The SmarK DVD Rant for The Simpsons — Season Three
– Man, where do you start with one of these things? If you think trying to add a fresh perspective to Casablanca is tough, try tackling the longest-running animated series in history and one of the biggest pop culture phenomenons of our lifetime.
Delayed by nearly a year while the commentaries were recorded, this set covers the first real powerhouse season of what was becoming something special at the time. Whereas the first two seasons were fairly traditional, Flintstone-ish cartoons in their construction (if not their attitude, however) the third season marked a more radical departure for the writing, as things like the “First 10 minutes have no connection to the rest of the show” tradition began, and the “One character suddenly thinks about an unconnected sight gag” convention started popping up more often, and would lead to the spawn of such shows as The Critic and Family Guy as a result.
And watching the episodes in order, you remember just how incredibly funny the show truly was at its peak.
The Film:
A four-disc set containing all 24 episodes of the third season, there’s no real theme here, other than the constant maturing of the writing and transformation of the show from underappreciated underdog to 500-pound comedy gorilla. These are the episodes that people truly know by heart now, and some of the most quotable lines in the history of the series come from them. And best of all, they’re not hacked to pieces by syndication, and you get the jokes as INTENDED. I won’t even ATTEMPT to cover all the in-jokes and history behind the episodes, for that I heartily recommend every Simpsons geek’s bible, www.snpp.com, which has every episode broken down in excruciatingly anal detail with quotes, explanations of all the obscure references, freeze frame gags, and more.
At any rate, this is the season where things shifted dramatically from “The Old Simpsons” to episodes that are interchangeable with ones from later seasons, in terms of look and style. And that shift comes fairly soon in the season.
Disc One
– Stark Raving Dad. Right out of the box with a bonafide classic to open the season, as Michael Jackson makes a famous uncredited guest appearance on the show, playing himself. Sort of. In a development long-predicted by Marge, Bart sends Homer to the crazy house literally. A red hat put into the wash turns Homer’s white shirt into a pink shirt, which convinces Mr. Burns that Homer has in fact, gone crazy. Once his laziness causes him to fail a sanity test, Homer ends up institutionalized with Michael Jackson. Or, at least a big fat white guy who claims to be Michael. And Homer, being not only trusting but incredibly stupid, believes every word and brings him home to meet the family, and he ends up helping Bart to write a birthday song for Lisa. The throwaway gags and vicious satire of the whole mental health profession is great, and the story holds up after millions of viewings. Most quotable line: “You’re a credit to dementia!”, yelled by Lisa at the end of the show as “Michael” walks away. Another contender comes right before, as he asks “Which one of us is truly crazy?” and Homer happily responds “Not me, I’ve got THIS!” while holding up his “Not Insane” certificate.
– Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington. A play on “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”, this one sees Homer becoming addicted to a magazine not unlike Reader’s Digest, which in turn offers Lisa a chance to go to Washington as the winner of a local essay contest about how much she loves the USA. But her patriotic fervor is tested when she discovers that horror of horrors POLITICIANS ARE CORRUPT! Okay, not exactly treading new moral waters there, but the subject matter is timeless. Luckily, cartoon justice moves faster than real life, and soon her innocence is restored, although her anti-Washington rant in place of her essay earns her last place. In all honesty, the Bill Russell jokes just aren’t funny, though. Not just Bill, but Bart’s critique of him. Most quotable line: “CESSPOOL! CESSPOOL! CESSPOOL!”, as Bart cheers on his sister as only he can.
– When Flanders Failed. A meaner version of Homer than usual sees him attending a BBQ held by Ned, and basically wishing on a turkey bone to derail plans for the Leftorium, Springfield’s first left-handed store. While Flanders is unshakably positive throughout, soon enough he’s selling his living room suite to Homer for $75 and living out of his car, and Homer starts thinking that maybe it’s his fault. The main storyline sucks as far as comedy goes, but the real goldmine is Bart taking a karate class, and skipping out after one lesson to play video games. This was pretty much the last one to feature the more structured storyline, and from here on it was anarchy as far as creativity went. Most quotable line: “TV gives so much and asks so little. It’s a boy’s best friend.”
– Bart The Murderer. One of my personal, all-time favorites sees the first of many mafia parodies by Matt and friends. Bart, having the worst day of his life, stumbles upon the Legitimate Businessmen’s Social Club, where he meets future recurring character William “Fat Tony” Williams and his mafia buddies. Soon he’s mixing drinks for the boys and finding himself rising in the ranks faster than most 10-year olds probably would, all things considered. However, when he’s late for work because of detention, Principal Skinner goes missing, and suddenly Bart is the head of a major crime family in the eyes of the law. Most quotable line: Too many to pick from here, but Doogie Howser playing Bart Simpson in the TV movie could qualify, as well as Bart’s “Supoib” or Fat Tony’s debut of “it’s funny because it’s true” as a running gag in the show could all qualify. My favorite remains the press conference, where Chief Wiggum declares “Fat Tony is a cancer, and we are uh, Lou, what cures cancer?” This one’s also a treasure trove of one-off sight gags, like the “Flowers By Irene” truck sitting outside the house. Probably one of the best episodes of the show ever.
– Homer Defined. The true beginning of the sidebar sight gags, as Homer saves the nuclear plant by playing “Eenie Meenie Minie Moe” and there’s a running joke with his picture in the dictionary and various definitions beside it. That kind of humor wasn’t really seen anywhere in 1991 and it’s interesting how something that became so ingrained in other mature cartoon shows began with the Simpsons. Anyway, Homer becomes a hero, but it’s only a matter of time before his fraud is exposed, and when the same accident occurs at another plant and he’s called upon to fix things again, that’s the moment. Meanwhile, Milhouse’s mom doesn’t want Bart playing with him anymore. The main storyline is a lot better than the Bart one here, and it also foreshadows an increasing reliance on Homer rather than the other family members. Most quotable line: “Look, I get enough admiration and respect at work! I don’t need it here at home!”
– Like Father, Like Clown. There was a lot of father-son relationship stuff going on this season. In this case, Bart & Lisa become determined to reunite Krusty the Clown with his rabbi father after learning of Krusty’s Jewish heritage over dinner. Unfortunately papa still resents his son becoming an entertainer instead of a rabbi, and refuses to speak to him. That only encourages Bart to try a better disguise, however. More classic stuff, especially Jackie Mason’s guest appearance as Rabbi Krustovsky, for which he won an Emmy. Most quotable line: Out of many, my favorite remains Krusty’s “Fifty million Frenchmen can’t be wrong!” when asked if he thinks he’s funny.
Disc Two
– Treehouse of Horror II. Yeah, back when the Halloween episodes DIDN’T suck. Back when they still had interconnecting plot devices for the stories, too. In this case, the kids have nightmares after eating too much candy, leading to tales of Homer finding a cursed monkey’s paw that always seems to bring a little irony with the wishes it grants; Bart gaining omnipotence and terrorizing the townspeople as a result; and Homer getting kidnapped by Mr. Burns and being transplanted into a giant robot. Nothing like a giant robot for Halloween thrills. Most quotable line: “Look at me! I’m Davey Crockett!”
– Lisa’s Pony. One of the minor character points about Lisa is finally paid off, as Homer fails to deliver a needed reed for her saxophone on time and faces her wrath. I crack up uncontrollably every time when Homer decides that 6:55 gives him plenty of time to stop in for a drink before the music store closes at 7:00, for some reason. Anyway, to go for the quick fix, he tries everything from ice cream to tea parties before opting to buy a pony instead. While it works in the short-term, soon he’s working at the Kwik-E-Mart to supplement his income, with results of what you’d expect. Not the funniest episode of the season, but one of the sweetest. Also, Homer’s dreamland sequence earns the award for most obscure visual reference of the season. Most quotable line: “You’re hired. Oh, how I dreamed the day would come when one of you would be working for me.” Honorable mention to Mr. Burns’ discussion with Homer on usury laws.
– Saturdays of Thunder. Another Homer parenting episode sees Bart enrolling in the high-stakes world of soap-box derby racing, just like his hero Ronnie Beck. Homer, however, feels left out, and soon a test in a magazine declares him a bad father and he’s being hauled off to the Fatherhood Institute for reprogramming. After nerdy Martin Prince’s car is totaled in a scene out of Death Race 2000, Bart is given the task of defending the honor of the bullied, leaving Homer conflicted and sulking as only he can. A bunch of the stuff in here is pretty dated (Cosby jokes, anyone?) and this is one of the eps that doesn’t hold up as well on its own. However, that being said, it does have the distinction of producing the most brutally honest buddy-movie spoof ever seen, in the form of the McBain video Homer watches at the beginning. Most quotable line: “Quoth the raven, what a shine’!” from the always-dependable Troy McClure.
– Flaming Moe’s. And here’s where the show finally crosses the line from sweet, irreverent family comedy into true brilliance and pop-culture satire. While escaping to Moe’s Tavern for a drink, Homer and Moe make the horrifying discovery that the beer taps are empty! Thinking quickly (in itself a rarity), Homer relates the story of a mysterious drink he created from odds and sods and cough syrup. Moe soon finds business booming and Aerosmith playing every night, but Homer is shut out of the proceedings as things turn into a Cheers spoof. And of course, Homer screws everything up out of spite and stupidity. This episode is not only incredibly funny, but contains some of the all-time Simpsons one-liners (like Bart’s botched prank call, Moe’s shock at gin and tonic mixing, “FIRE MADE IT GOOD” and numerous others) and the greatest bit of dialogue ever written in the Simpsons, in my opinion. Most quotable line: “Oh, look at me! I’m making people happy! I’m the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.” Sadly, in most syndicated versions, Marge’s “Well, DUH.” reply is snipped out, but that’s why the DVD RULES. Get all this.
– Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk. Speaking of brilliance, this is another one of those shows that I don’t think was fully appreciated as one of the highpoints of the series until much later. Bored of his millions, Burns plants rumors of selling the plant to the Germans, causing Homer’s stock to skyrocket from nothing to slightly more than nothing. He dumps it all for a case of beer (“Buy low, sell high, that’s my motto”) before the actual sale drives the price of the stock into the thousands and allows everyone else at the plant to get rich. However, Burns finds that ruling the town with an iron fist isn’t possible without his plant, and the Germans find that running a nuclear power plant isn’t as easy as buying the Cleveland Browns. A suitable compromise is soon reached, but not before Burns steals the quote championship for this episode. Most quotable line: “Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I’m so scared! Oooh, the Germans! Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!” Their reply, “Ve Germans are not all sunshine und chocolate” is a close second, however.
– I Married Marge. Back to the 80s we go for another flashback episode, as we recall the days when a young Homer and Marge eloped to the Shotgun Wedding Chapel in Vegas and tied the knot, barely beating Bart’s birth out. The 80s episodes are usually a goldmine of comedy, but this one was more of a sweeter episode about young love and overcoming an annoying family. It’s also very funny (“Bart, Cart, Dart, Eart… Nope, can’t see any problem with that!”) and a nice compliment to “The Way We Was”. The saga of the young Simpsons would continue in later eps. Most quotable line: “Wow, what an ending! Who would have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father!”, as Homer uses his towering intellect again.
Disc Three
– Radio Bart. Another famous one has well-meaning Homer buying Bart a radio mike for his birthday, and the Sisters of Evil buying him a labeling gun. You wouldn’t think those plot points would intersect, but when Bart drops a radio down a well with his name stamped onto it and pretends to be trapped infant Timmy O’Toole, they do. As the B-level celebrities of Springfield assemble for a hilarious parody of Bob Geldof charity songs, Bart realizes that there’s incriminating evidence down the hole, but when he goes to retrieve it and gets stuck, the town discovers his hoax and is less-than-sympathetic for the second time he cries wolf. In the end, only the digging prowess of Sting (the singer, not the wrestler) can rescue Bart. Awesome stuff from start to finish, covering the gamut of fashionable causes. Most quotable line: “The Lincoln Squirrel has been assassinated!” Lincoln, according to the commentaries, is ALWAYS funny for some reason.
– Lisa the Greek. Remember the days when someone OTHER than Homer would have eps devoted to them? Anyway, Homer once again tries to bond with Lisa, as they watch football together and he discovers that she has a freakish (and yet naïve) talent for picking every winner with 100% accuracy. However, while Homer & Lisa are enjoying the fruits of casual sports betting, Bart is forced to endure the universal trauma for young boys everywhere — shopping for clothes with his mother. However, all is not ideal with Homer & Lisa, as it appears to Lisa that their daughter-daddy bonding will only last as long as football season. Again, great stuff. Most quotable line: “When you’re right 52% of the time, you’re wrong 48% of the time!”
– Homer Alone. In what always seemed to me to be an inevitability, Marge finally has enough of Homer and the family and snaps while driving on the freeway, resulting in her arrest and humiliation at the hands of the police. So a vacation at Rancho Relaxo is prescribed for her, leaving Homer to run the family end of things while Lisa & Bart are banished to Patty & Selma’s apartment. Misery results all around, as Maggie goes missing and Bart discovers that blackhead guns are NOT a toy. The hot streak continues. Most quotable line: “You think you know fear? Well, I’ve seen ’em naked!”, as Lisa freaks out Bart while they discuss Patty & Selma.
– Bart the Lover. This is another one I love for whatever reason. The pathetic love life of Mrs. Krabappel is established, and so Bart sets about scamming her via her personal ad, first as a cruel joke, but soon discovers that Edna is falling in love with his fictional creation, Woodrow (played by a picture of Gordie Howe). And once she’s on the hook, the whole family has to pitch in and let her down gently. And there’s also a throwaway subplot about Homer trying to cut down on swearing that’s almost as funny, especially the payoff scene with him trying to build a doghouse. Most quotable line: No contest here: “Three simple words — I am gay”. Honorable mention to Homer’s other suggestion for a gentle let-down: “Dear Baby. Welcome to Dumpsville, population — you.” I wouldn’t suggest trying either of those, by the way.
– Homer At The Bat. Man, what do you even need to say about this one? Burns decides he wants to win a softball game against a rival nuclear plant, so he hires a few ringers. Nine of them, to be exact: Wade Boggs, Jose Canseco, Roger Clemens, Ken Griffey, Jr., Don Mattingly, Steve Sax, Mike Scioscia, Ozzie Smith, and Darryl Strawberry. Now, for those of you young’uns out there, those are BASEBALL PLAYERS and famous ones at that. It was also before the careers of Strawberry and Canseco totally fell apart and some of the others retired. And in pure Simpsons form, 8 of them develop unique problems that prevent them from playing in the game, leaving only Strawberry between Homer and glory. Off-the-wall humor and funny lines abound here, but I’ve gotta pick one, so let’s go with Burns demonstrating his managerial skill — Most quotable line: “You there, Strawberry, hit a home run!”
– Separate Vocations. Another all-time favorite of mine pitches a funny question — what if Bart & Lisa switched personalities? In this case, a standardized aptitude test appears to doom Lisa to life as a homemaker and Bart to life as a cop. What’s more, they both appear to be enjoying their new roles, as Lisa starts hanging out in the “bad girls’ bathroom” and annoying Skinner, while Bart turns the school into a police state and creates a fascist hall monitor regime with himself as the dictator. In the end, Bart does the right thing to restore the status quo, however. Darn. Most quotable line: Literally too many to choose from, but some of my favorites are “I got my first taste of authority, man and I LIKED IT!”, “Okay, boys, that belly ain’t getting any pinker” and “Sure we have order BUT AT WHAT PRICE?” Take your pick, they’re all great in this one, from the 70s cop show references to Skinner’s first Nam flashback. Repeated often in syndication, and for good reason.
Disc Four
– Dog of Death. As lottery fever grips the town (and it wouldn’t be the last time the entire town got caught up in mass hysteria over something), a different kind of fever appears to be gripping the dog — twisted stomach fever! Okay, I made that up. The Simpsons not only don’t win the lottery, but have to pay for an expensive operation to keep Santa’s Little Helper alive, leaving them once again stretching the budget for every last penny. Feeling unwanted, the dog runs away and joins up with Mr. Burns’ pack of hounds, but love saves the day in the end. Awww. Not a favorite of mine, but it’s a good, normal episode. Most quotable line: “We’ll get a new dog! One with an untwistable stomach!”
– Colonel Homer. This is actually one of my least favorite of the season, and one I could never get into. Homer gets yelled at by Marge while at the movies for being an idiot, and drives off to a country bar in the middle of nowhere, where he discovers unknown Lurleen Lumpkin and decides to become her manager. And while Lurleen rises up the charts, she appears to want more than managerial advice from Homer. It’s like that Celine Dion thing, except without the pedophilic undertones. Most quotable line: “Country music sucks. All it does is take precious air space away from shock DJ’s, whose cruelty and profanity amuse us all.” Leave it to Bart to be the voice of reason.
– Black Widower. This was, in the words of the writers on the commentary, their attempt to win a mystery writers’ association award, and it’s also a damn good episode that admittedly loses something once you know the trick. You probably know the plot by now: Bart’s nemesis Sideshow Bob is released from prison for the first time (remember when it was just his FIRST release from prison?) and immediately wins the heart of Selma. Or Patty. I can never tell them apart. Anyway, rather obvious hints are dropped throughout the story, and only Bart is paranoid enough to figure out that Bob is going to kill his blushing bride while they’re on honeymoon. Bob v. Bart is a winner every time. Well, mostly. Most quotable line: “Bob, you tried to kill me. I want a separation.”
– The Otto Show. Easily the worst of the season, with a meandering storyline and no real funny moments. After a visit to a Spinal Tap concert, Bart decides he wants to be a guitar player, which somehow connects to Otto getting fired as bus driver. In the first “minor character moves in with the Simpsons” plot, Otto then (you guessed it) moves in with the Simpsons, while Skinner drives the bus. And that’s about it. Most quotable line: “But if you need proof of my identity, I wrote my name on my underwear. Oh, wait, these aren’t mine!”
– Bart’s Friend Falls in Love. Although the two stories here kinda suck (one about Milhouse falling in love with a new student named Samantha in a move totally out of character for him, and another about Homer getting the wrong subliminal tapes in a gag stolen by Friends years later), this one DOES feature Bart’s class learning about sex via “Fuzzy Bunny’s Guide to You-Know-What”, and that’s enough for me. Most quotable line: “She’s faking it”. Nuff said.
– Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?. A meandering story saved by Danny DeVito’s performance as Uncky Herb closes out the third season, as Homer’s estranged brother crawls out of the gutter just as Homer wins the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. That award brings with it a cheque for $2000, which is just what Herb needs to field-test his newest innovation the Baby Translator. Soon, he’s rich again, and Homer has a vibrating chair which is sadly never seen again. And all is forgiven. But mostly the chair was the important part. Most quotable line: “This show is the biggest farce I’ve ever seen!” “What about the Emmys?” “I stand corrected.”
Overall, a truly powerhouse season of yellow-skinned, overbite comedy, and things would only get more wildly divergent in later seasons, with the funny getting funnier and the shitty getting shittier within the confines of the season. Not that we’ll ever see Season 4 within our lifetime on DVD anyway, but sometimes it’s fun to dream. For now, check out Our Favorite Family when they were hitting their stride as a comedy series, long before the repetition and Adventures of Captain Wacky (aka Homer) took over the show for good.
The Video:
Hey, it looks good for a cartoon from 1992, that’s for sure. The yellows are bright yellow and there’s only a few problems with general muck on the prints, but this was before the show went digital anyway, so suffice it to say it looks 500 times better than the washed-out colors you’re getting in syndication and leave it at that. Oddly enough, the MENUS are 16×9 widescreen, which made me wish that WEGAs had automatic switching between the two modes. The show itself is of course in regular 4:3 full frame.
The Audio
Season three was the first one to feature the shows in Dolby Surround, but it’s still basically a glorified stereo mix, even in 5.1 as it is here. It’s a friggin’ sitcom, you don’t need the surrounds anyway. The musical numbers sound really nice, though.
The Extras
Okay, this is the one that annoys me, because we waited a YEAR for this thing, and it’s basically the same stuff that was on the other two sets, except with shittier submenus. The main menus, with the rotating couch gags, are nice, but merely functional. You get commentaries from the peanut gallery on every episode, although to be honest there’s SO MANY people talking that it becomes impossible to pay attention to any one person. The voice actors do some commentary duty as well for the first time, and basically just answer questions, or as with Nancy Cartwright, act as moderator. There’s still tons of fascinating information, as they basically spill their guts about any topic they feel like ranging from flaky guest stars to meddling from the network.
Now then, there’s also 3 bonus commentaries (that I’ve found) on “Stark Raving Dad”, “Lisa’s Pony” and “Separate Vocations” featuring Richard Weiss on the first two and Al Jean on the third one. They’re alone on these commentaries and not terribly exciting, although a nice change of pace. You can select them with the audio button, and choose the fifth audio track.
As for the advertised extras, you get a pop-up track on “Colonel Homer” which is cute but I hate the episode so it didn’t do anything for me. You get extra foreign language tracks on “Treehouse of Horror II” so you can make fun of the Eastern European versions of the show. You get the Butterfinger commercials from the early days as a bonus on the first disc, Bart’s Thanksgiving parade appearance on the second disc, the Simpsons Jukebox on the fourth disc, interactive storyboards and sketches for selected shows all over the place and a bunch of Easter Eggs.
Now, I normally don’t mind a challenge, but these eggs (one of which is supposedly the alternate studio outtakes ADVERTISED ON THE BOX) are the most f*cking difficult I’ve ever tried to find. Tenacity is one thing, but when you have to searching the internet just to find how to access what are supposed to be features you’re paying for, then that’s a problem. And guess what? Nobody can quite figure out where the hell all this stuff is or how to access it. I’ve heard that putting one of the discs in and typing in the dollar amount from the cash register that opens the show will unlock something, but isn’t this taking freeze-frame fanaticism a LITTLE too far? Just put the damn features in the menus, I’ve waited long enough for this set already.
The Ratings
The Film: *****
The Video: ***1/2
The Audio: ***
The Extras: **1/2 (more if I could find the rest of the damn things)
