Opening Credits: Quotes of the Week
It just seems more appropriate to have the “Opening Credits” at the beginning of the column instead of 1/3 of the way in, doesn’t it?
Simon’s pissed
Everyone’s favorite obnoxious music executive, Simon Cowell, had a good point when he spouted this beauty of a quote during the most recent elimination round of Fox’s “American Idol 3” competition. After all, both Randy and Paula weren’t terribly thrilled with the second eight people of the final 32 either. It was a night of lackluster performances and as usual, Simon didn’t mind telling the world that
It’s a good thing we didn’t charge these people to get in tonight because they all would want a refund
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People speak out about A-ROD
Seeing as the best baseball player in the world (Alex Rodriguez or A-Rod) has been traded to the highest profile and one of the best teams in all of baseball, the New York Yankees, to say that it was going to garner a few headlines is probably the understatement of the year.
Everyone had something to say about it whether it was Boston born talk show host, Jay Leno or Boston Mayor, Thomas Menino. However, these were probably my two favorite quotes of the week.
First, Kelly Ripa offered this startling analysis of A-Rod as her morning talk show host co-host Regis Philbin showed the audience one of the New York City tabloid newspapers featuring a picture of the new Yankee
He looks like a winner to me.
Perfect
Of course, New York loving David Letterman had some jokes to chime in with about the Yankees riches on CBS’ “The Late Show.” This one was my favorite since it’s probably the closest to reality
The price of a beer at Yankee Stadium will go from 8 dollars to 22 dollars
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Thank God for “The Surreal Life.”
The second to last episode of “The Surreal Life,” the reality series where the WB takes six B and C list celebrities and puts them in a luxurious Hollywood mansion and forces them to complete various tasks for the entertainment of television public, featured quite an adventure. Former “The Surreal Life” cast member and Motley Crue rocker, Vince Neil, called the current “The Surreal Life” and cast and invited them to his private club in Palm Springs, CA.
When the current cast arrived at the club, they discovered it was actually a nudist club. Tammy Faye Messner (formerly Bakker) was genuinely offended by the whole thing since she’s a devout Christian and not in favor of nudity She had this to say as she ran out of the club reminding us of her and her ex-husband’s exploits in the 1980s
I said I’d never cry on TV again .Well, you made me cry.
Later on, former “Baywatch” hottie, Traci Bingham made this comment to adult entertainment record breaking legend, Ron Jeremy after he said he was OK going around the club nude.
Of course you’re OK with it You’re Ron Jeremy.
Well, she’s got a point
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Strictly for Fun
This quote from Jimmy Kimmel’s late night talk show isn’t profound or show defining, but it’s funny
If I won 10 million dollars, I’d give some to charity… but I’d also buy a lot of chicken wings, eat them all, and build a palace with the bones.
But who would live there?
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TV HEADLINES: Mark Burnett, “Stuttering John,” William Hung, and Jayson Blair
The King of Reality Adds to his Empire
If you’re not familiar with this name in the realm of reality television, pay attention very closely because he will likely become one of the most important men in television:
The name
Mark Burnett
Not only is Burnett responsible for probably the most successful show in the history of reality television, “Survivor,” but Burnett is one of the executive producers of NBC’s new reality sensation, “The Apprentice” as well. Both shows have proved to be interesting, dramatic, and worth tuning into week after week to see what happens next and who gets eliminated or “fired.” In addition, he is also responsible for last summer’s modest reality hit, “The Restaurant,” which will return for a second season this summer on NBC.
Well, it appears Burnett will apparently have his hand in no less than THREE more reality shows spread out through out the broadcast networks. The shows will include:
* Vegas Baby – Last December, it was announced that Burnett is teaming up with the Fox network to develop a reality series focusing on the relaunch of the Golden Nugget, a formerly famous casino in downtown Las Vegas. The format and the primary “storylines” that will be focused on have not been determined, but I imagine it will revolve around the troubles and difficulties of reopening a popular casino.
* The Next Mike Tyson? – This week TVguide.com and Variety reported that Burnett will work with Dreamworks and Sylvester Stallone to develop a reality program that goes in search of the next boxing superstar that will air on NBC. The un-scripted drama will cost the network about $2 million per episode. Burnett also hopes to launch a new boxing organization in conjunction with the January 2005 launch of the show.
* “The Apprentice 2?” – According to an article in the New York Post‘s Page Six, Burnett will also work develop a “west coast version” of “The Apprentice” except that it will star Dreamworks’ Jeffrey Katzenberg in “the Donald role” and air on CBS. Seeing as Dreamworks is a large entertainment company focusing primarily on movie making, I would imagine the show will have a much different feel to it despite the format being similar. Not only does the west coast have a different feel to it, but the kind of businesses Trump runs are completely different than what Katzenberg does at Dreamworks. So, that probably means more tasks will center around the entertainment industry and celebrities involved with it. Perhaps the contestants will need to complete a rapid marketing campaign for a lesser-known movie? Maybe the players will have to be responsible for building a set for an upcoming movie? What about the competitors casting extras for an upcoming movie? This could be a wildly interesting series that lets the viewing audience see what Hollywood business is all about.
Stuttering John Moves On
The Associated Press and Yahoo TV news reported that shock jock Howard Stern’s famous colleague “Stuttering” John Melendez will join “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” not only as a roving reporter and interviewer character, but also as the show’s announcer. Melendez will be replacing Edd Hall in the announcing capacity as he has decided to leave to pursue movie opportunities full-time.
The AP reports that according to an NBC spokeswoman, Melendez became an intriguing property to “The Tonight Show” after his appearance on ABC’s “I’m a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here.” During his run on that show he came off as a “peacemaker” and a “family man.” It appears that NBC is looking for THAT John Melendez as opposed to the person that commonly embarrassed and humiliated people while working with Howard Stern.
The journalists on ESPN’s “Around the Horn” debated this week whether or not this is a good thing, both for Melendez and for NBC. Several of the five panelists seemed to be concerned that “The Tonight Show” may exploit Melendez and use him as fodder for cheap comedy. I don’t believe anyone affiliated with NBC or the show wants to get involved in any sort of comedy that not only makes the network appear either amateurish
in terms of the comedy or even more importantly, disrespectful and insensitive towards people with disabilities.
While it does appear strange that “The Tonight Show” would bring in someone with a potential speech impediment to be the show’s announcer, it appears honest and that they are after Melendez’s compassionate, yet humorous personality. At the very least, he’s setting a damn fine example for people who may have a similar impediment.
William Hung: National Celebrity whether we like it or not
Just in case we all needed a reminder, you don’t necessarily have to be talented to become famous and a national celebrity. Prime example: William Hung.
Take note of his most recent nationally televised appearances
* SportsCenter – Mr. Hung was all over “SportsCenter” and “Pardon the Interruption” this week after he gave the California-Berkley crowd another rousing rendition of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” during a halftime show of a recent home basketball game.
* Ellen’s show – Everyone’s favorite “American Idol” reject er contestant sang the same song on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show.” Not only did he get the opportunity to sing his favorite song, but the package included three lessons with a vocal coach. Ellen is so nice
* A Return to “American Idol” – As already stated in a previous Groove Tube Update, “American Idol” producers have already said they are eager to get William back for their midseason primetime special, “Uncut, Uncensored, and Untalented.” I have a feeling he won’t be showing the world his knack for Shakespearean monologues
*A RECORD CONTRACT! – Yes, the boy has been offered a record contract. According to Zap2it, the Fuse music network and Koch Entertainment surprised Hung with a record contract offer on evening of February 18th. According to the article, Hung will receive a check for $25,000, a deal with Koch, and a music video for his first single, which will air on Fuse.
In a statement in the Zap2it article, Fuse Network President, Marc Juris said the following:
As the underdog music video network, Fuse instantly identified with William’s drive to do his best and ‘have no regrets at all. Every one of us is joyfully guilty of singing our favorite song at the top of our lungs with wild abandon, all the while completely off key and uninhibited. That’s what William did and instantly won the hearts of America.
Why can’t we all get record deals like that? I sing off key in the shower all the time and what do I get?
How about a chance to repose this question: Would you rather be a celebrity with no talent or someone talented without the celebrity status?
Unfortunately, as cute and nice as William Hung is, he doesn’t have much choice but to be a celebrity without the talent. Is that something we like and can appreciate? Personally, I’d rather value talent than a rampant, raging, publicity network.
“Sex and the City” is coming back! Sort of
For those not ready to say good bye forever to the women from the “Sex and the City” cast, it appears you won’t have to.
The HBO series may be ending its run on Sunday, February 22nd, but it may not be the last time we see the stars together after all. According to TVGuide.com and TVBarn.com, HBO is in negotiations with the four stars of the hit show, Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie), Kim Cattrall (Samantha), Kristin Davis (Charlotte), and Cynthia Nixon (Miranda), to make a return to their signature roles, but on the big screen instead of a weekly series.
Executive Producer, Michael Patrick King is currently working on a script.
Is this a good idea? Would you like several million dollars? I believe that no matter how the show ends, a movie featuring the four women would do very well at the box office. However, whether or not it would be well received would depend on which direction the writers and producers go.
Personally, I would rather see the movie be completely independent of the current storylines and telling its own stories rather merely continuing where the television series left off. When the “X-Files” movie came out, it could go in many different directions because it was a show not as devoted to continuous storylines the way “Sex and the City” is. I think the writers will need to approach those types of story arcs with extreme care
Katie Scores!!!
According to TVBarn.com and NBC public relations, former New York Times reporter and current disgrace to the field of journalism, Jayson Blair, has decided to come out of hiding and talk to NBC’s Katie Couric in a March 5th primetime special and appear live for a “Today” interview three days later.
Blair is the young journalist who rose through the ranks apparently through his connections and personality instead of his talent and knack for writing solid, honest stories. It was discovered in May of 2002 that Blair made up sources and plagiarized portions of the stories he produced for the New York Times. As the NBC press release states, the scandal that ensued “shook journalism to its very foundation.” Several high-ranking officials from the newspaper ended up resigning and everyone in the field was forced to look at themselves in the mirror when it came to how they do their jobs.
While the scandal has mostly subsided, Blair has resurfaced so he can attempt to “come clean” in his new book, Burning Down My Masters’ House. That’s the answer to the question: “Why in God’s name would he be willing to enter the public eye and face harsh criticism yet again?” While it will be difficult, money talks and selling copies of his books helps that cause. So, Blair will put his ass on the line and go through with the interview with NBC’s golden girl, Katie Couric.
Is it professional suicide? Or is it good PR? Well, considering it couldn’t get much worse for Mr. Blair, it certainly wouldn’t be professional suicide. However, drudging up all of his mistakes from the past may not be a wise move either. We’ll see if any of it matters I am sure many people will be interested to see what Mr. Blair has to say anyway After all, how do you justify giving an entire industry a black eye?
I think destroying the hopes of a young college intern is a GREAT IDEA!!!
In an effort to make a student hoping to succeed in the television industry potentially feel as worthless as possible, NBC’s “Today” show launched a competition known as “The Intern” to mock the network’s primetime show, “The Apprentice.”
This week long series will see eight interns already working at NBC in some capacity compete in various tasks with one of the eight getting fired over the next four days during the week of February 23-27. The four winners will get to go on special assignment with the “Today” crew (Katie Couric, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, and Ann Curry) while the four losers will return to their previous assignments at NBC.
I remember being an intern at NBC several years ago and I know I sought approval from any of my supervisors in any way possible. If a national television personality told me I didn’t do a very good job at a task I was performing at, I wouldn’t be terribly pleased or very sure of my future in the television industry. Yet, there is the “Today” show, for the purpose of entertainment and mockery, putting the fragile, young psyche of a college student on the line
It may sound a bit dramatic to make points like that, but just imagine what it may be like if you’re 21, eager to work in television, trying to please your supervisors only to get “fired” on a nationally televised show. It could really hurt The producers should have tried something else
Quick Hits
***Of all the shows WHY??? – Zap2it reported this week that everyone’s favorite quirky, comic book loving, pop culture observing director Kevin Smith will be making an appearance on CBS’s “Yes, Dear.” The show, set to air March 22nd, will involve a storyline where Jimmy (Mike O’Malley) steals movie premiere red carpet credentials from the movie studio Greg (Anthony Clark) works for. While on the red carpet, Jimmy will get into an argument with Smith, who is playing himself. However, even though he is playing himself in the show, the storyline is that he has just directed an inspirational war movie (pretty much confirming “Yes, Dear” takes place in an alternate universe).
While the storyline seems humorous on the surface, I have to ask this: Why Kevin? Of all the television shows to make an appearance on? I figure he’d be more apt to appear on a show like “Will & Grace” as opposed to a lesser known, less funny show like “Yes, Dear.”
***Hot Celebrity, Hot Show Let the fireworks begin – In an article about Paris Hilton’s frequent recent television appearances, the New York Post‘s Don Kaplan revealed a little information about one of her upcoming stints. He stated the following:
The next stop on the Hilton express includes a guest-spot on Fox’s hottest new drama, “The O.C. ”
On the teen-angst nighttime soap, Hilton will play a Hollywood starlet whose mere smile shakes things up in Orange County.
It seems a perfect fit one of the hottest shows on television being invaded by one of the celebrities hogging the media spotlight at the time. The storyline sounds intriguing as well. I wonder what kind of trouble Paris is going to cook up in Orange County
***Is ESPN better off? – Reuters and Yahoo TV News stated this week that former ESPN boxing analyst and “Around the Horn” host and personality, Max Kellerman, has officially signed with Fox Sports Net since he could not come to any sort of agreement to remain at the Worldwide Leader in Sports.
Kellerman will host a daily half-hour show that according to Fox Sports Network will be a mix of Fox News’ “The O’Reilly Factor” and Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.” In addition, he’ll be heavily involved in the network’s “Sunday Night Fighs” series and the most famous show the network has to offer, “The Best Damn Sports Show Period.
As the Reuters article notes, this is pretty significant for two reasons. First, Fox Sports will finally have a show and personality based in New York City instead of everything based in Los Angeles. In addition, the network is gaining someone who developed into a real personality at ESPN. Fox Sports Net now has him. Will this help the network’s credibility? Or at least its’ viewership? I guess it depends on how many people like Kellerman’s obnoxious New York personality
*** Looks like the viewers aren’t interested – According to TVGuide.com, only 7.5 million people were interested in seeing Fox’s “The Littlest Groom,” essentially “The Bachelor” for little people. To show how uninterested people were in this show, while “The Littlest Groom” brought in 7.5 million viewers at 8:00, the 9:00 show, “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance” managed to secure more than 16 million viewers. Looks like Fox won’t be doing that again
Though, I am a bit surprised. Are little people to mainstream now that when a show is devoted to them, it’s no big deal? I didn’t think our society felt that way, but apparently they do.
***I never thought it would be possible – but Mindy Cohn (“The Facts of Life”), David Faustino (“Married With Children”), Tori Spelling (“Beverly Hills, 90210”), and Antonio Sabato, Jr. (“General Hospital” and “Melrose Place”) will be back on a network television series. In fact, they will all be on the SAME ONE WOW!!!
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Closing Credits: I am worried about the television industry’s creativity
I’ve noticed a trend in the television industry over the last 12-18 months or so. In fact, there’s a good chance you’ve noticed this trend as well. What am I talking about?
Reality television.
It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when this became more than an anomaly and a full-fledged trend. It definitely started with “Survivor” in the Summer of 2000. That show captivated the nation during its summer run and proved that reality television wasn’t just for the creators/producers of shows like MTV’s “The Real World” and “Road Rules.”
From there, other important reality based shows including “Big Brother,” “American Idol,” “The Bachelor/Bachelorette,” and the brand new gem, “The Apprentice” emerged and became part of the lexicon of American popular culture the same way “Friends” has and “Seinfeld” did.
While it is immensely fascinating to see this genre of programming emerge and continue to enchant the American public, one problem has also surfaced in this process: That problem can be summed with up with the question: “Where have all the comedies and drama series’ gone?”
It’s fairly easy to identify where the dramas have gone. If there is one genre of programming that has remained consistent, it is the hour-long drama. Unfortunately, while the hour-long drama has remained steady, it’s largely because the networks are relying on the “solving crime” dramas like “Law & Order,” “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” and “Cold Case.” While the shows are wildly entertaining and often interesting in the way they deal with current issues, they have become largely formulaic and not terribly creative.
Even more startling is the fact that the situation comedy has taken a beating through out the rise of the quick-fix reality show. I mentioned in my very first Groove Tube Update back in December that I thought the future of sit-coms on NBC Thursday night was great since “Will & Grace” could be a solid anchor, “Scrubs” is outstanding, and “Good Morning, Miami” was greatly improving. However, “Scrubs” was moved back to Tuesday nights and “Good Morning, Miami” has been on hiatus since the debut of “The Apprentice.”
Now, it appears that NBC, the network that brought us some of the best comedies of all time on Thursday nights, like “Friends,” “Cheers,” and “The Cosby Show” will, at least for the foreseeable future, abandon what they’ve done for 20 years in favor of airing the hour long Donald Trump led reality drama. In the mean time, the comedies get left behind on all fronts. “Whoopi” and “Happy Family” are holding their own on Tuesday nights, but they are lightly regarded by critics. Also, those two programs are anchored by network staple, “Frasier” and now the witty “Scrubs” as well. In the mean time, shows like “Average Joe: Hawaii,” and original (and repeat) episodes of “The Apprentice” hog up the NBC airwaves.
NBC is not the only network that is guilty of relying on the reality format. Fox has also fallen deep into the trap of reality television. The most glaring example of the creativity suffering comes from Fox Monday night. Several years ago, the 8:00 PM show would be the highly regarded, creative, humorous, yet touching, dramedy, “Ally McBeal,” about a young lawyer in Boston and all the feelings and thoughts she experienced and the 9:00 PM show would be the drama “Boston Public” in its prime delivering strong performances and intriguing storylines.
“Ally” got canceled, and “Boston Public” got shipped to Fridays where its audience withered away to the point where the network had no choice but to cancel that show as well. Instead, on Monday, February 16th, the 8:00 PM show was “The Littlest Groom,” which essentially is “The Bachelor” for little people and then at 9:00, the viewing public was treated to the one-hit wonder reality dramedy “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance.”
Here is another interesting comparison to draw from
I dug deep in the Lexis-Nexis databases to pull ratings from different weeks in February. One was this past week, one was from 2001 and one from 1995. I pulled the top 15 shows from each time period according to the Nielsen Media Ratings published by the Associated Press. The results are pretty interesting and probably predictable considering the points I’ve been making for this portion of the column. Take a look below and notice the reality shows in bold (not including “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”):
2/15/95
1. “E.R.,” NBC, 22.2 million homes
2. “Seinfeld,” NBC, 20.7
3. “Grace Under Fire,” ABC, 19.0
4. “Wings,” NBC, 18.9
5. “Home Improvement,” ABC, 18.7
6. “60 Minutes,” CBS, 16.7
7. “Texas Justice – ABC Sunday Night Movie,” 16.3
8. “NYPD Blue” ABC, 16.2
9. “Murder, She Wrote,” CBS, 15.6
10. “Friends,” NBC, 15.2
11. “Mad About You,” NBC, 14.9
12. “Frasier,” NBC, 14.6
13. “Murphy Brown,” CBS, 14.3
14. “Walton Wedding,” CBS, 14.0
15. “Roseanne,” ABC, 14.0
2/21/01
1. “ER,” NBC, 18.5 million homes.
2. “Survivor II,” CBS, 17.0
3. “Friends Outtakes,” NBC, 14.7
4. “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” CBS, 14.4
5. “Friends,” NBC, 14.3
6. “Law & Order,” NBC, 14.1
7. “The Practice,” ABC, 13.1
8. “Who Wants to be a Millionaire-Sunday,” ABC, 12.9
9. “Will & Grace,” NBC, 12.8
10. “The West Wing,” NBC, 12.5
11. “Who Wants to be a Millionaire-Wednesday,” ABC, 12.1
12. “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS, 12.0
13. “Who Wants to be a Millionaire-Thursday,” ABC, 12.0
14. “60 Minutes,” CBS, 11.5
15. “ABC Monday Night Movie: These Old Broads,” ABC, 11.5
2/10/04
1. “American Idol” (Tuesday), Fox, 30.1 million viewers
2. “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” CBS, 29.3
3. “American Idol” (Wednesday), Fox, 28.8
4. “Grammy Awards,” CBS, 26.3
5. “Friends,” NBC, 24.9
6. “Survivor: All-Stars,” CBS, 23.1
7. “ER,” NBC, 22.2
8. “American Idol” (Monday), Fox, 21.2
9. “CSI: Miami,” CBS, 20.6
10. “Without a Trace,” CBS, 18.9
11. “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS, 18.8
12. “The Apprentice,” NBC, 18.4
13. “Law & Order,” NBC, 17.3
14. “Two and a Half Men,” CBS, 16.5
15. “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance,” Fox, 16.2
What you’ve probably noticed is that the ratings from 1995 and 2001 contain more highly regarded creative shows such as “Roseanne,” “Seinfeld,” “Murphy Brown,” and “The West Wing,” while the 2004 ratings contain SIX reality shows in the top 15 and THREE of them being “American Idol” broadcasts. In addition, only three comedies are in the Top 15 and one (“Friends”) will be canceled at the end of this season, while one other (“Raymond”) probably won’t last past the 2004-05 season.
I think the point of all this analysis is pretty clear, but it’s worth repeating: the television industry is abandoning the situation comedy while relying on reality programming to draw viewers in and pay the bills. While I commend reality show gurus like Mark Burnett for bringing shows like “Survivor” and “The Apprentice” to fruition because it does add a whole separate genre to the world of television and that’s fascinating. However, these shows are added to the prime time lineup at the expense of comedic programming and I find that to be a problem. It may be harder to find a comedy that is funny AND resonates with the public the way “Friends” and “Will & Grace” has, but it’s a challenge the industry should tackle head on, instead of running with open arms to people like Jeff Probst, Donald Trump, and Simon Cowell.
All I am saying is: “Give comedy and original dramas a chance “
That goes to you, the guy watching television, and also the guys in Hollywood making the executive decisions
In the mean time
Enjoy the show (whatever show that may be )!
— Coogan
