him badly.
VPJG: If Benoit was the world champion, Keith wouldn’t be bitching about anything because he’d drown in his own semen after the multiple orgasms he had.
VPJG: Man, what a sad way to go. Drowning in your own semen because of a wrestling match.
Kaisen316: that is possibly the most disturbing visual you’ve ever tried to give people
VPJG: No, really, think about it step by step.
VPJG: FINAL THOUGHT TIME! Daniels, if you’re finished having dirty thoughts about Scott Keith, you may go first.
Kaisen316: The Internet is a bad press machine. We primarily write to complain about the product, even when they do good things. Basically, we expect the WWF to cater to us, a fanbase who are hardcore enough to watch anything they put on TV, rather than attract the fans who aren’t watching anymore. That would be the worst business model ever… yet we expect it, and complain when we don’t get it. We’re idiots, and deserve to be treated as such.
VPJG: Mine is simpler. We’re wrestling fans with computers. We’re vocal about what we want to see, what we think can help. Every organization should be so lucky as to have fans like us. Negative comments shouldn’t be seen as mean spirited by students who get a D on a paper, they should be seen as constructive. If Vince would realize that we are his most loyal fanbase and give us an ounce of respect, maybe he wouldn’t be down in the 3.whatevers right now.
Kaisen316: This week, to change it up, you can mail your vote to Me.
VPJG: I had some great arguments for anti-Internet. I think you missed the boat.
Kaisen316: I think you’re a moron
Kaisen316: err, i mean yeah great work Grut
VPJG: Daniels, I know I make fun, but I only wish great things for you. Great things, like being in the same room as Scott Keith when Chris Benoit wins the title.
VPJG: Signing off, this is Grutman saying that Daniels drinks S Kream.
Kaisen316: And this is Daniels, saying he thinks Grutman is obsessed with Scott Keith’s Semen
VPJG: I think Scott Keith’s Semen is about to become a major player on the Internet scene.