Let’s not waste another keystroke
Readers’ Picks: You Wouldn’t Hit A Guy With
One of Gerwertz’s chosen few, Chris Nowinski, is the subject of this week’s readers’ pick. Readers Sean Smith of merry ol’ England and Brad of an aol handle caught a pretty funny bit by the Harvard grad on last week’s Sunday Night Heat before Bad Blood. I’ll let Brad handle the work:
Give credit to Chris Harvard for the most entertaining little thing of the night at Bad Blood. In the backstage segment, when d-von pinned him against the wall, chris had the presence of mind to flip his mask down. Such a ridiculous, patsy move, totally in line with his character. That’s why this guy should be a top heel.
I tend to agree. Chris’ character is unique in many ways. There is, of course, the reality of the character, but most importantly this guy has depth. Nowinski can play both the scheming genius and a nerd concerned about his face getting smashed in the same skit and it does not come off as haphazardly written. This is useful from the standpoint of creating wrestling storylines as well as entertaining the fans. That the writers can’t use him more effectively than they have is either a vote of no-confidence in his abilities in the ring and/or behind the mic or a sign of laziness on their part. Since most fans and even Gerwertz himself seem to recognize at least the potential for greatness present in the former, this column is going to go with the latter. More on this later
With the departures of some of this column’s favorite sons (Rock, D’Lo, and Victoria more or less, to name a few) there seemed to be a void waiting to be filled with new faces and new little things to obsesrve. Fortunately a couple of characters have stepped it up in recent weeks. Let’s see who’s got the right idea for the 06.23.2003 edition of RAW:
1. This Is Not A Test, Apparently
I continue to be impressed by Mr. Stevens’ recent work. He really seems like he is a whole new wrestler or is at least having fun in his program with Scott Steiner. To see him mocking Steiner’s moveset each week and gesturing lewdly towards his ex-manager is a sign of consistency that makes this columnist smile. In theory, I believe there is a Jeff Jarrett-type role for Test in this fed, but with a twist. I can envision a character that tries to make nice with the ladies, reverts over time back to his perverted ways and becomes incensed/violent over the inevitable break-up. The bonus upside to this gimmick would be that this could get a lot of faces sticking up for the damsel in distress over. Hell, the audience bought Jeff Hardy coming to Trish’s aid a couple of times and have also picked up on Steiner’s newfound role, so it could work. Anything to see Test flip out and act like a jerk as he is very good at it when he wants to be.
2. No Monkeying Around
Jericho demonstrated last night what this column is all about.
Let’s not even mention that new gesture he has when he wants to roll footage from a previous show or the fact that he calls the people in the production truck “monkeysâ€Â. Or the facts that the Jeritron 5000 and the juke ‘n’ jive set-up for a running knee are hilarious and always will be. All you need to know is this: when he and Storm were double-teaming Buh-Buh in the corner with the ref’s back turned, Jericho scampered out of the ring and smacked his own hand as the ref turned to give the impression that a tag had been made.
Here’s to you, Y2J.
3. Long-shot
This columnist will make no qualms about it – I love the use of a manager to create feuds and twists in matches and I especially love Teddy Long because he has charisma that stands out amongst his peers. Anytime I get to hear “lemme holla at ya playas†and “thuggin’ an’ buggin’â€Â, I’m a happy guy. The crack about light-skinned brothers going out 3 years ago was probably the funniest line of the night next to Lawler saying that Kane might be unbelievably handsome under his mask like himself.
However, this booking is ridiculous and here is where Mr. Gerwertz is failing miserably to help his favorites. Are we really supposed to believe that a character like Long’s is upset that a Harvard grad like Nowinski lost out to Maven, a black guy, in an organized competition? Long is not supposed to speak up for the guy of privilige, crackheads. I can take a lot of nonsense in my wrestling stories and forget a lot of the past events that contradict what is going on now, but the line has to be drawn somewhere.
Nowinski should not even be in this stable at all. Maybe on an ancillary basis to stir stuff up like on Heat last week, but nothing more. He should be where he believes he should be – on his own, crafting ingenius plans to demonstrate his all-around superiority. This is not rocket science.
I feel better now.
4. Kiss And Make Up
I still love La Res, no matter how many people on here criticize their ring work. They don’t even have to wrestle so long as they bring that flag, hug and now kiss before they enter a match, wear those ridiculous costumes and Rene does that dance before each bout.
However, unless you are trying to intentionally sing the anthem incorrectly like Oulette and Rougeau used to perform with Colonel Parker, it might help to remember the words. These guys are supposed to be authentic in their Frenchness, not bumblers. Great idea for a touch, though.
5. HHHere We Go Again
Well before we get this started, let’s make a few things clear. This column does not dislike HHH for the same reasons that you might. I do not care who he is sleeping with (in fact, I am more envious than anything), I do not care how much power he wields in booking decisions, and I don’t care if he hates the Internet. My opinion on HHH can be discerned just as my opinion on any other wrestler can be discerned – by going back over the past 6 months and seeing how much I’ve written about that wrestler. You should know by now what I think are the key elements that comprise an entertaining wrestler and which ones exhibit those traits most often. You can tell some of the tools I like to see in crafting an interesting storyline or match. I think most of these are more or less universal, but most importantly, I think they often go unnoticed by a lot of fans. My job is to keep things in perspective.
HHH, on a scale of 1-10, is probably a 5 in this column’s eyes. He doesn’t do a lot to annoy me but doesn’t do a lot to excite me either. I like his theme music and entrance bit a lot, I like the use of the sledgehammer as a tool of choice for his character and that is about it. His promo work, while decent, is not Rock-like and I’d say that his in-ring work is solid most of the time. Nothing to get worked up about.
I think HHH misses the boat during matches to make his character more interesting. His mentor, Ric Flair, had a way of looking up just before he slapped on the figure-four that made you realize the end was near for the opponent. HHH, on the other hand, still just plainly kicks his opponent and slaps on that pedigree to end matches. HHH has a ton of moves in his repetoire that are equally without touch – the facecrusher, spinebuster, etc. I will not cut him slack either by saying that a kick affords him little opportunity to be creative, because Austin and his middle finger before the kick before the stunner have rendered that argument weak.
Last night another problem surfaced. Most heels do the hitting with the belt in question to win a match. Even Christian knows this. Only rarely does the face turn the table and steal a victory in this fashion. But last night, yet again, HHH jumped over to the other side and survived a belt shot, this time from Kane, to keep a match going. You can’t have it both ways, Mr. Levesque. It is plainly obvious that HHH prefers to be the hated master of his craft in terms of character, but simultaneously enjoys the miraculous able-to-take-a-killer-shot-and-survive aspects of a face. This is an irksome little thing that goes on in a lot of his matches.
Finally, think about this. His new role as the backbone of Evolution is actually well-suited to his character. I can easily see a guy like HHH needing to surround himself with contemporaries who constantly remind him how great he is and are used to keep him power. It’s perfect. But if you want to be Hollywood Hogan to the New World Order, you have to go the extra steps further. You have to turf people out, especially those who fail. You have to be a bully to those who are beneath you (and couldn’t you see him doing this to Orton effectively?). I don’t see HHH doing a lot of this yet, but the potential is at least there. I think there should be a few suckers who mistakenly join Evolution only to be beaten down just to demonstrate how powerful they are before member number 4 is revealed. But I digress.
In sum, I just don’t think HHH does enough with his character to entertain me. And that’s precisely why I don’t like him that much. How is that for a novel argument?
Keep the comments coming and I’ll see you next week.
