Saturday Evening Post 11.08.03

Hello, I’m Flea. For now, I have only two items for
you…however, I also post this on 1ryderfakin.com, so if you like what you are
reading and want more, come back Sunday afternoon and click the link at the
bottom of the column…Of course, if you are not reading this until Late Sunday
/ Monday while you are pretending to work, it shouldn’t be an issue. Of course,
if you are not reading at all then it * really * shouldn’t  be an issue…

Let’s Get to it…     

TOP STORY

I guess I will say this one more time and then drop
it people have their own agendas and apparently are not creative and / or
smart enough to write original, well thought out columns without doing the j.o.b.
to their “chicken little” mindset  

The Wrestling business is in a lull right now, but not a
fatal one. 200,000 buy rates may look bad compared to 300,000 the year before,
but it is, in no way, the end of the wrestling business or a harbinger of death
for Vince McMahon’s company. A quick example and then I’ll wrap up this
brain dead topic and hope anyone who reads this will get a f*cking clue  

Over the last 5 years, two companies, the Walmart
Corporation and Microsoft, have had their share of ups and downs, which happens
in a business where the main purpose is to separate as many people from as much
money possible while providing them with the “goods” they desire. During the
high times of the late 1990’s, through about the first quarter of 2000, both
stocks soared, split and made their shareholders plenty of money – until the
“bottom dropped out”. That’s the phrase that people throw around when they
are not smart enough to realize that making money betting on other people’s
buying habits takes the nerve of a high diver and the restraint of a recovering
drug addict. No “bottom” dropped out, it was just the economy that brought
those two companies (and just about every other publicly traded stock) back to
reality. The companies struggled to maintain their share prices and went through
an earnings lull – however, both remained committed to a solid business model
and were able to tread water in a stagnant economy. In the end, Both WalMart and
Microsoft have managed to shore up not only their stock prices, but also their
future earnings, using patience and long term thinking / planning. 

Also, both companies are Global entities and both realized
that although the American earning potential was the goose that laid the golden
egg for a few years, the pace set by 3-4 years of unprecedented growth could
NEVER be sustained, therefore it was necessary to plan (and stick to) their long
term goals in order to remain reasonably profitable during the downtimes and
perfectly positioned for another period of growth. Maybe not one as profitable
and high profile as the late 1990’s, but a solid, extended period of earnings
and profitability that will benefit not only them, as companies, but also the
shareholders who invest.   

Now then – and I’ll type this reaaaaal slow for all of
you that do not seem to be able to get it through your heads – Vince McMahon and
World Wrestling Entertainment used their “boom” period of the 1990’s to
position themselves as a solid, publicly traded Global company, eliminated (with
tons of help from ECW and Time Warner) the competition and have become THE
provider for Sports Entertainment (wrestling) in the world. Get that? The WORLD. 

Jesus Christ, my 8 year old daughter has better business
acumen than all you wannabe business analysts that look at a 100,000 drop in PPV
buys as then end of WWE. Well, at least * some * people are finally coming
around to prefacing their doom and gloom with “this doesn’t mean McMahon is
going bankrupt, BUT ” But nothing. What part of Global Company is so tough
to understand? Do you realize that (how many times do I have to repeat this)
Vince has the WORLD by the balls in providing a wrestling product? China alone
has hundreds of millions of people who have had limited exposure to Sports
Entertainment (or anything American for that matter) and the doors are opening
for American companies to market their products to these paying (PAYING!!!!!!)
customers – the sky’s the limit. Ditto Europe. And ditto however the whole
Mid-East thing plays out. You want wrestling – See Vince. 

Yes, the product has taken a turn for the worse, mainly
because Vince has a major hang-up promoting anything that isn’t “his
creation” and when he tries, he doesn’t have the temerity to follow through
with it. However, we, as fans, set the bar so high to what * should * have
happened during the Invasion that nothing could have taken the place (or drawn
any more money) of  what the Fantasy Bookers had in their dreams. When
Vince saw the writing on the wall, he decided to go the nostalgia route when
that didn’t work, he put himself and his family back on TV. Do you know what
the common thread in all this is? The WWE’s viewership, for the most part,
remained steady and WWE continued to make money. Granted, it’s nowhere near
the “boom” period, but there are not too many companies that have done much
better. Or have a quarter of a million dollars in CASH reserves and near total
market share control. If you feel it’s necessary to point out the lack of
house show attendance and the drops in buyrates as signs that something drastic
needs to be done to “turn things around” to “save” wrestling, that’s
your opinion – but you are wrong. Wrestling does not need saving. As a matter
of fact, wrestling does not need YOU! Quit watching, don’t support the current
product do you think it really matters? 

There will always be an audience for “new” wrestling in
America. And the audience will grow, maybe not as big as YOU want it to be –
but wasn’t it really, really annoying to go to a bar and hear catchphrases? Or
to hear the uneducated mark crow about how much of a bad ass the Undertaker is
when YOU for a FACT know that the only reason he is being pushed is because of
backstage politics. Be honest with yourself – how many times have you actually
participated in a real life conversation with a stranger at a bar or a co-worker
about the inner working of the wrestling business? And how Vince vs. Stephanie
caused the buyrates to plummet and all they need to do to “turn things
around” is to push Rey and Dragon, put the belt on Benoit and have Paul E book
everything. Or, argue about the FACT that HHH is holding everyone down and
preventing much more talented and “over” wrestlers to get left is the dust
while he fondles the Championship Belt with one hand and fingers Stephanie with
the other. That leaves his big beak of a schnozz, which is firmly ensconced in
Vince’s asshole. Does anyone have these conversations? I bet no. Because, in
real life, it’s an embarrassment to be a “Wrasslin Fan”, even moreso when
it isn’t en vogue. And I think that’s the real reason behind the Internet
Wrestling Community’s hell-bent attitude towards Vince’s supposed lack of
business sense. 

For a while, we wrestling fans were actually accepted
members of popular culture instead of a group of losers who watch that “fake
bullshit” on TV. Nevermind that the above conversations probably never took
place – what was nice to know is they * could * have, given the right
circumstances and atmosphere. For a five year time period, being a hardcore
wrestling fan did not carry the stigma of someone needing to get a
life something which was taken away as Vince turned what was cool back into
the same joke that it always has, and always will be. No matter how many World
Class Athletes or Olympic Gold Medal Winners participate, or how many Cactus
Jack’s or Tommy Dreamers or “Attitude” commercials try to convince the
general public that it ain’t fake, the general opinion of most people in
society is that it * is * one big joke. “Why is that guy f*cking a corpse?”.
“Are the gay guys getting married?” “Does Trish really take it up the
ass?” These are the questions that are impossible to justify to anyone who
does not “Get It”. The Old Timers always resented Vince McMahon for making
their “rasslin” shows into a three ring circus and, at this point, many fans
who reaped the benefits of not being shackled in shame for suggesting “Hey
Man, this football game is boring, can you turn on RAW?” have seen the
“casual fan” turn their sights to reality TV and / or any other fad that may
catch their eye while they, as “rasslin fans”, are relegated to the
sidelines in abject ignominy, left only to bitch, moan and offer solutions to
any Message Board or Wrestling Website that accepts them. 

Vince, I believe, is aware of this. I think he also
realizes he is one or two angles and a frivolous spending economy away from
filling arenas and doubling buyrates. But what I’m damn sure he realizes is
that the WORLD is his oyster. Vince has spent his lifetime becoming the Man to
see for Sports Entertainment. He owns outright about 90% of televised American
wrestling history and, I imagine, would have no trouble talking Lawler or
Cornette out of their archives As far as the Jarretts are concerned, they are
his for the taking, should he so desire. Same goes for ROH. Or Whoever. THIS, as
I have mentioned, is the Future of Wrestling – bringing the history of
wrestling to your American and Canadian Doorsteps via DVD while Mass Marketing
the WWE Brand to the rest of the world. Why people, especially people who are
not * really * morons, can’t see this is beyond me. Again, I think it’s one
part jealousy and two parts holding a grudge against the man who runs the show.
Vince, no matter how hard he tries, cannot legitimize “rasslin” to the
American public, which leaves us, as fans, in limbo – just a bunch of geeks and
nerds who cling to a fake sport like some sort of security blanket and write
about it behind the anonymity of computers like it’s a matter of life and
death. It feels good to watch Vince “suffer” and kick him while he’s down
– after all “WE” know what’s good for the business. You keep thinking those
delusional thoughts while the man holding a Royal Flush lights his cigars with
Euros, Schillings and Yen he’s already sleeping on a pillow of gold and
plans any night now to start counting sheep stuffed with DVD money. The quicker
you get over your jealousy and bitterness and look at the big picture, the
happier you will be knowing that the culmination of “why” we are fans is
about to come to fruition over the next few years. The ball is in your court to
figure out the specifics of “why” I’m done typing about this topic –
I’m tired of beating a dead horse for a group of people who do not (or will not)
understand things like Futures, Big Pictures and Long Term Financial Goals  

HEADLINES

No, I don’t care that another one bites the dust. I
don’t care how their families feel, how their friends feel or how you feel.
When will it end? Not my problem, the more that go, the better. Death By
Misadventure and Dying Young is the price you have to pay sometimes and it
garners no sympathy from FLEA whatsoever. The only one that I felt sorry for was
Owen, who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The last time
Hyatte wrote a column, Tammy Sytch had this to say  

So why does
our Generation die so young? It’s something that saddens me, and it’s a
mystery that I can’t solve, even though I read almost monthly about another
one of our generation dying too young.

This generation is paying for some sin we have committed, but what sin was it?
How can we get past this, and save our wrestlers from this era, before we’re
all out of heroes to look up to. I wish I had the answer.

Only the good die young. 

Yes they do sweetheart, and you were Number One on the list
of Likely Suspects for years. And I understand your frustration but do not give
a rat’s ass. In a related story, The Sin you mentioned has the same answer –
the people dying do not care, either. They are living for the moment and damn
anyone or anything, professional or personal that gets in their way.

If you feel the need to cry or write another column “WHY
WHY WHY”, that’s your business as for me, I’m done feeling sorry for
these pricks. Actually, I was done feeling sorry years ago, but now I just might
as well put it in print  

FROM THE FLEA’S BAG – THE WRESTLING DEAD POOL

In addition to surfing, I searched Google to see if anyone
else has put together a list like this – to the best of my knowledge, it
hasn’t been done. If it has, good just don’t cry to me about “ripping
you off”. All of you are welcome to participate – I will post each and every
list on 1ryderfakin.com. Each time someone on the list(s) croaks, I’ll have a
nice picture and let whoever had that person on the list the highest write the
caption. ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST or WAKE UP DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER are my
favorites, but when the time comes, I’m sure you will be more creative. Again,
all participants are welcome – all lists can be mailed to
ryderfakin@yahoo.com. 

My WRESTLING DEAD POOL is below – for brevity (and
editing sake) let’s keep the lists to Top 7. 

Note – if you think this is callous, good. I think it’s
more obscene that I have to subjugate myself to Tributes and Endless Columns
about what a “tragedy” it is for these ignorant, self-centered cocksuckers
to die young. Good riddance. 

Note 2 – this list is not “age” based. So people who
die from natural causes or due to an age related illness (Stu, Lou Thesz, Gordon
Solie – or future soon to be gone Mae Young, Moolah, etc) are excluded. This is
strictly a Death By Misadventure / Next One To Die Young List. Also, no need to
explain “why” you made your selections, just gimme a Top 7. Once again,
everyone is welcome to participate!     

So here are my Top 7: 

• Scott Hall

• Jeff Hardy

• Ian Rotten

• New Jack

• Bret Hart

• BG Jammes

• Lex Luger

Submit all WRESTLING DEAD POOL LISTS to ryderfakin@yahoo.com

More for you Sunday Afternoon! Go HERE

Thanks for Reading

FLEA