I’m starting to see a pattern with my columns lately. I gather all my newsbits that I want to expound on during the day at work, email myself the newsbits, and then sit and watch my wrestling tape and put the column together. Unfortunately, since I’m a dumbass for a record third week in a row, I get to try to remember what newsbits I found interesting since I forgot to email them to myself.
If you’re wondering, that’s the reason the last couple columns have been short as hell and why I’ve been flaky the last couple of weeks. I’m trying to get it back together, I promise.
Of course, since I’m pretty sure no one reads this, it’s ok. As Your Lord and Mine Hyatte says, I’m the ignored newsguy, so… whatever.
Mailbag!
Oh wait, no mail.
Moving on.
Releasing This Week
Michelle Branch with a new disc, that no one is going to care about except 15 year olds. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle Soundtrack with a couple good 80s tunes. Why anyone would purchase a CD for 80s tunes, though, just kind of baffles me… I mean seriously, look at the track list:
1. Feel Good Time – Pink featuring William Orbit
2. Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting) – Nickelback featuring Kid Rock
3. Rebel, Rebel (new recording) – David Bowie
4. Danger! High Voltage – Electric Six
5. Livin’ On A Prayer – Bon Jovi
6. Any Way You Want It – Journey
7. Surfer Girl – The Beach Boys
8. Working For The Weekend – Loverboy
9. A Girl Like You – Edwyn Collins
10. Nas’ Angels…The Flyest – Nas featuring Pharrell
11. I Just Want To Be Your Everything – Andy Gibb
12. This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) – Natalie Cole
13. U Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer
14. Last Dance – Donna Summer
U Can’t Touch This? Come on, the entire fanbase of this movie owns this song… probably on cassette (represent!). Loverboy? Yeah, my mother and father have this one on vinyl.
Actually, who cares… hopefully it’ll tune some of you rugrats into what the 80s was all about. Drinkin and Partyin and Getting Laid. Or… at least… so MTV used to tell me. I was only 11 at the end of the 80s.
Over in Rap/R&B we got Beyonce’s solo effort. Yah, moving on we got… not much else of note, so let’s move on to a new section.
Dumbass Parents of the Week Award
So, what’s the best thing to do with a nine-day-old baby? Feed him, love him, and keep him close to your heart? None of the above.
If you answered “take him to an AC/DC concert,†you would be as stupid as a couple of brand new parents over in Hockenheim, Germany. Police received a tip when other fans spotted a 41-year old mother holding the baby in the stands. The couple only agreed to leave when a doctor at the scene told them of the danger to the young baby’s still developing ears.
Police are investigating neglect charges.
Even Angus Young said: Damn, those folks are stupid, aye?
Credit: AFP via Yahoo
Another Osbourne?
A woman has filed a paternity suit against Ozzy Osbourne, claiming that he fathered a baby with her six years ago during a Black Sabbath Tour.
Ozzy, however, has pretty good proof the child isn’t his. According to an interview in People Magazine, he had a vasectomy seventeen years ago.
Ozzy said: The most precious thing I have in my life is my marriage and my children and now someone is trying to destroy the harmony in my family. This is not going to happen
The woman, conveniently, is looking for an out of court settlement.
Come on, do your research before filing a frivolous lawsuit.
Maynard Keeps Busy
According to Blabbermouth, A Perfect Circle has announced their lead single off their new album, due 8/19, will be The Outside. I’ll let you know just as soon as I hear it.
Not Much Going On, Apparently
Considering There were no posts on the newsboard Sunday and only two on Monday, I’m going to chalk that up to: Not much happening in the music world. There was one really interesting article on Billboard about artists and recording industry execs fighting over whether or not they should release singles online. The artists are against it, while the execs are for it, since it squeezes every red cent out of the music. Gotta side with the execs on this one… take the money where you can get it.
Also, the Internet’s favorite whipping girl, Hilary Rosen will be stepping down from her post as president of the RIAA on July 1st. As of now, no replacement has been officially announced.
In Other Reading
Rhett Walker discusses All Things Rock.
Evocator with Time Machine 25
Check out all the Reviews you can handle.
In Conclusion
Yeah, that’s it for this week… 2 newsboard bits in 48 hours does not for a full column make.
I’ll catch up next week when, hopefully, I have something more to offer.
Later all.
