The News Release: 9.9.03

Yes, to answer your question, I do still do a music column.

Yes, to answer your other question, it has been awhile.

Why? Well, basically Tuesdays have been tough for me for the last couple of months, since my bowling night got shifted to Monday. But now it’s back to Sunday and since I should always be home for Monday Night Football for the next four months, I should be able to check in normally.

And what better day to start back?

They Went and Done It

As Yahoo News put it The Empire has struck back.

As they had promised, the Recording Industry Association of America has filed 261 civil lawsuits in what they refer to as “the first wave in what could ultimately be thousands of civil lawsuits.”

So, much like any other flagging organizations, they are trying to make money by any means necessary, rather than get at the root of the problem. That being outdated delivery methods and the fact they haven’t broken an original act since the ninties.

But, keep in mind, the MafRIAA isn’t without heart. As a matter of fact, they have offered up an amnesty plan, where all you have to do is sign a notarized affidavit admitting to illegally pirating music and promising never to do it again, and they promise not to sue you. All you have to do is destroy any pirated music you currently own and never ever download any music again.

So, of course, I have to ask my lawyer buddy about this. And according to him, if they sign a legal document/agreement with you, they are bound by the agreement. They will not sue you.

HOWEVER, the MafRiaa is careful to point out that ONLY THEY will not sue you. They cannot speak for any other copyright holders. So, technically, the band in question is free and clear to file whatever civil suit they want against you.

The OTHER, and possibly more damning part, is the affidavit does nothing against any criminal charges that the US Government can file against you for breaking the DMCA or any other piracy laws. Since, basically, you are signing a confession stating you engaged in illegal activities, you have no recourse if the government decides they’re going to start going after illegal downloaders.

So, before you go requesting amnesty, keep that tidbit in mind. Don’t go signing a confession unless you’re really confident in your lawyer’s ability to get around a signed confession.

As for me, I got one of those Kazaa “You are engaging in illegal activity” notices on Kazaa the other night. I responded by downloading as many Foo Fighters songs as I could get my hands on and Dave Matthews’s Before These Crowded Streets, by far my favorite DMB Album. It made for a good CDs.

With the Bad News Comes some Good

With sales slumping, Universal is taking the plunge and reducing the wholesale prices of it’s catalog by 25 to 50 percent across the board.

Universal music represents approximately one-third of all the new music released in the United States and includes Shania Twain, Eminem, Dre, and Limp Bizkit.

When the plan goes into affect, the highest Universal CDs should sell for about $12.98, while most of the catalogs should be priced around the $9.99 mark. This is, shockingly, because industry research has shown most people are willing to buy a CD once the price drops to the $13 mark. This is what we refer to in “the real world” as a Threshhold Price. Anyone with a semester in Microeconomics knows this. The price at which people start looking for alternatives. IE: Free downloading, no taxes, etc.

On one hand, this is great news, on the other hand, it’s bad news… because I’ll buy almost any CD for $10. It could very well break me.

I would congratulate the Recording Industry on figuring this out, but I’ve been mentioning it for about a year now, and they’re just catching up… so I still say “f*ck them.”

The catch will be to see if the rest of the BIG 5 do this. One would think they’d have to as the holiday season kicks into high gear. Which CD you gonna buy? The one for $20 or the one for $10? Yeah, I thought so.

Security Guard = Free Cock Rub

A Minnesota Jury has cleared Marilyn Manson in a civil lawsuit filed by a security guard, David Diaz, who was the victim of genital rubbing by Manson at a concert in 2000. Diaz responded after the concert by suing Manson for around $75,000 for “enduring ridicule and shame” after having Manson’s Junk rubbed on his back during the show.

The jury deliberated for two days, but eventually cleared Manson of any wrong-doing. According to E Online, a video of the concert showed Diaz smiling during the event and giving Manson a high five afterward.

No word on how much booty he got from dirty goth chicks after saying “Marilyn’s soldier was on my shoulder.”

Manson made the news most recently by being barred from the Darien Lake Ampitheater near Buffalo, NY. Likely not a huge surprise since the venue is both inside a, and owned by, Six Flags. The oddest part of that situation is the fact that Ozzfest was even scheduled to be there.

Of course, thinking about it, I think Six Flags is about the best place in the world to have an festival show. When you get bored, at least you can go on a ride or something… assuming the venue allows re-entry between the park and the concert.

Are You Ready for some Football?

So, the Giants looked pretty decent against the Rams this week, which makes me a happy camper at least until next Sunday. But that’s not the point… nor is the point to make fun of PK, who got OWNED IN THE FIRST WEEK OF 411’S FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE.

No, instead, I’m just going to give a heads up to the NFL. You don’t need to hit every genre in your kickoff special. You probably could have safely cut Mary J Blige and Britney and very few people would have noticed… especially since Britz didn’t even come close to actually, you know, SINGING her songs. If you’re going to pimp a live performance, at least try to make it Live.

But, again, props to the NFL for trying to get everyone involved, including people who don’t normally watch football. And also props to them for trying to get the “Kickoff Special” up there in popularity with the Super Bowl. Give them three years… they’ll be selling ad space for five million a second.

Metallica Doing European Tour

Metallica is heading across the pond for a tour. Dates are as follows:

Dec. 05 – Hannover, GER @ Preussag Arena
Dec. 06 – Arnhem, NETH @ Gelredome
Dec. 08 – Zurich, SWI @ Hallenstadion
Dec. 09 – Paris, FRA @ Palais Omnisports de Bercy
Dec. 11 – Bologna, ITA @ Palamalaguti
Dec. 13 – Erfurt, GER @ Messehalle
Dec. 14 – Mannheim, GER @ Maimarkthalle
Dec. 16 РK̦ln, GER @ K̦lnarena

Before that, however, is a South American tour. Do people in South America have computers? If so, here are the dates:

Oct. 25 – Buenos Aires, ARG @ River Plate Stadium
Oct. 28 – Santiago, CHL @ Pista Atletica
Oct. 30 – Rio De Janeiro, BRA @ ATL Hall
Nov. 01 – Sao Paulo, BRA @ Pacaembu Stadium
Nov. 06 – Tokyo, JPN @ Yoyogi Taiikukan
Nov. 07 – Tokyo, JPN @ Yoyogi Taiikukan
Nov. 09 – Sapporo, JPN @Sapporo Ice Arena
Nov. 11 – Saitama, JPN @ Saitama Super Arena
Nov. 13 – Osaka, JPN @ Castle-Jo Hall
Nov. 14 – Nagoya, JPN @ Rainbow Hall
Jan. 19 – Brisbane, AUS @ Brisbane Entertainment Centre
Jan. 21 – Sydney, AUS @ Sydney Ent’ment Centre
Jan. 28 – Melbourne, AUS @ Sydney Myer Music Bowl

No word on whether or not they took my suggestion and named it the “You Can Keep Them” Tour.

Improper Naming

The name of This Band is Fu-Manchu.

Not one of them have a Fu-Manchu, or facial hair of any kind. Somewhere, there is a band of four gentlemen with PHAT Moustaches looking for a name… and here it is, wasted.

Never listen to them. Write them and demand their name be revoked.

Those Angry Rockers

Rapper diss tracks get so much press, I feel I should switch it up a bit and let you know about one of the few metal diss tracks out there.

Morgan Rose, the Drummer from Sevendust, has admitted to MTV.com that the band’s current single (which I’ll wager my left testicle has not seen the light of day on MTV) is based on Dez Fafara (ex. Coal Chamber). Conveniently, Rose’s current wife is the ex-bassist of Coal Chamber, Rayna Foss. Coincidence? Nah, probably not.

Dropping Tomorrow

Dave Matthews Jr, otherwise known as John Mayer gives us “The Heavier Things.” I won’t be reviewing it, but I will be sure to refer to him as “Dave Matthews Jr” as often as possible. I suggest you do, too. Word on the street is that he loves it.

Seal gives us Seal IV. Ever need to get laid in a hurry? Throw on a Seal Album. It doesn’t matter which one. Or Pulse… Pulse is good and long.

ZZ Top Mescalero. I had no idea ZZ Top was still making albums.

Sir Mixalot. Yep, His Honor is dropping his sixth album right up in yo grill. To Quash the rumors, no it isn’t called “Baby Got Mo Back.”

In Other Reading

For everyone who’s E-mailed me in the last FOREVER asking for a writing gig on 411, NOW’S YOU’RE CHANCE. Now stop emailing me about it.

Everything on the main page is either written by Cameron or Evocator. Just click out there and read everything.

In Conclusion

Raw sucks and The freaking Monday Night Football game is 3-0 at the half. Talk about your shitty Mondays.

Regardless, I’m out for the week. I’ve been so far removed from the section, I don’t even know if Cocozza is still the Wednesday guy. I’m going to assume he is… and then Evocator on Thursday.

Till Saturday.