Mr. Coogans Weekend Groove Tube Update 03.06.04

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Opening Credits: Quotes of the week

Maury Povich still goin’ strong.

The formerly somewhat respectable “Maury Povich Show” has essentially morphed into a house of horrors that only consists of only two different shows. One day, they air the “You’re my baby’s daddy!” show where women drag deadbeat guys onto the show for paternity tests. The next day they air the “I know you’re cheatin’! Now we’re going to prove it.” This episode usually entails pathetic women dragging deatbeat guys onto the show to take lie detector tests to prove “once and for all,” they are cheating.

Well, one of my favorite things that happens while the second show is on is that when Maury asks the women how they’ve known he’s cheating despite his constant denial. This is a typical exchange from a show aired last week:

Maury: You said you smelled another woman. Was it perfume or something?

Guest: No. P****!!

I think you have an idea what she may be talking about

* * *

Only on “Curb Your Enthusiasm “

Larry David (the famous “Seinfeld” Executive Producer) and HBO = brilliance.

David’s improv show, “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” in its third full season, takes wacky situations David contrives without the confinement of a real script, and the freedom HBO provides and produces some hilarious situations.

Take the most recent episode. Larry and his wife Cheryl (played by Cheryl Hines) have just completed a ravishing love making session. However, Cheryl complained being “numb from the waist down.” Apparently, Larry tried a new condom that contained numbing agent to help him last longer and put it on inside out. So, Cheryl has the gel inside her and can’t feel her torso or legs. At the end of a phone conversation Larry had with his friend/representative, Jeff, he says to Larry:

I’m sorry to hear about Cheryl’s numb vagina.

Did you ever think you’d hear a line like that on television? Ever?

* * *

Owen Wilson = class

During an Oscar pre-ceremony show, “Entertainment Tonight’s” and ABC’s Maria Menounos conducted a playful interview with presenters Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller revolving around Keisha Castle Hughes and Oscar nominated performance in Whale Rider. When they were finished, Owen stayed behind, playfully stared at Maria’s chest and asked the question:

Are those real?!?!

Certainly not something out of the ordinary .unless it’s on the Oscar red carpet

TV HEADLINES: “Seinfeld,” “Law & Order,” “The Practice,” and VIDEO GAMES TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!!

Are video games taking over the world?!?!

Well, that headline is overly dramatic, but according to a Reuters story published in USA Today, the television industry should definitely be concerned about a shrinking audience in a key demographic they are targeting.

Sony (maker of the Play Station video game console) has stated in the study they completed that peak usage of online gaming took place between 5:00 PM and 11:00 PM a span that clearly intrudes into television’s prime time. Going even further, the electronics company said that 65% of its gaming taking place between 8:00 PM and 11:00 PM were aged men 18 to 34.

This is significant for two interconnecting reasons. First, that particular group’s television viewership is down somewhere between 8 and 12% this year and Sony suggests this could be a big reason for that. Second, that demographic is a prime target for broadcasters and, more importantly, advertisers. If they continue to fail to reach that audience, it could spell a lot of trouble in terms of advertising dollars from certain sources meant to reach that age group of males.

Now, it’s probably a stretch to say that television will eventually lose out to video games (online and offline) simply because of one study done by one company as the headlines suggest. However, this shouldn’t be immediately dismissed either. After all, most television isn’t really designed for the 18-34 male demographic. “American Idol?” “Will & Grace?” “Everybody Loves Raymond?” They are all entertaining shows, but certainly don’t send the young, male college student running to the couch with remote control in hand. Has this reached an epidemic of crisis proportions? Certainly not. Is this worth thinking about? Certainly.

Get ready for that “Seinfeld” DVD!

As dozens of shows that don’t deserve to be released on DVD are being released (“My Big Fat Greek Life?”), I am sure it has crossed the minds of thousands of people where a legendary show like “Seinfeld” has been in the DVD collection madness.

Well, as one might expect, “Seinfeld” hasn’t been overlooked in this frenzy, there just have been some “issues” that needed working out. According to the New York Post, Jason Alexander (George Costanza on the show) told the Toronto Globe and Mail that the details have been worked out and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine Benes) and Michael Richards (Cosmo Kramer) will be providing extra material to the DVD collection being released by Jerry Seinfeld and Castle Rock television.

According to previous reports, the hold up in releasing the DVD is that the three stars of the former NBC hit sitcom did not want to participate in the making of the package because they were not going to see any royalties from it.

However, according to quotes in the Toronto newspaper, Alexander stated that they are in negotiations with Castle Rock and Seinfeld and they will be taking part in the making of the collection. At this point, there isn’t a release date of the DVD, but I think we can all breathe a deep sigh of relief and know that it will be on its way in the near future.

Alexander also stated that Seinfeld has hogged all the residuals saying he has seen “about a quarter million dollars of residuals” while their fearless leader has seen “hundreds of millions of dollars.” If that’s the case, can you blame the cast for holding out?

ANOTHER “Law & Order???”

When it comes to the number of different versions of a crime drama one network can air, it appears NBC is trying to stay one up on CBS.

After a recent announcement by CBS publicizing the creation of a third “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” show to be set in New York City, NBC has struck back by announcing that a fourth “Law & Order” series is in development.

In a statement posted on Zap2it, NBC Entertainment Chief, Jeff Zucker isn’t overly worried about another edition of the famed crime solving drama saturating the airwaves. He stated:

With regards to the fourth edition, it’s a pretty unique twist on the franchise and it’s significantly different from any of the first three. As we’ve said all along, these are four different shows, each unique. “SVU” is as different from “Law & Order” as “Criminal Intent” is as different from “SVU” as any of the other procedural crime dramas anywhere else.

Zucker also said that the franchise is “hotter than it’s ever been.” He feels this way despite slight ratings dip of all three shows.

Seriously though, when is enough going to be enough? Zucker insists the shows are all different, which technically is true, but sure as hell doesn’t feel like it when I watch them. In the mean time, the network keeps piling it on real thick not really showing they are giving the public what they want, but showing they don’t have enough originality to develop an interesting, watchable adult drama series that could be aired at 10:00 PM on a weekday evening. Yes, Dick Wolf has done an outstanding job over the years developing these shows and to some degree, they will always be popular, but they are largely formulaic and not terribly creative.

What’s the deal with “The Practice?”

If the writers of Webster’s Dictionary were looking for an updated example entry for the word “vague,” they might want to look at this story as reported by Reuters, The Hollywood Reporter and Zap2it.

According to the reports, ABC Chairman Lloyd Braun made some sort of off-handed remark about spinning off the long running David E. Kelley series, “The Practice.” Braun spoke to reporters on March 2nd about February sweeps and the topic happen to come up in conversation. The Chairman apparently has not made any decision about whether “The Practice” will be renewed next season but did state that he is in “active discussions” with Kelley about developing another series.

According to Zap2it, Braun stated the following about Kelley and his potential new deal with ABC:

I can tell you we’re in active discussions with David Kelley about another show that will share some of the same blood with “The Practice.”

Though, Braun declined to elaborate any further only saying:

We’re not prepared to get into too many details yet because [the concept] is still going through that brain of David Kelley’s.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, there is speculation that the new series will feature James Spader’s Alan Shore character in a different line of work, though no one at the network or anyone associated with David E. Kelley will acknowledge that Spader is involved in any plans for a spin-off.

See this story couldn’t be any more vague right now. However, what everyone can agree on is that there’s something brewing at ABC and it may involve saying good-bye to one of the longest running shows on the network, “The Practice.”

C’mon “Raymond!” What’s it gonna be?

TVGuide.com is among the media outlets that is fanning the “Will ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ return for a 9th season?” fire again this week. First, on Tuesday, the magazine reported that Executive Producer Phil Rosenthal hinted at, while at an event for the Museum of Television and Radio Monday night, that the highly successful sitcom could return for a shortened 9th season (because thanks to “Friends” and “Sex and the City,” that seems to be the popular thing to do now).

Then TVGuide.com struck again the following day saying that during a conference call reporters had with CBS President, Les Moonves, on Tuesday, March 2nd, he said he remained “very guardedly optimistic” would return for another season.

So, while no official announcement has been made, it looks like “Raymond” could go one more round and give the public new episodes during the 2004-05 season. It’s a shame that Rosenthal and Ray Romano feel the need to cut the show off as they seem to want. I really believe these characters have a lot more to say and to experience before we say good-bye. Here are two potential storylines: 1) Debra (Ray’s wife Patricia Heaton) getting pregnant for a third time. 2) Even better Robert (Ray’s brother Brad Garrett) and Amy (Robert’s wife Monica Horan) potentially having a baby. That ongoing storyline could take up an entire season alone.

But alas it appears that we won’t be able to see that kind of fun unfold. I don’t know why Romano is so anxious to leave; he’ll never be a great film actor

***Quick Hits***

*** Getting over “Boobgate” Part I – NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” has announced that Janet Jackson will appear on the long running sketch comedy show as host AND musical guest on April 10th. Representatives of the show also announced that they have already greenlit 47 jokes involving the star’s breast, Justin Timberlake, the NFL, and the term “wardrobe malfunction.”

Seriously though, it’s good to see that poor Janet Jackson hasn’t been blacklisted from appearing in public and on television ever again. Considering it will be one of her first performances since that fateful Super Bowl Sunday, it will be interesting to see how she is received, both by cast and audience.

***The BEST rivalry in sports gets another boost – According to multiple media reports, Fox has worked out a deal with Boston’s local sports cable network, the New England Sports Network (NESN) and George Steinbrenner’s YES network so they can show the first game of the year between Major League Baseball’s bitter rivals, the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees in prime time on Friday, April 16th. The game will be broadcast from Boston’s storied Fenway Park.

Fox is betting that the sports loving world has been captivated enough with the off-season posturing between the two teams since the Yankees defeated the Red Sox in Game 7 of the American League Championship Series of last year. Fox normally doesn’t air baseball in primetime until the end of the season unless something special comes up. I think it’s a gold mine. However, I’ve been told that no one outside of Boston and New York (and the media) care about the rivalry. We’ll see how the overall numbers do

***Clooney and Soderbergh and HBO team up again – After failing pretty miserably with their first series for HBO, George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh have signed another deal with the premium cable network to bring a untitled improv comedy to the network. That new show will feature three struggling actors trying to make it big in Hollywood. As of now, five episodes have been ordered.

After political drama “K Street” was shelved after one season (a surprise since HBO is usually pretty patient with series development look at “Carnivale”), it’s interesting, though not terribly surprising, to see the duo get another chance. For their sake, let’s hope things turn out better this time.

***If you’re interested – Here’s a list of the Daytime Emmy nominations. They are the probably the 2nd most important set of awards in the television industry, so they are worth paying attention to. I must say, it’s nice to see Ellen DeGeneres get her props for rising from celebrity purgatory and gracefully enter the limelight again.

Reality TV Updates

*** Two Season One “Survivors:” gone. – Two interesting developments in the last two episodes of “Survivor: All Stars” have left two of the people who initially made the game famous going home without the top prize. First, during the episode that aired on February 26th, Richard “Big Naked” Hatch from the Mogo Mogo tribe was voted off after an immunity challenge led to a massive controversy. Host Jeff Probst, playing the role of referee or umpire was forced to make a very tough call during an immunity challenge. Two contestants (Chapera tribe’s Rob Mariano and Mogo Mogo tribe’s Colby Donaldson) were grappling while trying to move flags from one side of a long, thin beam over water to the other. When the two landed in the water at practically the same time, Probst ruled that Rob landed first therefore giving his tribe immunity while the Mogo Mogo voted off “Big Naked.” Seeing as he is big, was running around naked, and everyone was tired of that behavior, it wasn’t a huge loss. However, as reported in the New York Post Probst made it clear that he made a mistake and should have ruled Colby instead of Rob. That would have changed the game significantly.

Meanwhile, Susan Hawk, another Season One participant, decided during episode aired on March 4th that she had been “dehumanized” and went on a vicious, angry, raucous tirade yelling primarily at Probst, but really to anyone who would listen (including those holding the cameras). She felt this way because while she was on one of the beams, “Big Naked” apparently thrusted his torso and genitalia towards Sue, which led to them to touch her in a way she didn’t want to be touched. So, after much deliberation (and over acting I must say), she decided to up and quit the game.

However, all is well. Despite Susan being angry at Richard, the “Survivor” producers, and CBS. She buried the hatchet and appeared on the Friday, March 5th, “Early Show” on CBS with Richard and was much calmer and cooler. I never would have guessed that. She didn’t want to throw away that last television appearance

*** Good-bye Omarosa! – In a move that was long overdue, “The Donald” (Donald Trump) spoke the now immortal words in the television and popular culture lexicon “You’re Fired.” to Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, a Political Consultant and part-time beauty contestant consultant from Washington D.C. She definitely developed a reputation as a bitch that was hard to work with and not well liked by the other competitors on the show. That came out even more over the last couple of weeks when, while looking through a dilapidated apartment, a small piece of plaster fell and hit her on the head. Once that happened, she began complaining of frequent headaches when it was time to get work done, but they magically disappeared when it came time to giving orders and delegating responsibilities. She attempted to turn it into a point of strategy and an excuse to be lazy, but that blew up in her face.

Well, all that came to a head when she ended up in the boardroom after the “Protégé” Corporation lost a challenge to “Versacorp” when the latter picked an up and coming artist and sold more than $13,000 of his work at an opening where as the former sold less than $1,000 at their own opening for another artist. The board room got extremely heated and after some words were exchanged amongst the other team members, Omarosa began crying outside of the board room and then intruded on Mr. Trump and his associates when she wasn’t instructed to. From there, Omarosa didn’t stand a chance since she was crying and making excuses. It led to her being let go and the audience is now forced to find a new villain to root against. Once Omarosa left the competition, it would become harder to find someone to dislike since every other competitor is largely honest, hard working, and easier to identify with.

The next few weeks of this reality show should be quite intriguing

*** The “Average Joe” loses again – In what was largely an hour long show filled with unnecessary fluff to add additional drama, Larissa chose pretty boy, Gil over “Average Joe” Brian when the final decision needed to be made on the show’s season finale aired March 1st.

The show included Gil showing Larissa around his hometown of Ft. Lauderdale, FL and also several segments where Brian showed Larissa around Boston including meeting friends and walking the field at baseball stadium, Fenway Park. Obviously, these segments were supposed to leave the audience thinking and wondering about whom she might choose in the end. However, similar to the first “Average Joe,” the guy who may have been scrawny but had a heart so big and full of love, it bulged out of his chest lost out to the pretty boy with less personality and less passion.

However, unlike “The Bachelor/Bachelorette,” the show didn’t end with Larissa choosing the hunk and then running away to an exotic location. For the entire week before the show aired, NBC hyped a “big secret” that Larissa had that would “change everything.” Well, once her and Gil were at their luxurious Mexican getaway for several days, she broke the big news.

She is Fabio’s ex-girlfriend.

You know Fabio The ridiculously hunky guy who’s been on the cover of approximately 3,500 romance novels and who has the personality of the shampoo he uses to wash his unnecessarily long hair.

Gil took it hard and allegedly left the resort once he found out the news leaving Larissa all alone. Apparently, all guys were supposed to understand why he’d be upset. Personally, I’m still trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about. However, in a particularly sleazy move by the producers, the last part was apparently made up since the happy couple were on “Today” after the morning after the show aired and said they were still together classy

In retrospect, it was probably a good idea for Larissa and the producers to keep that information from the audience. She came off as pretty shallow as it was, but if her dating history made it into the show, EVERYONE would have known the “Average Joe” wouldn’t have had a chance in hell

Adam, the first “Average Joe” to lose to the hunk, will return March 16th with his own “Average Joe” series. I think Brian from Boston deserves his own show too. He really left himself out there.

*** The Rat Pack BABY! – Since I am more active in writing a television column, I have decided that I need to develop more of an interest in some of the shows that are extraordinarily popular but normally wouldn’t attract my interest as much. So, when Season Three of “American Idol” debuted earlier this year, I made a concerted effort to get into a show that routinely attracts 23-30 million people per episode.

While I haven’t fallen in love with the show the way a lot of America has, I will say that I am interested in the results and have thrown my intense support to a couple of performers including one of the members of Group four, the final eight in the round of 32. John Stevens is a 16-year-old high school student from New York who sings like he should be part of the Rat Pack and looks like a less awkward Conan O’Brien.

When he first auditioned, I loved him immediately.

Forget the fact that he’s the youngest person left in the competition and is oozing so much Irish charm, I keep waiting for him to pull out a glass of Guinness and a bouquet of four-leaf-clovers. I am just greatly interested in the fact that he sounds like a Rat Pack/Harry Connick Jr. hybrid instead of the bubble gum pop junk that the “American Idol” contest usually stands for. Instead, when he sings, he fills the room with a sweet, slow, sultry tenor voice that I never thought I’d see in popular music again. During his recent “Introduction” montage, he mentioned that he was introduced to a Frank Sinatra CD when he was five years old and hasn’t put it down since. Thank God for that.

He performed again during the Tuesday, March 2nd live broadcast and while he didn’t have his best performance singing a powerful Elton John song very weekly, Simon “hoped he did well.” Apparently, that was enough because along with 17-year-old Jasmine Trias, a Hawaiian cutie who has a pretty powerful voice, but is one step away from that bubble gum pop sound I dislike so much, John Stevens made it into the Final 12 and received the most votes of all the contestants in his group.

Will he come out victorious in this thing? Probably not. He doesn’t have much of a stage presence and he could use another year or two of physical maturity (i.e. I don’t see a protruding adam’s apple). However, the longer he stays in this thing, the more likely people will take notice of that swanky, sexy Rat Pack/Harry Connick sound. And as far as I am concerned, that’s a good thing. I think it’s great for music and it’s good television since I am eager to tune in every week to see what happens next

Closing Credits: Could “Forever Eden” really last “forever?”

OK I’ve viewed the first two episodes of Fox’s “Forever Eden” and to be quite honest, I am not sure if it’s a positively dreadful show or an insanely entertaining show. I say that because as far as I’m concerned, there really is no in between. It’s either going to be horrible or intriguing.

Allow me to explain myself

I find the show to be horrible because there really isn’t much to it. The producers have selected 11 beautiful twenty-something people (six women, five men) to go to an undisclosed tropical location that has cleverly been labeled as “Eden,” of course after the tropical place where Adam & Eve got their start in the Bible before that dastardly serpent screwed everything up for them.

The contestants in the game have traded in their lives to go to this tropical paradise and be pampered beyond belief. We’re talking free food, free booze, massage therapists, free yoga and pilates classes, anything they could want. However, they just do not have any contact with the outside world. That means no television, radio, newspapers, magazines, Internet, phones, or contact with other people besides the people on the island.

In return for giving up their identities, each contestant was given four gold coins worth $1,000 a piece. The idea of the game is that they need to stay in “Eden” for as long as possible because the more extended their stay is, the more money they will earn. Of course, the rules are once a player is “banished” from Eden, they lose half their money and if they choose to leave on their own accord, they receive NOTHING! (cue dramatic music )

The horrible aspects of “Forever Eden” really lie in the contestants on the show and the premise. Looking at the contestants first, the producers did a pretty lousy job in securing contestants that are interesting and worth paying attention to. I would say that all 11 people that appeared on the original show lacked any sort of strong personality traits that make them special. They all seem very young and attractive, yet extremely generic as well. I feel like I could get more out of a series of Abercrombie magazine advertisements than I do out of the contestants on the first two shows.

In addition, the premise of “Forever Eden” sounds fairly appealing, but is extremely flawed at the same time. Since the contestants are stripped of their identities and contact with the outside world, all they have to do is eat, drink, talk about the game they are supposed to be playing, and swim in the pool at the resort. Part of the charm of shows like “The Real World” and “The Apprentice” is the fact that the cast members/contestants have at least SOME contact with the rest of society in the way they are at least allowed to leave the house. This allows for more interesting situations to write themselves. The contestants on “Forever Eden” don’t even have physical challenges the way shows like “Survivor” or “Real World/Road Rules Challenge” have to add to the drama of the shows. It’s all a series of mind games that don’t really make much sense.

The one question that will likely need to get answered as the game goes on is “How long can these players stay away from the real world and the people in their lives that they’ve left behind?” However, since the game has just begun, everybody is more concerned about earning money and staying in the game. That could be an intriguing dilemma the contestants face as the show moves forward.

While “Forever Eden” has some terrible concepts that make it close to unwatchable, I will continue to tune in for one reason:

The rules of the game.

Perhaps I should rephrase that and say:

The rules of the game that are made up as the show progresses.

The only rules specified at the beginning of the show are that if a player gets banished from the island, they only get to keep half the money they earned and if they leave on their own accord, they get none. So, the obvious question that needs to be answered is:
How does one get banished? This is where the show becomes interesting. No one has any idea how they get banished. The rules appear to be made up as the days go forward.

Take the events following the first two banishments for example:

* The five men are instructed by host, British travel journalist, Ruth England, to select the “least desirable woman” of those in the group of women on the island. They all vote for Mary, a 25-year-old Sports Club Manager living in Scottsdale, AZ, for varying reasons. They aren’t sure why they have to do this, but what’s done is done. Mary receives an envelope she is not allowed to open and the “apple” which sometimes represents “good” and sometimes “evil.” In this case, the apple represents “evil,” again fairly constant with the story from the Bible.

* At the “banishment temple” (a symbolic area that vaguely resembles “Survivor’s” Tribal Council), England notifies the contestants that since Mary was voted as the “least desirable” she would be able to take her “revenge” by voting off one man. She had 24 hours to make her decision.

* After the men kiss her ass for 24 straight hours, she decides to pick Craig, a 28-year-old fitness model ALSO from Scottsdale, AZ, at the banishment temple the following night.

* Everyone assumes that the end has come and Craig will be going home. However, during the ceremony, a young waiter presents a tray with two folded cards and Mary must choose one of the cards. One says “Spare” and one says “Banish” but she can’t see which is which. If she picks the “Banish” card, then she and Craig are both banished from the island and if she picks the “Spare” card, then she is saved from elimination for one round. She picks the “Banish” card, so both beautiful people are heading back to lovely Scottsdale, AZ.

* The next morning, over breakfast, two new guests arrive and England makes her presence known again saying that one woman would be banished and in the mean time, they need to pick the “Most Desirable Man” and that will somehow play into the banishment of the next player.

Essentially, the rules don’t make any sense and those in charge of the game make them up as they go along. That would be dangerous if a group of kids were playing a game one of them made up. However, in the case of a reality show carefully organized by creators and producers, it keeps everyone, including the viewers at home, interested in what the next twist and turn could possibly be. That alone is what makes this show potentially entertaining now and for the future. What needs to happen now is attracting contestants who have richer personalities and can offer more to the drama when people get together in situations like this. Even with heavy, HEAVY editing, there was very little else happening between the people on the island. Hopefully, that will change as the series gets more warmed up.

Will it really last “forever?”

One of the reasons I’ve found this particular show so intriguing is the concept that if Fox has its way, the show really will continue go on well forever. That means every single week there would be a new episode kind of like what Peter Weir and Ron Howard imagined when they directed The Truman Show and EdTV respectively.

This concept is actually remarkably similar to what the WWE does with their programming. That company produces new weekly shows with continuing storylines every week for Viacom and it’s barely ever mentioned. It’s really taken for granted. Meanwhile, David Chase and co. only produce 13 episodes of “The Sopranos” every two years for HBO and that receives a significant amount of attention.

However, I think the concept of the show “lasting forever” has been lost in the first two largely clunky episodes with contestants that aren’t worth paying attention to. However, the constant twists and turns allow the show some potential when attempting to drum up dramatic situations that audience may take an interest in. If Fox is willing to be patient and attempt to tweak the show as needed (starting by changing the rules to dump half the current cast), then this experiment could turn into a rousing success in the history of reality television.

Whether it’s “Forever Eden” or something else that whets your viewing appetite, I hope you .

Enjoy the show!

— Coogan