Let’s Do This.
All apologies for no-showing last week. I’ll try to make this column good enough to compensate for the absence.
Oops, I Did It Again
My last column dealt with the man known as the Crippler. One of the main points that I tried to relate, besides the various and sundry little things that I enjoy about the performer, was the notion that so many fans feel that he has been slighted because he has not had a lengthy run as World Champion. To counter this sentiment, I brought up the fact that Black Sabbath is not in the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame, but is still a highly enjoyable musical act regardless. I did not know, however, that Ozzy had adopted a policy of removing his band’s name from the ballot because the voting includes no fan input. This would remove a lot of the validity of the comparison, since it is impossible for a higher authority to be holding Sabbath down when they are removing their name from the ballot beforehand.
I’d like to thank the bevy of readers who pointed this out and consequently brought me up to speed on the controversy. I showed my age a bit in framing my argument this way because the lack of Sabbath in the Hall was a much bigger issue, I believe, when the first few classes were inducted (many fans thought they should be among the first few class of inductees along with Elvis, Chuck Berry, the Beatles and so on) and the band never seemed to be a serious candidate going forward.
I regret the misperception and thank the readers yet again for broadening my horizons. You guys rock. If you, the readers, would like to share some examples of an underappreciated performer not getting the recognition they deserve, please feel free to drop me a line – it’ll give me an idea of what a better column could have looked like last week ;). I will still stand by my main point, however, that one should not need confirmation from wrestling writers, hall of fame induction boards, teachers and anyone else to enjoy the work of any performer, artist, or wrestler.
Finally, major apologies to the Isaac Hayes fans that felt slighted by my comparison. I certainly did not mean to shortchange his influence over music in fact, I try to avoid comparing such subjective measures as “influence†altogether. I believe this may have been the voice of past indignation rising to the surface again, but I understand fully why he is in and why he deserves to be in.
Readers’ Picks: Let’s See Your Chops
Since I inadvertently took some of the focus off of Mr. Benoit with my somewhat-less-than-informed comparison last time out, I felt I owed it to his person to include him again in the readers’ picks section.
In yet another example of him going the extra mile to make his craft seem all the more realistic, reader Jason Mahaffey notes:
One thing that I always liked about Benoit, is that sometimes when he hits or chops someone, he shakes his hand as if it hurt him when he did it. When he does this, it makes it look like he really layed into that person and inflicted actual pain to them because he also hurt himself, rather than the bland and obvious pulled-punch you see from almost every other wrestler out there. It really compliments his chops because you can hear them when they hit and him shaking his hand after pulls you in to feeling the sting that
his opponent just felt
Nobody does a better job at putting realism into wrestling, I think it is safe to say. Jeff Oswald also made mention of this practice as concerns the chops of Benoit and included the 5 star of RVD for good measure. Excellent observations, once again.
Now that the cobwebs are out of my head (for now), let’s see what little things were in the collection plate for the 5.19.2003 edition of RAW.
1. The Kind You Find In A Secondhand Store
Any regular reader will know that I am a big fan of having the wardrobe people add nice touches that accentuate the personalities in wrestlers. Those outrageous berets sported by La Resistance are one such example. So are their sashes, especially when they are yellow.
I try to avoid fantasy booking in this column, but wouldn’t it be awesome if the writers sold these guys as having a cowardly streak? They were dressed in yellow afterall. I would love it if during key junctures in a match, the Frenchmen made very obvious efforts to run away or solicit help from the refs, other wrestlers or (if they had one) their manager. Hey, if you are going to play on stereotypes, you might as well go all the way.
Speaking of the usefulness of managers
2. Put The Mack Down
File this one under guilty pleasures and I beg forgiveness from Grut for stealing his thunder, but something about the Rodney Mack gimmick entertains me (yes, even after the racial tension it caused during the Richmond RAW I attended several weeks ago). I think 95% of it is Teddy Long’s fountain of catchphrases and the fact that he proves a manager is a very useful tool in helping to get a wrestler over. I mean one of his attempts, be it “Belee Datâ€Â, “Thuggin an’ Buggin†or “Lemme Holla at Ya Playaâ€Â, has got to stick, right?
The cameramen, who rarely get enough credit for their work, made last night’s pre-match segment especially enjoyable. When Teddy asked Mack what he saw in the crowd and responded with “white bigotsâ€Â, they actually panned into the audience to show the faces of some of the more rustic-looking Greenville fans in attendance. Priceless stuff. Furthermore, the addition of a time limit and clock to keep time are brilliant little things that helped make an otherwise uninteresting match very exciting by the end. See, the little things count.
However, we have to be fair. In the announce booth, Teddy was off a bit in complaining about the ref’s slow count. He should have complained about the FAST count that the white ref was giving Spike, a white wrestler. Since the count obviously wasn’t fast, it would’ve been that much more entertaining if it had been properly called by Long.
I’m also not going to let up on Jerry Lawler. What kind of moronic question is it to ask a manager about his catchphrases getting over? I am not one of those guys that waits for kayfabe to make its triumphant return, but cheez whiz that was a really dumb and out-of-place question.
3. Looney Toons
I have already written the expert on this matter, but just in case he doesn’t pick up on it today – the interaction between Bischoff and Austin has all the qualities of a Bugs and Daffy cartoon. I know from somewhere deep in the recesses of my childhood memories that there is a cartoon where either Bugs or Daffy is trying to disrupt the quiet by banging on a garbage can lid. I hope Mr. S. can pick it out because it is annoying the hell out of me. Maybe the cartoon where the toirtose is beating the hare and Bugs needs some help from his imaginary self to get up and finish the race after being knocked out?
Funny stuff altogether though for both the kid and college student in me – those were some nasty hangover pranks to pull indeed. And anytime Bischoff gets to interact with Mae and Moolah and insult them, it’s funny. Always. No matter how many times they do it. End of discussion. Anything to hear the term “saggy smelly asses†on my television.
4. Last Stand
The MVP performance of the night obviously went to Ric Flair. Excellent job from the writers (they do decent things every now and then, honestly) for crafting a creative plot that involved a cliffhanger – whether or not Flair would take the fall. But an even more excellent job came from Flair for portraying well all of the emotion that one would suspect a legend like him would encounter in dealing with a dilemma such as that. Everything from the near-tears to the wholly-unexpected fake handshake before the match worked like a charm. The charisma and the stories that this man can generate never cease to amaze me.
5. Road Warrior
When Lance Storm claimed that he was thrown off because they drive on the other side of the road in Canada, I almost fell off the couch laughing. I’ve always believed they could make endless jokes playing off of the unique personality of Mr. Storm. I’m glad they gave it a shot last night with the help of Austin, who really seems to enjoy his current role.
Keep the feedback coming and hopefully I’ll holla at ya playas next week.
