Ever have one of those weeks?
I’m not quite sure how much longer I’ll be doing this weekend column. I may pull a Grutman and Bower and move to music or movies over the next few weeks.
Why? Pretty much the same reason that the two of them presented. Lack of interest in wrestling anymore. I have, literally, not watched a full wrestling program in more than two months. The Pay Per View this weekend will be the first full show I’ve watched in months, and I really don’t care whether I see it or not. I’m just doing it because a group of buddies like to order it and we get half price Pay Per Views because my roommate works for Time Warner Cable.
And, the small fact that no one really reads the weekend columns. Especially the Saturday one the Sunday one has the benefit of being on the main page on Monday, when people get back to work.
For fans of Grutman vs Daniels, don’t despair we are moving the gimmick to the Movies and Music Zones.
So, with that, lets take a look at the events leading up to the PPV the events that I saw anyway.
The Week in Wrestling
Raw
Jericho and Christian out to complain about Austin some more. Because, you know, it isn’t getting old or anything especially since they’re feuding with a guy who can’t even wrestle them. This complaint is somewhat unfair, though, since Jericho and Christian can make just about whatever they’re talking about more interesting but it still has the sense of being meaningless since they never seem to be willing to give either guy a solid push. Christian would have benefited from a nice, long IC title reign, but they immediately go and give it RVD which may not be a bad thing, but they never get a solid push behind RVD either.
Anyway, this Jericho and Christian segment was interrupted by Shane, who remains entertaining. He is PROUD of what he did to Kane last week, even though the limo that hits the truck didn’t have a sunroof OOPS!
I also wonder if they are going to use this excuse to put Kane’s mask back on, rather than following up with the actual interesting storyline that follows from Kane not being burned, but thinking he is which has never been mentioned again.
A car tries to run down Goldberg DRAMA!
RVD had his first (?) title defense against Scott Steiner and, of course, it’s a DQ victory for RVD via a chair. God forbid we put our Intercontinental Champion over someone. Can’t have that because Steiner is jacked and RVD isn’t. Post match, Steiner tries to chair Stacy, which brings out Austin to run down Steiner and rescue Stacy. Which leads to Steiner physically provoking Austin, which leads to a beat down of Steiner. Post beatdown, Steve tries to have a beer with Stacy, who doesn’t like beer and that earns her a Stunner.
See, now if I had any faith in the WWF writing staff, this could be the start of something an unstable Austin, since one second he’s saving Stacy and the next second he’s stunning her. But again, these angles run with Austin vs a wrestler are pointless since they eventually make the actual wrestler look terrible. But, then again, one of the few things they do right is stuff with Austin, because people still love to see Stunners and Austin still has an energy that riles the crowd and gets them crazy.
Maven vs Rico Um click.
That’s unfair, though. Both Maven and Rico are worth watching, but not during Monday Night Football.
I apparently missed Booker T’s return in favor of the MNF blowout, which kind of sucks, and I also missed a Shawn Michaels heel turn, which really sucks. We get Goldberg and Michaels set up for next week, which has to compete for my affections with Priest Holmes. Not a good sign.
Smackdown
Yeah, I can’t even pretend. With Yankees/Sox Game 7, Wrestling was the last thing on my mind.
You know, seriously The writing was fantastic for the entire Division Series and the entire Championship Series. There was Drama Laughter Tears. There was the Scrappy Underdogs vs the Elite Champions.
But could Major League Baseball put over new people for once? No, they just have to keep pushing the same tired stars that no one feels like cheering for anymore. The Cubs and the Red Sox deserved to be pushed hard and needed a good, clean win over their opponents for the future strength of the company but no, Uncle Buddy has to keep shoving the same damn people down our throats year after year. Sure, another team like the Diamondbacks get wins sometimes, but in the long run they mean nothing and are forgotten about in favor of pushing the Yankees.
And the Marlins? NO one has ever cared about the Marlins. They come on the scene and get pushed to the moon winning a World Series in Five Years that flops, then they turn around and push them to the moon AGAIN six years later. When are they going to learn that there are just certain guys that no one cares about, no matter how hard you push them?
So, instead of getting two new stars fighting for the title, we get pre-packaged Yankees (Believe the Hype) and Uncle Buddy’s pet team the Marlins.
Hmm, funny that.
411’s Official No Mercy Preview
Well, kind of the outsider’s prediction of the Smackdown Brand PPV coming your way this weekend for the low, bargain price of $35. Pfeh.
Zack Gowen vs Matt Hardy: Can we trade Matt Hardy to Raw, please? Can we use a “Smackdown wasn’t using me to my full potential. I mean, Matt Hardy, Version 1, is not a cruiserweight and will not be treated as such. I’m here to win a real title.†Ready made feud with RVD and none of this shitty nonsense that he’s been doing now. On the other hand, it would take HHH exactly five seconds to see that Matt was getting heat and squash him dead in the water like the rest of the Raw Roster.
So, instead, we get Matt Hardy vs the One-Legged-Wonder who will need the help of Mfers to beat him. Yay!
Winner: MHV1
Chris Benoit vs A-Train: Since there’s no one new left on the Roster for Brock to feud with, one would think that Benoit would be next in line. So therefore, I’m going to assume he goes over Train strong here to show he has a “shot†against guys much bigger than him and he’ll also get a win over Big Show (like that means anything anymore) after Eddie is done with him.
Winner: Benoit.
Tajiri vs Mysterio: Has the Kidman/Mysterio team split up already, leaving Kidman dead in the water for a record fourth time in two years? I don’t think they’re ready for Mysterio to head back to the cruiser division just yet. I’m thinking Tajiri with mist.
Winner: Tajiri.
John Cena vs Kurt Angle: Very likely to be the best match of the night, with no excuse not to be. I’m picking Cena, only because, according to Keith, Angle got the upper hand on Smackdown. A loss won’t hurt Angle and a win will put Cena in the top of the division. A win for Cena also keeps the feud going and, with nothing else for either of them to do, I see it happening so they can extend the feud through Survivor Series.
Winner: Cena via chain.
Vince McMahon (w/ Sable) vs Stephanie McMahon (w/ Linda): First of all, why does Linda STILL not have anything to say about Vince macking it up with Stephanie. Has it been explained and I missed it somewhere? Whatever. A loser leaves the WWE loses it’s merit when both of them have lost them Steph within the last two years. So, who leaves WWF television for a few months?
Oh, maybe the one about to get married and have babies with Giant Foreheads, Enormous Noses, and Cavity Chins.
Yeah visual image a face with Vince’s Chin and H’s nose and forehead. Chew on that one.
Winner: Vince
Eddie Guerrero vs Big Show: Well, there’s two choices here. Eddie’s on a hot streak and they might want the belt off him to put him against Lesnar. OR, they are putting Benoit against Lesnar and they want to keep building Eddie on the mid-card. Since I already think they’re going with Lesnar/Benoit for SS, I have to pick the latter.
Unless Chavo turns on Eddie, then all bets are off.
Winner: Eddie
Brock vs The Undertaker
Another match to establish Brock, I think. Taker with the belt is old busted. Brock is the new hotness.
Winner: Brock
In Other Reading
Ken Anderson returns after almost a year’s hiatus with possibly the best piece of writing on the site right now. The four part series details the ten ways to save wrestling. Start at the beginning and read through. Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four. Read it and love it.
Stating the Obvious is Widro’s current favorite column. The Boss knows what he’s talking about.
Robert Ortega with The Column I Still Don’t Understand.
Ron the Commie has returned. Smile and love him.
In Conclusion
Enjoy the rest of the weekend folks and thanks for reading. I’ll be back Tuesday over in music with your weekly dose of Music Goodness. Remember to check it out.
Other than that, it’s another week of my non-drinking incarceration. It’s finally coming down to the end though.
Until then.
