Hodegpodgeatorium 02.05.03

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I like the idea of a day celebrating a powerful black leader. It makes a solid fifty percent of me proud. But I find that people celebrate Martin Luther King Day in very common and boring ways. I think that we should liven it up a bit. In fact I actually practiced what I preached this MLK Day just past.

It all began in the wee hours of the morning when I staged my very own MLK Day parade, complete with floats and all. Boy, did the Hodgepodgeatorium float celebrate the spirit of the civil rights movement. Our float contained a reenactment of King’s “I have a dream” speech. Except instead of King it was a Lando Calvrissian action figure. Seeing Lando standing before a plethora of action figures, G.I Joes standing next to Cobras and Empire Storm Troopers side by side with Rebel Soldiers was truly a sight to behold. Unfortunately a float depicting King’s rise to prominence won first place. But it was an honor just being there. And then just as things were winding down the police came and said that we needed a parade permit or something, and that we all had to disperse. That sucked.

Next on my agenda was to go caroling. In what has become an annual tradition I go door to door in my neighborhood singing Negro spirituals. I usually stick with the standards like “We Shall Overcome” and marching through the block singing. This year I decided to jazz things up with a little Public Enemy. I figured that on account of toward his last days King’s stance was beginning to harden I was still keeping with the spirit of the man. Well let’s just say the “Welcome to the Terrordome” didn’t go over quite so keenly with the neighbors. The police were called, there was pepper spray involved, and I really don’t want to get into it.

Finally I decided to that I was going to ride the bus all day long. But I wasn’t going to sit in the back like I do the other three hundred and sixty four days in the year. No damn it! I was going to sit in the front because I could. Let me say that I was disgusted by how behind the times Las Vegas is. This white woman came up to me and demanded that I give my seat to her. She said that it was the law. So I was like “Look lady this is the year 2004, things have got to change sometime, and I am putting my foot down now. That law is racist and should have been off of the books years ago. I am making a stand for equality. I don’t care if you are a 96 year-old amputee, I am your equal. Deal with it.” Needless to say I was promptly thrown off of the bus. I got to thinking that maybe I had the whole idea of MLK day wrong.

Perhaps MLK Day should be more of a commercial holiday. We could have greeting cards. Imagine receiving a card from a white friend that begins “I apologize for over four hundred years of oppression.” When you open it up it reads, “Let’s go have lunch together, on me ” Say you are a white guy who has a crush on a black girl. There could be that begins like this “Martin Luther King had a Dream.” It opens to read “I had one too, it was sexy, and you were there.” Just imagine.

Store could have sales. Just like Labor Day, and Presidents Day, MLK Day could be known for sales. They could advertise “no poll taxes for twelve months.” Home Depot could have fifty percent off of all hoses. There could be “Coloreds Only” sales. Restaurants could have “back of the house” specials. This thing could be big.

Or MLK Day could be more family-oriented. But that would require a food item. Thanksgiving has a turkey. Easter has eggs. Halloween has candy corn. I can’t think of anything that sums up the spirit of the holiday, but I know that that item of food exists. But then again maybe I have this whole thing wrong.

Perhaps we shouldn’t dwell on his dream. Maybe his message was more important. Equality among the races is the pressing issue, not necessarily coexisting. Since we still aren’t equal maybe MLK Day should be used as a sort of civil disobedience day to shed light on the issue of disparity between the races. Random acts of disobedience like you and a group of friends singing MLK carols outside a courthouse. Or sending letters to lawmakers protesting unjust laws or demanding the release of political prisoners.

But then again those greeting cards sounded pretty cool.