VPJG: Hi everyone. Welcome back to another Grut vs. Daniels. This week we buck the trendy guest thing and get down to the heart and soul of this column: me.
VPJG: And Daniels.
VPJG: After destorying both Flea and Daniels in the last one, I get to choose the topic this week.
Kaisen316: That’s because you didn’t let me take Flair
VPJG: You could have picked Flair, pussy. The 4th of July has just passed, which brings our thoughts to nationalism. That brings our thoughts to anti-countryism in the WWE. Is it good or bad for wrestling?
Kaisen316: oh, you mean the Anti American Gimmick?
Kaisen316: IE: The stupidest most overused Gimmick in Wrestling HIstory?
VPJG: So you’re taking the bad side?
Kaisen316: Um……. yes
VPJG: Good! Obviously, you hate America.
Kaisen316: Obviously I…. err wait.
Kaisen316: How did you get that?
VPJG: You don’t support America vs. France in the WWE. You think it’s stupid. I see that as a lack of faith in our country.
VPJG: If you were Turkish, you’d be tortured daily!
Kaisen316: That is very possibly the stupidest argument you’ve ever made
Kaisen316: and you’ve made quite a few
VPJG: The Turkish whip their women and flog their men. I don’t want to know why the WWE plays with stereotypes. That’s an easily identifiable source of entertainment, an instant heel when others have to work for years to perfect a gimmick. In Turkey, they slaughter children for laughing. You want to be Turkish?
Kaisen316: What in the blue hell does any of this have to do with Turkey, turkey?
Kaisen316: Besides, there are a thousand ways to be an effective heel with out playing with the SUPER played out anti American gimmick
VPJG: I’m saying that if you don’t want to live in America, US of A, there are plenty of American detention centers in Turkey that would be happy to have you.
VPJG: The gimmick isn’t played out. Listen to the boos La Resistance get.
VPJG: If it stills draws, how could it be played out?
Kaisen316: Draws mean people would pay to see them get beat, not turn the channel when they come on
Kaisen316: it’s so played out it’s not even funny…. How many times over the last ten years have they tried to run this stupid gimmick?
Kaisen316: Note to readers, I refuse to comment on the Turkey thing any further on the grounds of its utter stupidity
VPJG: You don’t know that. The foreign heel is a staple of wrestling. Anti-Semitism, racism and hatred for foreigners plays well in the heartland of this great nation you wish you didn’t live in. Just because they like their entertainment to be simple, they shouldn’t be entertained by what is admittedly a lowbrow form of entertainment?
VPJG: We need to subject them to technical wrestling and creepy gothic gimmicks?
VPJG: Everyone needs to be Raven?
Kaisen316: Umm, let’s see. The Rock, Christian, Edge, Randy Savage, HHH, Hogan, Ric Flair.
Kaisen316: Would you like me to continue naming great heels that didn’t use an Anti-America gimmick, or should I begin rattling off its successes… like… ummmmm…. The Mountie?
VPJG: You wish you were locked in the stocks in a Turkish Prison where the execute Americans for breathing through their nose.
VPJG: Oh yeah. Hulk Hogan had nothing to do with playing off of anti-Americanism.
VPJG: The Iron Sheik. The Fabulous Rougeous or something. Nikoli Volkoff. The Nikoli from WCW I forget the name of.
Kaisen316: Yeah, he must have been great if you can’t remember his name
VPJG: Hulk Hogan as a face would have been nothing without the evil Foreigners.
VPJG: You wish you were in Turkey right now, being injected with herpes in your penis for suggesting that a girl show her boobies.
Kaisen316: So yeah, I guess ALL Hogan’s anti-American opponents created him… you know, like Roddy Piper, King Kong Bundy, Randy Savage, and Andre the Giant
VPJG: Give me a break. He was popular for fighting those guys, but there’s a reason why he’s known as Mr. America.
VPJG: Rather, there’s a reason he was given that gimmick.
Kaisen316: Oh Lord, everyone watch, in awe, as Josh Grut ties La Resistance to Hulk Hogan and Mr. America
VPJG: You don’t believe in cheap heat?
VPJG: You think everything should be Fraiser?
Kaisen316: Of course I do, My first column was named that.
Kaisen316: Cheap Heat made Edge and Christian.
VPJG: Daniels, Fraiser lover who wants to live in Turkey.
VPJG: Then what’s wrong with the evil foreigner?
VPJG: It’s one of the oldest and most effective forms of cheap heat.
Kaisen316: effective?
VPJG: In Turkey, they chop off your arm for making a ham sandwich.
Kaisen316: How many perennial superstars have been begun with the Evil Anti American?
VPJG: Why does longevity have to play a role in deciding effectiveness? It revived Slaughter’s career.
Kaisen316: Revived it into one of the worst selling Wrestlemanias of all time?
VPJG: Why does it have to be huge? Why can’t it have to do with the all-together show?
VPJG: It is a small part of the bigger picture.
VPJG: It riles up the crowd and makes their opponents more popular.
VPJG: Even if just briefly, it works wonders.
Kaisen316: Wait, was that a logical argument?
Kaisen316: holy shit, I almost forgot what they looked like
Kaisen316: !
VPJG: I f*cked you kinda ex-girlfriend while your mom masturbated.
Kaisen316: ah, welcome back, Grut
Kaisen316: we lost you for a minute
VPJG: So your argument is that you’re sick of it? Does that make it bad, that one person feels that way?
Kaisen316: Personally, yes, I’m sick of it. That doesn’t make it bad. What makes it bad is that it has been used and overused more than Vince and his Southern Hicks.
VPJG: Name five in the past two year. Tag teams don’t count as two.
Kaisen316: How about all the Anti-Americans? Test, Christian, etc.
Kaisen316: Lance Storm in WCW
Kaisen316: Stephen Regal
VPJG: I just want to note it took him a long time to type that. And where is Lance Storm now? Where is Christain now? Gone?
Kaisen316: Yeah, Christian lost the gimmick… and when you put me on the spot it takes me a minute to remember.
VPJG: They got booed like Nazi’s. If they cut their hair, the gimmick would probably still be over.
Kaisen316: Of all people, don’t YOU also have a problem with the total lack of creativity?
Kaisen316: oh, and how about Hacksaw Jim Duggan in WCW, too?
Kaisen316: will we argue that it revitalized his career, too?
VPJG: Hacksaw the evil Canadian. That was awesome.
VPJG: He said still said Ho, but it was an evil Ho. Like a demonic Santa.
VPJG: If you lived in Turkey, mentioning the name Santa gets your tounge cut out and placed in the butt of a pig, Captain Turkey!
Kaisen316: You know what I heard?
Kaisen316: Anyone rated lower than 30 in the IWC 100 has an opinion that doesn’t count
Kaisen316: oh, and look where I am!
VPJG: Oh yeah. Flea is the authority. We should all listen to drunken redneck who smokes more pot than Cheech and Chong.
Kaisen316: Potheads are not bad people.
Kaisen316: In fact, I believe Cheech Marin should be bronzed and placed in the Smithsonian
VPJG: I find it odd that my friend who enjoys getting me angry would place you above me on a list when EVERYONE knows that I am far more important to 411 than you.
VPJG: But we were discussing how foreign heels can give any good guy a temporary, but large, face pop.
Kaisen316: OK, Mr Self Important, let’s continue
VPJG: And also how you like the salami in the buttox.
VPJG: That’s something else I heard from Flea, Mr. 86 until you took the salami in the buttox.
Kaisen316: Hmmm, 59 spots in six months? I’ll take it.
VPJG: In Turkey, they skin you alive for sodomy. Then they feed the skin to people who popped a pimple.
Kaisen316: Regardless, I believe you were telling me about Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s tremendous heel offering to the sport of professional wrestling
Kaisen316: please continue whilst I read in awe.
VPJG: You know what? It wasn’t bad. Even if it was just for a short while, it was cool to see the guy reinvent himself into the opposite of what he was.
VPJG: Admit it, you laughed the first time he came out with the bald head and the Canadian flag.
Kaisen316: Actually, I didn’t recognize him minus the beard.
VPJG: You punk.
Kaisen316: Please refer to me as “nine place higher than me punk”
VPJG: The foreign angle is one that will always get a crowd reaction. It allows heels to be faces in their home country. It allows faces to be even bigger faces in their home country. What’s wrong with a little nationalism?
VPJG: I swear to Christ! I AM A TWO TIME 411 AWARD WINNER! HOW MANY HAVE YOU WON?
VPJG: I GOT A 1530 ON MY SAT’S! HOW’D YOU DO?
Kaisen316: Actually, I got a 1539, go figure
VPJG: I DON’T TAKE THE SALAMI IN THE BUTTOX FROM FLEA, NOR DO I LIVE IN TURKEY! HOW ABOUT YOU!
VPJG: I AM EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO BE! I AM A GOD ON THE NET! PEOPLE READ THIS COLUMN FOR ME, STRAIGHT MAN!
Kaisen316: The foreign angle will always get crowd reaction, but it NEVER gets anyone over. Look at Christian.
Kaisen316: He’s getting really great, sustained reaction…. AFTER dropping the Anti-American gimmick
VPJG: YOU’RE MY BITCH! ADMIT IT!
Kaisen316: feh, like people would read a column for someone who isn’t even in the Top 30
VPJG: FUCK THIS! FINAL ARGUMENT TIME!
VPJG: Pussy, you go ahead and puss your way first.
VPJG: Fucking pussy shithead.
Kaisen316: so sensitive
VPJG: 9 places higher. I’M A FUCKING AWARD WINNER! YOU’RE SHIT!
Kaisen316: Hold on Grut… wait…. is that? Yep… it is. Let me get that tear for you.
Kaisen316: anyway, final argument:
Kaisen316: The Anti-American gimmick is, perhaps, one of the most useless gimmicks in professional wrestling. It gets no one over and is totally worthless. NO one wants to watch it, and it does nothing but force Americans (most of the WWE’s audience) to be bored and turn the channel.
VPJG: There is nothing wrong with pride in the good old U S of A. Or Canada. Professional sports teams, who do not have the luxory of running angles to make it seem like one team hates the other more, rely almost soley in home state pride to boost a club. You call it over used, but it is used every day by politicians, the Army, comedians, song writers… playing off of nationalism shouldn’t be considered an angle that can run its course. It is human nature, always has been and always will be. The WWE would be stupid to not play off it.
VPJG: Since I have a LIFE and have to do my plays this week, Daniels is going to edit this and take your votes. Daniels, tell them where to send them.
VPJG: In Turkey, they stuff you full of bread crumbs serve you for dinner simply for being a native of the country.
Kaisen316: send em to DaniesIsNineBetterThanGrut@DanielsRules.com
Kaisen316: ok, so that’s not a real email address.
Kaisen316: but this one is real.
VPJG: Okay, mini-debate time. Seriously, how can you possibly claim to be better than me.
VPJG: Come on. How are you better than me, Saturday boy?
VPJG: Name 1 thing you’ve written that can even begin to compare with A Wrestling Tale?
Kaisen316: Name 1 part of 411 that you’ve designed?
Kaisen316: Name 1 part of 411 that you programmed.
VPJG: Oh wow! So you created the kiddie motif. How proud you must feel.
VPJG: I swear, I feel like I write for f*cking Blue’s Clues.
Kaisen316: no, actually the design is Widro’s… way to insult the Webmaster, chucklez
Kaisen316: Actualy, My college roommate is the nephew of the lady who created Blue’s Clues.
Kaisen316: She said: “I’d have hired that Grutman kid, but Daniels rated nine higher than him on the IWC 100”
VPJG: Widro is my friend. Putting the site together doesn’t make you a great wrestling writer. It makes you one of a million freaks with a computer whose ex-girlfriend I’m f*cking right now.
Kaisen316: As are you, my friend. May I point out that you ALSO write for a wrestling website.
VPJG: Shut up. Hey, should Daniels have placed higher than me? Along with your vote for the whole foreign thing.
Kaisen316: Why do you need this personal gratification?
Kaisen316: does it really bother you that much?
VPJG: CAUSE NOBODY ELSE LOVES ME!
Kaisen316: Grut, would it make you feel better if I swapped spaces with you?
VPJG: No. This wound will never heal. Signing off, this is Joshua Grutman.
Kaisen316: And this is Joshua Grutman + 9
Kaisen316: also known as Daniels
VPJG: You suck.
Kaisen316: ouch
