The Little Things 07.02.03: Christian, HHH, Rico & More

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Let me tell ya, if you want people to respond to a column, mention Mr. H. Tons of feedback, mostly in support of my view that HHH’s real problem is that he is just not that entertaining in the ring. Going a step further from last week’s piece, I’d theorize that this amplifies the anger over his perceived backstage political doings. Afterall, if he were putting on 5 star matches, including doing the little things to make a match entertaining to the fans, nobody outside of a small cult of antagonists would really care who he is banging. Kinda like JFK or Clinton in a way.

Actually, that is kind of how it is now the more I think about it. Oh well.

This will be a fairly short column. But better short than not at all, I say.

Oops, I Did It Again

Yes, I know that Test’s real name is Andrew Martin. Whoever can figure out what was on my mind when I said Stevens instead will get a special mention next week. And no, it wasn’t drugs, but good guess.

Readers’ Picks: Keep Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’

I apologize for the Limp Bizkit reference, but it has its place in this weeks readers’ picks section. Reader Jonathan Lipinski brought something to my attention that really differentiates today’s product from that of days gone by:

When WWE goes to break in the middle of a match, Lawler says “when we come
back the match will continue!”, where as on older programs, it was “we’ll keep the cameras rolling so if the match ends, we can replay the finish.” It just made it seem more real as though the announcers didn’t know the finish beforehand. Why not let a match end on commercial? It would teach the channel flippers a lesson, when they come back 5 minutes later and the match is over.

Well I doubt they’d ever end a match during commercials. The risk of pissing off the audience would be too great. Your point about the loss of realism is not lost upon me, though. In fact, during last night’s Booker T/Christian title match, I was reminded how much of a low profile customs like ringing the bell to start a match have assumed over the years. Things like ringing a bell, keeping time, and promising the viewers to show the end of a match if it ends during commercials all lend realism to the product and they just aren’t emphasized anymore for whatever reasons (most likely the direction WWe has taken in considering itself more entertainment than sport). Not until that match, it seems, had they made a big deal about proceedings happening before the bell and thus being insufficient for throwing out a match. It’s one of the things that made me like that match that much more.

There were other things to like about that match and others, fortunately. Let’s see who’s did the little deeds for the 06.30.2003 edition of RAW:

1. Stormy Reception

I would not normally do two of these, but reader Steve Guerry dropped me a line about how much he liked Storm’s attempts to look up and make eye contact during the reading of his prepared statements. And you know that when it’s for a goofy facial expression, this column will make exceptions. Good call Steve and good job Lance for putting an interesting touch on your boring character.

2. Shout Outs

Last night Christian took his gimmick a step further for the first time I believe. It’s not enough to talk about having your peeps and making them happy. No, you have to acknowledge them during a match in a very arrogant fashion TWICE to show how loved and respected you are in the arena. Excellent stuff. This really does make me want to watch Christian matches that much more.

3. Working Things Out

Mr. MARTIN continues to do a good job. Hell, he might even get his own section if he keeps this up. Jumping jacks (I swear if he does sit ups next week he will get his own section), the bicep flex while walking up the ramp and doing push-ups over a fallen Stacy made for another very entertaining performance from Test.

4. Rico Suave!

Here is where I begin to wonder if WWe really reads my column. Recently, I suggested that to make this gimmick more interesting, Rico should have a tete a tete with Goldust and make his character a little more over-the-top. Well, job well done right there. Among the new touches were tons of prancing, including with the ref, a key to what I’d assume is Rico’s motel room, some ass-grabbing, a little kiss on the cheek and a very funny pin attempt. Hey, at least he is trying unlike

5. HHHere We Go Again

Or maybe I spoke too soon. They may not have been his trademark touches to a match, but I give him credit for the Flair flop, the trademark double team off of the figure four, and a solid mocking of RVD’s thumbs pose. These things at least further the idea that HHH is supposed to be evolving from the elder statesmen of the trade, taking their good habits and adding his own. Now, if he would only add his own maybe I and everyone else could get off his back. For a week or so at least.

Keep the comments coming and I’ll see you next week.