The SmarK DVD Rant for Family Guy – Season Three

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The SmarK DVD Rant for Family Guy �” Season Three

– Back again to finish off the run of one of the all-time underappreciated shows (although time and perspective have given it a rabid cult following and prospective movie deal), as we pick things up with volume 2, which is confusingly enough the third season of the show and the final one.

This is also kind of a bonus for me, because due to Fox’s retarded scheduling I’ve only seen four or five out of the 21 episodes comprising the final season, if that. It just got too hard to remember when it was on and what day of the week it was on. Now it’s easy �” TBS in the afternoons, and Teletoon at night.

The Film

For those new to the show, it’s basically a TV show produced by people who watch too much TV, about people who watch too much TV, for people who watch too much TV, referencing TV shows that no one watched. Or at least admitted to watching.

Covering all 21 episodes over 3 discs, this set also features the “lost” episode, “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein”.

With basically no support from the network and no audience left, the final season of the show got even MORE offensive and bizarre with every episode, kicking off with a one-two punch of bad taste that was an instant classic.

Disc One

– The Thin White Line. Right out of the gate, they come up with the funniest concept that I’m shocked no one else has ever exploited before: What if a drug-sniffing dog got hooked on drugs as a result of sniffing them all the time? That’s the kind of hard-hitting high-concept comedy you get with this one, as Brian is again feeling bummed out and takes up community service as a way to ease the ennui. But he discovers that there’s an even BETTER high than the natural kind �” the artificial kind! Soon enough he’s in rehab, and Peter decides to join him there, just to get away from it all for a week. The doctors don’t take long to figure out the source of Brian’s stress. And so, Brian decides to leave to pursue his dreams of making it in Hollywood. Brian and Joe busting up an “innocent” class of elementary school students is Family Guy at its offensive best.

– Brian Does Hollywood. After a hilarious parody of “Last week on ” recaps, Brian attempts to strike out and make it as a Hollywood screenwriter, but discovers that it’s not as easy as sucking up to Keanu Reeves at a party. However, his gay cousin returns from Club Med and hooks him up with a struggling filmmaker looking for a young and upcoming director for his new movie Shaving Private Ryan. Soon, Brian is one of the most prolific and long-lasting directors in porn history, having made 7 films over the course of his one-day career, three of which win Adult Film Awards. Oh, and Peter swallows a cell phone, while Stewie goes on “Kids Say the Darnedest Things” and dated Bill Cosby jokes result.

– Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington. The show undergoes a minor change in direction for Peter’s character, as the toy factory is bought out by a tobacco conglomerate, who immediately decide to market everything to children with the intention of getting them to smoke. The oh-so-subtle social satire here is pretty hard to catch if you’re not paying attention, no? Peter, the only one stupid enough to not immediately catch onto what’s going on, is bumped up to company president as a bribe in exchange for keeping his mouth shut, which results in Martha Stewart working as a maid for the Griffins. Boy, did THAT joke gain new layers just months later. Using a dead stripper to blackmail Al Gore and George Bush, Peter takes his fight for tobacco all the way to Congress in a truly inspirational story. Brian, meanwhile, tries to quit smoking and gets a bit cranky as a result.

– Once If By Clam, Two If By Sea. And now the British get the Family Guy treatment, as a hurricane destroys the Drunken Clam, leaving the Clam’s Head Pub in its place, and bringing a gaggle of pretentious Brits with it. One of whom moves next door and puts the moves on Lois. Seth McFarlane must REALLY hate Hugh Grant. I actually the guy, oddly enough. Anyway, one of the all-time great one-liners of the show follows, as the boys look for a new bar, and find “The Cherry Pit”, a lesbian bar. Quagmire, ever the smooth operator, makes a move on a pair of girls by asking if they’ve ever been penetrated before. Feel free to try that one out for yourselves, folks. Stewie, meanwhile, does the My Fair Lady parody with the uncouth neighbor child (with the Rex Harrison voice it was only a matter of time), resulting in a very different payoff scene than the movie.

– And The Wiener Is Yes, it’s a decidedly Family Guy twist on the father-son relationship, as Peter starts to realize that Chris is getting to the age where he can beat him in basketball and take him in a fight. Oh, and he has a freakishly huge penis, which of course causes Peter to obsess about it endlessly. Yes, it’s literally a penis envy show. Meanwhile, Meg becomes a flag girl, which is like the geek version of the cheerleading squad, and discovers that fitting in with the cool crowd isn’t necessarily as fun as it seems. This one is all meaningless because the show is stolen, game set and match, by Stewie doing an imaginary lounge lizard version of “Rocket Man”. Don’t ask.

– Death Lives. One of the ones I missed while running on Fox sees Death returning to take Peter to the afterlife after a golf game in a thunderstorm goes horribly wrong. He tries to get Peter to have a revelation about his marriage (while arguing with his mother and trying to pick up chicks), while Lois is led on a wild goose chase as part of an “anniversary scavenger hunt” by Peter. Sadly, it’s the unfunny Adam Corolla instead of Norm McDonald this time around, so the episode loses something.

– Lethal Weapons. Sick of dealing with obnoxious New Yorkers who come every fall to gawk at the leaves, Lois takes up Tae-Jitsu to learn to defend herself from them. However, soon she unleashes her inner badass, and Peter starts taking advantage of it for himself. The family goes through anger management therapy to work things out, but in true Family Guy fashion, the only solution is a bloody and violent six-way no-holds-barred brawl throughout the living room that would probably be the most shocking thing seen on any other sitcom, but is par for the course here.

– The Kiss Seen Round the World. Recurring character Neil gets his first showcase here, as he and Meg intern at the local station and share a kiss while facing certain death from a rampaging killer (only the power of HUGH DOWNS~! can save the day). However, this leads Neil to think that he’s not repulsive and disgusting, which Meg can’t abide. Meg, meanwhile, has a crush on anchor Tom Tucker (complete with a spoof of the pool scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and a SMOKIN’ surround mix of “Movin in Stereo” accompanying it), so Neil’s love of course is all for naught.

Disc Two

– Mr. Saturday Knight. Trying to move up in the company, Peter invites Mr. Weed to dinner, and promptly kills him with an inadvertent DINNER ROLL OF DEATH. Peter is thus out of a job when the plant is demolished, leaving him to pursue his one dream in life �” jouster at a Medieval Fair. Unfortunately, one thing stands between himself and destiny �” the Black Knight, played by Will Ferrell in an awesomely funny guest spot, who takes his art REALLY seriously. Good stuff.

– A Fish Out of Water. Next up on the career path for Peter is fisherman, as he buys a boat at a local police auction (after passing on a lovely picture of a boat, which I’m pretty sure pre-dates someone doing exactly the same gag for real on Ebay), but is immediately warned by the armless, legless and one-eyed Shamus (“Me father was a tree”) of a killer fish stalking the seas, who no fisherman have ever dared catch. Meanwhile, Meg and Lois hit the beaches for Spring Break, resulting in a side of Lois that isn’t often seen. This one is a little meandering with a silly payoff, but the Monty Python reference and Quagmire’s horror at realizing that Taylor Hanson is a GUY are worth the admission price here.

– Emission Impossible. Family Guy’s spoof on the usual “Let’s have another baby” cliché in sitcoms sees Stewie get more actively involved in birth control, as he creates a ship right out of Fantastic Voyage and decides to go inside Peter to kill off his sperm at the source. This one is of course PURE Stewie, as he gets into a battle to the death with the twinkle in Peter’s eye and you get the most groan-inducing Air Supply joke ever heard on network TV. One of my favorites from this season.

– To Live And Die In Dixie. And on the other end of things, a much weaker episode sees the Griffin family sent to the Deep Deep South as part of the Witness Protection Program, which draws together several weird subplots, including a socially-awkward Chris escaping from the troubles of meeting girls (and pedophile paper-route customers) by hanging out with a new friend, a really cool guy with a suspiciously high voice. Meg as the popular girl in a one-room schoolhouse is less successful, but Stewie as a soulful blues singer works better. And a running gag about Peter getting mauled by a raccoon is gold. Actually, come to think of it, this one WAS pretty funny.

– Screwed the Pooch. The tour de force of insulting big-name money sees Peter hanging out with the Peuterschmidts and ending up at a poker game with Bill Gates, Ted Turner and Lois’ dad, and bluffing Turner out of CNN as a result. Too bad AOL/Time-Warner already did the same thing. Anyway, the main plot here involves Brian meeting Arthur’s prize race-dog and being unable to control his baser instincts, resulting in the forlorn lovers going on the lam and meeting some REALLY bad cockroaches in a motel. They’ll CUT you, chico. That’s how bad they are. The payoff gag is stolen from South Park, but Brian’s custody battle is typical of how they walk the line between sweet drama and offensive comedy.

– Peter Griffin: Husband, Father Brother? Yes, what wholesome family sitcom would be complete without the lead (white) character discovering that he can trace his roots back to slaves, and thus demanding compensation from his white oppressors (Lois’ parents). Incredibly offensive shots at the Million Man March and black power in general result. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes a cheerleader, hoping to unlock the secrets of their mind-control, but develops an eating disorder. Weak and weaker.

– Ready, Willing and Disabled. Speaking of incredibly offensive to anyone with a pulse, Joe gets frustrated with his lack of action as a cop and his inability to chase down a fleeing robber, and Peter thinks that the Special People’s Games might be just the thing to get his mojo going again. It’s there that Joe meets the character intended to be a running gag as a nemesis for him, in the form of a wheelchair-bound paraplegic with ATTITUDE. In fact, that produces one of the single weirdest and funniest one-liners in the show’s run, as he smack-talks with Joe and tells him to bring his wife by for some “boom-skaka-laka-laka-laka-laka-laka” in a Stephen Hawking computerized voice. Anyway, Joe turns out to be a superstar in the making, of course, and he redeems himself in the end. This one is particularly historic, however, for revealing how the EVIL MONKEY IN THE CLOSET actually became evil (he caught his wife cheating on him).

– A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas. Basically the anti-Xmas special sees Peter accidentally giving all of the family’s presents to charity and then trying to get them back, resulting in a frantic rush to the mall on Christmas Eve to replace them. However, this proves more than Lois can handle, resulting in a nervous breakdown, while Stewie grapples with the concept of Santa Claus watching him 24 hours a day, and Peter struggles to watch Kiss Meets Santa Claus in peace. Peter’s Kiss fandom would actually set up a story later in the season. Stewie, as usual, steals the show here.

Disc Three

Welcome to death row

– Brian Wallows and Peter’s Swallows. One of the most bizarrely sweet Family Guys sees a DUI Brian assigned to community service by helping a crabby retired jingle-singer, and Peter growing a beard on a whim, only to have a swallow nesting there and leaving babies. Brian brings the house down with a musical number and it all leads up to probably the nicest, least ironic bittersweet ending the show would ever do. Just tremendous stuff showing how much potential the show had in the days leading up to the cancellation.

– From Method to Madness. Two B-plots here, as Meg dates a nudist and Stewie enrolls in acting class and becomes a brief sensation with his bitchy singing partner. The stuff with Stewie is a winner as always, especially the sly parody of old-time musicals and their plots, and the stuff with Meg is a loser as always.

– Stuck Together, Torn Apart. The show continues limping to the finish line, as Peter and Lois finally see a marriage counselor to do something about Peter’s boorish behavior, and a trial separation results. Lois gets Quagmire, while Peter mopes around his friends’ houses until he’s fixed up with Jennifer Love Hewitt? And in your ironic subplot, Stewie and Brian are stuck together by super-glue, and find they actually…enjoy being together?

– Road to Europe. Another weak plot with a few funny moments, as Peter and Lois hit the local Kiss festival, but Peter discovers to his horror that Lois isn’t really as big a fan as her Peter Criss makeup would indicate. And really, what true fan would pick Peter Criss, anyway? I’m more of a Vinnie Vincent guy myself. Anyway, turns out she was actually a groupie, thus making her much cooler in the long run. The local Kiss call-in show is the best thing here. And in your dog-and-baby subplot, Stewie becomes obsessed with a TV show that seems a lot like Teletubbies, and decides to go to England to discover their secrets for himself, resulting in Brian getting dragged along to save him. Their continually evolving relationship is the highlight of the last “normal” episode in the show’s run.

– Family Guy Viewer Mail #1. Sadly, the series quietly died on Valentine’s Day of last year not with a bang, but a thud, as Seth’s silly attempt to do a Treehouse of Horror anthology show never gets out of the comedy gates. One segment sees Peter getting three wishes and becoming an boneless blob (not funny), another sees the family gaining super-powers (also, shockingly, not funny) and the third has them as Little Rascals. Very not funny. Just a sad end to what could have been a classic guerilla comedy series. Ah, well, there’s always the rumored new series and movie coming up, but it’s never the same as the first time, is it?

Pretty much a vital addition to the library of anyone who enjoys the Simpsons and can stomach the equal-opportunity racism and offenses, the second volume of the show features shows without all the laugh-out-loud moments of the first set, but a funnier overall presentation and better characters.

The Video

As with the first set, colors are bright and clean and beautiful and everything is better than broadcast quality. It’s still a bit jagged and fuzzy at times and could have been improved with a higher bitrate, but for a cartoon it’s fine. Great looking DVDs all around.

The Audio

Not quite to the same greatness as the video. It’s Dolby Surround, but the surrounds are rarely used and it’s basically mono because it’s all talking. In short, your basic TV audio transfer.

The Extras

– The big attraction here is the inclusion of “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein”, which was the “controversial” episode that made it all the way through production before the censors pulled the plug, but it’s not really that offensive. It involves Peter’s desire for Chris to convert to Judaism to improve his financial situation, and Optimus Prime in a synagogue is about the most evil thing here. You didn’t miss much if you’ve never downloaded this one, because it’s not a very good episode.

– The other big attraction is another round of commentaries with Seth and the gang, and again they suck. Thank god they cut them down even further this time, because Seth is actually getting WORSE at doing them. Much of the commentary involves long awkward pauses while the cast watches the show and laughs, and only Seth Green really seems to have a handle on how to do one properly. Thankfully they also include a VERY clear warning about the language on them, as Seth has a potty mouth and parents might accidentally switch to the commentary track with kids watching the show. The specific episodes featuring the commentaries are: “Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington”, “Death Lives”, “Mr. Saturday Knight”, “Ready Willing and Disabled”, “Brian Wallows and Peter’s Swallows” and of course “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein”.

– You also get a rough version of the pilot episode, done in Seth’s home for cheap, with all the basic jokes and ideas there.

– Deleted scenes in the form of animatics for most of the episodes.

– 2 featurettes, “Uncensored” (a quickie one featuring Seth) and “Series Overview” (a 15-minute or so one with all the cast and some interesting behind-the-scenes stuff).

Pretty much the same stuff as the first set.

The Ratings:

The Film: *****
The Video: *****
The Audio: **
The Extras: **