Who’s Who In The DCU 10.22.03

Welcome to the insanity of the DCU. As usual I’m going to ramble a bit before I actually get into the column. I find that this gets my juices going

Nothing new is actually happening in my life. I’ve finally beaten Simpsons Hit & Run, which allows me to actually finish my way tardy music column. But that column’s completion is again at risk by an attack from nostalgia via “I Love the 80’s: Strikes Back.” I really can’t see myself getting any sleep this week.

I have decided that I am going to call Dan Didio (DC’s VP of Editorial) and beg and plead for a gig with the company. I’m hoping that he’ll toss me a bone, maybe being an assistant editor on Aquaman, or writer of a ‘Mazing Man revamp. I’m just hoping that he appreciates my moxie and doesn’t hang up the phone.(We could always pitch a Blue Devil revamp together…-Ben) Well I think I’ve rambled enough, on to the column shall we?

The first person that got the lyric at the end of the last column was Brock; Fire away Brock.

Now what I want to know is whatever happened to Team Titan field leader Mirage? Is she still active in the DCU and if so, what’s she up to?

Well from what I could find out about Mirage she apparently got knocked up by Deathwing (who, surprise, is a bad guy.) She now devotes her time to taking care of the child. So she’s not active in the super hero sense, but more in the child rearing station wagon sense. Wait a minute I’ve never seen Ben and Deathwing in the same place at the same time…(Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that one…as most people know, Deathwing is my wacky evil twin from an alternate future where grown men wear full-length chaps without shame. –Ben)

Since fewer and fewer people are emailing me questions or posting on message board (hint hint) I took the following question from another MB. Take it away Sandmatt.

The Huntress (Helena Wayne) from the multiverse is brought into one says that she went to find her fathers grave, presumably Bruce / Batman but it wasn’t there.
Does this mean the Golden Age Batman was dead? If it does how did he die?

Yep, the Golden Age Bruce Wayne bit the dust. It appears that while Bruce Wayne was Police Commissioner (c’mon, this was Earth-2) some guy named Bill Jensen was convicted of murder. Well, he escaped prison and turned up with super powers strong enough to go toe to toe with the Justice Society. Now by this point Bruce had long retired Batman, but he took up the mantle once again to fight this menace. When they were fighting part of Batman’s mask damaged revealing his face. Well ol’ Jensen got so P.O.’d that he lost control of his powers. Both he and Wayne perished. And that is how old Bats bit it. For those of you wanting to pick up the issues, they were Adventure Comics #461-462.

411comics’ own Matt Morrison asks;

So Daron said…

Ok, I thought Captain Atom and Major Force were bitter enemies…now I really don’t get the end of Superman/Batman #1. What the hell is going with that last page?

It gets even MORE confusing for us Green Lantern fans who distinctly remember Major Force dying back in GL #60. Major Force was responsible for the death of Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend Alex Dewitt and he tracked the Major down with the aid of Guy Gardner, who has his own reasons for going after the Major. While Kyle couldn’t bring himself to kill Major Force, Guy had no problem with turning his hand into a nice sharp knife and gutting the Major.

I’m not saying it’s not impossible for the Major to be back from the dead…. but I don’t remember it ever happening before now. Little help, anyone?

Ah, yes death and the DCU. Well Guy did kill Major Force. However some antagonists of Guy’s called the Quorum restored some vitality to Major’s corpse. I believe that his first appearance back was Extreme Justice #17, which I imagine sells for two Bazooka Joe comics. As for why Captain Atom is teamed up with him I’m guessing for two reasons. One is because Cap is a good little soldier. He does what he’s told for his country. The other reason is that the person behind the team arranged for Major to be there to take Cap out in case Cap decides not to take an order. Only time will tell. What do you think Ben? (You’re leaving out MF’s big appearance in the last two issues of the late lamented Guy Gardner: Warrior in which the good Major killed Hal Jordan’s old jailbait girlfriend and Green Lantern Arisia, giving her the fridge treatment. Guy went a bit nuts and killed MF, again, with a Vuldarian Fragment Grenade or something, which did something wild like imploding him. Guy then had a final soliloquiy about guys like MF “are the war and I’m the warrior.” This is the appearance that gets most fans scratching their head with the Superman/Batman appearances. Me? I’m thinking MF is more or less un-killable, along the lines of Marvel’s Wonder Man, able to reconstitute himself from damn near anything. –Ben)

Does anyone have a question about a specific character? Troy Robinson, want to give it a shot?

Where is Composite Superman

Composite Superman you say. Sometimes I think that some of these questions are actually sent by Marvel fans who want to laugh at the DCU. But here goes, remember this was Pre Crisis.

Superman saves lives. One day he saved the life of Joe Meach, a poor loser. Well Supes decided to hook Meach up with a job at the Superman Museum. I mean honestly who wouldn’t want to be the caretaker of the Superman Museum? Oddly enough Meach grew to resent the Man of Steel.

So one day Meach was admiring the display featuring mini statures of the Legion of Superheroes, when a lightning bolt struck the statues and Meach. As is usually the case that bolt imbued Meach with super powers. See that 30th century duplicator ray used to make the statues not only duplicated their likeness, but a portion of their powers as well.

By this point Meach had a mad on for Superman. He had convinced himself that Supes was trying to hold him down by making him an overrated janitor. So he decided to humiliate Superman as his revenge. And since the story took place in World’s Finest #142 he figured Batman was fair game too. So he used Chameleon Boy’s power to become a green guy with a half Batman half Superman costume.

Since he possessed the powers of the Legion he was head and shoulders above Superman and Batman, and humiliated them. Then he found out their secret identities. Then he said that if they didn’t retire, he would out them. And then…his power charge wore off and he forgot what he had learned and done as Composite Superman.

Later Xan, and alien who wanted to avenge his space pirate dad (I’m not making this up) whom Superman had caught and imprisoned, recreated the initial accident retransforming Meach into the Composite Supeman . Again the heroes were almost defeated, but this time when the charge wore off Meach sacrificed his life to save Supes and Bats from Xan.

Supes destroyed the statues, but Xan (who had escaped from prison) traveled back in time to before the statues were destroyed, but after Meach had died, to recreate the accident again. Xan didn’t dig on the “Composite Superman” gig and renamed himself Amalgamax. But he was defeated.

Since there isn’t a Superman Museum with mini statues of the Legion, there can’t a be a Composite Superman. But that doesn’t mean that someone won’t make him. Superman Red/Superman Blue, Krypto and Comet have all made post Crisis appearances, so keep home alive.

I gotta admit, I have always been obsessed with duality, so the look of Composite Superman always struck me as cool. I have fond memories of the cover to World’s Finest #284 (by Keith Giffen.) It is a great image. But I’m not looking forward to this character’s return. I don’t see how he could possibly work in the current DCU. But I suppose if Lex can go to Smallville High…

Mike Z (who still has yet to be stumped) do you have an off the wall question for me?

How about a complete history of everybody’s favorite Legionnaire/Senator/Archeological TV Show host, Tenzil Kem?

Oy vey.

In the 30th Century on the planet Bismoll, all the inhabitants have the ability to eat basically all forms of matter. That being said, a young Tenzil Kem ventured to Earth to tryout for the Legion of Super Heroes. He got in. His super power was the ability to eat anything, and he got accepted into the premier super team of the 30th century. He eventually left the team to enter into politics back on Bismoll.

He wasn’t too keen on the idea of being politician. So he tried to cause a scandal and do all the political “don’ts.” But whatever he did only made him more popular with the people. As his popularity grew so did his power within the political structure of the 30th century universe.

He came back to save the Legion, and the Earth from the Miracle Machine (a gift from the Controllers) which was going bonkers. He ate the device. But not even his stomach could handle that alien technology, and he went crazy. But then Brainiac 5 made him better, and went back to politics.

He battled a baddie, got sent to Hell, and got declared dead. But he made it out alive, but also out of politics. He rejoined the Pre Zero Hour Legion. He even turned up during the recent “Dream Crime” storyline in the current Legion series. I hope that was complete enough. I loved the guy and that old book. I miss them both dearly.

Andy Campbell, is there anything that I can clear up for you?

One of your answers spurred a question from me. You mention Bat-family “slip-ups” with Batman and KGBeast and with Nightwing and Joker. Now, I got the scoop on Nightwing/Joker from you not too long ago, but what happened between Bats and KGBeast?

Well Bats was battling the KGBeast, but when you are fighting against a guy who would cut off his own hand to escape you have to realize that you are dealing with a tenacious foe. Batman also got the idea that the KGBeast probably wouldn’t be punished for his crimes. So Bats lured the Beast into Gotham’s sewer system, and trapped him in a small room. Bats then barricaded the door to prevent escape. Sure Batman informed the police of the Beast’s whereabouts, but some folks think that he waited until the Beast had suffocated first. The whole “Ten Nights of the Beast” storyline began in Batman #417. It’s a good story, if somewhat dated. Ben do you think Bats killed him? (Not if he goes to the same gym as Major Force. –Ben)

Newmanium asks

Who is immortal in the DCU?

Well there are lots of different types of immortal.

First we have the known immortals, like Vandal Savage, the Immortal Man and the Phantom Stranger.

Then we have the really long lived, like Talon, Blackheart (both from Batman Chronicles #6), Ra’s al Ghul, Circe, The Shade, Mister Z (from Superman titles), Resurrection Man, and Martian Manhunter. Sure they can probably die, but they live for a really long time, which is basically immortality.

After that we have the people who claim to be immortal or are really striving for it, like Evil Star, Multi Man and Professor Ivo.

Then we have Jericho, Count Viper (the foe of the Hawks) and the Hawks. The first two actually possess bodies, and the Hawks have immortal souls. Either way they’re all pretty hard to kill.

Speaking of hard to kill Creeper and Metamorpho are both pretty hard to kill, so they might as well be immortal. Ben, so you want to make the obligatory Steven Segal “Hard to Kill” comment or should I? (That Major Force guys seems to come back from the dead a lot…wow, déjà vu. –Ben)

Well that is going to do if for me. I’m tired. Oh yeah, this week’s question for y’all; what is the best comic death of all time? Be sure to come back next week as I tackle corporate synergy and my mom has a question for me. Admit it, you’re curious. I’ve got you hooked.

“If what they say is nothing lasts forever, then what makes ‘love’ the exception?”

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