You know, I think Grutman waits until I sit down to write this column to IM me for Grut Vs Daniels. Or, he waits until I go on vacation and IMs my away message.
Regardless, I’m back again, making it a record two weeks straight.
Is that a good thing? We’ll find out.
Went to Montreal this past weekend. I have to tell you Canadians, I love your city. It’s clean, decent, the Subway is nice, and you can find anything to do there that you want. My only problem, I like to drink beer… and the beer in Canada kicks my ass sideways. You guys must get SO bored when you come down here to drink. It must cost you like $50 just to catch a decent buzz.
I got to visit Rue de St Laurent, which I have to admit I like sooooooo much more than Rue de St. Catherine. Things are a little bit cheaper and the crowd is a little younger. The lack of strip clubs means there is, actually, MORE attainable ass around and, I gotta tell you, you ain’t lived until you’ve flirted in French.
Brit and Madonna
Madonna will be appearing on the new Brittney Spears CD entitled Get in the Zone due out 11/18 on Jive Records. The pair decided to do the collaboration during the MTV VMA’s. The single is called Me Against the Music, because, you know, using singular verbs is always HOT in a collaboration.
Oy, he’s busting out grammar jokes… it’s going to be a long few pages.
Metallica still a draw?
Metallica’s Summer Sanitarium tour was one of the top grossing tours of the summer and the only OTHER stadium tour not counting Mr Springsteen’s little diddy that sold out Madison Square Garden for like 50 dates in a row. The tour grossed $46 million and drew nearly 700,000 people.
However, my problem with this number is the people they toured with. Linkin Park is huge right now and, god help me, a lot of people still like Limp Bizkit, even after the awfulness that was Chocolate Starfish.
If you’re going to give credit to Metallica for the tour, you should at least MENTION that they were touring with one of the hottest bands in the country right now, along with a band that was touring stadiums two years ago with Family Values. Deftones have their little clique of serious fans, too… and they had a HOT radio single which lasted most of the summer. It’s not like these guys were all supporting bands who didn’t really have a following and were straight up openers, like Mudvayne basically was for this tour.
The OTHER problem is: they’re comparing this show to both the other “festival†tours this summer, that being Ozzfest and Lollapalooza. Now, neither of those shows are a fair comparison either. Lollapalooza had a seriously shitty headliner… Jane’s Who? Perry Farrel should have swallowed the pride and moved himself out of that slot to make room for someone that people cared about.
As for Ozzfest, did Ozzy even tour with it this year? For some reason, I think he didn’t… and, like it or not, Ozzy’s metal credibility is taking a hit with the nonsensical pushing he’s giving his daughter. If he wants to help her out, fine, but he doesn’t need to like, be in songs with her and try to get her contracts through himself. It’s pointless.
Dropping Today
Kind of a big day I guess.
The delayed and finally read new Limp Bizkit Album Results May Vary is probably the most anticipated release. This one is supposedly going to be very pleasing to old fans. And, as I say soon, the thing that would piss me off worst is loving this album… and since Fred never fails to piss me off lately, I’m sure this album is going to be great. Fuck me.
Dave Matthews Some Devil. I tried to download Gravedigger and got all shitty versions. You f*cking assholes, you can’t even release the LEADOFF GODDAM SINGLE THAT YOU’RE GIVING AWAY FOR FREE ON THE RADIO WITHOUT FUCKING WITH IT. I hope everyone in the MafRIAA comes down with prostate cancer, even if they’re women. I want the women to grow a penis, and get prostate cancer.
Obie Trice, Eminem’s latest project, drops Cheers. Again, I’m sure we’ll hear from one Mr Cameron before the week is out. This is the disk in which there will be three Golden Tickets (a la Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory). The people who get the tickets get to meet Eminem. Great way to promote an album, and something I’m sure OTHER artists will be watching closely.
The “Is This For Real†Article of the Week
I use Blabbermouth for a lot of stuff. Now, the first thing I see when I log on today is this:
MTV: EDDIE VAN HALEN Tried Out For LIMP BIZKIT – Sep. 22, 2003
Now, this is possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read, so I go on to read the article. Word for word from Blabbermouth:
Legendary axeman Eddie Van Halen was one of 11 guitarists that auditioned for LIMP BIZKIT during their lengthy search for a replacement for Wes Borland earlier this year, according to a MTV.com news feature on the making of BIZKIT’s new album, “Results May Vary”.
Not being 100% satisfied with any of the candidates, LIMP BIZKIT frontman Fred Durst eventually called a guitarist he remembered feeling chemistry with a year earlier and asked him to come back. Mike Smith, formerly of SNOT, jammed with the band for 20 minutes before he got the invitation to join.
“He’s what we’ve been looking for,” Durst said. “We need an actual guitar player.”
“I feel like I play really well with these guys,” Smith said.
LIMP BIZKIT would later liken their guitar search to a relationship, saying they could not commit to someone else until they had completely gotten over Borland
Now, I don’t know what’s weirder… the fact that Eddie Van Halen tried out for Limp Bizkit or the fact that LIMP BIZKIT TURNED HIM DOWN.
I mentioned this to my roommate, and the following conversation ensued:
Kaisen316: do you buy this:
Kaisen316: Legendary axeman Eddie Van Halen was one of 11 guitarists that auditioned for LIMP BIZKIT during their lengthy search for a replacement for Wes Borland earlier this year, according to a MTV.com news feature on the making of BIZKIT’s new album, “Results May Vary”.
Not being 100% satisfied with any of the candidates, LIMP BIZKIT frontman Fred Durst eventually called a guitarist he remembered feeling chemistry with a year earlier and asked him to come back. Mike Smith, formerly of SNOT, jammed with the band for 20 minutes before he got the invitation to join.
“He’s what we’ve been looking for,” Durst said. “We need an actual guitar player.”
“I feel like I play really well with these guys,” Smith said.
LIMP BIZKIT would later liken their guitar search to a relationship, saying they could not commit to someone else until they had completely gotten over Borland.
Daniels’s Roommate: woah
Daniels’s Roommate: wait
Daniels’s Roommate: did that say eddie van halen auditioned
Daniels’s Roommate: first off all
Daniels’s Roommate: eddie doesn’t audition
Kaisen316: it is a reasonably reputable news site, too
Daniels’s Roommate: “hi, you know who i am”
Daniels’s Roommate: “yes, you’re hired”
Kaisen316: that’s what I would think
Kaisen316: Instead, you have Fred saying: no you’re just not right for the part.
Daniels’s Roommate: …
Daniels’s Roommate: wait a minute
Daniels’s Roommate: i’m eddie f*cking van f*cking halen
Daniels’s Roommate: and i’m not right
Daniels’s Roommate: and you’re fred durst
Daniels’s Roommate: …
Kaisen316: HELLLOOOOOOOOOOO
Kaisen316: you do realize that Fred Durst and DJ Lethal turned down Eddie Van Halen
Kaisen316: you know, if Eddie and Alex came over and said “fire Wes and that Troll drummer” I would think any band in the world would be all over it.
Kaisen316: Yeah, hi… we’re Van Halen
Daniels’s Roommate: “yeah, what was your name again?”
Kaisen316: everyone else, you’re fired.
Daniels’s Roommate: “eddie van halen”
Daniels’s Roommate: “oh…not ringing a bell”
Daniels’s Roommate: “ever been in a rap metal band?”
Daniels’s Roommate: “no, i was in van f*cking halen, though”
Kaisen316: who?
Daniels’s Roommate: “hmm, you guys did that song with run dmc, right?”
Daniels’s Roommate: “no, that was aerosmith”
Daniels’s Roommate: “oh, yeah. so you can play the guitar?”
Daniels’s Roommate: “…”
Daniels’s Roommate: “is that a no?”
Daniels’s Roommate: “i’m f*cking leaving. i can’t believe i even auditioned:
Kaisen316: I’m Eddie Van Halen, I don’t audition
Daniels’s Roommate: “ok….NEXT”
Kaisen316: And who are you?
Daniels’s Roommate: “i’m horrible:
Daniels’s Roommate: “you’re hired”
What it means to me
As a matter of fact, I’m done with the news that pissed me off so much. Stupid f*cking Durst finds a new way to piss me off week after week. It’s going to piss me off even more next week when I find out that I like the stupid new CD. I know I’m going to like it, because it’s the only thing that can piss me off more.
So, I was mulling over a new feature for this column… it’s not even one that I have to write every week, and all of you are welcome to send.
I’m going to take an easy one this week.
So Far Away – Staind
I want to get at this song before the entire country is sick of it, because it’s a very deep song, proving once again, that Aaron Lewis is possibly the most gifted songwriter working in the mainstream right now.
Staind’s fanbase is diverse. You have the headbanging types leftover from their Mudshovel days who have grown with the band, and you have the poppy fans they’ve picked up with the Top 40 success of their last few songs, namely It’s Been Awhile and Outside.
Their latest song with a message is So Far Away. Aaron has come a long way from the guy screaming about how someone would feel his Anger, his Pain, and his Torment driving him Insane. He’s got a new wife and they have recently brought a new child into the world. His past is behind him, and you can almost feel the sun shining on him through this song. Look at the two verses.
First: This is my life, it’s not what it was before… all these feelings I’ve shared. These are my dreams, that I’ve never lived before… somebody shake me cuz I, I must be sleeping
Second: These are my words, I’ve never said before: I think I’m doing Ok. This is the smile, I’ve never shown before… somebody shake me cuz I, I must be sleeping.
From the get go, this isn’t going to be another poor me song. He realizes how far he’s come… and he’s looking back on how miserable he was compared to his life now. And he knows… and the chorus furthers this
Now that we’re here, so far away… all the struggles we fought was in vain and all the mistakes, one life contains, they all finally start to go away. Now that we’re here, so far away, and I feel like I can face the day. I can’t forget and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today.
The past doesn’t matter. It shapes you… it makes you who you are, but it doesn’t bind your future.
You can hear this song… and it forces you to think over your life. And the thing it makes you think about is: the past is all in the past. No matter how successful you are and how little you think you deserve it, you really do.
For me, I think about college. I am now one year out of college. My life, by a long shot, isn’t what it was before. I mean, for the first time ever I’ve hit the dreaded “routine.†I get up, I go to work, I come home, I watch TV, I go to bed… repeat. But, I’m still happy… and even though the time in my life is over where I had such a good time, it has still contributed to where I am now. Comfortable, with my own house and my own nice car at 25. Granted, I’m in debt up to my eyeballs, but it isn’t anything I absolutely can’t afford… which is nice. I’m not like my other friends who swim with debt and struggle to make ends meet.
I hear this song, and it both makes me remember my past and gives me hope for the future. Aaron pretty much makes me realize that it’s always possible that things can end up ok. He’s come from basically nothing, and he’s happy now.
And it can still happen for me… and when it does, I’ll know it’s not a dream. I will sit someday, 20 years from now, and listen to this song… and remember.
Feel free to send your submissions to me. Click the link at the bottom. If I don’t get one, I’ll do another one for myself. No more than a page or two.
In Other Reading
Vanderhorst Is back for his second and is discussing the bastardization of punk into the mainstream. It’s the only genre they hadn’t whored yet. Why not?
Evocator… I got a list as per usual. Time Machine: Jesus Christ, Superstar, Uncorrputed Steel 2, and Blackmore Night.
Cameron with the review of DMX – Grand Champ that I promised last week.
Brian Blottie has yer Metal News.
Katz reviews one of his Favorite Bands… and does a reasonably impartial job of it.
In Conclusion
Due to the wonders of the Internet, I just scored Nickelback’s new CD about an hour before this column was finished… which means it will either be reviewed later this week or in next week’s Release. Either way, I’ll be taking care of it, whether someone else on the site does or not.
Until then.
