Grut Vs Daniels: 5.27.03


VPJG: Welcome to a very special Grutman vs. Daniels, where we add a third person to the battle! PK!
VPJG: Welcome, PK.

Kaisen316: Hopefully he’s not sensitive

PKitt411: I am

VPJG: Who, the shit head? Nah.

Kaisen316: And won’t mind being made my bitch like Grutman week after damn week

PKitt411: I will

VPJG: Well, that’s true.
VPJG: Daniels whooped my ass.

PKitt411: ya, but you’re a dumbass

VPJG: Is this the kind of clever dialog we can expect from you?

Kaisen316: I whipped you so bad people were mailing me telling me to go easy on you

VPJG: This is why 3 man teams never work. I blame Daniels for the failure of this experiment. Now then, Daniels gets to pick the topic this week.
VPJG: PK gets to pick first.

PKitt411: why is a lowly playwright on something so classy as a wrestling website anyway?

Kaisen316: A three way topic, eh
Kaisen316: hm

VPJG: How long did it take you to type that PK? We’re at the serious part of the column now. Catch up, toy boy?

PKitt411: sorry, I’m playing with my new figures at the same time

Kaisen316: Of the three people who COULD be running the entire wrestling industry right now (the leaders of what were the big three) who should be?
Kaisen316: how is that?

VPJG: Heyman, Bischoff and McMahon?

Kaisen316: yes

VPJG: Whoever gets Heyman is gonna win.

PKitt411: McMahon

Kaisen316: Oh really?
Kaisen316: we’ll see

PKitt411: Well, Vince has held on to the sports entertainment industry for how many years now? could anyone imagine wrestling without him?

VPJG: 20. 20 years is a blink of an eye.

Kaisen316: Look, out of the three, Bischoff can craft the best storylines. Any douchebag can take RVD and Benoit and throw them in the ring for 20 minutes and make great TV. Bischoff made an incredible storyline with guys who can’t even wrestle
Kaisen316: and made you watch every week

PKitt411: it got tired really quick, and when Eric had to come up with something new, he fell flat on his face

VPJG: Heyman revolutionized wrestling. He indirectly caused the WWE to rise to national prominence. He still believes the business needs to change, and he’s right.

Kaisen316: Eric fell flat on his face because Upper level Turner tied his hands. They wouldn’t let the NWO expire, even though it had to.

VPJG: I have an idea.
VPJG: Let’s focus on these guys one at a time.

PKitt411: What about Bischoff/Russo, how can you possibly explain that
PKitt411: good idea

Kaisen316: Yeah, wouldn’t want to make Grut think in too many directions at once
Kaisen316: His brain might drip out his ear

VPJG: Yeah, let’s all randomly shout at each other!

PKitt411: You stole my jacket!

VPJG: Daniels, you’re an anarchist.
VPJG: Starting with Bischoff.

Kaisen316: Grut, you’re a douchebag.


Kaisen316: Fine, I reiterate my point above
Kaisen316: of the three guys, only Bischoff has ever managed to craft a compelling, believable storyline that kept you tuning in week after week

PKitt411: but what is better, 1 large storyline, or multiple small ones?

VPJG: I disagree. Obviously, people didn’t tune in week after week.
VPJG: They stopped watching.

Kaisen316: They stopped watching because he couldn’t logically end the storyline, because Time Warner and Hogan wouldn’t let him kill one of their biggest money makers ever
Kaisen316: If Bischoff has one weakness, it’s his ability to be pushed around

VPJG: By doing the same NWO beat down every week, Bischoff whittled down his viewership to the amount of people who visit the music and figures section combined.

Kaisen316: What about comics?

VPJG: Comics is gold, baby.
VPJG: Comics and wrestling are holding this whole site up.

PKitt411: and the forum


PKitt411: ::whimper whimper::

VPJG: Good. Now then, Bischoff contributed nothing original to wrestling.
VPJG: Even the NWO was stolen from Japan.

Kaisen316: Nothing original? Only, to that point, the most lucrative angle in wrestling.
Kaisen316: and what started the business surge of the late 90s

PKitt411: well, NWO was just a large stable made up of big name stars

Kaisen316: Vince stole Attitude form ECW

VPJG: Damn straight!

PKitt411: dont you think WWE/ECW were in on it together to begin with?


VPJG: PK, you smell like your arguments! Like Scott Keith’s semen!

PKitt411: Heyman was down Vince’s pants on a weekly basis

VPJG: They might have had a business relationship, but let’s not forget who the creative force behind that relationship was!

Kaisen316: Semen reference of the week. Check
Kaisen316: we need more cliche’s for this column
Kaisen316: hmmmm, Widro’s Testicles? Ashish’s Drugs?
Kaisen316: PK’s Toys?

PKitt411: so what, Heyman can write a good storyline…how would it be a success without Vince’s power?

VPJG: Daniels’ girlfriend who left him because she was driven into lesbian by his very small penis.
VPJG: That isn’t the question, PK.

PKitt411: Daniels being a bastard and stealing the only thing I will ever contribute to 411music

VPJG: It’s who SHOULD be running things. Heyman with McMahon’s money is the king of wrestling.
VPJG: Eric had McMahon’s money, MORE, and blew it.
VPJG: McMahon is blowing it.

PKitt411: Russo with Vince’s money was the king of wrestling
PKitt411: Russo had an ego, though

VPJG: Russo with Vince’s money is the king of softcore porn.

Kaisen316: pause guys, phone call……

VPJG: I know, we moved on.

PKitt411: whah!

VPJG: I bet it’s his ex! “I heard you inherited some money. I’ll blow you for a diamond.”

PKitt411: at least he is having sex….yeah, I’m pointing at you Grut

Kaisen316: This from the guy who misses me when I’m not around for more than a week?

Kaisen316: Daniels, where are you… I’m going through withdrawl.

VPJG: I enjoy doing this with you! I don’t get to be mean to people without repercussions anymore.

Kaisen316: Yeah, being out of college blows

VPJG: You asexual piece of nothing.
VPJG: Oh, and in response to PK…um…I do get laid every time you go to work.
VPJG: Yeah, that’ll work.

Kaisen316: Widro gets more pussy than all three guys in this conversation.
Kaisen316: and if that ain’t enough to throw off some cosmic balance
Kaisen316: Almost as much as Grut not paying for it.

PKitt411: of course you do, you jobless nothing

VPJG: Talk about cliches!


VPJG: Ah. Heyman.
VPJG: That would be beautiful.
VPJG: Could you imagine? A man who believed in wrestling over soap opera leading wrestling?

Kaisen316: Ummm, hello. Did you miss the Raven/Dreamer storyline
Kaisen316: Tommy/Beulah
Kaisen316: Douglas/Pittbulls

PKitt411: that’s all fine and dandy, but storylines sell the PPVs

VPJG: The man who introduced to Benoit, Guerrero, RVD, Tommy Dreamer, MADE SID VICIOUS COOL!
VPJG: And he did story lines also. Raven/Dreamer was one of the greatest feuds in wrestling.
VPJG: Lynn/RVD was a feud based on wrestling that drew fans in.

Kaisen316: yeah, for all twenty-three people that watched it

PKitt411: regardless of how he writes, he would be nothing without money

Kaisen316: I’m willing to wager you never saw a second of Raven/Dreamer, Grut

VPJG: Not live. Only on tape.
VPJG: Your point? This isn’t about who was the most successful!
VPJG: It’s about who should be running things.

Kaisen316: If Heyman was running things, we’d have more crippled wrestlers than we do now

PKitt411: exactly, Vince should be running things, he has the money and the passion for the business

VPJG: How do you know? You have a crystal ball?

PKitt411: Bischoff lacked passion. Heyman lacked money

Kaisen316: Yes, actually

VPJG: I’m shocked you have a ball left. I thought you told me your ex took your balls.
VPJG: Sorry, PK.

Kaisen316: I asked it to show me my bitch, and It showed me you.

PKitt411: Im gonna keep ranting here while being ignored…don’t worry

Kaisen316: Nah, I’m just being high and mighty like the music people tell me I am

VPJG: Wow! Your wrestling debate bitch! You must be so proud to have had the easy topic.

VPJG: And I loved your column calling for the death of Eminem for being mean to Weird Al.

Kaisen316: Me too!

VPJG: So, PK, we were talking about how you think Vince sucks and I slept with your wife.

Kaisen316: PK has a wife?!
VPJG: Yeah. I sleep with her!

PKitt411: oh, am I back into this?
PKitt411: yes I do, no he doesn’t

VPJG: Yes I do!

PKitt411: well, that would explain a lot though

VPJG: How you have circumcised kids? Yeah, sorry about that.

Kaisen316: *blink*
Kaisen316: I’m hoping he didn’t just go there
Kaisen316: but
Kaisen316: He did

VPJG: So, Vince McMahon.

PKitt411: Vince is the king, how can you argue with it?

VPJG: Did he lose it, or did he never have it?
VPJG: He stole from Rocky and rode Hogan for years. He stole from ECW and rode Austin for years.
VPJG: Now, there’s no one to steal from.

Kaisen316: I hear he’s looking to steal Crash Holly

VPJG: He has Crash Holly.

PKitt411: he doesn’t need to, Brock, Cena, Batista, Orton, are names of the near future
VPJG: Sorry.
VPJG: No they’re not. Maybe Cena.

Kaisen316: I heard he was going to steal from Batista, but Batista threw out his back driving home from the gym

VPJG: Batista was injured AGAIN?! He just got over the groin pull he sustained with your ex, Daniels.

Kaisen316: nah, my ex only wants Angle
Kaisen316: (and who doesn’t)

PKitt411: who thought HHH or Rock would succeed in their first 2 years?

VPJG: Batista is a lousy character. Vince let the creative team, no, it stops with him, Vince ruined Orton’s character. Brock is too plain. He’s got a good build and good athleticism, but he’s not interesting.

PKitt411: he isn’t now, he will turn heel again

VPJG: WOW! That always works!

PKitt411: he is the perfect Spiderman character…eventually people want to see the hero fail trying

Kaisen316: I think Brock Lesnar should play Eddie Brock in Spiderman 3
Kaisen316: Morse: That would be Venom for all you non-geeks out there

PKitt411: really, that would be a good casting job

VPJG: If I were you, I’d be saying that Vince may have stolen the ideas, but he perfected them. But I’m not and I’m winning so I’ll just let you lose.

PKitt411: although, I don’t think Venom will be 3, that should wait until 4

VPJG: Daniels: I cry myself to sleep at night, imagining holding my girlfriend.

PKitt411: Grutman: I’m a college graduate and I don’t have a job

VPJG: I’M A PLAYWRIGHT! Okay, I think you’ve both admitted defeat. Final arguments before we wrap up this mess?

Kaisen316: Grutman: I cry myself to sleep at night when I can’t get a hold of Daniels. I miss him… I envision holding him whilst dreaming Scott Keith’s semen

VPJG: God, that’s all true.

PKitt411: semen reference #2: check

VPJG: PK, as the guest, you may go first.

Kaisen316: Aren’t all NYC playwrights gay?


PKitt411: Vince has always had a firm grasp on sports entertainment, he has the passion for the industry, he has the money, he has the farm feds lined up, he has his kids to run things when he is gone, and he has solid young wrestlers when they finally decided to dump the old guys


Kaisen316: Eric Bischoff reinvented wrestling. When no one could f*ck with the almighty McMahon, he did. When no one could do it, he did. He revitalized wrestling and redefined it for the nineties. His one flaw, is that he couldn’t let it go, and he was too wishy-washy to run a business. However, no one can argue that he gave WCW the shot to do what they never could. Blow Vince out of the water

VPJG: Vince lost it. Eric is crap. Heyman is genius. Heyman led WWE over WCW without even being part of the company. Imagine what he can do with WWE’s exposure and money and roster. It would be a golden age of fake fighting. E. C. W.
VPJG: Well, send your votes to Daniels. Daniels, give them your address.

PKitt411: thanks for letting me try guys, altho this was a huge clusterf*ck

VPJG: Don’t worry, PK. I blame Daniels.

Kaisen316: Send them right here.
Kaisen316: anything involving Grut is a huge clusterf*ck

VPJG: He wanted to do the whole 3-way thing. I bet it’ll work better with our next guest!

Kaisen316: have you read his play?
Kaisen316: or his column
Kaisen316: clusterf*ck

VPJG: That’s a f*cking low blow.

PKitt411: who’s the next guest?



PKitt411: ya, and the f*cking my wife thing

Kaisen316: They will have to tune in to find out.

VPJG: It’s a mystery! Like how Daniels manages to consume five pints of Scott Keith semen a day.
VPJG: So, until next time, PK sucks tiny figure dicks and Daniels is a lonely, lonely man.

Kaisen316: PK is the salt of the earth…. Grutman is the salt content of nut-sweat

PKitt411: and Grut cries himself to sleep

VPJG: How’d you know?

PKitt411: Daniels ex told me