Let’s do this.
Obligatory Opening Paragraph About Football
This is the right and privilege of every 411 writer it seems and I will not let mine go to waste. My cable was restored in time for Thursday’s opening night game and my ‘Skins gave me hope for the new season. At least for one week. Of course, since football has always upheld the concept of karma, I got to watch my alma mater flounder without their star qb just like a Jets fan on Thursday. If Schaub isn’t back soon, Virginia is just about a done deal in an increasingly competitive ACC. Even Wake Forest looks dangerous now.
Readers’ Picks I: Thanks For Pointing This Out
Dino Zucconi, also making his return to 411’s starting line-up, checks in with a Goldberg little thing from last week’s RAW:
Since that stutter start, he’s done everything right. EVERYTHING. His spear looks great. His JackHammer even has some Sportz Entertainment (TM) thrown in, as he usually does it one-armed (there’s a Little Thing for you, Haley), before spiking the guy to the mat.
I will agree, too, with the sentiment that the booking of Goldberg has been very good as of late. Goldberg has been stymied in his pursuit of HHH, but with obstacles that still preserve the perception that he is an unstoppable beast. Afterall, it has taken 3 men, devious plots from the co-GM and plenty of foreign objects to keep him at bay. The devil must also be given his due in this case – HHH is showing flashes of personality in this feud that he has not shown as convincingly before. His promos claiming that Goldberg is all hype, his backstage scheming and, most importantly, his desperate unscripted promos during the beatdowns has created a very good build-up to their match at Unforgiven. I’ll write a little more on this below.
Readers’ Picks II: Strapped In
The last thing I covered was SummerSlam, so I thought I’d dedicate this week’s readers’ pick to that show. Besides, the readers caught something that I not only missed, but appreciated immensely. Tad Dixon, was first on the call so he gets the honors:
I’m not sure if you would consider this a “little thing” since it wasn’t exactly subtle, but did you or anyone else notice how Kurt Angle put his straps back ON just so he could pull them down again when readying to put Lesnar in the Ankle Lock for a second time? Me and the guy sitting next to me at the local watering hole just about laughed ourselves off of our barstools. That is why Kurt RULES: an awesome technical wrestler who continuously pays attention to his character.
This speaks for itself. Enjoy Kurt Angle while he is here, because he is a true great. I know I’m taking every opportunity I can to write about him despite my RAW-based forum.
Now let’s try something new, as promised.
Hall Of Fame
One of the best things about taking a “little things†approach to watching wrestling is that some of your favorite performers may not be the ones that everyone else enjoys. I know a lot of you have written me with a few nuggets here and there about some obscure wrestlers that you like, so here is the deal: you give me 5 specific little things about a wrestler, be they moments, catchphrases, body gestures, articles of clothing or whatever, and I’ll give you your own section in the column for the week to replace the readers’ pick. The writing has to be good and the observations must be keen and specific, though. No slacking off in my column! Wrestlers can be current or from the past, but I’d prefer it to be somewhat obscure as most of us like the same things about the more popular wrestlers. For an example, I’ll start this new feature with one of my all-time favorites, Scott Hall:
1) The look on his face after he found himself diapered at the hands of the 1-2-3 Kid. Like he had just awakened from a bad dream only to find that it was reality. The resulting tantrum was also high-quality and very memorable.
2) Frankengoof. His feud with the Giant while a member of the New World Order wasn’t very remarkable, but did produce another moment of Mr. Hall’s trademark wit. Known to execute a chokeslam of his own during matches, Hall began to jump up and walk around in a Frankenstein-esque motion with his arms extended and this goofy look on his face after executing the move. I never got tired of this.
3) Paintbrushing. Another hallmark of his cocky, underhanded n.W.o. character. To begin matches, Hall often would twist the arm of his opponent all the way back and slap the back of his head back and forth with an open palm. Pretty degrading and pretty funny on top of that.
4) The Survey. An excellent example of utilizing catchphrases and crowd interaction, which seems to have been lost in today’s product somehow. Before many matches, Hall would informally ask the audience if they were there to see WCW (often said in a sloppy, mumbled fashion) or n.W.o. wrestlers. No matter how the audience responded (and it varied), you could be sure that Hall would score it as “one more for the good guysâ€Â.
5) The Arms. Whether just after hulking up before his matches or signaling for his trademark finisher, Hall had a habit of extending his arms and raising an eyebrow or two. As we have discussed in this column, the true greats have a way of making a gesture that suggests their finisher is coming and the match is about to be over.
See, just like that and I didn’t even have to mention either of his ladder matches with Shawn Michaels.
Of course, we still have the Little Five as a regular feature. Here is the rundown for the 09.09.03 edition of RAW:
1. Christian Conversion
Talk about stepping up one’s character. Christian has added a very entertaining catchphrase to his repetroire and his Peep Show idea that he presented to his Peepulation was so hilarious that I wished they had followed up with it. In actuality, this would be a good idea since Jericho hardly needs a talk show to demonstrate his mic skills and get himself over. He would be better suited for a main event push, but that idea is one of those that makes too much sense to work, I think.
Still a big fan of that point when he appears on the entrance ramp, too, especially since everyone boos him when he comes out.
2. Underhanded Tricks
I am a big fan of these impromptu moments of humor we receive from time to time. They have a house show feel, but the concept that is important is that sometimes the wrestlers might actually be more entertaining than what a writer can script. If you ask some of the staff, you’ll find that this is almost a certainty. Last night, I’m pretty sure Jericho meant to catch those beers, but didn’t. Realizing how bad this looked, he froze and gave Austin a perfect chance for some humor at his expense. The underhanded tosses and distance from which he tossed were absolutely priceless and the crowd loved it.
I actually smiled. And I’m not afraid to admit that.
3. Screw Job
Perhaps the most consistent performer of the year, Bischoff was impressive last night, especially in deriding the team of JR and Lawler. Saying that the end of the era of slobberknockers and puppies was over made this columnist mark out and that little wave he added as he left the entrance ramp was icing on the cake. His statement to Shane that he had been screwed was also very convincing as well.
4. The Precious
As mentioned above, HHH is doing a good job of making us care about his match with Goldberg. His argument that Goldberg is all hype has both enough logic and enough bullshit behind it to make us believe that HHH’s character would come up with it. Furthermore, his repeated assertion that the belt is “MIIIIIIIINE†is convincing. Nice touch to make sure that the belt is in his bloody face each time as well while his chronies hold him up.
Extra credit for the raising of the eyebrows as he walked away from Bischoff after making a veiled threat to him regarding the choice of surprise tag team partners in the main event.
5. Let’s All Join Hands
I still think it is funny when Rico hold the ref’s hand and skips around the ring. I don’t care if he sucks and isn’t connecting with the crowd. How do you like that?
Keep the suggestions coming and I will see you next week.
