The LIttle Things 07.10.03: Victoria, Victoria, & More Victoria

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Let’s do this.

Even Stevens

Oh, so that’s who was on my mind when I mistakenly called Test by Andrew Stevens instead of his real name, Andrew Martin. Well, at least it was someone cool.

Quite the resume this guy has, not to mention a few soft core scenes with Shannon Tweed.

John Granny, aka Coach Grum, was the first to call it correctly, and therefore gets all the glory. Congrats, but don’t tell the kids you are coaching about what you have been watching.

Readers’ Picks: How You Gonna Act Like My Rims Ain’t Clean?

Ha Ha, my best pop culture reference yet! You’ll see.

Well, I don’t normally mention SmackDown! in this column, but since Kurt is only going to be around another year (and of course since it’s a wrestling-related retirement promise, we know it’s as good as the gold in his medals) and a couple of readers liked it so much, here ya go. I’ll let “my biggest fan” Erik do the honors, because the title affords such a privilige:

I’m not sure if u do little things for Smackdown, but the spot with Angle and Lesnar where Angle wipes Lesnar’s spit off his milk container after he drinks his milk was the single greatest thing ever.

Who says Kurt doesn’t bring us quality entertainment as a face? Greatest Little Thing Ever there’s an ida. Although, I’m not sure if I’m so devoid of material that I’d have to resort to an all-time list for the Little Things what do you think? I believe I’d have to divide the entries by popularity and by “cool”, to be judged subjectively by me, of course.

Switching back to RAW mode, let’s take a look at Little Five for the 06.30.2003 edition of RAW, with a little added commentary about the state of the women’s division right now (read: complaining about why Victoria isn’t queen of the entire division). It is also interesting to note that there appears to be some stagnation as far as characters that are consistently putting the work into their craft

1. Expensive Tastes

Well it’s not like he is doing enough. Jericho earned yet another spot on the list this week with that absolutely hilarious facial expression he delivered after viewing footage on the Jeritron. He really did look like he was going to burst but it was funny. His on the fly explanation of working in a match in Canada being the equivalent of wrestling for free was also hilarious.

On a related note, I’ll give credit where it is due. Scott Keith is correct when he states that Jericho calling the Jeritron expensive, even when he doesn’t have to, is funny.

2. My Favorite Martin

However, I’ll also state when he is wrong. Test stalking Trish is the perfect continuation of his gimmick. The opportunities for character advancement are certainly there as he could find new, creative ways to get her attention and some face could easily get over coming to her rescue as I’ve discussed before. As long as the skits are done creatively and with humor, such as when he delivers comments like him being “Surprisingly single” when hitting on the diva.

Even better, an old hound like Kevin Nash actually put the newer guy over. Cleanly! Of course, he still complained even though the skit and match delivered character continuity and elevation. Some people just can’t be pleased.

Major points by the way to Ms. Garcia for running away from Test when he got in the ring. When the ring announcer is paying more attention to character development than some of the wrestlers, there is a problem.

3. Shake, Shake, Shake Senora

Randy Orton’s alibi for the Tommy Dreamer beating PERFECTLY suited his character. That’s exactly what a cocky upstart like Orton should be doing in his spare time, drinking a protein shake to keep himself in maximum condition. Now, if we could only seem more instances of this behavior, we’d have a real breakout heel on our hands.

4. I Can’t Watch

Steve Austin constantly looking away from Kane was really key. It not only got over the hideousness of his face, but it made Kane’s seemingly illogical reaction to Austin’s comment on the Bischoff chokeslam carry some weight, because Kane had received physical signs of Austin being insincere. Afterall, who is Kane to believe someone who can’t look him straight in his eye?

I know a lot of people don’t care about this type of thing, but I do and I appreciate it. You should, too.

5. How I Learned What A Benoit Fan Feels Like, or, This Gail Kim Chick Does Not Deserve To Go Over Victoria

I cannot say enough about the level of effort Victoria puts forth in the ring. She really makes all the other women and a lot of the men look bad in my eyes. From the minute her music hits, she is grasping at her head and babbling to Stevie and continues to do so, even during her opponent’s music (good job, camera guy for allowing us to note this). In the ring, she really has stepped it up with chokes and kicks followed up by guttural shrieks that really make you feel like her opponent is in trouble. But here is what I really like – when she trapped Kim in the corner and started delivering the shoulders to the mid-section, did it not seem reminiscent of how Brock Lesnar delivers the goods? Could it be that someone from another roster is taking notes on another wrestler? Call me crazy, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt. She plays through pain, stays in character and wrestles some of the finest women’s matches I’ve seen.

Which makes it hard for me as a fan to accept her losing to Kim again. Not that I don’t think Kim has breakout potential, I just don’t see the goods that necessitate her having the belt yet. Most debut-title win hybrids don’t work out and this one is headed in the same direction for the same reason: Because the fans never had a reason outside of some good production work to care. And indeed, Gail has not shown us much of anything beyond the ability to take off Val Venis’ towel and look excited and surprised when she wins. The risk here (albeit a small one given the size of the division) is that in putting a potential flash in the paln like Kim over, Victoria becomes devalued as a wrestler. This risk is noteworthy because Lita is due back at any moment and there aren’t a lot of credible diva heels around to give her a good program (assuming Jazz is on the shelf for awhile).

Ideally, and conveniently for me of course, Victoria should have won the belt outright and went on a healthy reign in lieu of Lita’s return. Kim on the other hand could have worked a program with Trish or someone else to establish some sort of character for us to care about.

Not that I’m fantasy booking or anything like that though.

Anyhow, that is it for me, keep the comments coming and I’ll see you next week. Also, my apologies for not being responsive to any e-mail I’ve received. Life has been very busy lately. I’ll try to catch up when I get some time.