R. Kelly – Chocolate Factory Review

Sorry, kids, but if you’re lookin’ for a long-winded and grandstanding commentary on the alleged evils of Mr. Kelly, you’ll hafta look elsewhere. I’ve seen portions of “the tape” (thank God for my barbershop and the door-to-door bootleggers of current movies like Matrix 2 & Terminator 3, along with DJ Green Lantern mix tapes and illicit videos). It does look like him, but we’ll let 12 angry men and women decide his fate. I’m here to provide a not-too-timely review of his latest album, Chocolate Factory.

As of this writing, there are a lot of claims towards R. Kelly that are in dispute. One of those claims that cannot be argued is this: He is one of the most talented and prolific singers, songwriters and composers in the game today. This album is something of a departure from his usual work, though. Sure, he still knows how to flow as smoothly as syrup from Mrs. Buttersworth’s head, but this time around he’s dialed down the high-octane sex talk a few notches.

The title track features a wonderful piano loop and heartfelt lyrics to Black women. The words are only slightly scarred with the reality of Kelly’s current legal troubles. Heart of a Woman is another up-with-females joint, but it leans a little into realm of the absurd with it’s W.O.M.A.N. proclamations. It’s really the only song on the album that sounds like it was made specifically to say “Hey, I couldn’t have done any crime…see how much I love women?”

Double entendres and a funked-out beat are woven together on the album’s biggest hit, the remix to Ignition. Even on the “explicit” album version, Kelly doesn’t get too raunchy. That serves him well on this track, which is equal parts playful, passionate and provocative. Speaking of beats, Kelly brings even stronger heat on tracks like Step In The Name of Love and You Made Me Love You. The latter track features some dumbed-down lyrical work (“body curved like a pop bottle”), but Kelly exudes enough charm to make it forgivable.

What isn’t forgivable are some of the high-profile rap cameos. Kelly proves he might be ready to take the title of World Strongest Man, as he carries 500 pounds of Fat Joe on the track Who’s That. The lighter and less talented Ja Rule mails in his guest spot on Been Around The World, as well. It’s the typical “everyone hates us, but we still get the bitches” tripe that Rule spits and is easily the worst cut on the album. Surprisingly, the combination of R Kelly and Ron Isley also fails to deliver. Showdown is an over ambitious and over produced “epic” that ostensibly harkens back to the Down Low track, but now only sounds played out.

Chocolate Factory succeeds when Kelly isn’t tryin’ to do too much more than his production will allow. Tracks like Snake are reminiscent of the bouncy party tracks that he’s perfected like Fiesta. He comes with an old-school vibe on You Knock Me Out that would make the Temptations proud. And even the poppy and up-tempo Imagine That works because of how easily women can relate to the best-case scenario of romance.