Counterfeit Pennies 05.21.03: Your Feedback Emails; My Responses; All Spell-checked And Whatnot

Archive

Rich Pronesti writes:
Great column. One comment I would like to make is that the total loss of kayfabe has also greatly hurt Big Show. Even “marks” today know that wrestling is staged. 20 years ago, Big Show would have been a huge draw. His “devastating” smacks, head butts, and tosses would have been much more “impressive” back then. Just a thought. Keep up the good work.

That’s a very good point, Rich … I mean can you imagine the comments about Andre the Giant if he were wrestling today? Instead of a Hall of Famer, he would have been written off the show in a matter of weeks.

I do think The Big Show’s bad rap isn’t his fault … but these days I think he’s more entertaining in Stacker 2 commercials than on WWE programming.

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Todd Dmitruk writes:

Okay, see Chris here is the thing I have been an avid watcher of wrestling for pretty much the past 8 years. I mean of both wwe and wcw, like I have rarely missed a raw, Smackdown!, nitro, or even if you can believe it thunder. So I am very familiar with all the big name talents of both companies when wrestling was in its hay day up until now. I don’t know if you will agree with me but the best days for watching wrestling were back when both companies were battling neck and neck.

When the nwo era was fresh and new in wcw it was awesome because you never new who or what was going to happen on the show that night. So when a new member of the nwo came out at the end of the show it was always fresh because they never had vignettes or the little commercials of superstars that would soon be appearing before there actual appearance. So I would tune it to see what surprise was going to happen that night and I didn’t want to be the guy who missed hogans turn heel or stinger finally joining the wolf pack.

It was all about the anticipation of seeing something that you did not expect, but now when Goldberg was coming to the wwe they played a vignette saying that he would be there before he actually showed up at a show. So there was no surprise of oh my god they got Goldberg now, I’m going to have to keep watching to see where this goes.

If he would have just shown up at raw following WrestleMania when the rock was out there talking about how he has done it all and beat every big name in the business. It and he would have gotten a huge pop but since they ran those stupid promos saying that Goldberg is coming it took the whole element of surprise away. Now I know that it was running rampant all over the Internet that Goldberg had signed and he would be around sometime soon but, I’m an avid watcher of wrestling and I still don’t believe every little rumor on the net because many of them have been pure bullshit in the past.

So you never do know what is the truth and what is just a load of bunk do you? I don’t know to me that is what is wrong with the wwe today they have taken all the excitement and element of surprise out of the show. I just know that when they used to surprise us with new talent or even bringing back old talent, if I was watching and then telling my buddy who didn’t watch that night how cool it was when Y2J showed up as the millennium man and had a nice mic dual with the rock. You could be damn sure that he was not going to miss next weeks raw or Smackdown! rather back then. Anyways that is just my take on some of the reason that the wwe is having problems.

Todd Dmitruk – Avid Canadian watcher

Hey Todd: I think the issue you mentioned is an important one. The pre-promotional aspect of the
wrestling industry is much different now even than it was during the ratings wars of the 1990s. WWE is so obsessed with achieving ratings these days that what they do is try to promote the wrestlers who are going to come back or debut before they arrive on Raw or Smackdown! Their philosophy is that if people know about who is going to come back, well, then people will want to tune in and will plan to tune into the show in advance. By going the “safe” route and informing the viewers about big comebacks, well, WWE does lose out in the “shock and surprise” department. There has been a lot of debate as to which approach is best, and honestly, I tend to gravitate towards wanting to be more surprised than pre-informed. But without a chief rival for WWE to outdo, there is no reason or pressure for the execs. over at Titan Towers to even try to do anything that would risk a couple of points on the ratings.

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Niall Gildea writes:

Chris: I totally agree with most of what you said in your ‘Truths and Consequences’ column, however my own views do conflict with your own in certain areas:
Yes, The Big Show will never be a credible Main Event superstar, but I felt that the reasons you gave for this were perhaps a bit too kind to the 500-lb lunk.

a) I think that the reason he is not over is not due to handling or his sudden show-switches, but because he is too big, too slow and too lazy. For example, the WWE tell him to go away and lose a few pounds… he gains! wtf? The lacks of motivation on his part to improve on his in-ring ability (and equally the lack of subsequent discipline shown by the company upon his flabby return) are hardly the kind of examples the ‘Main Eventers’ should be setting.

b) You mentioned something about him having ‘Giant Potential’. I sincerely hope that the line was only inserted for the purposes of the pun, because the only potential I see him having is potential for (I) the circus or (ii) a big-budget Hollywood remake of the ‘Bigfoot’ story.

Regarding your Triple H/Kliq section, I find it absolutely pathetic that Vince McMahon, a man renowned as being an intelligent businessman, lets personal preference and the fact that his daughter is dating the man in question interfere with what is obviously best for the company, namely A NEW CHAMPION. Someone along the lines of Rob Van Dam, Booker T or Chris Jericho could potentially rekindle the spark that has been extinguished by the fumes given off from Hunter and Steiner’s combined ‘roid intake. However, I don’t hold out for this any time soon, as all three men are original WCW/ECW creations and, on top of this, Booker T is the “type of person” that Triple H doesn’t think is “ready”, i.e. he’s black and a more talented athlete that the current World Heavyweight Champion has ever been/will ever be.

Women’s’ Wrestling has always been a topic on which I am polarized. On the one hand, I am all for equality and would hate to see a division which was completely male. However, I do think that this would be best both for the company and for the self-respect of the women involved, especially is Vince McMahon wants his company to rise from the pit of its stereotype. I put forward my argument thus:

The ways in which women are portrayed in the WWE are disgusting, pure and simple. Normally shown as being nothing but ‘Tits & Ass’, the WWE Divas constantly feature in invariably degrading segments, just to appease the contingent of fans that the company should be steering away from – beer-bellied yahoos who only come to the events to jerk off behind their programs.

If Vince McMahon really does want better ratings in the long run, he would do best to employ more females along the lines of Chyna, Jazz and Molly Holly – hard-working, talented wrestlers who don’t put women off the sport by prancing around semi-nude every show. Admittedly, a direction such as this would mean the ratings would suffer a short-term dip, but I dare say that in the long term it would improve both ratings and the reputation of the sport.

However, there is little chance of this happening, as many of the bigwigs in the WWE *cough* Jerry Lawler *hack* are just the type of person the company should be steering well clear of.

I’ll keep my final remark, directed at your 5th point (about nostalgia pops) short and sweet: at the end of the day, we are watching a WRESTLING organization. The WWE is NOT ‘Friends Reunited’. There is one thing that all of the “nostalgia” wrestlers have in common: they are all a piece of shit once they step into the ring. Mr. America, Roddy Piper, LOD, Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner – all wrestle like cripples (which in fact many of them are) when compared to the likes of Chrisses Benoit and Jericho, Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle, the superstars who should really rule the roost in the WWE.

Take the Roddy Piper/Sean O’Haire alliance for example. Whilst I’m all for giving Sean O’Haire (a star I’ve always been intrigued by) “the rub” from a more experienced and well-known star such as Piper, what seems to be happening is that Sean O’Haire’s well built-up intellectual personality is being shunted to the back in favour of Roddy Piper’s demented and senile rhetoric. The emphasis seems to be on building up Roddy Piper as a nasty heel rather than establishing Sean O’Haire as a force to be reckoned with.

Oh, and with regards to the O’Haire/Mr. America inevitability – it’s destined to suck, I accept that, but what I hate is that the man who will be blamed for its poor quality will definitely not be the fifty (sixty?) -something year old.

And with that said, I’m out. Thanks a lot for reading.
Niall Gildea, 15, England.

Hey Niall: All I can say is wow. That was one of the best responses I have ever received in my 2 years of Internet Journalism. I applaud you for your candor and agree with all of your well-crafted points. Perhaps I was a little easy on The Big Show, but again I must reiterate the point previously made by others, which is that if Big Show were around 10/20 years ago, he would be one of the biggest draws in the company … Wrong time and place, for certain.

Regarding Vince, well, the dude is way out of touch, as easily seen in his appearance on the Craig Kilborn show when he didn’t even know who won the World Series last year! I said this once before, it’s like Vince is the King in Aladdin who is under a spell by the conniving Jafar (HHH), while Stephanie (Jasmine) is just there for eye candy. (Of course, she looks more like Violet from Willy Wonka than Princess Jasmine, but alas a metaphor deserves some poetic license)

Your last point about O’Haire and Piper is true to this juncture in the storyline. However, I do feel that O’Haire will emerge out of this as a better, more hyped-up superstar, and at least they are trying over at Smackdown! to create new stars. The same could not be said for Raw until this past week’s show, when the IC belt reappeared to give some mid-carders like Christian a little extra pizzazz. And even though I love the reinstatement of the IC belt, it wouldn’t have been needed to give a jolt to Raw if Hunter had let an up and comer carry the World Heavyweight strap.

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Shawn D. Witt writes:

I was just wondering if anyone else thinks Flair needs to take his ass home. I just can’t see a 16 time world champ being an ass kisser to HHH (whom is overrated to me anyway). I think Monday night when Austin told Flair to shut the hell up it was a weight taken off of alot of people’s chest, especially me. There is alot of stuff that makes wrestling look bad and “kling-ons” are one of them. Flair stop humiliating yourself and take your ass home PLEASE. I think Raw is a good show otherwise and I hope the split between shows isn’t forever I want to see Brock V. Goldberg. Thanks for your time.

Hey Shawn: I think you and a lot of fans got exactly what they wanted from Flair on Monday night’s installment of Raw. The Nature Boy finally stopped being Triple H’s lackey and in fact I thought they put on one very entertaining match. While many of my colleagues look at work rate as the deciding factor on whether or not a match is “good” or “bad”, I tend to lean towards the pure entertainment aspect, as well as the live crowd’s reaction. On Monday, the REAL Ric Flair showed up one more time to give us all a reminder that he will always be “The Man.” Now, if only they did something really ballsy at Titan Towers and had Flair win the belt for a week and then lose it on the next episode of Raw to a YOUNG superstar, now that would have been a surprising but welcome route to go with the World Heavyweight strap.

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Will Helm writes:
Chris: It’s funny that you should mention the CTC chefs in your latest column. Just recently I found out that Wendell’s associates’ names were Bob and Quello. Yes, Quello. Although, in addition to Wendell’s apparent weight gain, around the same time the other two disappeared, the “cinnamon swirls” appeared in the cereal. Frightening implications to say the least! Cinnamon Toast Crunch…or Soylent Green?
By the way, I also found out that, in the ’60s, Kix used to have a Beatnik as a mascot. I suppose if William Burroughs can have a Naked Lunch, you can also have Allen Ginsburg with your breakfast.
Will Helm, 411mania.com/movies

Hey Will: You just disturbed me more with that Cinnamon Swirls bit than even the Triple H/Kane necrophilia angle. Maybe next time I’ll just go for some good old-fashioned Cheerios!

That’s all for now PEACE.

“Go for the bottom/
Go for the top/
Watch for the block/
Forget it you’re stuck/
Go for the glory/
Go for the score/
Go for it/
Connect Four!”

-One of my favorite 1980s commercial jingles what are some of yours?

Chris Biscuiti is also a pop culture, political and pro wrestling contributor for moodspins.com.

CB is an Editor for Pulse Wrestling and an original member of the Inside Pulse writing team covering the spectrum of pop culture including pro wrestling, sports, movies, music, radio and television.