Hello, knaves, I’m FLEA and it’s nice to be here with you! In case you are not privy to the “inside” of 411, Eric S. ain’t here – and won’t be here tomorrow either. That means YOU GET FLEA, at least for one for these days. Oh hell, I’ll probably do both, why not. Also on the insides of 411 is some sort of staff forum, which sounded really cool when BOSS told me about it, but it looks like it’s going to be a pissing contest for so-called “writers” at this site. “Writing” is used very loosely, as I am not the least bit ….you know, I’ll save it for the IWC 100. No sense in shooting my wad now. But as far as the “staff only” forum – why is there someone there by the name of “WIDRO FAKIN”? Of all the ridiculous gimmicks you could steal, why mine? I’m sure it’s someone I know. FLEA Advice (and this applies to all the new people too)…try to put some pride in you work. I’m reading nothing but drivel lately, so shape up, please.
“FLEA – we don’t give a shit about your opinion or your stupid list”
Cut and paste that if you want – what *I* care about is quality writing and opinions. If you want to half ass it, go somewhere else.
Speaking of half assing it, lets’ get to it…
TOP STORY
I knew the day would come and it reeks of desperation. Hulk Hogan = TNA. You know what? Go f*ck yourself, TNA. I have been hot and cold on this promotion since it’s inception – everytime they get on a roll (Hell, even NETCOP was giving out prasie and stars – and for good reason)….as I was saying, everytime they get on a roll, they screw thing up royally. And bringing in Hogan this is the ultimate FUCK YOU to anyone who pays $10 a week. They lost me with Piper and his bullshit (this was the first time Piper showed up) but managed to put on a string of shows that blew everyone else away. But lo and behold, here comes Piper again and the whole show has tanked – pretty much since the infamous “one penny” show, which, by and large, was TRASHED by the unwashed masses. As a matter of fact, I wrote about this a few months ago. Not that I’m Nostradamas or anything, but I have a good grasp on when someone is about to shovel shit my way….
This is ME!, from 8.28.03…I’ll spare you the italiacs –
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For the most part, the last several shows have been excellent, to the point where I think the program is catching on and overcoming the original stigma “Why should I pay $10 for this shitâ€Â. But every time this happens, (and this will be number 4) they manage to step on their dicks and COMPLETELY ruin things. For those of you that haven’t been watching, TNA was on quite a roll a few months ago, putting on solid matches with coherent story lines and then
Roddy Fucking Piper came out, laying the badmouth to everyone, invoking the name of Owen Hart and blaming McMahon for “ruining†wrestling. This totally took the wind out of everyone’s sails and led to several weeks of the same old “Insider shoot†bullshit that does nothing but make TNA look 2nd rate.
Currently, TNA is on a nice little roll again and, with the exception of Jarrett sticking his nose in every angle, is able to put out 2 hours of strong programming, thanks to the efforts and performances of THE WRESTLERS and not centered around Russo, Tony Schiavone and Goldylocks.
But it looks like they want to repeat history as that idiot Piper is scheduled to make his “returnâ€Â, this time even MORE full of piss and vinegar. Which he should be angry – he has spent the last 10 years disavowing Vince McMahon, then went back to work for him! I’m sure he will provide an explanation for this, but who f*cking cares? Just recently, the crowd has come alive and provided a much needed backdrop with their cheers and boos, simply because the angles and matches have been clearly defined enough to pick sides. People are screaming “old school†as the description, which it is – “shades of grey†is sooo 90’s – all that’s needed is a face to cheer for and a heel to boo! And a reason to do so that isn’t so inside that it goes over their heads.
Case in point – Raven’s awesome promo setting up the Styles match – he brought up wrestling lore (Rich/Sawyer, his history with Dreamer/Douglas) and even if you didn’t * know * those names, you could follow along and understand his point – he’s tired of f*cking around and he wants gold. Compare that to someone killing 20 minutes rehashing grudges that even * he * can’t abide by, well, that’s Piper for you.
I just hope they have a fantastic show booked to make up for it – I enjoy spending the $10, so long as I’m not jerked around by insincere assholes who use my $10 fee to make themselves feel better about their misery.
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I don’t think that’s too far off the mark. And now add Hogan to the mix…you know what will really be bullshit? – when those stupid hillbillies give that prick a 10 minute ovation – on MY $10 PPV MONEY! Which is why I will not even bother. That was the final straw as far as my support for the only other National Promotion in America. Checking the newsline, it looks as though they plan to “build” on the Jarret / Hogan angle Bash at The Beach angle that no one cared about then, and most likely will not now (excpet for Sherer – he’ll put out “shork” again!). It also means that AJ Styles is f*cked, along with Raven, AMW and the X-Division midgets…which is a shame and as I mentioned above, desperate. But they can do what they want, I’m not watching. P.S. to Hyatte – Dutch was in WWF about 10 years ago as a manager – I’m sure your “fans” will point that out…
Moving along to RAW, I didn’t watch it or tape it, which is the first time for that in as long as I can remember. Let’s see what some of the recaps say…
According to everyone, the show sucked. I hate to make that my final verdict (having not seen it) but I don’t think I could polish that turd anyway. Goldberg DIDN’T squash Henry, which is unacceptable, regardless of my feelings about GB. Another car crash angle? See, it’s times like this when “something on a pole” works better. Or even a Coal Miner’s Clove match. Insulting the fan base’s intelligence seems to be the calling card of WWE now, and coming from me, that’s something. I LOVE having my inteligence insulted, becasue, in esscense, wrestling is pretty f*cking stupid, regardless of what Meltzer tells you. But some things I enjoy, so I keep watching. I’m not sorry I missed last night’s show one bit – and I’ll most likely miss Smackdown too. So, counting TNA, that’s THREE shows off the list this week. I must be growing up. Is there a PPV this weekend? It’s No Mercy, if I remember correctly and at the moment I think the only reason I would tune in is…I don’t even have a reason to watch. Who is fighting? Is all this apathy bothering you, the reader? I feel bad not putting my normal postive spin on things, but it’s HULK HOGAN.
And Mark Henry!
Okay, I need to change from the wrestling talk, at least until tomorrow, or until I can get my head straight about all this. I would like to quicky address the debacle that is California and today’s election. The last minute deluge of Anti- Ah-Nold sentiment hit full force over the weekend, abiding by the oldest trick in the political books – fighting dirty…
See, you can say anything you want about someone, it’s up top them to DENY it! Ah-Nold has had to deny he is everything from a Nazi sympathizer to a viscious mandhandler of butt-ugly women. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not…Ah-Nold spent the entire weekend talking about it instead of the issues. And Cali has a ton of issue that need resolving. Not that I give two shits about Cali, but the way that state goes in this election will most likely determine the next President of the United States. As close as the 2000 election was, George W. will need all the help he can get – and if Ah-Nold is elected, a nice present will be the gift wrapping of electoral votes for the Republican Party. THAT’S the point of all this…not the fact that Gray Davis is incompetent or that California would be better served drifting away into the Pacific Ocean. We are talking BIG TIME POLITICS and as rotten as this whole War and shoving democracy down the world’s throat goes, I think we are all better with Bush in office than whatever opposition the Democrats will have. I’m nearly convinded that Bush WON’T win…unless Ah-Nold is elected and can deliver the Left Coast. By the time my plane lands tonight, we should have a winner. then the real shit will hit the fan. Or at least until we realize that this democracy nonsense was only meant to have a 200 year life expectancy and none of the founding fathers would have dreamed that not having royalty in this country would lead to gross adulation for celebrites and no respect at all for anyone who is dumb enough to run for public office and serve an ingrateful country that wants everything short term…meaning NOW! Which really puts wrestling is it’s proper perspective…but not to the point where I will be watching this week. The Baseball playoffs are on! Don’t call me, I’ll call you…or better yet, probably not.
On that note, I have a plane to catch and will use a 2 hour flight to wonder what I will type about tomorrow. I’ll surf around and get a feel for what’s doing – I haven’t really read too much in about a week. Be it ever so humble, there is no place like home….
FLEA
